Vomit Inducing Quotes Of The Day
WARNING: This may cause your eyeballs to roll our of their sockets, so hold them down as you read on.
Brangelina has left the townspeople of Oyster Bay, Long Island spellbound by their fantastical beauty. The holy family has invaded the town like a herd of mythical unicorns while St. Angie films a movie. Their presence has caused the town to practically shut down so everyone has a chance to marvel at the two pieces of spectacular art. Read these quotes and you'll know what I'm talking about. Again, hold your eyeballs and keep a barf bag close.
"When you talk to someone who has met them they're kind of glowing. People love saying they saw them. They feel something very special happened to them." - The Oyster Bay Town Supervisor"They looked out of place because they were so beautiful. They looked like they were airbrushed when they were walking. I went up to Brad and asked if he needed help and he said, 'No thanks.' I was looking at him but I don't really remember it – it was like a dream." - Katherine Pastore, a manager at Stop & Shop
"She was in my aisle and everyone was kind of looking at her or going up to her. She looked great. She had on these leggings and sunglasses and signed a few autographs." - a local resident
That shit sounds like it was ripped from a Brangaloonie message board. It's not like they came into close contact with Rojo Caliente or anything. Really, contrary to popular belief, they can't bless you or heal all your ailments by touching you on the forehead. I'm surprised none of their hearts stopped beating from being exposed to that level of grace and exquisiteness.
The people of Oyster Bay should stay inside, because Brangelina's heavenly glow makes everyone FUCKING DUMB AND DELUSIONAL (example: read the quotes above again). Actually, Brangelina should have to stay inside, because they are a health hazard!
VIA People
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Its really great your help.
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betsson
Ok Michael K,
I love you but, I have waited on Brad in retail, and he really does "glow" no shit, its the damnedest thing.
He does not seem too bright, but he is very sweet, that Angie should be lynched if she ever hurts him!
Airbrushed celebrities are SOOO 2008.
Dlisted makes my nipples hard. it's true.
:)
~Zoe
http://www.myspace.com/misszoesimone
Submitted by bhols on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:58am.
I used to work in Oyster Bay, handing out their prescriptions at the local CVS and I can tell you they are a bunch of certifiable, bat shit crazy bitches in that town. The prescriptions were alwyas things like prozac, adderall, klonopin, xanax, zoloft and ritalin all day long.
Cannot quite believe that Brangelina are trashy enough to shop at the local Stop and Vomit in that town. You'd think people who're supposedly as 'cultured' as those 2 would have walked in only to turn around and walk right out! It has to be seen to be believed. Grimey and smelly describe it perfectly. Possibly the worst supermarket I've ever been to. Whole Foods is only a 15 minute drive away, why not go there?
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I guess Whole Foods is not desperate for publicity of that kind. Stop and Vomit mamagers/ owners must need money hence the deal with Angie Ho &co.
I used to work in Oyster Bay, handing out their prescriptions at the local CVS and I can tell you they are a bunch of certifiable, bat shit crazy bitches in that town. The prescriptions were alwyas things like prozac, adderall, klonopin, xanax, zoloft and ritalin all day long.
Cannot quite believe that Brangelina are trashy enough to shop at the local Stop and Vomit in that town. You'd think people who're supposedly as 'cultured' as those 2 would have walked in only to turn around and walk right out! It has to be seen to be believed. Grimey and smelly describe it perfectly. Possibly the worst supermarket I've ever been to. Whole Foods is only a 15 minute drive away, why not go there?
i gather the peeps from oyster bay dont get out much
Dating with rich people, find my love. My dream have been true on the hottest dating palce...mil lion airec hats.com...where you have the opportunity to make friends and chat with a millionaire or hot girl ,supermodels and so on.First i can't believe,then i sign up there.I found celebrities' profile with sexy photos and newest blogs there. you can know more about them. By the way I really got many friends including celebrities.it's so exciting.
I sometimes wonder why I hate her so much. Then I see a picture of her smirking and my urge to punch her repeatedly in the face is renewed.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 6:53pm.
Ya, even the ones with an abnormal amount of hatred towards them know Ian is talking out his ass. I sometimes wonder if its all some kind of joke to him too. If he is the two commenter's that think they know everything and the guest bloggers too, all from his double wide somewhere.
lindalou - I think most people (even those who dislike these two) know IUC seems to talk out of his ass.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
DISGUSTING!!!!!! "Oh a halo surrounded them and they were glowing." PUKE. People are so so pathetic. Seriously. Worshiping other people for NO REASON is beyond me. I mean I dont even worship people that ought to be worshipped (prophets, so-called messiahes etc)., and these people have picked this one couple that is looking really good becasue of all their wealth and money, and has made them into gods. Shit. How sad. These are just human beings who happen to be prettier because of the money they got. Urgh...
----------------"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by gossiplover on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 2:45pm.
Brad and Angie??? Come on they are not Flight of the Conchords, people get your hero worshiping straight ok
woaaah i may be too lazy to check if fotc were actually compared or talked about in this post but holy monkeyfightingpoop did somebody really compare them or how the hell did this get written?
please no tainting of pure sexy genius with these two whoreboards!
for about 4 seconds i fought looking over to JJ to see if theses are actual loonie quotes but...well we all know it is a very very muchos lost cause with those ones
According to IUC this is not possible, therefor an elaborate hoax. AJ and BP are broken up, she is on several drugs and he is back with JA.
Submitted by de Cosmos on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 3:04pm.
See 'irma' #642 to #645
Thanks! I would hate for her sage advice to be lost and you are to be commended for finding it.I am still too scared to look!
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
See 'irma' #642 to #645
"God bless the Jolie-Pitt’s"
God bless us, every one!
Ahhhh....it made me glow just reading how these people glowed in their presence as told by someone who wasn't there either.
And then he said to me 'No thanks' and I glowed...
I just recalled the Kate Kretz painting of an apparition of Saint Angelina and brats in a Wal-Mart:
BLESSED ART THOU
Brad and Angie??? Come on they are not Flight of the Conchords, people get your hero worshiping straight ok
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:20am.
Image there's Madge there, standing in front of you. What do you do?
Is the Brazilian there too? Because I have two completely different answers.
GOD! One appearance by Their Holinesses and everyone creams themselves? Give me a fuckin break. Sure, I'd be excited to meet a celeb with actual TALENT. The dump I took this morning has more personality than these two.
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Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 1:45pm.
lizzeb - how can it be deleted?
That it's not there is all that I know. So a JJ-er giving health advice about swine fever and thanking god for caring for the Jolie Pitts and THEIR FANS is lost for ever. Sad.I daren't peek at JJ in case they are lynching me.I'm too tired to sing 'Miss Otis Regrets'
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Wow, lizzie - this new fascist regime is pretty funnay!
I was afraid someone might think I was talking about Angie but I was, really for real, talking about pig farmers....I'm waiting for open post now, tho - it's too skeery here!
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 1:38pm.
We see that kind of behavior all summer long. This town is a "summer" town and Lord, the self-absorbed assholes that come here are unreal.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
lizzeb - how can it be deleted? angel_i's post was as well!!! Are we turning into JJ over here?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:08am.
My post got deleted - is it a no-no to ask questions about pig farmers?
And JJ-ers and god it seems. Feel let down some how. Seems there is something sacred after all. Sowwy.
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
I can't imagine what reading shit like those quotes does to Mr. and Mrs. Famewhore's already massive egos. Ugh!
Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 10:49am.
lizzieb - you always find the best JJ gems.
But it's been deleted! Deleted I tell you. Did the JJ-er come here, saw her words posted in all their glory and REPORT ME? Can we not makes jokes about swine fever, loons and God now? What is going on?
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
"That shit sounds like it was ripped from a Brangaloonie message board. It's not like they came into close contact with Rojo Caliente or anything."
This is why I read and keep coming back to Michael K.
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@Sugaroo:
Well, there you go! I even see Brangeloonies in the rich communities here. It is the sadness, lemme tell you becuz - basically, they set the bar for those people. And you can see, in every situation, how they strive to reach Holy Family status in the same exact fake-ass selfish ways. It's really gross.
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
Oyster Bay is on Long Island's Gold Coast. Wealthy but not snobby like a lot of towns on the East End.
And if those quotes are anything representative of the people who live there, rich DEFINITELY does not equal SMART.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
And um...do these people ever just go home and BE?! We are human beings, you know...not human doings.
Just sayin'
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
To quote the great Jack Napier: "This town needs an enema!"
So THIS is the town that's so stupefied by Brangelina...
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2232/2542706314_823b647744.jpg
Are we really THAT fucking surprised?
That's what hicks are FOR!
And *ahem*!!!!
I did notice, while searching that a GREAT MANY people have some interesting property for sale there!
http://www.therealestatebloggers.com/images/rupert_murdoch_Long_Island_e...
http://weblogs.newsday.com/realestate/blog/northwood.jpg
It's pretty there! It looks like Canada!
♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery
these Oyster people are pathetic.I'd never go googoo over a fucking celeb like that.okay maybe johnny Depp, but that's it. Brad and skeletorina ain't as good lookin' as they use to be anyways.
Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 12:59pm.
They looked out of place because they were so beautiful? LOL! Must be on Brangelina's payroll. Idiots
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NO, they looked out of place because they had paparazzi waiting for them outside, the kids had matching photo op outfits on and she was sportin' a skin tight skirt, come f*ck me boots and a blouse. Yeah, I feel out of place when I walk into my local food store looking like that! They looked out of place because they were "done up", you dumb ass loons!!!
They looked out of place because they were so beautiful? LOL! Must be on Brangelina's payroll. Idiots.
Submitted by Sensimina on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 10:21am.
They're the perfect couple. Brad always looks like he just farted, and Angie always looks like she's smelling something foul.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Fucking hilarious! Thanks.
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Submitted by girl_cheese on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 12:08pm.
Get lots of fiber, sugaroo. This should be a poo worthy of a grizzly bear.
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ROWR! *looking for honey*
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
The report forget to mention the hundred dollar bills the jolie/pitt bunch was handing out to all the other shoppers and paying for the groceries of everyone in their line at check-out. Bet they felt they got off cheap, just a hundred bucks a nut job
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:04am
I'm still scratching my head over her deal with St. John. It's like "Pam Anderson for Eileen Fisher" or "Katie Couric for Ed Hardy". Makes no sense.
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I totally agree with you, but this was their lame ass reasoning...Are they telling us there wasnt any other actress around in 2005 that could have been more appropriate than Jolie? She is the least conservative whore out there & she looks about 40, not really a proper representation of a younger generation...
"Angelina Jolie is the new face for the conservative suit-maker St. John Knits, in an attempt to change the company's image, and maybe increase the sale, taking into account her popularity.
The luxury outfits are favored by important women like the Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y..
Apparently, St. John will try to appeal to a younger generation and hope Angelina Jolies' presence is the sure path to greater success in the industry.
The company already known as one of fashion's most phenomenal success stories, has been in business for 42 years, and stands firmly established as a premier name in elegant knitwear around the world and is poised to enter an exciting new stage in its growth as an international corporation."
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Angelina-Jolie-s-Conservative-Imagige-For...
And this is why a) this country is going to hell in a handbasket and b) I love Dlisted.
The people on here on pretty rational and can see through this kind of fuckery. Ugh, when will we start caring about real issues again and not some effing actor's private life or political views?
Bravo and the Biography show (when it was on A&E) used to be good and show, actual arts programs. (this was circa 1999) Now it's just dumbass reality shows and the biographies are about actors who private lives aren't that interesting. Biography used to cover fascinating people like JFK, Gandhi, MLK, RFK, both Roosevelt presidents, Eleanor Roosevelt, etc. Now you get fucktards like Jack Black! WTF?!
And E! True Hollywood Story used to cover the most lurid but intruiging stuff - actual mysteries about Buffy from Family Affair and her dug overdose, Veronica Lake's mental illness and screwy life, George Reeves' death and so on. Now you get stuff like the real scoop on....Full House. Bob Saget? Really?
Even the entertainment doesn't shed light on human behavior anymore. It's just dull, like our collective brain.
Get lots of fiber, sugaroo. This should be a poo worthy of a grizzly bear.
Do these quotes come from a magazine that's owned by the fucktards who own Angie's latest movie? I rest my case.
Submitted by Reeter on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 12:01pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:58am.
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It's a date! Name the time and corner.
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I'm off to stock up on beans and grapes. This will be a monumental poo.
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:58am.
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It's a date! Name the time and corner.
Submitted by Reeter on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:57am.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:42am.
I am going to take a road trip this weekend to Oyster Bay and when I get there I'm going to take a great big dump on Main Street and stick a sign in it that says "Brad and Angie ain't worth me".
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Ahahahahahaahahaaa!
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Why don't you come with? You can do one, too, with a sign that says "Or me".
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:42am.
I am going to take a road trip this weekend to Oyster Bay and when I get there I'm going to take a great big dump on Main Street and stick a sign in it that says "Brad and Angie ain't worth me".
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Ahahahahahaahahaaa!
Angie is one of the many women I'd like to drop kick.
St. Johns dropped her when their sales plummeted.
See, their demographic is 30-40, upper class. Not the kind of woman who would really appreciates Jolie's ways. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
"...OMG, OMG... I'm at the mall and I saw Angelina's face on a cinnamon bun but then a fat lady ate it...OMG, OMG..."