Oh, Father
Escandalo! Santo Dios! This is the magazine cover of my wildest dreams! The magazine is TVNotas and this week's cover story is about a popular Catholic priest in Miami who is the co-star of a sex scandal. A sex scandal involving a woman. A woman with a real vagina. A woman with a real vagina who is over the age of 18. Yeah, some scandal. Cue my abuelita screaming SANTO DIOS because he wasn't caught with an alter boy.
TVNotas published several pictures of sexy Father Alberto Cutié rolling around on Miami Beach with a lady back in February. Father Cutie (Amen to that!) is also known as "Father Oprah," (no relation to White Oprah) because he writes a syndicated advice column and has hosted several talk shows. Shortly after the church found out about the pictures, they put his ass on leave.
A spokeswhore for the Archdiocese released this statement: "This is a difficult day for everyone in the Archdiocese of Miami. We pray for Father Alberto. The vow of celibacy really means there is a commitment outside the vow that stresses the focus on the holy order. The vow of celibacy is there for a reason. He's on a prayerful journey. He's still a priest, but he is on leave."
Forgive me father, but celibacy sucks. Genitals are there for a reason. They're meant to be played with. True fact.
Besides, I doubt Father Cutie was doing any sexy shit. He was merely blessing the woman and trying to get the evil out of her. He was slapping her with his crucifix and cleansing her with his holy water. Father Cutie was doing his job!
SANTO DIOS!!!
Source: AOL (Thanks Justin)
• 
DVD Ripper for Mac
Ok, so they are fighting in the streets down here over this guy. Since I'm not a Hispanic catholic, I only got word of the brawl when I saw the news. Passionate!
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Submitted by de Cosmos on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:11pm.
**************************************************************
Hahahahahahahahaha, that's real poetry, you got there!
____________________________________________________________
What don't you fuckin' understand???- Christian Bale
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:11pm.
Such silliness and much ado about nothing.
I do hope someday in the future, the catholic church will become more accepting of cultural changes in society and allow priest to marry, openly discuss and encourage birth control and be more accepting of individual differences
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As a Catholic, I also always felt that allowing Priests to marry was a good idea.
*******************************************
Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
The Vatican should reward their priests for being caught with a woman. How refreshing.....a priest that isn't a gay pedophile.
Doncha just love the Catholic church? He gets suspended or sent on eave or whatever for fooling around with a WOMAN but the ones who fuck with children and just sent to another parish!!
No wonder I left!
where can you find the millionaire? now many single have accounts on ___ClassyMingle.com.____ .it's a big millionaire and celebrities dating site. it's a big chance to meet your classy lover in your life time.so if you are single, what are you waiting for..
Father Albert MARRIED me and my husband a few years ago! Poor guy - he's a wonderful preacher and his church on South Beach is always packed. Hope they can let him go on this...there are many MUCH more horrible things that other priests have done with a slap on the wrist!
On top of you
Is a holy man
Under you
Is a holy book
In your hole
Is a holy pole
So wiggle your arse
And save your soul
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:11pm.
Such silliness and much ado about nothing.
I do hope someday in the future, the catholic church will become more accepting of cultural changes in society and allow priest to marry, openly discuss and encourage birth control and be more accepting of individual differences.
*
And I'm hoping for a pony.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Jacksonville, hello..."
Submitted by Raniya on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:39pm.
I always wondered about his whole "celibacy" status, cause let me tell you, he was very "popular" with the ladies in his church, and he seemed to love the spotlight a bit too much.
I honestly think he wanted to get caught, cause this was going on in Miami Beach, near the vicinity of his church, and were d-list latin celebrities want to be photograph by paparazzi...Even Daisy Fuentes was caught having sex at Miami Beach with Luis Miguel couple of years ago.
*
sex on a beach? ewwww. one word: Sand.
I don't care how careful you are. Sand.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Jacksonville, hello..."
i'm mostly surprised the priest was caught with a consenting adult woman....
_____________________________________________
Some people fight fire with fire. Professionals use water.
He's gettin some coocha. At least he's not running after young boys.
A friend of mine who was once a priest (and is now married with children, very happily) said he had more sex as a priest than he ever had as a single male.
Well at least he isn't rolling around with a little boy.
Such silliness and much ado about nothing.
I do hope someday in the future, the catholic church will become more accepting of cultural changes in society and allow priest to marry, openly discuss and encourage birth control and be more accepting of individual differences.
************************************************
Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
The Catholic Church needs to give it a rest and just let priests marry or date. Fuck!
I had to write a paper on Priests once so I spent an entire week reading book after book, nothing but books on Priests. I had nightmares. Child touching, rape (women and boys), plus the psychology of some of them is just fucked up. These were mostly accounts of American priests so no offense to the others. I mean they do it because all they have to do is confess and nothing happens to them. No fears of hell and they don't lose their jobs because the Church needs them. Things would probably be a lot better if they were allowed to marry.
Submitted by Candy on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:37pm.
I don't understand what the big deal is about. Its all over the news down here. He did not penetrate her. What's the problem?
***********************************
LOL! He did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!
Sound familiar?
So, priesthood:
Making Out - ok
Heavy Petting - ok
Oral - ok (but you can't say oral 'sex' if you do it)
Penetration - NOT OK
Like that? I'm being cheeky but I am kinda curious.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Shouldn't they give this guy a special medal or some sort of award? I mean the Church can finally say, "this time the Priest didn't try to fuck some alter boy!"
Father Cutie should have a threeway with Madge and Jesus, STAT!
===================================
Bottom-feeder.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:48pm.
These religious threads are always so dicey. *off to read the fart posts*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are so hot.
Sheeps> Yeah, that's what I meant. It's not specifically stated in the bible, it's something they made up, like the no birth control rule.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:34pm.
I don't know about that rule, but I once worked with a widower that was preparing to enter the priesthood.
There you go: he'd then be celibate (while not virginal). Did you flip him?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are so hot.
Catholic bashing and demands for the church to revise their rules,
*exists slowly and silently closes door*
************************************************************
Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
The Church should be way happy that Father Oprah was caught with a woman instead of an 11 year old boy. Somehow, this particular scandal seems like a step up from the usual parish hijinks.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
If someone else has covered this, sorry, but the only reason catholic priests are supposed to be celibate is because some medieval pope decided the Church wasn't going to support their families.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I don't understand what the big deal is about. Its all over the news down here. He did not penetrate her. What's the problem?
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
I always wondered about his whole "celibacy" status, cause let me tell you, he was very "popular" with the ladies in his church, and he seemed to love the spotlight a bit too much.
I honestly think he wanted to get caught, cause this was going on in Miami Beach, near the vicinity of his church, and were d-list latin celebrities want to be photograph by paparazzi...Even Daisy Fuentes was caught having sex at Miami Beach with Luis Miguel couple of years ago.
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 5:07pm.
Celibacy for priests is a Catholic rule, not dogma. Many priests have been married, but obviously it was more common earlier in the church's history. I think you can still be a priest if you convert from another faith and are already married.
**********************************************
I don't know about that rule, but I once worked with a widower that was preparing to enter the priesthood.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:44pm.
how about "Missionary Man". He seems comfortable in that position.
simple and will catch on.
I think this celibacy rule should be retired. It is extremely stupid and unfair to expect someone to suppress their natural urges. We're sexual creatures, and as long as the sex that a priest has happens between two consenting adults, there shouldn't be a problem.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
LOL! @ Ms. Caligula:
Unfortunately I was raised a Methodist & my only frame of reference about Catholic priests involves Mel Gibson & an unreleased horror film.
I was raised Catholic and feel priests will be ran dry by the end of my days. They need to get with the times - like asap!
------------------------------------------------
http://myspace.com/steph_the_ripper
Celibacy for priests is a Catholic rule, not dogma. Many priests have been married, but obviously it was more common earlier in the church's history. I think you can still be a priest if you convert from another faith and are already married.
I love the sound of "in fraganti con su amante"!
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:58pm.
********
Gee, I had no idea re TV. Do you need to share? Is there video evidence?
********
This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
-I dont get the catholic church. They kick out a priest for being on the beach w/ a girl. But when claims are filed against other kiddie touchers they put them on leave or just move them to another church. There is something seriously wrong with their system. -
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:50pm.
Slitty! *blushing furiously*; It wasn't my fault! You know how trusting I am! He said that he needed to lay his hands on me, to rid me of impure thoughts.
*********************************************
Hmmmmm, T.V. said the same thing to me in Vegas, you don't think he was telling fibs? T.V. is ordained, right? I mean.... he had a card and a typed letter saying so. The letter had Fatican at the top, but he said that was a typo and that the Church got a discount from the printers.
This is good escalando!
Oye María, ¡pásame el agua bendita!
Now seriously, who gets surprised priests have sex? Good thing padre Alberto hid the salchichón with a consenting adult, unlike some of his peers.
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:30pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:25pm.
Ok, this is the stuff of every decent Catholic woman's fantasies: a hot priest who likes WOMEN?? Imagine the nasty stuff you could whisper in the confessional? Hooooly.
********************************************
Interesting, because I recall a certain someone that made a beach trip just a few months ago. I guess we can stop searching for the identity of the woman with the priest.
************
Slitty! *blushing furiously*; It wasn't my fault! You know how trusting I am! He said that he needed to lay his hands on me, to rid me of impure thoughts.
********
This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
He's a hottie, for a Priest.
Mad with joy, life and death dance
to the rhythm of this music.
The hills and the sea and the earth dance.
The world of man dances in laughter and tears.
Why put on the robe of the monk
and live aloof from the world in lonely pride?
~some ancient Chinese guy.
♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock
Lifetime had a movie with Kim Bassinger called the Mermaid Chair where she has an affair with a hot priest too (actually a Monk --even worse). Based on a great book, and a more modern take than The Thornbirds
"Voy a armar un escandalo" - Alejandra Guzman
Submitted by OXA on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:35pm.
I am still thnking of the title for the Telenova.
"MIAMI THE MEDJUGORIE OF FLORIDA"
OXA...how about "Missionary Man". He seems comfortable in that position.
Certified Fuckery on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 4:40pm.
This is some El crimen del padre Amaro shit right here.
---
lmao
no its not
This is some El crimen del padre Amaro shit right here.
Celebacy is win/win for churches. They get to control others behaviours AND they don't have to pay salaries that would allow priests to support a family.
Money and Power. At the root of all religious motivation will be one of those two things.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"Jacksonville, hello..."
I gotta learn how to speak Spanish
it's the thornbirds - live. father alberto escandalo IS present day richard chamberlain.
I am still thnking of the title for the Telenova.
"MIAMI THE MEDJUGORIE OF FLORIDA"
I am still thnking of the title for the Telenova.
"MIAMI IS NO MEDJUGORIE"
I have a good friend who happens to be a Catholic priest,and when I asked him about this, he told me that " You can't miss something you've never had" and that he really hopes to continue this way because he really enjoys his calling..who knows. He is very good looking and bitches offer their services all the time.