I Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

I'd co sign this shit too. He just said what we are all thinking anyway

Submitted by Noelegy on Sat, 05/02/2009 - 11:03am.

Funny thing about jury duty: I found it very interesting (I've read a lot of true crime books, okay?) and was a bit disappointed when the ONE time I've been called, and was selected...the people decided during lunch break to settle out of court.

That was in 1993. I have never been summoned again.

Another weird thing about that day. The one person I knew in the room before they started culling people was the one teacher I happened to not be able to stand in high school.
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Oooh. Karmic. What did you learn that day?

♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery

So how many wrinkles does a dog have on his balls, anyway?

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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 12:53pm.

I once saw Weird Al sit on a civil jury in Santa Monica.
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That's hot!

*throws a nickel at Paris*

♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery

Funny thing about jury duty: I found it very interesting (I've read a lot of true crime books, okay?) and was a bit disappointed when the ONE time I've been called, and was selected...the people decided during lunch break to settle out of court.

That was in 1993. I have never been summoned again.

Another weird thing about that day. The one person I knew in the room before they started culling people was the one teacher I happened to not be able to stand in high school.

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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull

aaaah. Makes me proud to be a montanan...well not really. For the rec. I'm not from there I just lived there. But still! It porbably would be more interesting counting the wrinkles on some balls than to be on one of their boring ass juries. fuck that shiz!!!

Estrogen a-poppin!

I am from Montana. The last time I got a jury duty notice I called and said that I moved to a different state and notice was forwarded to me. They said ok and crossed me off the list, no questions asked. I didn't actually move out of state, but it worked and I never got another jury duty notice the entire time I lived in Montana.

I have jury duty on Monday. ugghhhh

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Dick happens! - MK

I got a call for jury duty last year... for a court in another county, well over an hour away (plus after you drive that hour, it's downtown, so you'd be in traffic for another who knows how long). The pay was like $9 ish an hour and they paid mileage. Thankfully, my letter writing campaign was successful and I didn't have to show.

"I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog's balls than sit on a jury." This is PURE poetry. Probably the funniest thing I've ever read on here aside from MK's other fantastic musings. I think I've found my new sig!

"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Audre Lorde

My friend wanted to get out of jury duty last fall so she and I could hang together. This is a copy of the actual letter she wrote them:

I am a Satanic anarchist and have no respect for the law, only total disregard. I do not believe in the current judicial system and I am biased/prejudiced. I am a known drug user and have been arrested 10 times. I do not fit into your society, and am a tattooed dreg standing and waiting in the shadows. It will be a waste of taxpayer money, other jurors' time, and the court's time as well to bring me in for possible selection. No one is guilty, period. Take your chances. But please be advised..

They still made her go:( But she showed up to court wearing an Angus Young schoolboy outfit with devil horns on her head and they finally excused her. HAHA! Rock on April!:)

I once saw Weird Al sit on a civil jury in Santa Monica. How the lawyers left him on the panel is beyond me. Maybe they thought it would keep the other jurors interested enuff not to bail? There he sat, in his Hawaiian shirt and Bernadette Peters hair, reading the latest Grisham novel.

Priceless - I'm definitely using the dog ball line!!!

I would go to jury duty. I don't believe in the system either but it sounds like fun:)

♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery

I actually liked Jury Duty. I've only been called once and was actually selected. I've never got another notice but my husband gets one like every year..not fair. My co-worker who is not a citizen but a legal resident gets them twice a year!! go figure. I does suck that they expect people to basically gave up their salary specially for head of households wtf_? a case can last like 2 weeks or more!

If they want people to be positive about participating in jury duty, changes have to be made. I know for a fact that there is a lot of delays and other bs that frustrate people...the system needs to be tightened up. The justice system (in both Canada and the US) is a joke, like another poster said - an ordinary shmuck who gets busted for having weed can be thrown in the slammer for years. A 'celebrity' like Chris Brown gets a pat on the head and goes to a class. Not fair. Not right. A two tiered justice system is nothing to believe in.

Also, paying people $6 a day to be a jury member is horseshit. You can't even get a Big Mac meal for that much. Pay a decent day's wage and you'll get a decent jury.

.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08

Submitted by FrappBloat on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 10:09am.

here's how I got out of jury duty:

I wrote them a letter saying I believe in the law of attraction, and as such both people had attracted this into their lives. I didn't believe there was any "wrong or right" just "is" and that I could educate them by teaching them how to change their energy and shift their vibe to attract what they wanted. I added that as a law of attraction coach, there was no way I could judge anyone. I am trained never to judge! I then linked them to the website I had at the time, with a very positive name, and they wrote back with a hell no we don't want you here LMAO that was what I wanted. Polite, easy, no need to get yourself in a hot mess :)

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Bootiful!

♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery

Personally, I wouldn't really mind doing jury duty, but it burns me up that folks are expected to lose pay. It's actually a hardship for most people to take time out of their lives to serve.

Submitted by OPlease on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 11:41am.

I'm especially disapointed in those who feel that being asked to serve as a juror is beyond what should be expected of them as a citizen.
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That's not really what he's saying tho. He's saying he doesn't want to participate in something he doesn't believe in. He doesn't believe the system works - maybe if he did, he'd be motivated to participate.

♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery

NOw THAT is good. That, right there, is a man I could marry. "I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog's balls than sit on a jury." *sigh* Prince Charming...where for art thou???

♥ ThreadKilla!
You know, I spend most of my life turning things down.
There's a lot of crap out there.~Bea Arthur
A DListed Youtube Gallery

In North Carolina when everyone came up with a good enough reason to get out of jury duty and they didn't have enough people for a trial the judge ordered the sheriff's deputies out to the mall to start rounding up "a group of their peers".

I'm especially disapointed in those who feel that being asked to serve as a juror is beyond what should be expected of them as a citizen. If this is too much of a burden for you, there is always a country without a jury system, like you know, communist Russia, oh wait they're not commies anymore, okay anything Taliban should get you through the night. They f*cking burn all the law books. Ofcourse, you won't have a site like this to whine to, whithout ya know, freedom of speech and all.
And there is an exemption for those w/financial hardship so quit using that as an excuse.

Submitted by girl_cheese on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 10:20am.
Oh shit, that's f__king funny. Never heard someone say they'd rather be counting wrinkles on their dog's balls. Must write that down for next baby shower invite.
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LOL! Or bridal shower! I hate those things unless it is a group of people where you know everyone, otherwise, you just sit around all awkward pretending you are having a great time playing stupid games.

Have you actually SERVED and they keep calling you?

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You have a fucking signature quote...come on now. Doesn't get much worse. aeon312 4/3/09

DUTY AS A CITIZEN??

I moved to the west coast 9 years ago and I have been summoned for duty EVERY year since. It's a running joke in my family. I complain to the court system and they say, "oh! But it's random. There's nothing we can do". BULLSHIT!

Sweet Jesus on rollerskates I could go postal on these people. And the sad thing is that I once loved participating in jury duty. They killed the pride of duty for me. Now I'm just harrassed.

Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 10:25am.
Jesus fucking CHRIST people, it is your fucking DUTY as a fucking CITIZEN to sit on a jury once in mother fucking TEN YEARS and you bitch about it? People are so goddamn lazy it makes me fucking sick. I sat on a murder trial last summer and was proud as fuck to participate in the justice system. It's a basic fucking part of being a fucking citizen. FUCK
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I'm glad you love the jury system, but it's a complete nuisance. I don't know what state you are in, but in mine, they can call you once a year if they wish and you can't do jack shit about it. It has nothing to do with laziness, but the prospect of having to sit with no pay for potentially several weeks isn't practical for most people. Some employers give you a few paid days for jury duty (like 5 per year), but that counts the days you are being surveyed and if the trial goes longer, tough shit, you ain't getting paid.

The whole concept of a jury is stupid. I wouldn't want a bunch of imbeciles determining an important decision. Just have a panel of judges or professional jurors or law students, but to have a bunch of laypeople, most with the IQ of a potato and the common sense to match, is ludicrous.

Jury duty is cool.

I saw this yesterday and LMAO. I'd love to have enough guts to do something like that!

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"Are you coming or going? Or, are you coming, and then going? Or, are you coming and staying?" --Brian Kinney

O Mah God! I love my home state!!! and i am moving back!!

however i do agree with stoney that it is a civic duty and a right of freedom that we have our peers judging us instead of some imperial leader.
but also, this guy lives in Belgrade and could very easily own a ranch or a farm where he really cannot take a day off, and doing so would ruin his few days for harvesting or branding whatever. There are real cowboys out there who cannot take a few days away.

my heart belongs to M O N T A N A!!!!!!!!

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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'

Stoney,

Ha I remember that! I have never been summoned but I do agree with others that they should raise the per diem to match your current salary.

Jesus fucking CHRIST people, it is your fucking DUTY as a fucking CITIZEN to sit on a jury once in mother fucking TEN YEARS and you bitch about it? People are so goddamn lazy it makes me fucking sick. I sat on a murder trial last summer and was proud as fuck to participate in the justice system. It's a basic fucking part of being a fucking citizen. FUCK.

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You have a fucking signature quote...come on now. Doesn't get much worse. aeon312 4/3/09

I have never been called for Jury Duty.

The closest I've been to it was when I watched "Jury Duty" with Pauly Shore.

I was drunk and young...that's my excuse.

Submitted by luckycharms on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 9:59am.

maybe they didn't pick you because you kept shouting at the lawyers! lol

Oh shit, that's f__king funny. Never heard someone say they'd rather be counting wrinkles on their dog's balls. Must write that down for next baby shower invite.

I'm glad he got out of it. In this economy the last thing hard-working people need is to deal with $6-a-day bullshit.
My dad got called for jury duty and he was pissed-- he was in his 60s at the time. He went down there and said all kinds of outrageous shit to get dismissed. Turns out the prosecutors liked him so much they chose him, and he was pissed bc the defense didn't object! Even worse, the others jurors elected him foreman! LMAO. The guy got convicted though.

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Vagina: apparently it is a clown car.

here's how I got out of jury duty:

I wrote them a letter saying I believe in the law of attraction, and as such both people had attracted this into their lives. I didn't believe there was any "wrong or right" just "is" and that I could educate them by teaching them how to change their energy and shift their vibe to attract what they wanted. I added that as a law of attraction coach, there was no way I could judge anyone. I am trained never to judge! I then linked them to the website I had at the time, with a very positive name, and they wrote back with a hell no we don't want you here LMAO that was what I wanted. Polite, easy, no need to get yourself in a hot mess :)

I agree with the others, saying something racist or acting mentally ill/unbalanced seems to do the trick. :D

Ha! I agree. I rather be on jury duty than in this place.

Submitted by KD on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 9:49am.
"Why am I being punished? Why am I being forced to sit under fluorescent lighting with a group of grouchy ass hos who would rather be getting foosted by one of Fantasia's hooves than be sitting there with me."

sounds like a regular day at the office, to me.

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Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.

y luckycharms on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 9:59am.

CHARLES MANSON

did you say that? because they dont want someone too impartial

Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

y Paquita

I used to work for a lawyer and once helped pick a jury so I have a little inside information : P

Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"

Submitted by luckycharms on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 9:59am.

I think you just answered your own question... LOL!

~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~

I'm sure this will jinx the shit out of my lucky streak, but I have never, in 41 yrs. on this planet, been called for jury duty.

~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~

CHARLES MANSON
IVE BEEN SUMMONED TO JURY DUTY FOUR TIMES OVER THE GODDAMN FUCKING YEARS AND THEY NEVER END UP FUCKING PICKING ME. I FUCKING CANT FIGURE OUT WHY. I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL. I WOULD FIND EVERYONE NOT GUILTY.

Submitted by Snarkley on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 9:32am.

I can't help but wonder what you go to trial for in Montana. Sheep fucking? Claim jumping? What?
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"claim jumping" Ha ha ha ha!!

A guy I work with went to jury duty and made a big fuss or something. Don't remember all the details but they actually threw his ass in jail and maybe even charged him with contempt of court. I think he was in jail for 3 days!

*files copy away*

This is classic.

"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!

The "I don't believe in our "justice" system" line makes him sound like a douchebag.

I mean, I'm dubious too (a jury of my peers?), but it's not something you state in a letter to authorities. Idiot needs to realize that there's a difference between spouting off on the internet and real-life interaction.

This post made my Friday morning- for real!

"Why am I being punished? Why am I being forced to sit under fluorescent lighting with a group of grouchy ass hos who would rather be getting foosted by one of Fantasia's hooves than be sitting there with me."

sounds like a regular day at the office, to me.

Submitted by yepyepyep on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 9:40am.

Claim to be racist or narrow minded and unfair, you will not help the defendant
know anyone in the trail lawyer or judge, you are out
know too much about case, it would make you an unfair juror
act crazy, blab stupid shit, cry be emotional unstable
say that you have a short attention span, you forget everything

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How do you know me? LOL ....ok it was just funny for me.
But you are right. My cousin was asked to be part in a jury. He was going on vacations to Italy. He was moving from TX to VA. He explained this a thousand times and he still needs to write a two pages long explanation to get out of it.

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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK

MY HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!