THANK GOD & JESUS!!!
Last night, we all probably had the same nightmare: St. Angie and her holy family were sitting all alone in their huge mansion and they were STARVING. Ravenous! Pax was in the corner chewing on a baseboard, Maddox was nibbling on Shiloh's hair and Zahara was trying to kill mice with her eyes so they could roast 'em in the back on a BBQ made out of a trash can. Well, you can breath a huge sigh of relief, because UsWeekly has let it be known that the holy family went grocery shopping at Stop & Shop on Saturday!!!! Put down the phone to the Food Bank, they won't need to make a delivery to the Brangie house.
Seriously, this mess was the TOP STORY this morning. But I know why, because after I read it I actually thought for 2 seconds about what they bought. And when I read this quote from a peon, "They gave autographs and allowed people to take pictures of them inside...very nice," I wondered if they signed shit like melons or a big ham. Fuck, I would've made them sign a box of Summer's Eve and a pack of suppositories.
In order for me to close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep tonight, I need someone out there to tell me that all their bowel movements are regular. Oh wait, they don't go caca.
• 
FAMEWHORES! ALL OF THEM!
They drive me so crazy, I wrote a song about it:
http://www.phetasy.com/blogs/134/BITCHELINA-Act-III.html
Salem_ on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 6:56am.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Salem_ has way too much time on their hands.
*yaaawwwn*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Troll meltdown….reaches unbelieveable heights!
By Wouldn’t Yaknowit!
Recent photos that surfaced of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie shopping with two of their children led to severe psychotic breakdowns among those bloggers that consistently post about their psychotic and obsessive hatred for this family.
Dr. R. U. Forreal reports that a disproportionate amount of JP haters who coincidentally are known as Loonifers, suffered identity crisis and erotomania - an obsession over a couple the haters are desperately in love with and jealous of, under the guise of "hating" them. Dr. Forreal credits the traumatic reaction as being a direct result from the Jolie-Pitts remaining strong as a family when so many tabloids reported the end was here.
“They got their hopes up”, Dr. Forreal reports, “When one is struggling with an untreated personality disorder, then any shock that threatens their fantasy world can create a psychotic break.” Dr. Forreal goes on further to say, “This is very common among those that cannot distinguish between a tabloid report and fact”
That this happened was clearly was evidenced by Jolie-Pitt haters spending hour after hour after hour, clearly confused about identity, blogging continually and even reporting that they can read “hidden meanings” and “symbols” in each and every photograph.
“These people are unhinged and need help”, Dr. Forreal emphasizes, “They really are out of touch with reality.”
A hotline has been set up for them or anyone who knows someone afflicted with Troll melt-down disorder, otherwise known as Obsessive Hatred Disorder (or OHD) in an attempt to steer them away from harming themselves or others.
Have your dellusional Jolie-Pitt haters call, 1-800-Im-a-nutt. for support and referrals during this critical time.
Remember that movie that came out eons ago where Sally Fields plays an Erica Kane-like soap actress who frequents malls to soak in the attention from the peon mall shoppers? So yeah, these two baby pimps once again are doing something that's been DONE.
Submitted by K2 on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 5:35pm.
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K2, in El B.'s defense, I can assure you he's no loon. He was just taking the piss. :)
Okay, I went to the grocery store today ("no pictures please") and I was stylishly attired in...blue jeans, tee shirt, and Nikes like a normal human being. My husband did not accompany me, as he was busy having a life.
bourgie
From what I understand US Weekly is in big trouble for stealing this story from a Brad Pitt fansite.
The pictures on pittwatch and JJ are great. Normal like everyone. It's been a while .
Yeah, yeah, yeah...and I won't come in your mouth!! Never liked you bourgie, or that stupid TerriAnn - you are fucking idiots!! Get a grip losers. You rarely appear except for a Brangelina suckfest!! Or some other crap-ass shit. It's amazing you could be that stupid and naieve.
__________________________________________________________
I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Submitted by TeriAnn on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 12:13pm.
Love this family!! Unless you live in the dumps you should see women dressed like this all the time grocery shopping. But then again I'm sure you see women in their overhauls and work boots. Their are women who work in offices and own their own businesses as well who don't were jeans.
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Oh for pete's sake, give it up already !
These two douchebags have 6 kids - don't talk to me about dressing for the grocery store on a saturday as if she were going to some high profile job!! She's a f*cking actress. She use to wear jeans ALL THE TIME when it was just her and Maddox - she's with Pitt and her everyday wear has become 4 inch heels with skirts! Where's the biker jacket and boots she use to sport? You know, the down to earth Jolie? This is a scheduled photo op. Papz don't hang out at stop n shop in the hopes that Pitt & Jolie will skip into the store with kids in tow!
PEOPLE THAT HAVE 6 KIDS NORMALLY GO FOOD SHOPPING IN JEANS OR SWEATS!! THAT'S NORMAL BEHAVIOR. Ever see Jennifer Garner? Reese Witherspoon? Julia Roberts? Those are normal women who act for a living. They wear jeans, flip flops or sneakers to do food shopping - or to go to a park for that matter - actually anything involving the children. Jolie is on a mission to squash rumors of her break up. Pitt is just foolish enough to play into it with her. This was planned. Get your head out of the sand.
twosie, have you been to IanUnderCover.com? You could have a fucking blast fighting over there- give it a try! They DESPISE Brad and Angie over there!
************
They would chew her up and spit her out! She wouldn't have a chance in hell in making it off the site alive! LMAO.
Just once, why couldn't there have been someone crazy enough to through a tomatoe in her face?
Wow, I wonder how in the world those paps knew the exact time and place of where they would be? It's a conundrum.
Also, who the hell goes grocery shopping in heels?
===============================================
If you get to vote on my rights, when do I get to vote on yours?
Grocery shopping? Really?
I was just telling a coworker that it's probably time for them to show up again. Someone has a movie coming out within the next five.
Ta-da! Here they are.
Don't get me wrong. I know all actors/actresses promote their movies but this duo does it in a very different fashion, in my opinion.
If you are incapable of handling more than two or three children at any one time, then do NOT have more than that. Period. That's easy math.
Ahaha Sweetas!
I saw you wereing thems polyester and youse looking hawt!
Angie:
hmm Brad I think it's time for us to do a casual PR family jaunt to the grocery store to show how we are still together. What shall I wear? Oh yes my blouson, pencil skirt and high heel knee high boots.
Now which children have been looking neglected lately.. oh there hasn't been any photo ops with Shiloh and Z lately, okay we'll leave the rest of the kids home, that should send a message to the public how we spend individual quality time with our children as a team.
Next week it'll be Pax and Shiloh's turn to interact on camera, we'll take them to the kiddie park, got to get a dress made for that first though.
sweetas: Eye no, butt then Eye live in the dumps!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related
Love this family!! Unless you live in the dumps you should see women dressed like this all the time grocery shopping. But then again I'm sure you see women in their overhauls and work boots. Their are women who work in offices and own their own businesses as well who don't were jeans.
Ew! I just came back from the Holie Family Altar (JJ), and I need an acid bath. Yeeech!
Holie Jolie is over-dressed (Hi boots? Really?) for an "impromptu" trip amongst the commoners...
Brad is dressed like he works for her (which is appropriate, I guess)...
And God bless those little urchin gypsy girls...
Good that someone finally got a hold of Z's hair (a tight-as-hell-hold), but Shi- Shi, poor Shi Shi...
Where are the "twibs" (twin blobs)? They must keep them incubating in the basement somewhere...
Submitted by twosie on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 10:24am.
This article clearly shows that Brad and Angelina are down-to-earth, caring people. Most celebrities wouldn't be so generous to their fans.
It's a shame that some people don't realize how great Brad and Angelina are.
I realize how great they are . The problem with these negative posters is the jealousy of two perfect people with a great family .
****************************************
You get an A++!
You get to sit at the front of the class AND you get to be hall monitor! Good girl! *hands over official Key to the City*(or boy)
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
ELB! get the door, Krispy Kreme delivery!
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related
I love how these asshats are never subjected to spending time with more than a couple of kids at a time. Because that would be, you know... stressful or tiring. I wonder what the kids have to do to win the lottery of getting chosen for "parent time".
Can't stand these losers.
It's a shame that there are many people like you that buy into this bullshit.
Not as many as there were. Its been over 3 years and its still the same old stories. She faints, he worries, poor angie, humantarian, sexiest woman, blah blah blah.
Submitted by twosie on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 10:24am.
This article clearly shows that Brad and Angelina are down-to-earth, caring people. Most celebrities wouldn't be so generous to their fans.
It's a shame that some people don't realize how great Brad and Angelina are.
I realize how great they are . The problem with these negative posters is the jealousy of two perfect people with a great family .
These jellyposters dont even go shopping, they order their food on the net for delivery, the drivers have their door keys!! Its because they dont want to disturb all the cats / fried chicken / donuts / etc on their laps, also if they got up they'd probably have heart attacks . Its sad but true, i know cos i'm obese and i wouldnt chance it .
Team Brangelina4eva xxxxxxx
Fromwhat I understand US Weekly is in big trouble for stealing this story from a Brad Pitt fansite.
The pictures on pittwatch and JJ are great. Normal like everyone. It's been a while .
twosie> I hope you're being ironic.
Submitted by twosie on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 10:24am.
This article clearly shows that Brad and Angelina are down-to-earth, caring people. Most celebrities wouldn't be so generous to their fans.
It's a shame that some people don't realize how great Brad and Angelina are.
__________________________________________________
That's one take. Another take: This article clearly shows that Brad and Angelina are assholes who will do anything to generate column inches. Most celebrities wouldn't be so obvious.
It's a shame that some people don't realize how pathetic Brad and Angelina are.
The way MK depicted the kids scrounging for food and Zahara gettin' the mice with her eyes- HYSTERICAL!!!
That kid DOES give a mean-ass dirty look.
These asshats (and they chirrun) need to go away, please!
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
twosie, have you been to IanUnderCover.com? You could have a fucking blast fighting over there- give it a try! They DESPISE Brad and Angie over there!
*********************************************
“I don’t look like Halle Berry. But chances are, she’s going to end up looking like me.”
-Whoopi Goldberg
*sigh* I wish famewhoring was that easy for all of us...You know, my sales would be dropping and shit and I could just say: "You know - I think I'll take a trip to the grocery store - that'll set it straight!" *sigh*
♥ ThreadKilla!
With my super lawyer powers, I can rid our town of cats so our kids can NEVER get high again! Mr. Broflovski, South Park
A DListed Youtube Gallery
The Holy Family's PR is going in overdrive to counteract the breakup rumors. You know damn well they can get some lackey to do their grocery shopping for them. But it's nice to see St. Ange wear her skintight skirt and high heels to buy the TP and Cheetos.
Submitted by twosie on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 10:24am.
This article clearly shows that Brad and Angelina are down-to-earth, caring people. Most celebrities wouldn't be so generous to their fans.
It's a shame that some people don't realize how great Brad and Angelina are.
**************
Listen loonie bird, go back to JJ if you want to hang out with other delusional a**holes! We're not buying that "down to earth crap" over here.
What down to earth couple dresses in high heel boots, skin tight skirt and white blouse to go food shopping with 2 children under the age of 4?! One of those parents should be at home with the other 4 children not pushing the shopping cart so that the papz can get a nice photo op of the "normal family". Those children look pertrified! Brad looks like a tool. And why did Angie ho dress the girls in the dresses for a half an hours worth of food shopping? It's calleda planned photo op. If you can't see how staged this is then I feel sorry for you. It's a shame that there are many people like you that buy into this bullshit.
Submitted by twosie on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 10:24am.
****
I'm nice to people in the grocery store, too but you don't see me asking for a fucking cookie for it.
****
Okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly.
Stop and Shop is so expensive. They must place full price for the Cheetos for the kids. Must be nice to be so rich.
=========
Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 10:19am.
Top Stroy huh? Well, us Amercians have really out-dumbed ourselves if that is even possible.
*
that made me choke too. But note that it's a top story in US weekly - this is MK's world remember?
Whew!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
I could be like this really fancy ass upscale hooker for all you know. I could just have this job so I don't get arrested what the fuck would you know? - Frito
This article clearly shows that Brad and Angelina are down-to-earth, caring people. Most celebrities wouldn't be so generous to their fans.
It's a shame that some people don't realize how great Brad and Angelina are.
Top Stroy huh? Well, us Amercians have really out-dumbed ourselves if that is even possible. The day when celebrity trips to the grocery store or their reproductive cycle become "top Stories" that's when you know it'll be downhill from there.
------------------------
"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
The milk ain't clean with those bitches. There is one in particular, Irma, she sounds like she rubs her cooze to photo spreads of Brangelina; and then eats frosting right out of the container, while she pets her hundreds and hundreds of cats.
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so youre trying to say eating frosting right out of the can is bad? pooh on you! im sick of this anti-frosting propaganda! and i have 2 miniature schnauzers TYVM! lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I swear! Look it up online.
Next Up for Our Loving Family:
Bradley and Santa Angelina go for an enema.
Don't miss it.
please...these two grocery shop...not on planet earth..
_____________________________________________
you see me, bitch....
Submitted by K2 on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:14am.
Also, why do both of them have to go food shopping? Why doesn't brad stay home with the boys and the twins while Jolie take the girls. Why a joint venture when you have 4 other kids at home?? Yeah - this story reaks of desperation.
I ask myself that every time I see a couple out at 2am shopping with their 8-year-old. Why the fuck do they both have to shop?
----------------------------------------------------
My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
this shit would never happen at the ghetto Associated near where I live...jesus christ!
www.weekenddouche.blogspot.com
...and in a related story, my cat farted.
BFD.
----------------------------------------------------
My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Give me a break! Since when do these two go food shopping?! She's working 15 hour days and he's supposedly drunk in a corner watching the kids or flying off to be alone in France, but yet they can find time to go food shopping - together no less? LMAO! And don't forget to bring the kiddies along for good measure. I think they're trying to do damage control. Try and look like a normal family even though the rumors and stories of a split are at an all time high. And once again not a photo of this "happy functioning family" is available. No papz stalking the house? I do NOT believe it.
They could EASILY send a nanny, housekeeper, etc. to go food shopping for the family, while they actually spend time with all the kids as a family. So tired of them pretending to be NORMAL. When I see the photos of them walking out of Stop n Shop then I'll believe it! Also, why do both of them have to go food shopping? Why doesn't brad stay home with the boys and the twins while Jolie take the girls. Why a joint venture when you have 4 other kids at home?? Yeah - this story reaks of desperation.
We love everything about these two!
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://www.rantsthoughtsmerde.com/2009/04/jenna-dewan-virginal-in-white....
Maybe they’re planning on adopting the bag boy.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This place has got everything.
ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:06am
Don't eat the grey bread!
I would have rammed my cart accidentally into their car and accidentally left a note in lipstick on the windshield saying "BLESS THE JOLIE-PITTS PLEASE CALL ME! I KNOW YOU! I LOVE YOU! XOXOXOXOXO CLINIQUA"
Accidentally of course.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
"wait till you read the fan fiction at Just Jared.
there' some nutjob broad who writes scenes of the brangalina fucking each other in very great detail."
This is why I can't go to JJ. It makes me too sad that there are people like this in the world - and it scares me that some of these people are breeding!
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:01am.
Submitted by DonkeyPunched on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 8:56am.
wait till you read the fan fiction at Just Jared.
there' some nutjob broad who writes scenes of the brangalina fucking each other in very great detail.
where's Love Anderson? she knows.. it's disgusting.
I've seen it....I still shudder. I like how they make Janiston this old,chicken, slag who is lonely and sad. Talk about self-projection.
I guess it's important to let the little people see her highness from time to time. And ball-less just does what he's told.
My brain is meshing Brad Pitt with Peyton Manning in his commercial going "can you sign this bread for my little brother".
****
Okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly.