Blohan's Big Comeback!
I've made jokes about how Blohan will soon have to shake her freckled coke bag tittays for an 8-ball and now it looks like she actually might have to. Juggle them chichis for some sugar!
Over the weekend, Blohan went to the opening night of Peepshow, an ass and titty show in Las Vegas starring Scary Spice and Kelly Monaco. Fox News says Blohan was there to meet with the show's creator Jerry Mitchell about possibly replacing Kelly Monaco in three-months. One source said Blohan can't wait, because she really is a triple threat. She's a triple threat alright! Bitch is a master snorter, sucker and blower. Blohan thinks that doing the show will give her theater cred. Yeah, because learning how to do figure eights with nipple tassles while thrusting your pussay bone is really going to convince Broadway producers to cast her as Nora in A Doll's House. Stick that on your resume under "other talents."
The saddest and most hilarious part is that Blohan has to compete against Holly Madison and Brooke Burke for the role! That hurts like a dick after daggering. Next stop: pushing racks of clothes as an extra on The City!
You know, maybe this isn't such a bad idea. I mean, not only is Las Vegas the perfect place for a cokey-brained booze-slut, but one of my idols in life, Nomi Malone, went from truck stop prostitute to titty star and it worked out so well for her. Blohan is totally the new Nomi Malone! "Different places!"