Fix Yourself, Girl!

When you strut down the ho stroll in your sexiest spandex biker shorts, do the other whores yell at you, "Bitch, your pussy is hongray"? Does this make you feel sad in the pants, because you don't want everyone to see your damn uterus from the outside? Well, then the Cuchini is just the product to fix your COCHINA ass.

That shit will set you back $15 for two pads. Once you have your Cuchini pads, just place it over your hungry-hungry-hippo-cooze and voila! No camel toe. You will go from looking like a biological female with organic vagina lips to looking like you've got an 8" dick tucked into your ass crack. Fatty crotch to tranny crotch in a matter of seconds!

The website is like the land of fuckery! It has a video featuring a song that will be the first dance at my wedding. It also has a celebrity c-toe gallery. Strangely enough, the celebrity gallery doesn't star the CAMEL TOE QUEEN herself....CoCo! That's because even the Cuchini knows it is no match for the camel toe of all camel toes! I'd like to see the Cuchini try to cover up CoCo's mammoth vag flappers of wonder. It's not going to happen! If you placed one of those weak ass Cuchini pads on her snatch, it would eat it up in two bites, burp and then scream, "NEXT!"

I mean, behold CoCo's camel toe. It is not the one.

Source VIA Buzzfeed

Posted by: Michael K

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CoCo • I Don't Like Jokes

Submitted by paris herpes on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:52pm.

CoCo is a sight to be reckoned with. She needs to stop sporting the camel toe, it's NEVER in a million years been hot or sexy...in fact your hotness loses ALL credibility if you sport one, especially with those big boobs. It's a deal breaker for us normal folk, but for Ice-T, he finds it hot because the vagina crack reminds him of sex(oogabooga!). How caveman can you get?!

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:50pm.

Fix what?! She's perfect! Cha!

♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery

Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:50pm.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:48pm.
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SUGAROO ~ actually, I like to see Shamwow Vince do the infomercial.

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They can co-host and Martha Stewart can whip a tasty dish made from Durian fruit. If you don't know what Durian smells like - google it. Trust me, it fits a camel toe post.

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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK

Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:49pm.

this thing could double as a jock strap for asian guys

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Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:49pm.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:48pm.

JINX Stocky!

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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............

Submitted by Green Is Good on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:49pm.

Submitted by luckycharms on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:41pm.

CHARLES MANSON
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And this is so many Dlist sluts love you! Say it like it is, Charles.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:48pm.

Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:45pm.
Let's see Billy Mays do an infomercial about this thing!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUGAROO ~ actually, I like to see Shamwow Vince do the infomercial.

Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:48pm.

I think this is a job for Sham Wow Vince!

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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............

Submitted by See You Next Tuesday on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:48pm.

Pussy juice perfume? Aren't most of us already equipped with the means to make that?

"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."

Submitted by suze on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:47pm.

I love the slogan on their website

*Our lips are sealed*

http://www.cuchini.com/

BWAHAHAHA

Morbid. My dog's name is Morbid.

Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:46pm.

Oh geez. When will people stop telling women that they need to look like some airbrushed freak! Granted Coco's camel scares me but at least it's real. We don't look like chicks in Playboy. Girls have vag lips, get over it.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:46pm.

They should get Coco to be their spokeswhore.

Submitted by Plecostomus on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:46pm.

It's about time they muzzled those damn camels.

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Bottom-feeder.

Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:45pm.

Can't you do the same thing with some overnight maxi pad with wings? $8.50 for a pack of 20.

Submitted by See You Next Tuesday on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:45pm.

Oh, and if I saw the picture of the cuchini without any of the ad, I would have thought it was a flesh colored bicycle seat. I guess my mind is actually NOT in the gutter today....

"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."

Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:45pm.

Let's see Billy Mays do an infomercial about this thing!

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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK

Submitted by See You Next Tuesday on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:44pm.

The camel/ bikini girl cartoon looks like it has a dinosaur's head! And 'no bush for the cush'? Where have I been that I've never heard it called 'cush' before?

"Small and broken..... but still good..... mostly...."

Submitted by chasingbrucelee on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:42pm.

Cuchini Pads is brought to you by the maker of Pussy Juice Perfume. Get yours.

Submitted by elmo533 on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:42pm.

Not to be a nerd, but shouldn't it read "there's no cush for the bush"? Just sayin...

Submitted by Edweerdo on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:41pm.

I'd like an order of cuchini alfredo, sauce on the side.

Submitted by Miss Priss on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:41pm.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

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I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get-NOFX

GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09

Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:41pm.

Could someone please invent a button on my cable box that makes the REMOTE CONTROL BEEP (when i lose it)!! Is this technology out there? I could imagine Cocos cooter beeping while IceT is tossing couch cushions, hot!

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Submitted by luckycharms on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:41pm.

CHARLES MANSON
FUCK FIRST WE HAVE SHAVED YOU KNOW FUCKING WHATS AND NOW WE HAVE CAMEL TOE PROTECTERS. CANT A WOMAM JUST BE A GODDAMN FUCKING WOMAN IN ALL HER MOTHERFUCKING GLORY WITHOUT THIS FUCKING GODDAMN SHIT.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:39pm.

You could actually tip toe through Cocos twolips.

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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:36pm.

I have a bottle of olive oil dish soap in my kitchen called Cucchini...I'm not joking folks.

Coco needs to learn to tuck her prosthesis better.

Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:36pm.

UGGH! Another Million dollar idea that i missed out on.

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Submitted by Mother Superior on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:35pm.

Sounds uncomfortable, sweaty and unhygienic to me........oh, and unneccessary too.

Submitted by Chuck Norris on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:35pm.

I eat camel toes for breakfast.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:35pm.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

Submitted by Agie on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 4:33pm.

there is no way that thing would stay perfectly in place while swimming... and check out awfulplasticsurgery.com, CoCo's lovely square breasts are featured today.