Jon Gosselin Picked A Good One
If you're a married semi-celebwhore and you want to get some coochie on the side without your wifey finding out about it, do a background check on your possible whore first. Make sure she doesn't have any skeezy ass friends or relatives that will sell her ass out in a quick minute for a dollar. Because stupid ass Jon Gosselin might not be in this situation if he did that first. He picked a real winner in Deanna Hummel.
Not only did her brother yap about her business to UsWeekly, but now her ex-husband is trying to get a piece. Deanna's ex created a website using her name for the sole purpose of selling some fuck tape he made with her back in the day. Here's what he has to say:
Hello world! This is a site owned by one of Deanna Hummel's ex-boyfriends.When I read the news about her alleged affair with Jon Gosselin from the show Jon & Kate Plus 8, I have to say I wasn't surprised.
The Deanna I knew wasn't above cheating, even with married men, hence our eventual breakup. During our time together we made a secret amateur sex tape. It wasn't a hidden cam or anything, she was totally aware of the fact that I was taping. This has never been available to the public before. And it still isn't...yet! But I am shopping this tape and am currently in negotiations with sites like porn.com about selling it.
If anyone is interested in making me an offer, please email me at sextape@deannahummel.com
Hello World, does he think anybody will offer him more than an expired KFC Grilled Chicken coupon for this shit? The dick bag also has screen shots on the website and I am not impressed. They weren't even trying to make a tape worth watching! That skank still has half of her teacher's outfit on! That is my pet peeve right there. If you're doing sexy times in a bed, take off all your damn clothes. Even the socks. I can understand if you're busting a quickie in a church bathroom or under a highway overpass, but not if you're in a bed! Put some effort into it. Sex tape FAIL.
UPDATE: So, this shit is probably fake. (NSFW) Click here to see the video the screencaps were taken from. I'm not sure if that's Deanna or not, but I doubt it now. The cum shot at the end is truly amateur hour. (Thanks Peter)
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I think Jon did the whole thing on purpose, like a wolf chewing off it's own paw to escape. He just underestimated how bad she wants to keep that show. I know he is going "Damn, she didn't throw me out? What do I fucking have to DO?" And yeah, he doesn't seem like the sharpest tool. When Deanna was hitting on him, he was probably thinking she wanted him because he is such a stud. Doy!
BTW, I clicked on that porn site all ready to get my Saturday morning turn-on, and what do I get. The dryest fuck I have ever seen in my LIFE! That bitch needs some KY or somethin. I was feeling her pain. With every pump I was going, ow ow ow ow ow.....
DVD Ripper for Mac
Dear MK,
fuck you for posting that link. i clicked on it (big mistake) and five thousand pages came up of really bad porn. i just couldn't watch it.
Love,
Cuntylicious LeScrew
Submitted by TCCB6869 on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 3:39pm.
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Do I call you TCCB6869 or Annie Wilkes? I don't know your situation, but have you thought about turning off the telly or just changing channels?
I have nothing to add except that you whores are hilarious! :)
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:10pm.
Excellent. Let's continue to hate Deannas together forever.
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♥*♥*♥*♥*♥* Why do you ride women that look like men?! Why do you ride hippos?! *♥*♥*♥*♥*♥
The most disgusting thing of all is that we're talking about these disgusting mega-breeders.
Edit: Can you tell I'm disgusted?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
According to the IMDB, someone found a post on another board that stated they have been separated since last July and the show has been a business relationship since then.
TCCB6869............Is that you Jon?
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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Kate is a BI-POLAR mess. She needs to shut the fuck up and learn how to love and respect her husband. Jon is her emotional punching bag. I don't think he cheated on her basically he's too big of a Wuss to go through with it. If anything Jon was over his friends house probably drank too much and smoked a joint to relieve some of the stress. The Bi-Polar queen is on his ass everyday when does he have the time and energy to get laid. KATE ....REALLY .... GET SOME FUCKEN HELP THE ENTIRE COUNTRY KNOWS YOU ARE TO TOTAL BI_POLAR BITCH. THE PROOF IS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE SEE HOW YOU ABUSE JON. YOU'RE MOUTH ALONE IT A TOTAL NIGHTMARE. You know Jon loves Kate because he would have left the bitch already. Seriously if Kate doesn't get help Jon needs to find a nanny to raise the kids because Kate is a totally bad role model. Having a BI-POLAR FIT isn't raising a family. Otherwise those kids are going to grow up just as screwed up as Kate. COME ON NOW IF JON WAS CHEATING ON KATE KATE WOULD STILL BE ON THE PHONE BITCHING AT HIM AT THE SAME TIME HE WAS GETTING LAID. HE WOULD LITERALLY HAVE TO TUNE HER OUT OR TURN OFF THE VOLUME. THE WOMAN WILL NOT GIVE THE MAN A MOMENTS PEACE. HE CAN'T EVEN TAKE A SHIT IN PEACE. EVERYTHING IS ALL ABOUT HER JON CAN'T EVEN PUT TWO WORDS TOGETHER BECAUSE KATE'S CONSTANTLY BITCHING ABOUT SOMETHING. IF AND WHEN KATE SHUTS THE FUCK UP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE MAYBE SHE CAN ACTUALLY LISTEN TO HER HUSBAND JON. THE MAN LATESTED THIS LONG HE OBVIOUSLY LOVES HER. HE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT TRUE LOVE AND RESPECT FEELS LIKE BECAUSE HE ISN'T GETTING IT AT HOME. Jon get the bitch into counseling and on Prozak and if that don't help then you definately need to think about the children and get a divorce. They're going to grow up being just as nasty and abusive as Kate is. SAVE YOURSELF AND THE KIDS WHILE YOU STILL CAN. AMERICA KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH JON ITS ON NATIONAL TV THATS ALL THE PROOF YOU NEED RIGHT THERE.
I swear, these peeps have to be related to the Palins.
I love the smell of a fresh train wreck in the morning.
Jontard, Katebeast, Jontard's Piece of Ass, Piece of Asses brother and ex fuck, all swirling into the vortex of white trash hell.
This is better than a Cops episode. Just have the litter, dirty and with crap filled diapers with 3 semi-feral Rotties running around to complete the picture.
This makes my dental surgery today seem like nothing.
*It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.*
~Bill Hicks~
http://gosselinswithoutpity.blogspot.com/
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"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
Thanks Stoney...you saved me from having to google these idiots.
You know, I've seen many couples like this before.
Overbearing bitch wife who takes out all her frustrations on her husband.
Husband who is a lazy good for nothing dimwit that just takes all the oft-times deserved abuse with a sigh and a smile as he goes about his merry way.
What's that term? Co-dependant? Seriously, neither of these people would be happy if they were happy.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Jacksonville, hello..."
Girls look so tasty in that position...mm mmm mmmm
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Half of her teacher's outfit on, eh? Which half? *emailing*
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You are so hot.
Submitted by K2 on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:38pm.
Why the hell did they renew their vows if this is how he really felt? Is everything just for "ratings"?! WTF?
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The Gosselin's do nothing if it's not for ratings.
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"Ick. Nast."
Submitted by Barb Dwyer on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:34pm.
*clears throat*
Ahem. I think this is a question for me to answer. I'll tell you who these duck butter toejam for brains mother fuckers are. The bitchy looking cunt on the right with the bad haircut is Kate Gosselin. She one of those extremely selfish retarded whores who decide to have six babies all at one time. She had twins before that. The slow-looking douchebag next to her is her husband, Jon Gosselin, who is apparently cheating on her greedy hideous pyschotic obsessive compulsive materialistic ass. These resource-sucking pathetic excuses for human beings are the stars of the abominable exploitive show Jon and Kate Plus 8 on TLC.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Wow. How sad. From wholesome family show to being directly connected to skeezy amatuer porn. How sad I feel bad for those children who are going to suffer at the hands of their classmates.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
There's sexier stuff in the amatuer section of pornhub.com, which is where I predict this tape will end up.
What a douche. Expect a lawsuit in 5...4...3...
Why the hell did they renew their vows if this is how he really felt? Is everything just for "ratings"?! WTF?
I do not condone cheating but if you're gonna do it, why not pick one of the nannies (who is with you all the time anyway)? Be smart about it. Who goes out in search of a stranger especially when you're on TV and people recognize you? If she is only a "friend" then why hasn't Kate admitted to knowing her? All of a sudden Jon has a female friend that Kate doesn't even know and he's out club hopping with her??? How do you pull that off?
If dumb was dirt, Jon would cover an acre!
Hee, I'm fairly positive if you work anywhere in the restaurant industry (not at the classy places, but like, at the diners and local joints), you are going to meet some wackjobs. Especially if you work with the lifers (i.e., not just on weekends). It's sad, but it sure does make for some good entertainment (and you leave all thankful, thinking you are the luckiest bitch in the world! Going back to college! Not pregnant! Not addicted to anything! Not dating a guy who probably tries to molest my daughter! Not living in a trailer! Not going to IHOP every fucking day for the rest of my life! Woooo!)
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
I'm too fucking lazy to read the previous posts or google who the fuck these people are. Someone here please tell me who these fucktards are?
(btw,this is a record amount of "Fucks" I have ever included in one post)
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:27pm.
But I have known some pretty skanky Mistys and Ambers.
*
Never met a Alison that wasn't a total bitch. Not once.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Jacksonville, hello..."
I'd normally lob a few curses in the direction of such people but the economy is puckering up and sucking buttocks quite intensely. These trashtastic humans are merely trying replicate what Haris Pilton and Slim CarCrashian have done to pull in the paper. (I simply refuse to use their correct names and increase their search rating).
We're all going to watch it anyway, hair fat belly in the shot or not. :D
--thanks awfully--
Putas - that avatar.... gobsmacked with admiration.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Jacksonville, hello..."
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:22pm.
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Damn MK for making me relive that video clip, but yes, he was banging someone in a Vegas hotel. For someone that fronts being so sexual, he was wearing his black socks while he was out of breath barely able to move his ass up & down. I swear it was like watching someone from the Boca Raton retirement community getting lucky.
As someone who doesn't watch this show I find this chapter of their lives delicious.
Go Ex bf's!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
By the way...
Karma is a BITCH!!!
And I know Karma is laughing her ASS OFF AT KATE!!!
Who is mean-spirited...and a sanctimonous JERK!!!
I'm sorry...she is OFF THE FUCKING CHAIN...and if you goggle them and read some of the behind the scenes shit...
YOU WOULD BE ROLLING!!!
But...at least ratings will go up...
So actually...this is a WIN-WIN SITUATION FOR EVERYONE!!!
But I have known some pretty skanky Mistys and Ambers.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
speaking of epic fails - here's kate on the today show this am. Kate ‘hesitant to believe’ Jon was unfaithful Reality-TV mom vows they will ‘weather this storm’; husband issues denial. nice.
I really hope this prompts them to end the damn show.
how long can those children live under a lens, i am thinking The Truman Show.
Should of ended a long ass time ago, for shame on both of them. They need to get damn jobs!!!
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My brother wouldn't touch your titties with a ten foot pole. He likes his women bad, Lenora, not cheap.
Submitted by kanderso on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:14pm.
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Holy shit, where do I apply?
:D
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Some people say forgive and forget. Nah, I don't know. I say forget about forgiving and just accept. And... get the hell out of town.
I feel so left out never having known a Deanna.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:19pm.
"If you're doing sexy times in a bed, take off all your damn clothes. Even the socks." All of a sudden Gene Simmons sex tape has come back to haunt me, "I Want to Know How Love Feels" will be playing over & over in my head...thanks MK.
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Ick Nast. That one even made it hard for me to fantasize about his hot son. *shudders*
Smufy: Shat up! I am disliking her more and more.
"If you're doing sexy times in a bed, take off all your damn clothes. Even the socks." All of a sudden Gene Simmons sex tape has come back to haunt me, "I Want to Know How Love Feels" will be playing over & over in my head...thanks MK.
This whole debacle contains nothing more than desperate people trying to cash in on money and fame from the Gosselins, the gf, the brother, and the exes...all of you deserve each other.
love the stories kanderso. Gold! And sort of sad (for them!)
Submitted by kanderso on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:14pm.
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THANKYOU KANDERSO!!! Your comment was FUCKING FANTASTIC!!! It took me through my sandwich and EVERYTHING!!!
Write a book!!!
Name it..."I got friends in LOW places"!!!
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:11pm.
Submitted by putas on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:06pm.
All clumped together and b-tching while their kids play. Fcking faces of misery.
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I know, huh? With their Lexus SUV's.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO PISSY ABOUT?
BICHES DON'T WORK, SO WHAT'S THEIR TRIP?
GAH!
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Well raising 8 young kids isnt a walk in the park you know....
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When incorporating food into sex, hindsight is 20/20.
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:11pm.
Yeah we live in a snotty 'hood (nice schools and stuff but man, they playground? I'd almost rather a few harmless bums here and there than these chicks) Wow. Talk about unfriendly. And they all kinda look alike it's surreal. Like little Kates! (er, not so little all the time..)
This entire story is beyond disgusting! Jon should be ashamed of himself. Period. You want to cheat on your wife (asshole) then hire an escort and pay for a lay! I'm sure there are plenty of them out there that would keep it private - like they do for most celebrities.
As for this bumble f*ck of a brother, I think it's a little suspicious that he has the video camera all revved up and ready to film Jon leaving the house. If that doesn't' scream , "I want cash", then nothing does. What a sicko. No loyalty in that family. Nothing like throwing your own sister, her career, her name under the bus. dick.
I feel bad for Kate because it appears she's always held down the fort. I feel for those children as well. It's so obvious she is going to try and clean up this mess - but I wouldn't be surprised if we see another season of the reality show and then they pull the plug on it. Not only because the children are getting older and will be in school full time but this marriage is busted up. I hope they've socked away some of this cash. Alimony and child support are going to be a bitch to pay if it comes down to divorce.
Hahaha, Deanna IS usually a trashy name (although I knew one really nice/normal Deanna).
My favorite Deanna was this totally white trash ho I met while slinging pancakes at IHOP over summer break one year in college. She never showed up to work on time, and there was always a reason - car wouldn't start, little brother was sick, etc. This chick was 19 and had more tatoos than anyone I knew, piercings in really unfortunate places, and LOVED to tell us all about the piercings, her fucky times, and her druggy times. Best part was that her mom, who was 36!!! would always smoke weed with her in the mornings. Mom and daughter wake and bake.
She broke up with some piece of shit boyfriend and he came to work and beat the shit out of this cook Juan, because Deanna was apparently sucking Juan's dick in the parking lot of the IHOP after work.
Aaaah, one of my favorite jobs ever, just because of the drama.
We also had Jodi who was about 45 and who always went to the same bar every single night, along with her current fuck toy, her baby daddy, and the woman her baby daddy cheated on her with (who also happened to be her brother's ex-girlfriend).
We had Sheila, who was about 40, fat as hell, with a husband who refused to work, who was constantly about to get evicted and was always trying to borrow money.
We also had Nikki, who was 17 when I met her, and was always talking about how she was going to be a model (she was insanely tall and skinny and had a kind of cute/interesting face) and instead became an assistant manager of IHOP once she graduated high school, and promptly got pregnant with her 16-year old boyfriend who was a total douche punky kind of kid.
Our boss was Mike, a 5'5 single guy in his 30s who'd never had a date, had the face of a 12-year old, and always wore bowties and talked endlessly about how slutty some of the servers were and how he'd never date girls like that (but then turned around and flirted with the slutty servers).
All the cooks were perverts who couldn't hardly speak English but would just try to grope ass when you went to the storage room.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
You know...
The few times I watched "Jon and Kate + too many fucking kids"...
I always thought Jon was more than a little "slow"...I mean, I honestly felt that if he wasn't on the show...he could qualify for disability payments from Social Security....
This does NOTHING to dispell my original thoughts regarding Jon...
Submitted by putas on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:06pm.
All clumped together and b-tching while their kids play. Fcking faces of misery.
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I know, huh? With their Lexus SUV's.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DO THEY HAVE TO BE SO PISSY ABOUT?
BICHES DON'T WORK, SO WHAT'S THEIR TRIP?
GAH!
Submitted by The Audrey on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 12:55pm.
You are my new best friend. If you had said the last Deanna was 42, I would have thought she was my ex's cousin.
Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:06pm.
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 1:03pm.
i'll give it a try.if hate the film i'm coming after you! and put you up for auction on CL.BWAHAHAHAHAHA
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Oh crap!
I didn't read the book, but the movie was cute!
Even the kid who works at Blockbuster and has seen the movie said it was "great"! I was also renting "Sabrina" and "Twilight" and he said those were good, too. If a 17 year old kid has seen "Sabrina" and said it was good, then he knows what he's talking about. I'll give you his name in case you hate Nick & Norah. But you'll have to come to Tucson to come after him.
~^^~
And I'm loving the Glade candles behind them. For Baba Wawa and Ann Curry interviews they spring for at least a few nice white column candles.
Hoopdie fuckers!