Tuesday, April 14th 2009

The Photoshop Awards: Eminem On XXL

I realize that XXL wanted to make Eminem as The Punisher as menacing as possible, but I feel like I need to file a restraining order against this cover. Bitch has "I'm gonna butt rape you" eyes. Couldn't they have used the "kittens and rainbows" tool over his mug, so he looks less like he wants to rip a bitch's cheek off with his teeth.

After this picture was taken, the tattoo of his little girl started crying, because she was scared too.

Posted by: Michael K


blaaaake's picture

try harder to prove you don't like guy's asses, Em.

God hes tedious...
I cant stand a man with zero sense of humour....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

c - u - next - tuesday's picture

dre and eminem need to come out of the closet already.

zantx915's picture

Me, neither!

Submitted by SoMissDelicious on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 5:46pm.
I would fuck him 6 ways to Sunday and then 6 more times ON Sunday just to make the angels jealous.

And I have no shame admitting that.

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"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw..."

Bondagebarbie's picture

gay.

xoxoxoxox
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

bella.noire's picture

even with him looking like that, I'd let him "butt-rape" me upside-down and sideways until he couldn't walk. I'll always have love for Em.

Winominx's picture

This is some frightening shit.

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Minxowin

KD's picture

Yeah, his eyes just don't look right.

duoajdofdggd's picture

I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___SugarmommaMeet.Com_____a great place for rich Woman to meet young and handsome man.............

LunaChick's picture

Is he supposed to look like an "action figure"?

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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

chefcammi's picture

hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa......

these photos look AWFUL!!! It's like they hired an 8th grader to photoshop the pics.. theyre all blurry and shit... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~<3~~~

The Early Bird gets the worm but the Second Mouse gets the cheese.

What's with the weird lump between his eye?
And I don't mean his actual head!

Joe Mahma's picture

Fag.

owlbear's picture

Why are people in uniform considered sexy?join in-www.uniformmate.com-to seek the anwsers!

zomay's picture

I don't know, I would of liked to have seen him without the guns. Call me a hippy if you want.

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32flavorphoenix's picture

They did get a bit jiggy with the photoshop face (oh yeah, i went there- blame walgreen's for the Absolut sale.. the 1.75 liter for $25?!?! c'mon!) but 6 ways past Sunday he could still hit it.

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Who the fuck are the Knutzens?!?! ~The Dude
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Cunty LaRue's picture

I would tap that fucking ass from here to Sunday.

z-listed's picture

That cover wasn't Photoshopped, it's a cartoon drawing!

NaNoop's picture

Each time I look at this picture, I see a young Adolf Hitler. The upper lip shadow looks like the 'stache and his hair combined with his face....

Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?

Reluctant Whore's picture

That arm is totally there on purpose. He's covering the rolls.

www.reluctantwhore.com
www.cafepress.com/reluctantwhore

yves.'s picture

ew, he looks like a redneck fuckass.

PhantomDog's picture

Haw! He's the perfect definition of what we Ricans call "gille." It's like wanna-be but with much more intensity. M; you'll never a hardcore bad-ass negro, not matter how much you hang with a few. Always remember, Emma; only be tough when security's behind you. Otherwise it's time to "stomp the face into paste." And now the Punisher? Hahahahahahahahaha...

Karma Police's picture

Submitted by bitchette on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 5:25pm.

I like Eminem, I like Lil Wayne and I like Kanye!

So there.

(I like most rap actually cept soldja blo-job boy.)

*****
Me too. It definitely isn't very popular on Dlisted but that's okay with me. I will bump Tupac when I am 86 years old. =)

Newportjoey's picture

What big ears he has!!! (relatively)....

"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."

duoajdofdggd's picture

I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___SugarmommaMeet.Com_____a great place for rich Woman to meet young and handsome man.............

In high school I loved Eminem. Now I think he's the biggest douche bag. He should have stayed in retirement.

igby88's picture

-igby they need to CORNIFY the entire thing. That would be the best thing for the cover, unicorns.

Aamyko.'s picture

Why this guy always has to appear shirtless at any given time is totally beyond me.. what a twat.
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http://www.aamyko.com
Hot Music & Hot Cocks!

wow, i like him, he is so Special.It is reported that em is flirting with a super model secretly at ___classymingle.com____ a Wealthy men and celebrities dating site.

madam ex's picture

sorry it double posted, so I will add, that he looks sexy as fuck and I would let him ball gag me and do whatever he wants with me whenever he wants, hurting me or not.

Em hasn't had chunk in a while, he's either taking steroids but he has been built up for a while now.

madam ex's picture

I love love love EM, he can do no wrong in my book ever.

Deb's picture

I hate to say it, but this look is so "High School Massacre". Sorry, but only members of the military get to pose with weapons.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

paris herpes's picture

They even photoshopped his face to all hell. The chunk is probably still present in his face anyway...that tattoo is probably Haylee or whatever his daughter's name is. The whole look is pretty scary and overly macho. Pffftt! So not impressed.

"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde

Tigerlilly's picture

When did this fat fucker lose the chunk?? Fuck! These photoshop geniuses need to make my tiger ass look like a 20 y/o nekkid Marilyn Monroe. It would involve less work...
TITS, you on it???? ;-)

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

M.i.S.'s picture

So uh...

"So lemme give you motherfuckers some help: uh, here, XXL XXL now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell."

Remember that line, Eminem? I smell a sellout. A hot sellout, but a sellout nonetheless.

“If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.” -Jack Handey

mike's picture

His face looks like a poor digital representation, a la George Lucas.

christine the hoff's picture

that doesn't even look like the fucker..

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Fucka Doodle Doo!

Deb's picture

The shadow under his nose makes him look Hitlerish. Scawy!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

yucko's picture

What a joke.

He's not fat anymore. Yay? If at all, he has the "bad boy" image down in a completely facetious way--that face inspires images of the kind of short twat from middle or high school that would act like a superficially tough asshole to make up for his stature and unmatured face. Does he even grow facial hair?

Whatever's picture

What a douche.

I don't care what he's done to lose his flub blub, that boy is fugly as hell and he's a hateful bastard too. F*ck you EMINEMENENENENEM!

whatyagonnado's picture

Has-been!

Noelegy's picture

He looks...computer-generated. And not even well done. Those eyes have got a definite "Jobe" from "Lawnmower Man" quality.

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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull

gucci's picture

The little girl on his arm is probably his daughter. and with that said, this picture scared the hammerin shit out of me

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Isn't it Bromantic?

letinstar's picture

i'm not a big fan of rap in general, but i never got the appeal of m&m other than he's not black...his stuff is just as misogynistic as any of the other rap crap that was floating out there....
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you see me, bitch....

TITS's picture

lonestar - they've pshopped him a LOT.

they've also whitened the eyes.

looks creepy to me.

.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito

luscious_t's picture

I don't know... a "Bonnie & Clyde" homage tatoo under the image of one's daughter may just trump "Cash Money" on Lil Wayne's belly as king of tacky.

*****
DRIVE SAFE, DON'T SMOKE WEED &
ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCKS OUT~
-PEACE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999

lonestartx's picture

Oh my, these pics show cokie eyes?? WTF? Surely.....no way...seriously is he?.....he's not f*cking around with the bad stuff? Hope not, have always thought he was unique if nothing else.

“I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.”
Hunter S. Thompson

Dj Tenn.'s picture

this new enhancement has left Feminem looking like an angry frightened lesbian..

such a pretty mess..

" See There? You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls

SoMissDelicious's picture

I would fuck him 6 ways to Sunday and then 6 more times ON Sunday just to make the angels jealous.

And I have no shame admitting that.

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This ho wouldn't know dignity if it fucked her in the ass.- Michael K
What the fuck kind of fukkery is this shit?