Needed More Of The F-Word
There's always got to be a drunk ass foul-mouthed bitch at every party and at last night's tribute to Tom Hanks by the Film Society of Lincoln Center, Julia Roberts was that ho. Everyone embrace a fellow drunktardian into our club.
When it was Julia's turn to speak about Tom, she loaded her cannon with fuck bombs and aimed it at the audience. Julia's speech sounds like gorgeous music to my ears: (read it in a slurry, burpy voice) "Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita, and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck?"
Julia the went on to talk about Tom's illustrous film career, "I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom [in 2004's Ladykillers], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! "You in the airport with the accent (she's talking about Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you."
Before falling off the edge of the stage in a drunken stupor, Julia told the audience, "It's so dark out there, I feel like I’m in space. Thank you, whoever just made it light. J.J. Abrams, are you here?"
Julia Roberts is awesome for that. When did Julia Roberts become my auntie giving an impromptu speech about how much she loves her pet ferrett at Thanksgiving dinner after downing a whole box of Franzia? I don't know if that made any sense, because I think I got contact drunk after reading Julia's rant.
You know that after she got home, she crawled into bed with her kids and practically suffocated them with her hot booze bref kisses! She slobbered on them and said, "I luuuuvz youuuz sooo soo mu-uuuch." I used to love when my mom did that.
Seriously, Julia needs to do shit like this more often!
UPDATE: And here's the video!
Here's some of the hos who got to witness Julia's ridiculousness last night.
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"she crawled into bed with her kids and practically suffocated them with her hot booze bref kisses! She slobbered on them and said, 'I luuuuvz youuuz sooo soo mu-uuuch.'"
lol - I did that to my kid last night after downing 3 cocktails.
*****
"I RIDE ANYTHING I GET!"
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
~cheetos & frapp~
ok where's the video of this? I seriously need to see it.
She prolly woke up this a.m. with that sinking feeling in her gut, plus needed to puke her guts out.
I call bullshit. Horseface doesn't have the personality to get tanked & deliver a fuck-fuck-fuckety-fuck filled speech like that.
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
she is paying her babysitter overtime... bitch you are A MILLIONAIRE. don't even.
How long has Christopher Walken been dead? ZOMBIE!
Hopefully she went home and blacked out the incident. Probably woke up with a monster headache, the voms, thinking "what did I say?"
Ah, we've all been there. I am a terror with drunk emails.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
and btw, the hottest thing was not julia's drunken horseface f bomb attacks...it is christopher walken as the cryptkeeper..totally hot...
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you see me, bitch....
I, too get drunk and talk about my need to pee. Welcome Julia, the bathroom is behind that tree.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
That still doesn't stop her from being a FUCKING BITCH FACED CUNT.
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No-one can give me the air that's mine to breathe.
Get the fuck outta here! I hope somebody taped that event.
i think i don't hate this cow as much...i wish i was there to see this unfolding...
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you see me, bitch....
I... I think I like her now!
I CAN'T FUCKING STAND THIS cunt
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
The best parties I ever went to were full of drunk asses who were so trashed the f bomb was the only word they could form...good old vodka/puke infused memories right that ya'll.
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"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
-Anonymous
Christopher Walken is, as always, the hottest bitch at this event.
emlarue
http://iminparentheses.blogspot.com/
What the fuck? That's too fucking much! Good job fucking Julia!
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"I'm in the Dark here!!!"
Sally is there- where's Shirley MacLaine? Get Ouiser in there to slap a ho!
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Okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly.
I'd still love to know how this husband-stealing, rub-it-in-your-face, foul-mouthed mediocre (at best) actress became "America's Sweetheart"!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Couldn't happen to a better cunt.
And, amazingly, it was all her own fault! She's got nobody to blame but herself!
THAT is hotness.
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"YOU IGNORANT FECAL MIST-SPRAYING WINDOW-LICKING CHUNKY USED TAMPON WEARING FISH-FACED DAUGHTER OF A TWO-HEADED STREETWALKING HOOKER SLUT WHORE! " Stoney 4/22/09
FUCK YEAH!
Somebody's tired of being America's sweetheart. Or maybe she's realizing that she's too old for that shit and Anne Hathaway is taking her place.
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I'm pinching yo nipples.
oh please... she just fucking says it like it fucking is! hahahahaha!!!! yahoo... ;P
Charlize looks fab - as usual!!! So hot!!!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Sally Field looks amazing. Poor Christopher Walken looks like he IS the "Dead Zone", Charlize Theron looks lovely, and Adrian Brody-*swoon".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
i think i like her a little more now.
Hopefully she'll be embarassed about this later.
I do like her hair that color.
How embarrassing.
She is a FUCKING idiot!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............