Blohan's Big Comeback!
I've made jokes about how Blohan will soon have to shake her freckled coke bag tittays for an 8-ball and now it looks like she actually might have to. Juggle them chichis for some sugar!
Over the weekend, Blohan went to the opening night of Peepshow, an ass and titty show in Las Vegas starring Scary Spice and Kelly Monaco. Fox News says Blohan was there to meet with the show's creator Jerry Mitchell about possibly replacing Kelly Monaco in three-months. One source said Blohan can't wait, because she really is a triple threat. She's a triple threat alright! Bitch is a master snorter, sucker and blower. Blohan thinks that doing the show will give her theater cred. Yeah, because learning how to do figure eights with nipple tassles while thrusting your pussay bone is really going to convince Broadway producers to cast her as Nora in A Doll's House. Stick that on your resume under "other talents."
The saddest and most hilarious part is that Blohan has to compete against Holly Madison and Brooke Burke for the role! That hurts like a dick after daggering. Next stop: pushing racks of clothes as an extra on The City!
You know, maybe this isn't such a bad idea. I mean, not only is Las Vegas the perfect place for a cokey-brained booze-slut, but one of my idols in life, Nomi Malone, went from truck stop prostitute to titty star and it worked out so well for her. Blohan is totally the new Nomi Malone! "Different places!"
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I think I see Lindsey's new gal pal! Everyone knows Mel B plays with the girls in the back yard.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Scary Spice! I thought it was Basement Baby!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
WATCH THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNpPSUMqKA&feature=related
Teather cred? LOL Dancing on poles does not count as teather experience
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Didn't she already try the stripper stuff in a shitaceous movie that had a very short release and went into the DVD bargain bin?
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Shame.
Where would one get Mel B's shoes? They're lovely.
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
I'm sure Blohan will get it. Think about it: Who's the bigger draw? Some docile Valley of the Dolls look-alike or some batshit crazy drug addict who's totally unpredictable? Personally, I wouldn't go to see either of them, but people love train wrecks. Think about how we've all been wishing Shitney would break free from Papa & bring back the pink wig & the "British" accent!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
No way, the shoes should stay where they are. Scary Spice would look so bland and gross and matchy-matchy in head-to-toe beige, although Lindsay could get away with wearing the turquoise shoes with her dress.
Scary looks so weird in that picture, though. Is it just me or has she lost like, 50 pounds? She looks gaunt and...erm...scary, lol.
oh c'mon , more useless shit about more usless bitches!
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"I'm in the Dark here!!!"
She can still hope they do a Showgirls 2. Start practicing licking the pole...
What's most bothersome is I wish Linsday and Scary would switch shoes! Clearly the blue matches Linsday's whorebag outfit and the snakeskin matches Scary. Seriously, do I need to play stylist now??
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"Get up and see the sarcasm in my eyes..." -Robbie Williams
All that "research" Blohan did for I Know Who Killed Me is paying off!
Brooke Burke is out - she posted this:
Putting out lots of fires today. The Vegas opportunity is not happening. Sad. Hopefully another door will open. I believe in that.5:54 PM Apr 13th from Tweetie
So I guess it's between Holly Madison and Lindsay.
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http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/montag/
Submitted by Rishkin on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:46am.
Did you watch the videos...hahaha!..eew!
Holy crap!! Let's see, proms start in a month or so....
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:45am.
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I'd rather Blohan get no job at all.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
clearly lilo's career is taking a major dive...
i'm shocked lilo allowed herself to photo'd next to scary spice, what with her being black and all...
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you see me, bitch....
I just googled Brooke Burke and that chick is HOT. I don't see how Blohan or Holly Madison could compete with her.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:38am.
Make sure you read the daggering link, esply the quote from the Jamaican man. I doubt you can break your dick-bone unless it's hard.
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Did you watch the videos...hahaha!..eew!
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Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:42am.
Is that a goof? It reads like The Onion. I liked the "broken todger upswing" in the headline, too.
I would rather see Lohan than Holly Madison or Brooke Burke, mostly because Holly Madison is a talentless bowl of oatmeal and Brooke Burke, while having a hot body, is a bland bitch who has never done anything for me. Lindsay is what Vegas is truly about - boozing, chain-smoking, partying, and semi-public blowjobs. Plus, let's face it, this show is a step up for Holly and Brooke, while it would be a deliciously embarassing and public step down for everyone's favorite little "A-Lister," lol. She thought she was going to win an Oscar, and now she's shakin' it on stage for fat, middle-aged casino-hound boozebags. Team Lohan!
Oh, and A Doll's House is a shitty, shallow play. That is all.
How unexpected.
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My feelings are sensitive.
HAHA! Nomi Malone! Forgot all about her!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by Sheeps on Tue, 04/21/2009 - 9:38am.
Make sure you read the daggering link, esply the quote from the Jamaican man.
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HAHAHA!! "Mi bawl out fi di people dem hear mi. Di people dem seh mi mus hold on pan her, but she neva waan let mi go."
Blohan against Holly Madison? Forfuckinggetit. I mean guys, who would you rather see in a peep show, a curveless coke whore who looks like she's forty five or a much hotter playboy playmate type girl? Yeah, thought so. Holly Madison is a makeup hottie with big boobs, but asking whether someone would like her or Blohan is like asking someone if they would like to drive a brand new Ford Focus or an old Monte Carlo that falls apart when you open the door and leaks break fluid. You get my drift
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Make sure you read the daggering link, esply the quote from the Jamaican man. I doubt you can break your dick-bone unless it's hard.
LMFAO. Dancing with the Hasbeens wouldn't touch her ass with a 10 foot pole now.
Next stop: Rock of Love!
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
and by triple threat you would mean can't sing, dance or act correct? my coked out tranvestite friend who gives bjs down by the meat packing district is more professional than this bitch is and , who the hell would hire her?
www.weekenddouche.blogspot.com
Well who didn't see this coming?