Someone's Getting A $28 Million AMEX Bill In The Mail....
....and that someone is also holding the master key to Solange's basement door. Daddy Knowles step up to the podium and take your bow! Thanks to your furious buying of every available movie ticket to Obsessed, Beyonce's shit flick was #1 at the box office with $28.5 million in sales! That shit is nothing but a drop in the basement for the Knowles family. Daddy Knowles just took it out of Beyonce's monthly wig allowance.
Obsessed is the seventh-best opening ever for the month of April.
If you ask me, it would've done better if they would've gone with their original title OH NO SHE DIDN'T. I am not lie-telling, that really was the original title and it makes more sense. I am ashamed to admit that I dropped down 12 dollars to see this wreck yesterday. I didn't even sneak in. I paid actual money! If I wasn't flying high on a green cloud, I would've walked out of that mess and straight into Fighting to see some half-nekkid Carol Channing Tatum or whatever the hell his name is.
If you're planning to see Beyonce's ode to caca, then I suggest you slide in 20-minutes before the movie ends. That's when the catfight scene goes down and it's the only semi-entertaining part of that shit. Mostly because you'll sit there wondering why Beyonce's weave isn't flying across the room after Ali Larter is yanking on it. It's impressive. They probably kept it down with "I'll Show You KRAZY Glue." Beyonce should market that shit.
Here's how the rest of the weekend's box office went down:
1. Obsessed - $28.5 million
2. 17 Again - $11.7 million
3. Fighting - $11.4 million
4. The Soloist - $9.7 million
5. Earth - $8.5 million
6. Monster Vs. Aliens - $8.5 million
7. State of Play - $6.9 million
8. Hannah Montana - $6.4 million
9. Fast and Furious - $6.1 million
10. Crank: High Voltage - $2.4 million
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She is such a cuttie.I saw her photos at billlionaire personals site________A f f l u e n t B a c h e l o r s . c o m______ last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.
jeeeeezus. fuck. Are you serious? This looked like the dumbest movie ever. Someone just push the button now. There is nothing left. We're all a bunch of retards.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 9:55am.
Chickenhead: If you're lucky and the stars are aligned just right, you get an audience that makes a bad movie fun.
So true. We were going to go to Times Square, which would have been out of control, but chose Union Square instead where the blend was awesome. I wish there would have been a drag queen doing commentary during the whole film. Seriously, the gays are going to continue making this film at the top because all of my friends can't wait to see it.
I was willing to drink one less Tom Collins (recession budget must-have) in the celebration of Beyonce. And yes, the credit song is totally a Beyonce song. The young gays in front of me said, "aw hells no, that bitch can't make one movie without sticking her stank in it."
BREATHE BITCH!
this top 10 box office list only furthers my theory that the "teens on a date" are the only people that can be suckered into paying 12bux to sit in a pile of sticky coke syrup while watching rats run across your feet , surrounded by blabbermouthin text msg addicts who think bringing 2 toddlers to a 10pm screening of an adult themed movie is a good idea.
and why does Hollywood insist on releasing Shitastic rehashed mess 10 months outta the year and then every "Oscar contender" film is simultaneously debut'd @ years end???
Seriously that top 10 looks like the torture list @ Guantanomo Bay.. every one of them seems like absolute misery to even try to sit thru, green cloud be damned MK...
"God's gonna get you for that Walter.." -Maude Finlay..
We saw "Monsters vs. Aliens" Saturday night. It was pretty cute, and had the added appeal of Hugh Laurie doing one of the voices (although Reese Witherspoon bordered on annoyingly whiny as "Ginormica").
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
get your fill of this crap for free.99..
THATS RIGHT!! F-R-E-E..99
http://www.watch-movies-links.net/movies/obsessed/
If it holds up next week and not drop off 75%, I MIGHT give Beyonce a pass. But let's get serious here. They kept this movie at PG-13 so delusional tweens that are in love with Bouncy would buy up movie tickets.
'Fatal Distraction' should have been the name of this movie.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 9:39am.
DListed: The Movie would be awesome! LOL
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WWBKD? (Who Would Brian Kinney Do?)
its not like she had a lot of competition. and 28 million is flopttastic in hollywood standards. and the movie itself cost 20 million dollars to make. so...
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Isn't it Bromantic?
Submitted by mharker on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 12:27pm.
The diversity of people in the subway stations who say "I want to see that movie!" upon passing the poster is amazing. Some think it looks like a genuinely good movie, others just want to see it because it looks campy. Some love Beyonce, others want to make fun of her...it has a surprisingly broad appeal.
------- Did you stand next to the posters collecting data? wtf
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WOA four sacagaweas? Whered you get THAT??!!
...the post office
my MOM was driving all over Long Bitch Saturday night trying to get tickets to see that movie... All I kept thinking is, what the fuck for?
Don't love me like you do.
I don't Daddy Knowles had to do too much ticket-buying. The diversity of people in the subway stations who say "I want to see that movie!" upon passing the poster is amazing. Some think it looks like a genuinely good movie, others just want to see it because it looks campy. Some love Beyonce, others want to make fun of her...it has a surprisingly broad appeal.
LOL @ the headline! Please tell me you didn't pay to see this movie? It's available on the 'net for free :-). I have a free download and I still can't bring myself to watch it. Beyonce awful actress, I dare say, worse than Paris Hilton.
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"I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday through Friday plane".
edited version of 'Snakes on a Plane' by Samuel L. Jackson
"You think yo crazy?! I'll sho you crazy!"
Out of all that mess the only one I'd like to watch is Monsters vs. Aliens :þ
WTF?
Didn't fast and furious come out like fucking 10 years ago or something...? And WTF? That piece of shit movie is leading at the box-office? I will say that I was looking at some opening stats over the past couple years, recently, and those numbers are pathetic all the way through, actually...that's something positive!:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Submitted by putas on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 11:13am.
Nice line up. I just rented 'Idiocracy' . That is our society right now, not the future.
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Afuckingmen to that.
man, what a pathetic lineup of rotten movies
exception: soloist
.
Submitted by vegaschick on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:57am.
I went and saw it last weekend. The theater was filled with black women cheering that a white girl was getting beat up. Too bad all of them were fat and manless.
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Fat and manless inspires jealousy in all races!
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When incorporating food into sex, hindsight is 20/20.
People actually paid opening weekend prices to see this mess? This is what the fuck is wrong with our economy!
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Submitted by vegaschick on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:57am.
Too bad all of them were fat and manless.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I bet they had a lot of muffintops, too.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Oh No She Didn't must be a hoot to watch while drunk/high. Just scream out the best lines "She was naked in yo' bed!"
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I'm pinching yo nipples.
Nice line up. I just rented 'Idiocracy' . That is our society right now, not the future.
Still not going to see it.
Shit, I'll pay to go see fucking Hannah Montana before anything Bouncy is in!
Wow I can't wait for the other singer turned actress movie to come out. Mariah Carey's movie comes out in a few weeks. Her movie Tennessee is actually getting awards buzz. LOL Beyonce is gonna get jjjeeelluusss
vegaschick : I'm not suprised, that's entirely the purpose of why this movie was made.
I love your puppy!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"Liberache, Versace, Coocarachi"
I went and saw it last weekend. The theater was filled with black women cheering that a white girl was getting beat up. Too bad all of them were fat and manless.
On another note Matthew Knowles needs to get Beyonce some speech lessons to lose that country accent. She talks like a retard.
everyone is asking why people went to see this. i think its because people wanna laugh and judge beyonce's acting skills, me included. i also have a crush on idris elba.
There was a study that showed Beyonce's and Lil wayne fans score the lowest in a series of test that show their IQ. That means Beyonce's fans are very dumb. So this shitty movie was perfect for its audience, crap that makes for mindless entertainment. And voilá you got a number 1 movie just like that!
Submitted by MJF on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 9:34am.
Sugaroo - Was RDJ awesome in it too? I'm going to see it this week. Ditto the sentiment about Jamie Foxx. He's like Russel Crowe in that respect. I love to watch them act, but they're both douches in real-life.
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Yes, he was. You mark my words. One say someone will make a movie about RDJ's life all the way up to the Oscar he'll win for this one!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
The working title: "OH NO SHE DIDN'T" should tell you everything you need to know about Obsessed. What garbage.
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"YOU IGNORANT FECAL MIST-SPRAYING WINDOW-LICKING CHUNKY USED TAMPON WEARING FISH-FACED DAUGHTER OF A TWO-HEADED STREETWALKING HOOKER SLUT WHORE! " Stoney 4/22/09
If I want to see ghetto trash I will go down to south Dallas. Why would someone pay money to see this!
I honestly cannot believe that anyone went to see this, let alone enough people to make it #1 at the box office. It's a film that's been done 10,000 times already, only this time it includes a wanna-be actress & that chick from the Final Destination movies.
The American people must be really fucking desperate for entertainment.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 10:20am
I don't know some of those women are idiots. The one's that get off, that blatantly kill their husbands and b some miracle are found not guilty, I can give them their props, but like the one woman who ran her husband over like 5 times and then claimed it was a speed bump? And with a witness in the car? Please watch some "The Practice" and old court tv to know how that shit is done. No witnesses!
i went to see this, snuck in and had 2 sit at the very front which made beyonce's lacefront really obvious to me. the theater was packed and everyone was laughing and having a good time. one guy shouted out "to the left, to the left" during one scene lol. i actually thought the movie was good up until a certain point and then it got kinda lame. and some parts didn't make sense like what happen to ben, he coulda helped his boy derek out. if u saw it u know what i'm talking about. i thought that was bad writing.
i also thought beyonce's acting was good up until she tried to get badass and started cursing. it just wasn't believable to me. my brother asked me if there were any scenes of beyonce fucking or in a thong and i told him it was pg-13, he said she ought to be shot in the face lmao. its true though, this type of movie should be rated r. i think that would've made it better. overall i give it a c+.
Serves your ass right! I will wait for it on bootleg if anything & still would haggle over the price... Horse headed Beyonce is not worth the price of admission.
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://rantsthoughtsmerde.blogspot.com
I will wait when it premieres on the Oxygen channel. I'd see it after the marathon of "Snapped" I just love that show of women killers. Some gals are really very clever in killing their spouses.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
U TWOCHED MY CHILD
bitch needs vocab lessons.
There's only one reigning obsession movie and one alone: Fatal Attraction. Take notes bitches cause this is how it's done.
oh..and you know the movie's a turd when there's no critic pre screening. This will not even appear in the top ten next week. mark my words.
hahahahahaha, a sexy woman want to find a young man to date. She put her profile and blogs on ****Sugar Momma Cupid.******COM ****. I really want to ask whether she found her soulmate there. She puts so many hot pics there.
Is she singing in this one too?.
Don't you people like fun/action pics?. Crank was awesome. What's it doing at the bottom?
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"Dying is only worth it, if you have something to live for..."
It only performed well because all the other movie were shit. What posseses someone in this economy to spend $10 bucks on shitty movies, that they know are going to be shit, I'll never know. Sheep.
I've heard a few people say this movie is pretty good and that Beyonce acts well in it..I'll wait to see it on TBS, or Fox.
Chickenhead: If you're lucky and the stars are aligned just right, you get an audience that makes a bad movie fun.
Back in the day, there used to be this theater on 86th Street with a smoking section in the balcony and my friend and I would go and get contact high from the homies smoking pot and laugh at the stuff they'd yell at the screen. We'd never see a movie we really WANTED to see, but if it was something dumb like this, it was awesome.
"You touched...my chile!" was all I needed to see in the previews to realize this movie was about Sasha Fierce getting her ghetto on.
hahahahahaha, a sexy woman want to find a young man to date. She put her profile and blogs on ****Sugar Momma Cupid.******COM ****. I really want to ask whether she found her soulmate there. She puts so many hot pics there.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Mon, 04/27/2009 - 9:39am.
We should just make DLISTED: The Movie, bunch of skanks and ho's boot movin' and monkey fightin' and Smell Yo Dick as the sound track...
It would sweep the Oscar's.
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Hahahaha! Can I play the "stoner" role? I was born to play that part.
i proudly bought tix. it was so much fun, but only if you have a really interactive audience. everyone laughed and screamed at the screen throughout and i can only imagine what a mess the premiere was. did people oooo and ahhh and try to hold their shit together? anyways, loved that piece of trash, even though it was not intended to be a comedy parts of it delivered. favorites, the husband crying; the od scene where he screams, "breathe bitch!"; and the awakening from the "dead" by ali. truly brilliant overacting.
and i think i already saw the foxx movie and it was called ray. he's only good at playing blind.
Aside from MK, who has to see this movie as part of his job...anyone ELSE that saw this trash should eb shot, THEN stabbed.
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
With the exception of Earth & possibly the Soloist, look at the SHIT FOR MOVIES out right now.
We should just make DLISTED: The Movie, bunch of skanks and ho's boot movin' and monkey fightin' and Smell Yo Dick as the sound track...
It would sweep the Oscar's.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!