The Duggars Have An Announcement To Make
Since OctoMommy is currently the country's premiere baby pimp, the Duggars had to do something quick to steal the spotlight back! Whatever it is they did, they will announce it this Monday on Today. What in traumatized uterus hell could it be?!
Most likely the oldest Duggar, Joshua, will announce that his new wife is knocked up with their 1st of ten trillion kids. They were only married last September, but they couldn't even kiss before they became legal! Seriously, Duggar rules state they couldn't kiss, finger bang or even do anal! Some fucked up shit. So I'm guessing that they started doing fucky times on their wedding night and haven't really stopped since. Josh's wife's vagina is already crying, because it knows its future is going to be filled with giant baby heads.
I also wouldn't be shocked if Michelle was pregnant with her 19th kid. Bitch barely had a baby girl, Jordyn-Grace, in December, but that woman is a freak of nature. Shit, she was probably already knocked up before she gave birth to Jordyn. While Jordyn was sliding out, the fetus waved and said "See you later, girl." Michelle is like a machine. I want to see her ass and OctoMommy in a baby-off!
Hopefully, the real news is that Michelle has decided to quit this baby stuff and move to Detroit, the hair capital of the world, to become a famous hair show model. Homegirl's hair has the wings for it.
VIA The Frisky
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You think those special ed looking, beady-eyed window-licking Duggar boys are ATTRACTIVE, sickkitten? Every last one of them looks like an inbred short bus little backwoods cracker fucker. And the girls aren't much better.
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You have a fucking signature quote...come on now. Doesn't get much worse. aeon312 4/3/09
Christ, not another fuckin baby!! When, oh when will menopause set in??!
Wait! HOLD ON! I just figured out why they have had so many kids. The kids turn out really attractive. Still, no excuse.
I don't agree with this family but at least they have good looking kids. Gotta give 'em that.
I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___SugarmommaMeet.Com_____a great place for rich Woman to meet young and handsome man.............
It's a special kind of crazy to be a baby-making factory like this bitch is.
That website is KILLING me.
It reminds me of the Dr. Dobson newsletter except sexy. People asking other people questions that there is NO Biblical precident for, yet somehow they make it Biblical anyway.
i.e. - Is it a sin for me to masturbate over the phone whilst talking to my fiance?
Oh, for pete's sake!
Btw, the answer is apparently "yes".
The marriage bed is interesting. I'm checking it out. Wow I didn't know a thing like this existed.
The Duggards are overpopulating our planet. They should stop breeding ASAP.
Mama better stop stop birthin babies before the older girls leave/get married/become strippers/let their inner lesbian out or she'll have to look after her own kid.
Free Jinger
Great, keep getting pregnant so the reality show continues and the money keeps rolling in to subsidize her(their)industrial size family. She used to mow the lawn in a bikini; that's just so religious!
Parents are morons. If my son misbehaves in public which doesnt happen often, I reprimand him right then and there, so he gets embarrassed to do it next time, and so people see I don't let him act like a brat.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:22am.
Submitted by miffed_33 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:20am.
Sheeps owns a trouser snake!
thanx Fuzz.I have been wondering 4 a while now.
OT fuck that
Submitted by miffed_33 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:20am.
Sheeps owns a trouser snake!
&&&
For all you Alan Rickman lovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoqgZ595PHk
!WARNING!: This video will make pie goods temperatures reach critical levels. Risk of pie goods explosion is high. Use extreme caution.
Sheeps hon r u male or female??? OT enough is effucking nough!!!
LMFAOOO!!!!! @potty mouth princess: OMG, I was watching that cult freakshow the other night and thought the exact same thing, that Josiah is definitely going to be the closet gay in the family. Trust me I'm a fag hag with over ten years of professional experience, I can spot a gay from ten miles away.
Submitted by chica robotica on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 6:19am.
My favorite thread title is "Orgasm or Back Spasm?"
hahaha. If it happens while sitting at your desk at work, it's likely a spasm. If it happens on a trapeze at home with no more than 3 other people in the room, it's prolly an orgasm. Just some general guidelines.... your results may vary.
If we're talking about kids with no manners, try owning a fucking mall food court joint.
My fiance owns a franchise and people fucking put their children all over the counter, let them rifle through the tip jar, touch the register, fucking TOUCH THE FRYER, do whatever they want....Almost no moms correct the kids, I always have to do it myself and the parents are shocked when I do so.
The other day I encountered a child that made me just want to make an appointment to get my tubes tied. He was screaming shit so loud over the father that I had to ask them to leave eventually. It was so fucking crazy. People seriously let their kids treat the whole fucking world like a jungle gym, alienate people's space, wreak havoc in restaurants and laugh at it like it's fucking hilarious! When I have a kid, I can assure you it won't be acting like that. At least you hos are good moms...something I almost never see in real life.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
COME AT ME, BITCH!
Surely she has to lug her vagina/uterus about in a wheelbarrow now.
your damn right these kids are well behaved.. right wing christians beat the shit outta their kids.true that.
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Fucka Doodle Doo!
Submitted by TeriAnn on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 8:38am.
Oh hell no.
My son is extremely well-behaved and uses manners at all times.
I was at Chick-fila (sp?) yesterday with my son & I felt very out of place with those other parents.
Convo:
Mom: You need to eat now, you haven't eaten since lunch
Girl: I don't WANT to!
After non-stop whining from the girl...
Mom: Okay, well I will get you something to take home
Girl: Get me a shake!
Mom: No
Girl: Whines uncontrollably
Mom: Okay, but when we are leaving
Same convo with my son:
Me: You need to eat please.
Son: Ok. Can I have a shake?
Me: No, you have fruit and (low-fat) chocolate milk with your meal.
Son: Ok.
And I swear all the parents within hearing distance had their jaws drop as their brats ran around like friggin monkeys screaming and shit.
These kids are really well behaved and use manners. If only others could teach their kids respect towards others this world wouldn't be such a shit hole. Bet the majority of parents here let their kids run the house.
These people need help.
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://www.rantsthoughtsmerde.com/
from the marriage bed discussion forums.
"Sex with a larger partner."
okay, I can die happy now.
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Fucka Doodle Doo!
Submitted by mommy2kai on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 9:36pm.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 9:12pm.
http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/
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So I went to the site... LOL. My favorite thread title is "Orgasm or Back Spasm?"
And about the bed sizes by their names -- lol -- I think the larger the bed, the more they've posted on the board. I'm only guessing but it works like that on Television Without Pity. They don't use beds but they have category names to indicate how often one posts.
The Marriage Bed is hi-lar-ious.
These people scare me. Most religious types do really. My boyfriend is Mormon and he hates these people.
Fundie rules state the happy uterus cannot be penetrated for 80 days after the birth of a girl (even if it was via c-section), so JimBoob and OfJB weren't able to get their freak on until about a month ago. Too soon for her to be making an announcement unless they CHEATED ON GOD!!!!!!!!111
The poor deer in the headlights daughter in law is knocked up for sure. They were so busy doing the nasty that they didn't even show up for the group picture.
FREE JOHANNAH!!!! (the little one in the front)
Bets on the gay? Josiah, who is over-compensating with supreme smugness that a 12 year old shouldn't have.
Not to worry, OfJB will be pregnant before the year is out; won't it be sweet to have an aunt or uncle who is YOUNGER than you are? That just SCREAMS white trash, even more than their 18 kids or house that they couldn't build without the help of the Discovery Channel.
Go Duggars! I looooove me some Duggars. They fascinate me no end. I wish they had a lifefeed puppycam on them.
Hells bells, LORETTA!
Submitted by mommy2kai on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:11pm.
This caught my eye on the Marriage Bed board (and made me want to poke it out)-
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Uh, just went to that board after reading your post. WOW
over.popu.lation.
can't this crazy bitch have had her shit tied up after like the first 10? i can't even fathom it. at least unlike octopussy, she's married to the baby daddy, and the family seems to be relatively happy. still. i can't see breeding like this being any sort of benefit.
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Holy shit that website is hilarious! "Fiance struggle with porn". "need help with fiance's past sexual sins". HAHAHAHA!!!!
Extreme makeover helped build their house and gave them some $$$. So much for them being totally able to support themselves.
Submitted by The Audrey on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:36pm.
Nah, what bothers me the most is that pretty much every problem on the planet has one underlying cause - too many people. She should cauterize that gaping wound she calls a vagina.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by TT99 on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:33pm.
I guess that's what happens when you have sex without contraception like
EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Thank god for condoms, otherwise I'd be the mother of at least 15.
And I'd have at least...5...
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the end...
I don't know about you guys, but the thing that really pisses me off about this show is that when one child is old enough to be off the teet, he/she is passed off to one of the older girls to raise. Consequently, Mom and Dad Duggar get some freaky freaky alone time to make even more babies.
It's a cycle that grosses me out. Even though they can obviously take care of all of those kids financially, they can not possibly give them the attention they need as infants and toddlers. The mom even said on the show once that taking an active part in caring for (read as "raising") their younger siblings, will teach them how to be mothers themselves. Huh, you don't think? It's not like they need any kind of encouragement or direction to actually BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN A BABY MACHINE. *rolls eyes*
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
Instead of a dinner party, she should host the Donner party.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I guess that's what happens when you have sex without contraception like
EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! Thank god for condoms, otherwise I'd be the mother of at least 15.
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:27pm.
i know. irritating isn't it?
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appearances can be deceiving! *wink*
They're all smiling at me like the fucking Osmonds!!!!
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs
Maybe her news flash is that, you know, she really doesn't like kids.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by cringe on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:21pm.
kids look happy
*
i know. irritating isn't it?
mind you they could just be simple souls.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
kids look happy
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:10pm.
Submitted by tojo on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 9:59pm.
broke, and you lot are cheap!
++++++++++++++++
lol...and I just pictured MyTwoCents sitting at a bar with notebook propped open...lol
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the end...
Submitted by Sandbitch on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:13pm.
Wait until those kids figure that their mum and dad have done the fucky fucky more times than a mongrel dog.
*
more than ME that's for sure.
so depressing.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:14pm.
what.. no salad bar?... pfft.. ripoff!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:14pm.
Submitted by The Audrey on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:08pm.
I note that beside each of the posters names they have indicated what size bed they have. That is decidedly odd.
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I had just noticed that, too. The weirdness train keeps rolling on...
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Grossness... *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
The news is that she's getting her uterus reupholstered. She's also adding a pool table and a mini-bar.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by The Audrey on Fri, 04/10/2009 - 10:08pm.
I note that beside each of the posters names they have indicated what size bed they have. That is decidedly odd.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
devilgirl, I am like that with Dunkin Donuts. I have to get some Munchkins when I am back East.
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There's solace a bit for submitting to the fitfully cryptically true
What's happened has happened,what's coming is already on its way- with a role for me to play
-Fiona Apple "Red Red Red"
Wait until those kids figure that their mum and dad have done the fucky fucky more times than a mongrel dog.