Needed More Of The F-Word
There's always got to be a drunk ass foul-mouthed bitch at every party and at last night's tribute to Tom Hanks by the Film Society of Lincoln Center, Julia Roberts was that ho. Everyone embrace a fellow drunktardian into our club.
When it was Julia's turn to speak about Tom, she loaded her cannon with fuck bombs and aimed it at the audience. Julia's speech sounds like gorgeous music to my ears: (read it in a slurry, burpy voice) "Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita, and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck?"
Julia the went on to talk about Tom's illustrous film career, "I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom [in 2004's Ladykillers], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! "You in the airport with the accent (she's talking about Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you."
Before falling off the edge of the stage in a drunken stupor, Julia told the audience, "It's so dark out there, I feel like I’m in space. Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams, are you here?"
Julia Roberts is awesome for that. When did Julia Roberts become my auntie giving an impromptu speech about how much she loves her pet ferrett at Thanksgiving dinner after downing a whole box of Franzia? I don't know if that made any sense, because I think I got contact drunk after reading Julia's rant.
You know that after she got home, she crawled into bed with her kids and practically suffocated them with her hot booze bref kisses! She slobbered on them and said, "I luuuuvz youuuz sooo soo mu-uuuch." I used to love when my mom did that.
Seriously, Julia needs to do shit like this more often!
UPDATE: And here's the video!
Here's some of the hos who got to witness Julia's ridiculousness last night.
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I CAN NOT stand this skank. She needs a big heaping helping of STFU.
i can't stand this bitch. she's a spoiled little husband-stealing rat ass with zero talent and less integrity
a-low-low level of vera--isimilitude
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Julia who??? I want to know what Christopher Walken had to say.
Submitted by mharker on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 1:43pm.
Flatlined.
God! I guess you can take the gal out of the trailer trash but you can't take the trailer trash out of the gal!
Julia, you were on the wrong show. The roast is on comedy central you dumb bitch.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Christopher Walken is the new Vincent Price.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
Like they say.. there is a place and time for everything. Acting like this in public, not very classy but it is Hollywood.
Holy hell! Christopher Walken!
More like, Christopher Walken-dead!!!
*ba-doom-ching*
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Douchechill!
Oh my. Who the hell dug up Christopher Walken from his grave? And more to the point, WHY?
Now I'm scared.
Julia is firmly back in the good books.
Swearing is perfectly acceptable at the right time.
I will let Stephen Fry explain..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_osQvkeNRM
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by TheDrizzle on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 1:43pm.
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I've heard similar stories from friends of mine who work in showbiz. One guy I know is a camera man and he said hands down, she is the biggest bitch he ever worked with and he's been in the biz for over 20 years.
I have never actually heard a good thing about her from anyone who ever had the misfortune of meeting and working with her.
She is nasty. From two friends who worked with her: She uses the C-word constantly and was fond of calling her now husband's ex-wife (his wife at that time when Julia was cheating with him) a "c-u-n-t" openly around anyone who would listen. Such a class act. I have always loathed her and think she's completely one-note in her performances as well as total nut-job. And, she has the worst taste when it comes to selecting movies. Oh, for the crap she's been in. "I Love Trouble"? What the f*cuk was that? And, I honestly wanted to commit a crime over the conceit of Julia playing herself in "Ocean's 12".
Christopher Walken, now there's a piece of goth ass, if I've ever seen it. I love this man, even in the worst movie he ever made - "McBain" from 1991; a totally ridiculous covert opp B movie with Maria Conchita Alonso and Michael Ironside. I've always wondered if "The Simpson's" took Werner Wolfcastle's "McBain" from this flick.
The Boniva is clearly working for Sally Field.
I'm a huge Walken fan, but to be fair, he's looked like that ever since the final scene of The Deer Hunter.
*pulls up granny pants and repositions cushion in chair* I remember back in the day when Julia Roberts was considered the best and highest paid actress! Now it's like Cameron Diaz, or someone rediculous. WTF, it just all goes downhill, I guess.
LMFAO! Srsly, all her interviews are laden with the f-bomb. She's like Jenny McCarthy that way, but fake. I'm not a huge fan of what she calls acting, but some of her movies are passable. You know this rant is the only reason to watch another yawn-fest of actors toasting each other over how fucking great they are.
You work, Julia. You bring that boozy ass to my house and I'll fix you whatever cocktail you want, and then your hubby can come in my mouth so he doesn't soil your precious larynx.
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"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~ Cordelia Chase
Oh pleeze - everything Julia does is an act. In her mind if she acts drunk and silly, then regular people will like her. Nice try. Try again. She has to do a LOT better than that to gain any respect from me.
Never could stand her, as she's just another overrated actress. Besides, Julia looks ridiculous with blond hair and brown eyes.
To whoever here said Eric is the one in the family with looks and talent - Yes!!
I am loving Christopher Walken's new hairdo... it's incredible! I love that guy.
Christopher Walken is 66 years old. He's supposed to look like that. Although, for 66, I think he looks alright.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
Walken looks like he stepped out of a sarcophagus...is he shooting the sequel to Sleepy Hollow because that is some Halloween mask shit right there.
Did Julia and Tom ever did a movie together? I can't remember and I ain't googling that.
"Vamos a singar" - Toothless Dominican Prostitute
Duplicity was worthwhile only for the smoking hot Clive Owen. He could have been acting opposite a fence post....wait....
Please just stay in New Mexico with your cameraman husband and your 3 children. The world does not need more Julia Roberts. Not because she's "old" or "unattractive" but because she's annoying and not very talented.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. —Groucho Marx
Classy.
Not.
Julia Roberts looks like she has permanent halitosis.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Walken looks like Death on a bad day.
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What don't you fuckin' understand???- Christian Bale
I hear she refuses to let her husband cum in her mouth. Screw her.
Submitted by Nanners on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:45pm.
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What she really ment is that she has to run home in case her husband is in bed with the babysitter.
BAWHAHHAHAAA HA HA ..
Thanks for laugh Nanners ...
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Submitted by Salem13 on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 1:12pm.
No, she was presenting an award. She got a Best Actress Oscar but didn't even come close to a Tony.
America's Sweetheart, indeed. We need less of her.
And O.M.G. Christopher Walken looks necrotic!!!!!!!!!
Check out this gif and LYAO. sorry for the super-long url. it's the only way i could get it:
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.killsometime.com/Illus...
Use to be a Julia fan............not anymore! Didn't her last movie bomb? Hope so!
That was the kind of rambling that only comes out of a junkie or a drunkard and it's sad. I like Tom Hanks too. I think it's because I don't read about him on the tabloids, so I have no clue what the hell goes on in his private life... and I don't care either way. I like his acting skills and that's it.
As for Julia Roberts, well I never saw her as a good or even decent actress so she can act as drunkenly annoying as she wants. But I will say this, if the didn't get the point of the Terminal movie, then she has the brain of a mosquito. Lady Killers is all about dark humor, so maybe she didn't get the point either.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
salem: She was a presenter. She was not even nominated for "Three Days of Rain."
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Never been a fan of Julia.
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
Submitted by mharker on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 1:09pm.
Julia fuckin Roberts won a Tony?!
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No-one can give me the air that's mine to breathe.
That tops Mickey Rourke's speech at whatever award ceremony that was. With him, it wasn't a huge surprise, but with "America's Sweetheart", well...go Julia. This is the second time I've liked her.
The first was her awkward appearance at the Tony awards after her horrendous performance (judging from the reviews, anyway) in that play. It must have been weird to be in a room full of people who don't worship her, but it made her come across as humble and kind of sweet.
she was probably the most entertaining part that night...
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/teacups-and-couture/
She is very overrated as an actor.
I hate ole piano mouth.
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Fucka doodle-do.
where's the tape??
Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:53pm.
Eric Roberts got ALL the looks and talent that family.
YES! I got to see him star in "Burn This" on Broadway years ago. Absolutely amazing!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Sounds hilarious to me. I think every event, whether intended to be or not, should be turned into a roast. Good for Julia.
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Did somebody say PCP? I LOOOVES THE PEACEY P!!
Submitted by coca on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:48pm.
Did Totie Fields leave Rita Wilson that dress in her will?
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hahahahaha
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Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:33pm.
I'd still love to know how this husband-stealing, rub-it-in-your-face, foul-mouthed mediocre (at best) actress became "America's Sweetheart"!
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You and me both. She plays the same character in every movie she does. Except that nightmare "Mary Reilly". Her shitty Irish accent will make you violently ill.
Eric Roberts got ALL the looks and talent that family.
Submitted by Possum on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:47pm.
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That's why she lives in Taos. So she can do horsey-times all the time.
Hilarious. I think she looks awesome. Did someone give her a big hot steaming cup of STFU the next morning?
And, as always, MK's intro's are Nobel prize worthy for anything but peace. LOL!!!
Did Totie Fields leave Rita Wilson that dress in her will?
yep, def like her more now!
I hate this selfish dumb horseface ho!
Hahahahahaha, wish I was there.
Does anyone have the audio? Please????
This is better than the Christian Bale rant...
Wow, Julia has jumped the shark... again.
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What don't you fuckin' understand???- Christian Bale
Submitted by _meh_ on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 12:43pm.
she is paying her babysitter overtime
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What she really ment is that she has to run home in case her husband is in bed with the babysitter.
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I'm pinching yo nipples.
Way to make a complete ass of herself.
I think she had to have been drunk when she got dressed. Pretty dress, nice shoes and match it up with an everyday sweater that has pulls on it.
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