Thursday, May 7th 2009

Braniston 2.0

Jennifer Aniston's ovaries are still hongray for baby batter (sorry, I hate that term too), so she went out to get herself some! The Susan Boyle of the Americas hit up a party for her movie Management at Table 8 in NYC on Tuesday night. Jennifer put her nose to work to try to sniff out the dude with the highest sperm count (she took a class at the Learning Annex to learn that skill) and it led her to Bradley Cooper.

Bradley and Jenny were both in He's Just Not That Into You. I don't know if they had any scenes together, though. I didn't see that wet piece of crap. Anyway, Page Six says that at the party, Jen was getting on Bradley like she was ready to conceive right then and there! A witness said, "Bradley and Jennifer were definitely into each other. She kept touching his chest and whispering in his ear."

Bradley and Jennifer left the party 10 minutes apart.

Yes, his name is Bradley, but doesn't mean ANYTHING. Yes, Jen probably made him say "Angelina Jolie is a fugly fat cunt with caca brains and a rotten coochie" before she let him touch her breasts, but that has nothing to do with anything. She likes Bradley for Bradley and not because his name is Bradley. It's also a good thing she might be hooking up with a Brad, because then she won't have to make that many changes to her "JEN & BRAD 4EVAHs" shrine. Less work!

Posted by: Michael K


RasKimmie's picture

OK, I am down with the idea that not everyone needs to be married. But damn, Aniston gets crunched every time you turn around. With her looks and money, you gotta be kidding me! I mean really, I was single for 37 years, and I broke many more hearts than broke mine. That's a good bitch's job! Jen, if you are reading this, fuck somebody up!

RasKimmie's picture

Her dating another Brad is like me trying Captain Morgans again. It just doesn't work.

She wastes no time between (each failed) relationships. How many has she been through now?........QUITE!! the hot piece (if you know what I mean). If she was a man, she'd be labled a 'player'. What's the FEMALE equivalent of that term?

In fact, these 2 have got very similar lower faces. Check them out! Jen's got a mans features.

By God - she's got a huge chin.

Bradley Cooper is hot.

dadada's picture

JA always picks pretty boys? Does anyone remember Tate Donovan? Vince Vaughn? John Mayer? Tate Donavan??
She's bright,pretty, strong willed, ambitious,and little desperate, that pic of her is almost laughable(She's in great shape).Brad is no longer her husband yet every article about her has to mention him.They did this to Halle Berry when she broke up with David Justice, year after year until she married that winner Eric Benet.Sickening already.Also if she wanted children she would've had them with Brad. They wanted different lives, case closed.

"Get that corn outta my face"!

Rocket's picture

She needs to go far, far away and get a life

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Looks like she has a pretty damn good life to me. Nice looking, great body, millions of dollars, no husband, no children - she can do what she wants and when she wants.

chefcammi's picture

About ol' Jenny...
Who cares if she hasnt had a child by 40? These days if you havent had a child by 16 youre an old hag it seems. Good for her by not going out and getting knocked up just to keep a relationship going or adopting a ton of kids to make herself look better and not "childless" at age 40.

I'd rather her pay some trick to play pretend then drag a child into the mix- at least the guy gets something out of it too and he can handle it when they split- unlike a child/ren who dont understnad why mommy isnt around and Nannie Sam is here instead.

Why is her character being associated with her how her marriage with Brad#1 went down? Other than the money part of it (and the fame, etc) it's no different than any other relationship that went sour. Men cheat, women cheat and women chase married men. So, JA's a hot mess because her and Brad got divorced and he went to plan Manny Brad with AJ? It's obvious that BRAD isnt as cool and smart as he wants his fans to think- he's a pushover, almost up there with Jon Gosslin (sp?). Both are manipulated by an overly powerhungry, attention whoring woman. Brad's lost his looks and a lot of respect, IMO.

So,I know this is an older post- but I wanted to get my thoughts out there.. JA is dating, buying- whatever, but she's doing it in a classy, more dignified way. SHe's not pretending to be something she's not, she's not flip flopping between characeters (mother,martyr, actress-and I use these words loosley when describing AJ)..JA has always just been JA- big chin, big nosed, same weight, bright eyed JA.

Ok, I'm done...hahaha.

~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/7/09 @ 36w3d

Queef Richards's picture

Weren't they rumored to be hooking up a few years ago?

Submitted by Life on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:56pm.
right fuckin now i'm trying to watch "Marley & Me", havent seen Jenn in a while and i'm so fucking sorry to see that Jenn has had NOTICABLE plastic surgery of her nose that takes away from what I LOVED about her!!
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Funny. I was too busy crying my eyes out during that heartfelt movie to really notice her nose job. It's not like she has fish lips that you can't see past. Give the girl a break. By the way, NOTICEABLE plastic surgery to the nose would be Jennifer Grey ( from dirty dancing) - I couldn't pick her out of a line up these days. Her nose WAS her trademark. Not so much with Aniston.

yuliasAcups's picture

They are cute together. Same face shape and smile. It could work. He looks like he'll follow her like a sheep....she needs that.

Don't love me like you do.

Team Valtrex's picture

Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 12:13am.
Jennifer should have her own Cougar show.
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And my peen in every orifice.

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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

I like Jen but IMO that photo looks ridiculous. She looks like she's mimicking a bunny rabbit with her hands in that position.

Manimal5's picture

Jennifer should have her own Cougar show.

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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.

parissucksliterally's picture

if true, good for her! he is YUMMY!

I love that pic of her- she looks so fucking hot.

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"dumb bitches should stick to giving hummers rather than driving them"
-HB 5/5/09

angel_i's picture

Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:46pm.

hmmm marky mark. he can drop his pants all over my place.

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Yeah, I can honestly say I'd flip my decision in a heartbeat for that guy. I'm not really that disciplined anyway. There's, likely, quite a few people I'd flip it for;p

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

xerquina's picture

hmmm marky mark. he can drop his pants all over my place.

I'm sure Jen isn't all that deep. She always picks pretty boys. Some of them might be bi; then there's Mayer.

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You are so hot.

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:33pm.

Let's start with Farrah's kid, Lohan's little sister, Palin's daughter, and BritBrit's little sister.........

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Honestly - I blame ALL of that on Marky Mark. He just distributed too much fucking hope. I can't blame him for being awesome tho...Who I CAN blame?:

The naked guy on Survivor is responsible for a whole host of Reality TV nobodies I could care less about, and I do believe that both Oprah and Paris can take credit for the likes of Jon and Kate, The Kardassians, and those hos with whole reality shows based on their boring selves, Jerry Springer gets it for Daisy and those real Housewives and William Hung is responsible for Susan Boyle.

Rid the world of these people and we shall be free.
NOT MARKY MARK - REPEAT: NOT MARKY MARK - he's an innocent victim as are the rest of us:)

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

Team Valtrex's picture

Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:33pm.

I find out more shit about people whom I have no idea who they are lately running rampant on television and on gossip blog sites.
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Team Valtrex, for instance!

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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Candy's picture

Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:33pm.
!!!!!!

I never said she wasn't. I only mentioned Bridget because she's been unfairly accused of having a baby to try and keep a man. Lets say Jen wound up pregnant next week by a casual boyfriend and it didn't work out. Everyone knows all hell would break loose. She'd be accused of much worse than what Bridget was accused of.

I think that folks need to lay off about her love life. I actually admire the fact that she didn't feel the need to run out and get another ring on her finger to feel validated or to run to a fertility clinic to procreate.


蜘龍====================龍蜘

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(='.'=)
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Uncle Ashtray's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:29pm.
So true, UA: I'm starting to understand why etiquette included so many harsh rules about what we can and cannot talk about...we needed to lift those to get past some barriers but I'm thinking we're, pretty much, ready to put those back into effect right about now!
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Let's start with Farrah's kid, Lohan's little sister, Palin's daughter, and BritBrit's little sister.........I mean , honestly, are any of them really news worthy?
I find out more shit about people whom I have no idea who they are lately running rampant on television and on gossip blog sites.

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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs

Hotmami's picture

Submitted by Candy on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:39pm.
Now she's a lesbian because she was smart enough not to get knocked up in an unstable relationship?? Damned if you do, damned if you don't. You guys would be calling her the next Bridget Monayhan(sp?) if she got pregnant and the relationship did not work out. I'm wondering what it takes to please some of you looney fuckers. This woman can do nothing right just because you like the bitch that interfered in her marriage. You make make no sense.

Hmm...I was under the impression that Angie was hated on this website.

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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!

angel_i's picture

So true, UA: I'm starting to understand why etiquette included so many harsh rules about what we can and cannot talk about...we needed to lift those to get past some barriers but I'm thinking we're, pretty much, ready to put those back into effect right about now!

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

Uncle Ashtray's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:23pm.
I will admit tho that I do, secretly, wish she'd get married so everyone would shut the fuck up about it:)
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AGREED!
..........and the gays too. Let 'em get married so we don't have to hear about that shit any longer also.

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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs

angel_i's picture

I will admit tho that I do, secretly, wish she'd get married so everyone would shut the fuck up about it:)

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

xerquina's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:13pm.

Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:09pm.
i just love how you correlate having a life to live with having a man.you don't need a relationship to be happy and live life.
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I think you misunderstood me. I don't at all. ACTUALLY, I just made a decision for my own self to never get married. Maybe Jen did the same. *shrugs* I dunno. I was actually refuting the argument that there must be something wrong with her. I was saying: No - that's just how it's all going down for her: C'est la vie.
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sorry i must've read it wrong, that was my drink typing lol.everyone has their prerogative on marriage or kids so good on ya and aniston i guess.i guess i'm too young(and/or careless) to understand both...

angel_i's picture

@Candy: O...see now, that's loonie talk. He lost me at "Jen was Brad's beard" I was like, *YAWN* well, THAT's not going anywhere but to fantasy land...and I don't know that guy so I don't know if fantasy land is good or not. I was skimming out for my funny ho friends:) Mostly, becuz I can't even believe this woman's relationship status is considered news.

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

angel_i's picture

Submitted by xerquina on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 11:09pm.
i just love how you correlate having a life to live with having a man.you don't need a relationship to be happy and live life.
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I think you misunderstood me. I don't at all. ACTUALLY, I just made a decision for my own self to never get married. Maybe Jen did the same. *shrugs* I dunno. I was actually refuting the argument that there must be something wrong with her. I was saying: No - that's just how it's all going down for her: C'est la vie.

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

xerquina's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:59pm.

Yeah, I really don't think it's physical...I can't imagine any man NOT wanting that for a wife...

But, hey! Maybe she just really loved Brad. And he's the only one she's loved so far. Maybe she just hasn't found anyone to love since then...or she did find John but he was just too, too douchey (which makes me more certain that Brad must be a shallow, emotional abuser) and, you know, here she is - without a mate, just cuz she hasn't found one yet. That, actually, only makes her human. And MAYBE in the meantime, she's playing beard becuz it keeps the "pathetic" talk (which, loonie or not, if there's enuff of them, can't be good for her career) to a minimum. Still just another human being with a life to live as best she can.
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i just love how you correlate having a life to live with having a man.you don't need a relationship to be happy and live life.

Candy's picture

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:54pm.
Submitted by Candy on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:39pm.

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Yea. I saw it on this page when I posted. I couldn't be further than page 2 by now.

Here it is:

Submitted by Predator24 on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:31pm.
Submitted by putas on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 7:13pm.
Esposito dumped this hot piece b/c she caught him with a man.
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Got me thinking...Brad was just Jen's beard.
Explains why no babies since you have to actually have sex (don't give me that test tube BS, Brad didn't want his spawn living with the knowledge that they came from that spider cave from The Lord of the Rings.) Jen's lezzieness pushed Brad to the Medusa vagina of Angelina and his martyrdom. But Jen moved onto nothing but sexually ambiguous guys Mayer is just the latest. Most guys who (supposedly) fuck tons of chicks are compensating for their fear of acknowledging their own love of the peen into puckered glazed donut hole activities.


蜘龍====================龍蜘

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(='.'=)
(")_(")

angel_i's picture

To be honest, I prolly have more respect for her just staying single than marrying the next five guys that came along tryna get it right.

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

angel_i's picture

Yeah, I really don't think it's physical...I can't imagine any man NOT wanting that for a wife...

But, hey! Maybe she just really loved Brad. And he's the only one she's loved so far. Maybe she just hasn't found anyone to love since then...or she did find John but he was just too, too douchey (which makes me more certain that Brad must be a shallow, emotional abuser) and, you know, here she is - without a mate, just cuz she hasn't found one yet. That, actually, only makes her human. And MAYBE in the meantime, she's playing beard becuz it keeps the "pathetic" talk (which, loonie or not, if there's enuff of them, can't be good for her career) to a minimum. Still just another human being with a life to live as best she can.

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Candy on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 10:39pm.

Now she's a lesbian because she was smart enough not to get knocked up in an unstable relationship??
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Did someone say that? I can't find it. Everyone's saying HE's gay, no?

♥ ThreadKilla!
"So, I'm sorry - but no. Whatever happened to that head of yours: it's not our fault," she said...That's what the President of Hollywood said to Britney Spears!~Chris Rock

Uncle Ashtray's picture

Jennifer Aniston?............Yeah, I'd finger her

================================================
"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4-r2MpRMs

xerquina's picture

i like her tyrannosaurus rex pose...but it ain't sexy.

My first impression of Brad Cooper was on Alias years ago and I thought ..."why did they hook a sistah up with a gay" I kinda saw the previous episodes and thought why did they turn that dude from gay to straight. My rambling old lady point is that I think he's gay. I saw him in later stuff and did not remember it was the same actor.. but looking back... I thought he was gay...

Team Valtrex's picture

OMG, they weren't canoodling were they?

I'd canoodle the shit out of her.

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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Candy's picture

Now she's a lesbian because she was smart enough not to get knocked up in an unstable relationship?? Damned if you do, damned if you don't. You guys would be calling her the next Bridget Monayhan(sp?) if she got pregnant and the relationship did not work out. I'm wondering what it takes to please some of you looney fuckers. This woman can do nothing right just because you like the bitch that interfered in her marriage. You make make no sense.


蜘龍====================龍蜘

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Life's picture

right fuckin now i'm trying to watch "Marley & Me", havent seen Jenn in a while and i'm so fucking sorry to see that Jenn has had NOTICABLE plastic surgery of her nose that takes away from what I LOVED about her!! She has lost her stage presence, her cute funny clown face, etc.... trying to appear more, i guess,, desirable??? OMFG! she sounds very stuffy along with that over kill tan, she sounds as thou she cant breathe anymore because the doc made her breathing airways too narrow when he attempted to slim up her nose, it even shows in her puffy eyes and her profile shots look too doll like, too fake! it looks like she's been crying a lot during the filming of this flick.,, wow! i would too after selling my soul to the plastic diablo!! awwwh, she was my favorite too! fuck! so fake now, so sad~ so far this movie sucks just like her acting in this movie, why???? oh why Jenn? please dont get with this one but u dont know how to pick em anyway even thou u were born with a silver spoon in your vagina, too bad u cant find the right guy to use it with:)

"The More You Know, The Less You Need"

Paquita's picture

Submitted by Jakey_G on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:26pm.

Submitted by Jakey_G on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:35pm.
Heh. Time to bring out the turkey baster. I remember this guy when he was at the New School. He's as gay as a cocker spaniel. Lostsa luck Jen.
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WAIT!! I happen to own a cocker spaniel and he is quite the stud! Mah dog is no gaeee

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"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK

But.Seriously.Folks's picture

Isn't Bradley Cooper rumored to have slapped Jennifer Esposito around on multiple occasions? Um, Jen, how 'bout you just let a good friend hook you up. Sweetie you have no man picking skills whatsoever.

Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON

Submitted by K2 on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 9:23pm.

Oh stop it with the " if she wanted babies she'd have had them by now" bullshit! seriously - get a life. not everyone wants to have children out of wedlock and NOT everyone wants to adopt. Just b/c every other celebrity jumps on the adoption bandwagon doesn't mean she has to. Who the fuck does she have to prove herself to anyway? She's single, she's divorced, she's been scorn and she has picked a few doozies since her divorce. Give the bitch a chance to regroup, be alone and figure herself out. She's had 2 public relationships since the divorce (4 years ago)... neither of them worked out and now all of a sudden she's a leper that drives men away. Spare me the stupidity.

By the way, the lezzie card is really getting out of hand. Is this what they call women that DON'T run out marry and start a family with men they barely know? She doesn't need to settle ... so why would she?
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beautifully said!

Jakey_G's picture

Submitted by Jakey_G on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:35pm.
Heh. Time to bring out the turkey baster. I remember this guy when he was at the New School. He's as gay as a cocker spaniel. Lostsa luck Jen.

According to Wiki he was married briefly to Jennifer Esposito....then supposedly dating Cameron Diaz....maybe bisexual.

No sorry. He was out and proud when he was NY. Well maybe not proud, but definetely out. He went into the closet when he started to get noticed in Hollywood. The ladies are strictly for show.

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Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.

Oh stop it with the " if she wanted babies she'd have had them by now" bullshit! seriously - get a life. not everyone wants to have children out of wedlock and NOT everyone wants to adopt. Just b/c every other celebrity jumps on the adoption bandwagon doesn't mean she has to. Who the fuck does she have to prove herself to anyway? She's single, she's divorced, she's been scorn and she has picked a few doozies since her divorce. Give the bitch a chance to regroup, be alone and figure herself out. She's had 2 public relationships since the divorce (4 years ago)... neither of them worked out and now all of a sudden she's a leper that drives men away. Spare me the stupidity.

By the way, the lezzie card is really getting out of hand. Is this what they call women that DON'T run out marry and start a family with men they barely know? She doesn't need to settle ... so why would she?

Manimal5's picture

Submitted by Jakey_G on Thu, 05/07/2009 - 8:35pm.
Heh. Time to bring out the turkey baster. I remember this guy when he was at the New School. He's as gay as a cocker spaniel. Lostsa luck Jen.

According to Wiki he was married briefly to Jennifer Esposito....then supposedly dating Cameron Diaz....maybe bisexual.

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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.

lizardo911's picture

She needs to go far, far away and get a life. She is such a vain, superficial witch.

z-listed's picture

Why doesn't she just head off to a sperm bank and ask if they have any donors named BRAD???