Good News For Bronx Mowgli
The sun is shining on Bronx Mowgli, because if this shit is true, he might not have the worst name in the Wentz-Simpson family for long! Star Magazine (via Ace Showbiz) is saying that Asshole Simpson is knocked up with her second babeh. Don't ask me how Ass and Pete continue to make babies together, because there's no way he has ever put his penis into her vagina. Every time he tries, he probably giggles so hard that he goes pee pee. And unless you're Kim Kardashian, piss on the pussay is a total mood killer.
Some source said that the new emofetus has only been marinating in there for a few weeks. Ass is apparently thrilled, because she thinks she will give birth to a magical Band-Aid that will fix her shitty marriage. The source went on, "She loves Pete and wants to hang on to him. She believes this second baby will really clinch the deal. He (Pete) thinks a second kid could change things for the worse. He doesn't want to be tied down and stuck at home all the time."
Everyone knows babies fix fucked up marriages! Their diarrhea is like glue! And their neverending screeches in the night is like a romantic lullaby that will make your husband fall in love with you all over again.
But who cares about that? I just care about the name! I hope they stick with the same theme.... I'm thinking Staten Island Baloo? New Jersey Turnpike Kaa? Queensborough Bridge King Louie? Or maybe Papa Joe will step up his baby whoring game and go for something like People Magazine Gerber Wentz-Simpson?
Here's the two prime candidates for sterilization at a T-Mobile event last night.
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BTW, I saw bronx or whatever the other day, i thought he was cute but, he didn't look like pete to me. He looked like Joe. Now, of course he will some but he looked so much like him and i have a sick mind and it just makes me think sick things with how he is with his daughters esp jessica. Of course I know it's obviously pete's child and not grandad's cause first of all it's healthy looking but ashlee's dad needs to act normal so people like me don't wonder things like that.
People, Asslee has always been more dumb than Jessica. I watched her reality show, homegirl is whiny and way more dumb and way more socially awkward than Jessica could ever dream of being. I mean, at first she seems more smart, but then after awhile you realize that she can just cover up her stupidity a little longer than jessica can when really she is more dumb. Seriously....She is more annoying than jessica in the end. You just aren't exposed to her as much cause her family feels the same way lol and they feel jessica is more marketable
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Christopher Street Evil Queen Simpson-Wentz.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
HA! Staten Island Baloo!
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"You can lead a whore to culture,
But you can't stop her from throwing a glass of vodka at it." -DEB
"Every time he tries, he probably giggles so hard that he goes pee pee."
Jeez MK... people at work keep looking at me when I bust my ass laughing.... I LOVE IT!!! Don't you ever die!!!
Joisey Mooshpit Hairlip Boogaloo
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
What a good reason to bring a kid into the world to trap a person. I think Ashley is more stupid than her sis.
Hope this is true and that it means she has to drop out of Melrose Place redux.
Asslee looks desperate and stupid with her collagen inflated lips here. Pete Wentz is a MEGA-douche, I mean he impregnated her AND gave the baby a dumb ass name. He SHOULD pay the price (as in alimony and child support) for getting this dumb trick preggers YET AGAIN! IF she is that is. Who knows?
I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog's balls than sit on a jury.
New Jersey Turnpike Kaa? That shit made me laugh so hard i almost choked on my hot coco.
At least my favorite NY neighborhood and then favorite disney character create a nice name: Broadway Beauty.
The thing about this article that gives me pause is the "emo baby has been in there for a few weeks." At a few weeks, few women know they're pregnant and they def aren't telling anybody.
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Most women know by 4-5 weeks, and a few weeks could mean anything really. A lot of people like to tell right away, some will even show you the pee stick if you're unlucky enough.
Not to say this story is true, just pointing out that it's not any less likely just by the statement made.
I feel for the kid if it is true. Its father will resent it for tying him down more, its mom will be pissed that it didn't save the marriage we all knew would go down the crapper anyway, and the poor kid will be stuck with a godawful name and these two as parents either way. Fun stuff.
Bed-Stuy Babar Simpson-Wentz...or
Buffalo Goldilocks Simpson-Wentz
Butt Ugly Plastic Surgey Nauseating Simpson-Wentz
all GREAT names...for a grotesque couple..my condolences to the poor baby!
If that's true, then she's even dumber than her sister. Ohyes, I said it. Everyone with half a brain knows that band-aid babies never work and the poor kids are the ones who get blamed by their dumbass parents.
The thing about this article that gives me pause is the "emo baby has been in there for a few weeks." At a few weeks, few women know they're pregnant and they def aren't telling anybody... yet after all, this is a doltish pop tart with a gay douchebag hubby, so I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaking of which, just how much does he need to drink before he gets anywhere near her vajayjay?
I really think that before anyone should be allowed to marry - let alone spawn - they should be forced to have premarital counseling. It would weed out most of the stupid.
Just when I thought my day couldn't get anymore grosser...
Asswipe should talk to K8 and Douche on how that litter of Fert Trophies solidified their marriage.
A name....
Rikers Roo Simpson Wentz.
(Roo from Winnie the Pooh).
I don't think they'll pick another Kipling Character. A. A. Milne is scared.
*If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.*
-=Lenny Bruce=-
Peculiar Piglet Simpson-Wentz
This is the most fun I've had today.
And I'm totally going to start calling my son 'Bucksnort'!
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I'd consider following Jesus Christ if he were on Twitter.
Ladyboner Zebra Simpson-Wentz (either gender)
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
haha ok its active but its umm. been sort of changed. i need to fix some things..like you cant see anything cuase i guess there are loads of dead links. i shall do this later and add you :) (otherwise you wont be able to navigate around said page cuase well. the links are shaded out hahaha)
Anita Valtrex Meow Wentz.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
I hope this rumor isn't true, for the sake of the theoretical emofetus. She has the eyes of a drugged zombie.
ZOMG-DBLPOST.
Agnon Stunkvania Pinkfumble Aromatica Tonsil-Feisty Bwamba-Gah Doomba Hammer-twaddle Simpson-Wentz
Exhausting.
Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 12:00pm.
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Sounds good!
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It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.
Submitted by The C word on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:30am.
Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:24am.
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haha i am, if they havent closed my account. i havent been on in ages!
perhaps i should pop over and check it out.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:27am.
Kraft Sweet Pickle Relish Tennis Cans Simpson-Wentz
HEY NOW
that's the name of our next poo baby!
and no, I don't want the liquor that pours from your bunghole.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Staten Island Baloo.
Classic, MK.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:36am.
Chiquta banana hammock Wentz
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Hahahahahahaahh! Chiquita Banana Hammock! Hahahahahahahahah!
Talentless Narcissist Simpson-Wentz (It's very upscale European).
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You are who you think you are.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:35am.
Mahmommy Andaddy Suckhot Balls-Wentz
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Patty Imogen Sally Shirley Frances Leona Ann Peggy Simpson.
( Hope she never has to initialize anything )
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FIIIIIIRRRRRSSSSSTTTTTT 4EVA !!!!!
Pepsco NAPA Nabisco Simpson-Wentz
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"Keyboard Cat is the new black." -RecessVillain
Boy - GooseLips Eggznbacon Frogstench Simpson
Girl - Marge
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FIIIIIIRRRRRSSSSSTTTTTT 4EVA !!!!!
Ben Nova TaDumpster Peppermint Rhino Simpson-Wentz.
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You are who you think you are.
Thousaaand Island Dressing Big Mac Simpson-Wentz
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Soho Greenwich Chinatown SouthStreet Seaport Buttback Simpson-Wentz
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♪I don't care how bad I fuck up, I care about how fucked up I get♫-NOFX
~GIT IT!! -MK 4/24/09
"I began to live my life when it forced me to stop taking it so seriously"-Hunter S. Thompson
Ghetto Mozambique Tarantula Wentz
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:35am.
Mahmommy Andaddy Suckhot Balls-Wentz
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Best one right there!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Maybelline Eyesocket Wentz
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Chiquta banana hammock Wentz
Jessica is going to puncture Romo's bean bag and siphon his babby batter into her sarlac pit because she won't be able to deal with this fuckery!!!
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Only 3% of the US money supply exists as physical currency. The remaining 97% is digital.
Just so you know.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7065205277695921912
Marcel Marceau Homolicious Turkeybaster Simpson-Wentz...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
Leaders dream and talk.
Subordinates plan and do...
Mahmommy Andaddy Suckhot Balls-Wentz
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100% DMBAS
Hamper stinker Wentz
Flushing Meadows Balu Simpson-Wentz ?
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"Keyboard Cat is the new black." -RecessVillain
Thanks Crazy
1 more
MUFASA MANHATTAN EFFOFF JOESIMPSON WENTZ
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le papa est un morceau de merde Wentz
Bed-Sty Shere Khan Simpson-Wentz.
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"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Submitted by greenfinch on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:24am.
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Are you on MySpace?
OnT: REALLY hoping they read this. If not, we need to compile these names into a book and send it to them.
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It's Dee's fault that I learned how to make the ♥ thingy. And I promised her I'd use it excessively.
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 11:28am.
Hackensack Emolicious Wentz.
Hahahahahahaha! Hackensack!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Bobby Buttmuch Homefry Willy Simpson-Wentz!
I could do this all fucking day!!!
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Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Hackensack Emolicious Wentz.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............