Showgirls: The Sequel
The eagerly anticipated (not really) film debut of Xtina is upon us! Variety says Xtina has signed on to star in Burlesque, a movie written by the chick who wrote Erin Brokovich and directed by Troy from Goonies. The movie was written with Tranny Clown in mind and will start shooting later this year.
As for the plot.... Just take one part Showgirls, one part Glitter and blend together. Pour into a glass and sprinkle just a little bit of Coyote Ugly on top. There you go:
Aguilera will play an ambitious small town girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club.
If the rest of the cast is also played by drag queens, then this is going to be a masterpiece that could top Showgirls as the cinematic experience of my life. I just don't understand why they didn't just save their coins and release Xtina's home movies instead. I mean, small town girl singer becomes a glorified pussay peddler? That is her life!
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Smurf- Yeah, I think a lot of people flew the coop or something. Looks like she hasn't been on here in almost 12 weeks! Seems like a few others are missing, too, but I can remember all the "names".
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 05/05/2009 - 10:42am.
love Xtina, but she does not have a hot body.
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umm, yeah, she kind of does
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
love Xtina, but she does not have a hot body.
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Submitted by Stock Broker on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 10:32am.
Nothing is worse than to have a morning boner with a woman you can't stand.
I'D kill for those shoes, too bad x-tina has made a caricature of herself, she has an amazing voice. What ever happen to Dreamyaguileraeyes
or whatever her name was?
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
uh OH. i think i'll love it. i loved Showgirls, i totally loved Glitter...and teehhee i even watch the coyote ugly reality shows on CMT. i own all of these on dvd **blush**
Every singer thinks she can act, write, design and sell friggin' perfume. Christina can sing but she should just do what she's good at.
I'm getting tired of this jack of all trades shit.
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I'm pinching yo nipples.
Submitted by KD on Tue, 05/05/2009 - 10:37am.
They always take pics in the most awkward positions. Like some of the poses underwear models make, who ever stands like that?
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MK at closing time.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
They always take pics in the most awkward positions. Like some of the poses underwear models make, who ever stands like that?
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 05/05/2009 - 10:32am.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 05/05/2009 - 10:31am.
I did!
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HAHAHAHAHHAHA! I should have known you'd say that!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
That pose looks extremely awkward and uncomfortable. At least the shoes are kinda cute.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Submitted by Sugaroo on Tue, 05/05/2009 - 10:31am.
I did!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 05/05/2009 - 10:28am.
Instead of Burlesque, she should do Rodeo Clown. She already wears enough makeup and I'd like to ride her for the full 8 seconds.
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Eight seconds? Geez, TV, you're supposed to EMBELLISH your stamina, not diminish it! Hand in your Manly Man Membership card!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Instead of Burlesque, she should do Rodeo Clown. She already wears enough makeup and I'd like to ride her for the full 8 seconds.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Christina has one of the greatest voices ever and if she wants to suck in a movie, she earned that right.
Huh?
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
She's hot - and she's gonna be hot in this but the movie will suck overall, stealing away her hotness, in general. So sad.
PS. HATERS! Where the hell is Dreamy?!
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
to think this is someone's mom - the joy!
If her breast looks like that when she's bent over and HOLDING it, it's got to be one saggy piece of meat when she stands up!
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The pair of moobs that makes a cameo at the 0:45 second was an interesting surprise - MK
Saggy hanging implants are not pretty.
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
Dom DeLuise died. I'm going out to rent "The End". F this whore...
Submitted by ricki lake on Tue, 05/05/2009 - 10:11am.
PS I liked Glitter (somewhat), and really don't think Mariah was bad in it. Is there something wrong with me?
I just saw Glitter for the first time on tv about two weeks ago! I actually liked it too and Mariah wasn't as bad as everybody said!
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Wow, did you attend the David Caruso School of Typing? You type...just like..(sunglasses off).... David..........Caruso..(sunglasses on)....acts. BADLY.
-Team Valtrex
ricki,
I was just going to post that someone should remind her about Glitter.
So the answer to your question is yes. ;)
Desperation for relevancy.
Yeah, I would.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Heads up to all you video store employees out there, you'll be needing to make room for this craptacular movie on your shelves.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
at least her legs finally look good.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Dammit! I thought this was a real sequel at first. I, for one, believe the story of Nomi Malone's younger sister is dying to be told, and am saddened that it won't be at this juncture. Elizabeth Berkeley's ass starts halfway up her back, so thankfully that gene pool won't be sullying this new movie.
Xtina is actually a pretty good actress (in everything I've seen her in anyway, which isn't much beyond SNL and MMC) but the movie itself will probably tank. Sounds like a rental to me.
PS I liked Glitter (somewhat), and really don't think Mariah was bad in it. Is there something wrong with me?
Devilgirl: I agree! Also, let actors just act. no releasing albums!
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Nice pic Christina! Yah won't being watching this shiteous movie!
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Wow, did you attend the David Caruso School of Typing? You type...just like..(sunglasses off).... David..........Caruso..(sunglasses on)....acts. BADLY.
-Team Valtrex
Why don't singers just sing! Must they always humiliate themselves with a really bad turn in a movie?
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Her kid will be so proud.
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Out. For A. Walk. Bitch.