The Cougar: Will You Accept This Cold Sore?
The Cougar premiered a few days ago on TVLand, but last night I was drunk and stoned enough to venture into the den! Let me just say, this shit makes The Bachelor look like caviar on a silver spoon. It is such a piece of low-budget trash! The whole thing looks like it was paid for with a handful of McDonald's Monopoly tokens and a gift certificate to Master Cuts. I bet they didn't even pay to film in that mansion! They just crashed an open house. Anyway, this shit is under the fucking barrel.
The grossest part of the whole show is the elimination ceremony. Vivica Fox, who only signed up for this mess after producers promised they would track down her hairline, announces to the group of dicktards that if "The Cougar" gives them her lips, they are safe, if she gives them her cheek, they have to go home. Seriously, they can't even afford roses, so they pass out the herp instead! You know I'm not a prude, but this shit is kind of disgusting. You're not supposed to use your lips during orgies! Couldn't she put on a rubber glove and give them a handjob instead? That would be more sanitary. This shit must be sponsored by Abreva. Clip above.
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Ok her neck screams face lift, other than that though, she looks no older than 30!
i know Vivica is middle aged....but the kissing wwhore is too?
Uh, she's middle aged? Is 30 middle aged? what? That woman is NOT middle aged! is she?
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Vivica is so disgusting and obnoxious, I won't watch the show just because of her.
She just doesnt look like a true "cougar" to me...They needed someone who looks more like Stifler's mom to have more of a dramatic effect. She looks almost the same age as most of these guys & she looks like she has a great body, so I dont see this show as anything special or unique.
ugggh. there goes another 6:24 of my life. damn you, MK!
BOOOOOORING!
Oh for God's sake, let's get real here. Men are men and all but the most discerning or dying will stick their peen in any willing hole: picnic table umbrella hole, car wash vacuum hose hole; Tara Reid hole;(I do love men by the way - just being a realist here). She's not THAT bad - yes she's middle-aged and she's attractive (not drop-dead gorgeous, but attractive) and if she was willing to let one of those pups hump her, I'd say they would drop trou and have at her. Not because they're mad with lust but because she's *willing*
*The Willing Will Inherit the Peen* : Scripture according to Joe Shmoe.
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Maybe I’m Amazed
No nastier then Bret Michaels making out with his skanks one after the other. Seriously what woman.. I know these are bottom barrell skanks but come on, who says oh I think I'll tongue this nasty fucker after all these walking STD have doen the same? Everytime they do that I puke a little in my mouth.
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 10:16pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 10:13pm.
aren't cougars endangered?
if not they should be!
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HEY DOG!!! we were just talking about footrot flats! Dobbyn and the Herbs RULE.
re kittys - yes I'm fairly certain they are endangered or at the very least on the protected list.
Very impressive regal kitties.
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in a cat fight my money is always on horse
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Gu'day!
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 10:13pm.
aren't cougars endangered?
if not they should be!
*
HEY DOG!!! we were just talking about footrot flats! Dobbyn and the Herbs RULE.
re kittys - yes I'm fairly certain they are endangered or at the very least on the protected list.
Very impressive regal kitties.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
aren't cougars endangered?
if not they should be!
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Gu'day!
for those who asked:
cheek implants are inserted through the mouth. they make an incision between the gum line and the inside flesh of the cheeks and push them up. that is why there are no scars on her face...same procedure is used for chin implants by cutting along the gum line of the lower teeth.
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From an old Vadge post earlier this month by Spice Dong. Hit on it by accident while I wait for the movers to show up.
I hate the term Cougar too.
And I don't think she looks so bad like everyone is saying. She looks better than some 20-30 somthings I've seen.
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
loves the younger dudes, but i refuse to watch this fuckery...and viveca should fire her agent...
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you see me, bitch....
Right, Angel and PSL? MK taught us the Photoshop tricks. This hookah is Photoshopped to the nines. She ain't fooling anyone.
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Wolf Like Me
Apparently they found their cougar at the zoo in Beirut.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I agree Dee! wtf? This lady is supposed to be super hot? I beg to differ.
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“I don’t look like Halle Berry. But chances are, she’s going to end up looking like me.”
-Whoopi Goldberg
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 5:57pm.
Is this the skank I've seen in the advertising on this site for the past few days? Couldn't they afford a hotter cougar?
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Ditto. And really, I'd likely settle for better haircut and makeup...at LEAST.
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
She has children as old as some of these guys.... I don't care how young she looks....it's incestuous. And it made me throw up a little in my mouth. That said...I've tivo'd this mess so I don't miss a minute of this sub-feral reality crapfest.
Wow, how does she remember all those names?
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Maybe I’m Amazed
I had to cut it off after the rules were given. Yuck.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by boomsy on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 5:50pm.
No kidding. The priest wipes the chalice with a cloth--the same cloth over and over. A lot of US churches don't even use wine anymore, which might fight germs a little bit.
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Coachella 2009: Faces in the Crowd
Is this the skank I've seen in the advertising on this site for the past few days? Couldn't they afford a hotter cougar?
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Wolf Like Me
*Tee hee hee*
He said 'alone time'. Hee heee!
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 5:42pm
I'm not Catholic, but I did go to service once with my friend and I couldn't bring myself to do it (not that I probably should've anyway since I'm Baptist)...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
That was disturbing on so many levels. MK, you have the distinct advantage of being drunk and stoned when you watched this mess. I did it sober. (Don't view that clip sober.) Cougar = Skank. Run home, little innocent boys. This is train wreck TV. I'll look to you, MK, to continue your reporting on this std-tv craptaganza. (stock up on the booze, ganja).
Submitted by boomsy on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 5:33pm.
I don't think I'd want to be kissing on someone who was just kissing a bunch of other people; that's nasty.
It's like Communion.
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Coachella 2009: Faces in the Crowd
Submitted by Alex222 on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 2:40pm.
Why would a young guy want to date an old dried out hag?
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And conversely, what would a wise and mature, finely seasoned hot mama want with a silly, little boy with mommy issues?
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Original rejections, I guess; I felt bad for the guys that got the cheek. I REALLY felt bad for the last guy that got rejected that said "My pleasure" after she told him to kiss her. Those other dudes were laughing, and unfortunately so was I. However, I don't think I'd want to be kissing on someone who was just kissing a bunch of other people; that's nasty.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Well if you date a older woman with fake teeth, it would make her giving a BJ a lot easier. She just takes out her teeth and is ready to go.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Sat, 04/18/2009 - 2:21pm.
Yeah, I miss the old TVLand where they showed classic shows like "Bewitched," "I Dream of Jeanie" and "The Monkees" 24/7. Boo!
Mama Partridge, Shirley Jones would have made a good cougar!
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Pick up your socks and drop your slots, we're going to a party.
darlingjulie> Now THAT I would watch.
Alex> Hey now, not that I'm condoning this garbage, but she's not THAT old. And women reach their sexual peaks much later than men do. Those dudes have probably reached theirs...it's actually a perfect match, sexually speaking, anyway.
I couldn't make it through this clip. Guess I have to be drunk to watch it.
This is fucking retarded. I mean, who kisses like 20 guys at one go and 15, one after another on the lips unless they are in an orgy, a cheerleader or a total slut?!!! Eweee!
I was so gross out I had to stop watching it half way! And Cougar is a derogratory term, not a flattering one.
I mean , by all means, date a younger man, after all , lots of ugly old men date girls young enough to be their granddaughters; but this is so distasteful. Gross
I would prefer for the cougar to hand the champagne to those she wanted to stay and threw it the face of those she wanted to leave, that being said the kissing was gross.
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hahahahahahahahahahaha...now that would be worth watching! =p
That was STOOPID! And by that i mean just plain dumb. What's next? Does she lick the tip of the ones she likes and let the others dick slap her before she gives them the boot??
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
That's a cougar? I've seen better cougars in the retirement home. That's just an average run-o-the-mill skeezzy old bag. I wouldn't kiss that with YOUR lips.
I would prefer for the cougar to hand the champagne to those she wanted to stay and threw it the face of those she wanted to leave, that being said the kissing was gross.
That cougar has 4 kids. The oldest is 23/24 years old. I'd be mortified if that was my mother. I wonder if she stole her kids boyfriends.
Why would a young guy want to date an old dried out hag? I bet he'll need a gallon of lube to get her ready.
The best part of it all is that you have a ad banner running for this shit fiesta, MK !! LOL.
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http://pocagentesabe.com
Yeah, I miss the old TVLand where they showed classic shows like "Bewitched," "I Dream of Jeanie" and "The Monkees" 24/7. Boo!
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P.S.: Fuck you, Sarah Palin:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yFdijgMytUA
Chris Brown should get his ass kicked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo65yaAumko
This show really pisses me and its not's because of the subject matter, its the fact that its on TVLAND that annoys the hell out of me.
TVLAND should showcase old classic shows. That's what the channel was created for.
Its bad enough we have these vapid garbage shit shows on every other channel but now they are on TVLAND.
They make out during the elimination ceremonies anyway so it makes sense
I don't understand how a young person wants a dried up piece of beef jerky??? man or woman...
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://twoliablog.com/teacups-and-couture/
This chick is pretty hot. I'd definitely want to win this competition. My sister wanted a pony for Christmas when we were kids. I wanted a cougar.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
she doesn't look as ancient as i would have expected. How old is she?
The ads for this are airbrushed and give her a frightening mien so I was surprised seeing this clip.