You Know Where This Is Going.....
At the Berlin Zoo yesterday, a crazy lady decided to take off her shoes and pay Knut a little visit! It was polite of her to take off her shoes before entering...
The 32-year-old loontardian, who was visiting the zoo with her husband and baby, broke into the polar bear enclosure during the perfect time: FEEDING TIME! Why are people stupid? Why?
When the crazy bitch finally got in, she seemed like she was filled with happiness as she swam towards one of the older polar bears. Knut was not around at the time, because he was doing a photo shoot with Playgirl or something. Now, I don't know what kind of craziness was swirling through that bitch's head while she swam towards a hongray polar bear. Maybe she thought it would be like the cartoons and they'd skip off together into the fake icy tundra. Obviously, that didn't happen.
The polar bears must have thought it was their fucking birthday! Here was a special needs seal swimming directly into their mouths! It didn't take long for them to begin biting at the bitch! When the kook realized the polar bears were gnawing at her instead of showering her with welcoming kisses, she began swimming towards safety. Some of the zoo workers tried to get the bears away from her while others hoisted the heifer up the wall with a lifesaver. The first time they tried, the lifesaver broke, but eventually they got her ass up there. The woman was taken to the nearest hospital where she was treated for bites to her arms and legs.
Nobody knows why she decided it was a good idea to try to play with the polar bears, but I think I know why. It's because she's FUCKING CRAZIER THAN FUCKING CRAZY! Let's be serious.
I think she also might be stalking Knut. Knut needs to look into taking out a restraining order against that nut!
Below is video of her rescue and also some pictures of her getting bit by a polar bear. Maybe he wasn't trying to eat her ass. Maybe he was getting kinky with her?
Wenn.com (Thanks Sabrina)
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Here was a special needs seal swimming directly into their mouths!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA. OH, MK. I LOVE YOU. Lmfao.
Polar bears are the only land mammal that do not kill its pray via sucking the blood from juggler, instead they just start chewing. Little known fact but still what a retard.
what's even more stupid is, she or her family will sue the zoo, win for some ludicrous amount of money, and have Knut euthanized
Thank goodness they didn't shoot the bears, which is usually what happens in these types of scenarios. Some stupid person puts themselves in front of a wild animal & expects nothing to happen and the poor animal ends up paying for the human's stupidity with it's life. I certainly hope that Children's Services investigates this family since the loony woman has a small child. What in the world was she thinking by jumping in there? She's obviously not a rational person and I would question whether or not she's competant enough to care for a child.
Naw, he was trying to eat her ass.
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Submitted by Sluttsville on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 4:35pm.
Submitted by paulapoo on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 3:49pm.
They might want to upgrade their rescue equipment. Those were some jankass life preservers.
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It wasn't that the life preservers were cheap, it was the fat ass stuffed into it.
The stupid bitch was flaying her legs around while the rescuers were getting hernias trying to haul Shamoo the dumbass to safety. That's when the life preserver broke.
'Member? On here it was mentioned that the Berlin Zoo was going to give away Knut? Too expensive and his original trainer dead? What happened with that?
Yeah, Paris herpes, only in America. The SF Zoo should be suing those two dipsticks for the loss of Tatiana. The laws have got to be altered for this type of thing, because we let hospitals off the hook for leaving sponges in patients yet anyone can sue for being an ass. By the way, the two dipsticks from the SF Zoo incident have long criminal backgrounds and Mark Gregaros as their attorney.
Also that lady in Connecticut who had her chimp go wild is being sued too. She is a true loon who gave her chimp Zanax to calm him down.
The hilarious thing is this is a lot more common than it should be, remember when that drunk chinese guy decided to give one of the pandas a hug while he was visiting the Beijing zoo and got his ass mauled instead.
No one is arguing that polar bears and pandas aren't the cutest of all the bears. But this type of cute these bears have makes people that are already stupid into complete fucking idiots.
These idiots remind me of those parents who stand by their spoiled selfish evil offspring during murder trails when the kid is so obviously guilty as sin and evil like the bastard.
And the parents say: 'They are so cute' 'They are so loving' and the best 'They love animals' 'They could never hurt anyone, ever!'.
To me these are the two groups most likey to go absolutely dickblind.
Does make for some pretty hilarious instances of 'when animals attack' though.
This story has made my m'effn day! They should've stretched her azz in three/four different directions. This depiction on indicates that there is some new crack on the market!
Snideychick sez:
Hey, I have three cats, take care of my 85-year-old Alzheimers addled mother, and I'm a cereal killer.
More Coco Puffs please or I'll eat your fucking liver!
@ Rhoda
*nodding head in agreement*
That goes with my cousin's and my theory about people who have pets, take their mother to the A & P for Sunday grocery shopping and are serial killers. They are good sons/daughters.
In that video didn't the bear bite her in the arse? LMAO.
I love dumbasses, they sure make the world go round!
I just love the pic where she is screaming her ass off. stupid bitch
Hope bitch gets to pay her hospital fees herself. There was an other idiot jumping into Knuts compound on New Year. Luckily Knut didn't give a polar bears ass. To imagine he would have to be shot because he got the taste for humans. Coming to think of it these people should be allowed to meet their fate like "Grizzly man". Great flic BTW.
German-Eskimo Pie!
If Jane and I had not stayed up all night watching "The Ten Commandments" we'd be in a better mood.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___SugarmommaMeet.Com_____a great place for rich Woman to meet young and handsome man.............
I was looking for that Katt Williams vid....too funny!
i wish a mutha fucka would....
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Bet you're probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably don't think nothing of me.
Kat Williams on tigers in zoos---please watch. Totally apropos to this dumb shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNak-6O8lFQ
Now you sluts may understand what I mean when I tell you that there are loons galore in Berlin.
It would be laughable of her to try and sue a city billions of dollars in debt!
They should have fed her fat ass to Knut!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
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The sow will no doubt now sue the city of Berlin for 10 million euros - and win!
They should have bit the bitch's head off... hollow like an easter egg.
We hope the bears have not been poisoned by their contact with that hideous vile sow!!!
Something tells me this bitch works in a costume shop.
xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
It's funny when the bear is trying to take a bite out of her ass and they hit it in the head with that pole thing, but hit the dumbbitch in the head too, and the bear lets her go and she slams into the wall. Sadly, this woman can't get a Darwin award because they saved her and she already has a kid.
The polar bear got one whiff of that rank euro pussy and said no thanks. I'll just bite this kraut kunt in the blubbery azz.
Submitted by kiwikim on Sun, 04/12/2009 - 2:10am.
LMAO TV.
You always give me the right perspective on things!
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Have you tried vodka?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
LMAO TV.
You always give me the right perspective on things!
Submitted by kiwikim on Sun, 04/12/2009 - 1:33am.
Turns out the zookeepers only saved her ass because they were concerned about the bear's cholesterol. Seals and whales have less blubber.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I think the life ring broke because her fat ass is too heavy.
Man I wish nature had been allowed to take it's course.
Why did these assholes save this dumb bitch and hit a polar bear in the process? She's too dumb to live and they should have left her to her fate. Survival of the fittest and she is definitely not fit or smart. She looks like a nice fat piece of lardy meat. Polar bears need fat to protect them from the cold. I think all this dumb whore is good for is eating. Good application of resources if she'd been torn limb from limb. Entertainment and food.
Some dumb asshole broke into sea world a decade or so back to swim with the killer whales nude. The killer whale killed him thank God. It was at night. No one was around to save him.
the 4th & 5th pics are EPIC! my new desktop forever.
I bet she does it again next week.
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
I was thinking chicken.
Germans taste like porridge
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
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I guess it was about the 4th pic that Helga realized that the bear wasn't going to just sit there and sing like Country Bear Jamboree.
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*This may be my favorite post ever.
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OKAY NOT TO MENTION YOU CAN'T STOP A DOG FACE WITH A SOCK STRAP OR A BOOT FACE SMASH YOU KNOW!
Was this idiot dropped on her head a few hundred times as a baby? Jesus.
What. A. Dumbass.
Submitted by leonard mckelvey on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:42pm.
That woman is someone's mother god help us all. It's in the genes.
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My guess is that she just made something else in her jeans.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I hate zoos. I wish they had eaten that stupid bitch. Idiots like her are a waste of space.
Submitted by leonard mckelvey on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:42pm.
My learned guess is not for much longer.
That woman is someone's mother god help us all. It's in the genes.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:21pm.
Laughing OUT LOUD!
( you know only 2 or 3 of us get that joke )
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
The headline of the video should be Woman Provokes Polar Bear, not Polar Bear Attacks Woman. That stupid woman caused this to happen, not the bears. How dumb, deluded, high, scatter-brained must this idiot be? Some people are beyond belief.
I hope the Zoo can have that woman charged or sued. She shouldn't be allowed to get off without some form of prosecution. Dumb bitch!
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:13pm.
That's very judgemental.
I suggest you heed the words of Gandhi when he said, 'Let he that casts the first line to catc
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 10:52pm.
Velcro. It's the opiate of the dumbmasses.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
im glad knut didnt eat her imagine the high levels of cholesterol and fat she'd contain
LMAO @ special needs seal!
But what I CANNOT figure out is how the f did someone so stupid actually manage to find their way out of their own shoes?
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Since she wasn't officially lunch, her stupid ass deserves an honourable mention Darwin arward!
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Common sense is the genius of humanity - Goethe