John Mayer Is Smooth
John Mayer really does have the perfect lines for picking up pussy. Jesse James (not the creepy hot piece married to Sandra Bullock, but some pop singer wannabe with dusty eyebrows) told WFAN Sports Radio (via Page Six) that she met John at some bar in Manhattan. John immediately zeroed in on Jesse and invited her and some other hos back to where the magic dies, his apartment.
Jesse said, "We were all hanging out and everyone started to gradually leave. It was just he and I at this point. I told him, 'I need some taxi money, I'm gonna go home now.'" Taxi money?! Jesse totally graduated from the School of Class and Tact, right? With honors! The last time I asked a fuck friend for money, I suddenly found myself on the street without taxi money and without my pants. Um. Earth to fucking Jesse! Every skilled ho knows you have to get the cash from his wallet while he's taking a piss. Stupid amateur!
Anyway, Jesse gave John his number and he used it liberally, "He texted me throughout the entire night while I was at the hotel room, leaving messages like, 'Let me tuck you in. I want to see you.'"
"Let me tuck you in" is doucheanese for "I want to ass-to-mouth you", right? And you know Jesse totally let him.
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~LUCY~
I went on the mayercraft carrier 2, I know, I know...I was on board and went to the photo place to purchase a new camera and got to talking to one of the crew members and not a one of them knew who John Mayer was! I was a little caught off guard by this, but shrugged it off. I had asked him if he had run into "John" at all or met him and he said "yes" as he made a face, he said that he was nasty to him and he other crew members and that when they were on his floor cleaning him room as they passed by him they were told "don't look at me"! by John HIMSELF!!! that poor crew man...he called John the "Biggest asshole diva"! I felt bad for the crew, they don't even know who John Mayer is...JOHN,if you read this, the Carnival Cruise crew members do NOT know who YOU are, O.K.? so quit being more douch-e then u already are! b/c not one crew member knew who you were alright....nor do they ever need to. Congrats! To John Mayer: the Biggest Diva Douche Award! DA DA DA DAAAAA! LOL
I went to school with Jessie James and I am more than happy to see her being written off with insults and puns. She thought she was hot shit her senior year because she was working on an 'album' when she really should have been watching whose dicks she was sitting on and how thick her eyebrows were.
Her grammar is correct but her taste in men is atrocious! John Mayer is a total douche!
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I didn't realize we had a grammar war raging, so just let me interject how you determine if your pronoun usage is correct, cuz ain't no one got it right yet, that I saw.
It IS "he and I". You say the sentence backwards and without the 'and'. He was it. I was it. It was he and I. Not correct if you use 'him was it' or 'her was it'. So you see, "It was just he and I." is the correct usage. One of my elementary school teachers taught the class this trick.
She had me at the second sentence. I thought, "DAMN! Bitch knows how to use pronouns correctly! SHIT!". Then the ho' axed fo'"taxi money". Another disappointment.
She didn't know him very well, yet she allowed herself to be left alone with him in his hotel room? Smart girl.
Submitted by DonkeyPunched on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 2:41pm.
I keep hearing that John Mayer is a big, sissy 'mo.
Anyone care to confirm or elaborate?
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I can confirm this. My friend met him said he was a pathetic, narcissistic, self absorbed, whiny asshole. She left without sex or cab fare.
You are all wrong...it is "Us peoples wuz the only ones left"
Yup, in this case "He and I" is the way to go. I guess this dumb skank is not as dumb as she looks.
Come to think of it, it is Mayer, so I guess he should count himself lucky that his estrogen filled music gets him laid in the first place. Still, downgrade... He should have stayed with Aniston who is easier on the eyes. He should come out of the closet though.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:27pm.
Sheeps knows more about English grammar then anyone I know. My money's on him.
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ITA....he could've written the book on the subject.
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It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.
Michael K. you are off the hook for this post, it had me in tears!!!! HAHA!
Submitted by modianos on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:35pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:28pm.
You guys are seriously arguing about grammar? Seriously? I SEEN THAT!
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oh sugar! just carve my heart out why doncha!
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Sorry, Modi! I ate edamame for lunch and now I gots the bloats. Me ornery.
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Submitted by ricki lake on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:26pm.
Ugh, "he and I" is a predicate nominative, which I guess would be subjective case. I ain't so big-headed that I can't admit when I'm wronge. Touche, Hysteria.
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lmao@predicate nominative, hahaaa!!
hats off to you, ricki. you is one hell of a gal. and that be the twooth.
;)
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Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:28pm.
You guys are seriously arguing about grammar? Seriously? I SEEN THAT!
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oh sugar! just carve my heart out why doncha!
oh, im not arguing. im right :) sorry sheeps...i hope this doesnt mean the weddin is off!
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a big cup o yum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B435SzgfRk
Me be hungry with all this thinking.
You guys are seriously arguing about grammar? Seriously? I SEEN THAT! Fuck you muchly! MUAH!
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I do not celebrate the death of any man, but Satan does. When OJ Simpson dies, a number-one draft pick will have finally arrived.
Lol, but 'wronge' is definitely spelled with an e!!! You can't argue with me there!!!! Haha
Sheeps knows more about English grammar then anyone I know. My money's on him.
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Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
~Kissinger
Shout out to Ricki Lake...I am a stickler for grammar and used to write as a hobby. I didn't even *notice* the flaw here.
Hey, back in the day when I was a kinda party girl, they would *give* us the cab money; who had to ask??
Submitted by ricki lake on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 3:14pm.
ricki, just back off. step away from the computer. you are only embarrassing yourself more.
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Ugh, "he and I" is a predicate nominative, which I guess would be subjective case. I ain't so big-headed that I can't admit when I'm wronge. Touche, Hysteria.
Ugh. This is why grammar is best left to those who KNOW and not those who 'think.' It is not the subjective case because the 'he and I' she used is the object, not the subject of the sentence. If the sentence were "John and Jesse went to the store," then yes, it would be "He and I went to the store." Unfortunately, in the sentence "It was just he and I at this point," 'It' is the subject of the sentence and the 'he and I' pronouns are the object, and objective case is used. The correct form would be "him and me."
Thanks to everyone for today's grammar lesson. I long for the days when people used to (or tried to) write properly, both formally and informally. Nowadays it's all text message language and lazy tongues.
(I aint no grammarologist either, just sayin'.)
Her eyebrows are gross.
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 2:53pm.
Thank you, Gentleman Sheeps. You do have a clue.
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Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 2:53pm.
I have such a crush on you right now, you have no Idea....
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
LMAO!
I was at the AZ Diamondbacks game last night and they announced this Jesse James chick was there. Literally, no clapped, you could here the crickets chirp and no figure out who the fuck this ho was.
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Playing Russian Roulette with a Glock is a very hard game to win.
Reading "let me tuck you in" just gave me a strong douchechill. *fidgets uncomfortably*
JJ's got some really furry eyebrows.
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"Let me tuck you in" is doucheanese for "I want to ass-to-mouth you", right?" MK 5/14/09
It is hilarious when idiots are so earnest.
lmfao!
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One comment before ducking and running: I think Hysteria has it right, even tho it sounds stuck up. When someone says, "Who is it?" the correct, pedantic answer is, "It is I." It's the subjective case because, as Hysteria said, it's a "be" linking verb. No one talks that way informally, of course, cuz they'd get kicked in the ass a lot. But the subjective case is the right case.
You could recast her sentence as follows and it would mean exactly the same thing: "He and I were the only ones left at that point." "It was" is just an empty preamble to the actual compound subject, "he and I." (There's a fancy grammar term for such empty preambles which I forget right now.)
"Him and me" (the objective case) are not the object of "It was," any more than "It was a bird" makes "bird" the object.
Submitted by modianos on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 2:19pm.
Ahem, grammar dorks:
When the 'be' verb is used (is/was/are), the correct case is subjective: "he" and "I" not "him" and "me." Her usage is correct.
oh, i love being a douche sometimes too.
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*BUZZER SOUND* awwww! thanks for playing. better luck next time.
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Oh, for fucks sake. I see you only just passed Freshman English.
The subjective case "He and I" is correct when using the "to be" verbs (is, was, are, etc).
Remember the correct way of answering the phone?
"Yes, it is I."
Look it up dumbshits.
Oynk!
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Thanks, Ricki and Medianos! I think I'll be able to remember that.
"'Let me tuck you in. I want to see you.'"
When I first read this, I thought it said, "Let me fuck you in." Which sounds entirely John Mayer-ish.
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"If it were up to Fiona, she'd lock the toddlers in the church basement with a big batch of peanut butter cookies and a sack full of marbles and see who managed to make it out alive."
KD ill try to explain it the best i can which you can see isnt very well lol with whom will you be dining? the answer would be ill be dining with HIM. who will have coffee? HE will. him = whom and he = who. missy can probably explain it better lol
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a big cup o yum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B435SzgfRk
There is a simple trick to tell whether it should be 'who' or 'whom.' Substitute 'he/she' or 'him/her' into the sentence in place of the 'who/whom,' and and if 'he/she' is correct you are looking for 'who.' If 'him/her' is correct it should be 'whom.' This is because 'who' always refers to the subject (but isn't always at the beginning of the sentence), and 'whom' refers to the object. If you have to reverse the order of a couple words it is ok, as long as you do not change the actualy structure of the sentence.
I keep hearing that John Mayer is a big, sissy 'mo.
Anyone care to confirm or elaborate?
Yes, Missy and Medianos are correct. He and I may sound right, but it's not. The main grammar thing I always get confused on is when to say who and when to say whom. I keep forgetting.
LOL @ ricki basking in hysteria's supposed embarassment
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Oh Hysteria. How deliciously embarassing for you. Time to chuck you onto the bonfire along with Jesse James, I guess.
what missy said, so much more succinctly than i :)
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a big cup o yum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B435SzgfRk
ill explain an easy way to know. take yourself out of the sentence. "it was just he and I at this point" for example..."it was just me at this point". see how "it was just i at this point" wouldnt make sense? and yes, this will be on the test.
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a big cup o yum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B435SzgfRk
no I think its "him and me"
"Jesse said, "We were all hanging out and everyone started to gradually leave. It was just he and I at this point."
Cause you wouldn't say 'It was just I at this point." Youd say "it was just me."
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
These attention ho's deserve each other. I think Mayer lives to be in the tabloids. What Jen A. was thinking when she let him into her life is beyond me.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 2:19pm.
Ahem, grammar dorks:
When the 'be' verb is used (is/was/are), the correct case is subjective: "he" and "I" not "him" and "me." Her usage is correct.
oh, i love being a douche sometimes too.
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*BUZZER SOUND* awwww! thanks for playing. better luck next time.
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a big cup o yum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B435SzgfRk
Maybe he meant to say he wants to ''tuck it in''?
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"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
This has to be a lie. I don't think he puts that much effort into it. I think his pickup line is something of the "Hey, wanna fuck?" variety.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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This will make you happy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvBw3qamhSc
Submitted by modianos on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 1:54pm.
Submitted by MtlMama on Thu, 05/14/2009 - 1:45pm.
I always love when they use things like "he and I" to make them sound smarter.
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lmao me too! love how it has the opposite effect since its WRONG. him and me jesse, him and me...hit him up for grammar book money next time...you totally deserve it!
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Ahem, grammar dorks:
When the 'be' verb is used (is/was/are), the correct case is subjective: "he" and "I" not "him" and "me." Her usage is correct.
oh, i love being a douche sometimes too.
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I've never understood the appeal of this guy. His songs stink, he's not that good looking, and he seems like a complete d-bag. It's the trifecta of suckage.
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"Are you coming or going? Or, are you coming, and then going? Or, are you coming and staying?" --Brian Kinney