The Title Is As Dumb As Her
It made sense when MTV made a documentary on Our Lady of Cheetos. Yeah, it was propaganda, but it was still pretty entertaining. I mean, Velveeta grits? Need I say more? MTV's newest documentary follows a wet piece of dog caca laying out in the hot sun. For some reason, they felt like the world wanted to know more about the half-melted dildo known as Parasite Hilton. I'd rather watch a documentary on cornstarch. Shit, I'd rather watch a documentary on the day-to-day life of her herp warts. That shit would be more riveting.
This summer MTV is airing a documentary called Paris, Not France. And I'm sure the whole thing fails on an epic scale just like the title. It's shot in black and white, so that means it's all serious-like and deep! And she mostly uses her bit dude voice instead of her whory baby voice, so that means we should take her seriously now.
In trailer above, the dumb whore does nothing but whine about how the world sees her as "as Barbie with a perfect life, a fantasy...whatever." The difference is we actually respect Barbie. Bitch can fly planes and shit, but Parasite can't even suck a dick right!
And here's a vomit-covered gem I leave you with: “That's not what I wanted when I was a little girl. It's not what I planned. I always looked up to people like Princess Diana and now I can never be like that.”
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WTF is this bitch's problem TODAY?
She still CAN be like a princess. SHE CAN DIE IN A TUNNEL IN PARIS OR DRIVE OFF CLIFF IN MONACO.
Why doesn't MTV just take the "M" off of its name altogether? Why even continue the charade of having anything whatsoever to do with music when they keep giving irrelevant entities like this airtime?
We don't get MTV Hits up here in Canada. Is that something like the old MTV that actually played videos, or have Wonky, Tila, Brody and Ray J infested it as well with their stank?
just watching 30 seconds of this preview made me furious.
PARIS YOU ARE NOT ANY MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY OTHER LIVING, BREATHING, SHITTING THING ON THIS GREEN EARTH!
YOU ARE A FUCKING JOKE AND THE LAUGH'S ON YOU!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Is this alleged documentary (bwhaa ha ha ha!) going to cover the fact that Wonky has more dogs than the local ordinance allows; yet she hasn't been fined and/or arrested?
I hope her neighbors sue the shit out of her for the noisy party she threw, and the vandalism her scumbag friends did to the neighbor's cars.
i'm going to be optimistic on this dreary monday and say that paris and her beyond 15 minutes is coming to an end. i'm not sure anyone cares about this biatch anymore. i'm hoping everyone follows suit with lohan too!
It is a shame what MTV has become, a vehicle for Paris Hilton to throw herself at the public. A documentary and a second helping of that shit show, Paris Hilton is My BBF! What I really resent the most is the fact that the bitch gets paid for this stuff. Who, and I want answers- WHO WATCHES THIS STUFF? Why does anyone even like her? UGH!!!!!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Oh shit! speaking of rich losers, my guy and I went out to dinner last night, and GREASY BEAR was there! He is pretty short, and skinny......and GREASY.
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"Lindsay is a good person to have watch over Ali right now"
-Dina Lohan
Paris is so delusional. Last I saw Barbie's don't have a wonky eye, a beak-penis nose and a curveless body. If she wants people to see the "real" her why doesn't she take out the blue contacts and white extensions. She made this shit to try to get people to care and to seem relevant again. Because people are definitely getting over her. At least on the adult scale, anyway. Tweens might still like her. The comments over at Perez are mixed. I liked the one that said "You all worship Marilyn and she was no better than Paris!" Yes, Marilyn was also a slut and a fuck-up, but she had two things Paris never will--classic beauty and talent. Marilyn also had a tragic upbringing with foster homes and an insane mother--something Paris will never know from her priveleged childhood as a spoiled rich girl who her parents called "Star" and told her she would be famous every day.
Damn, you know you've sunk to an all-time low when you're actually spending your time and money making a documentary on Paris Hilton. Methinks the Hilton family commissioned this little gem.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
I've never heard her "real" voice before. Do you think she was born intersexed, and her pink maribou'ing - micro miniskirting - lip glossing - string bikini'ing - high heeling - sex taping - cooter flashing - "sultry" posing ways are just ... OVERCOMPENSATION? Because that is trannyvoice if I ever heard it.
she is so talented! those blowjob lips and come-to-bed eyes. but is she an heiress? doesn't someone have to die first for her to inherit something?
paris, i know you're reading this - you go, girl. keep doing that thing you do, you know, posing and ... um ... all that stuff.
There's a book out called Six Degrees of Paris Hilton, and it definitely does NOT paint a pretty little picture of this stupid bitch. It's about how gross, slimey and pathetic alot of Hollywood has become. I haven't gotten to read it yet, but I assume it'd be more believe than this crock of shit.
You can't trust a bitch with fugly eyebrows who teaches salsa dancing on reality TV --MK
she is just pissed no one gives a shit about her anymore. Stupid, spoiled whore.
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"Lindsay is a good person to have watch over Ali right now"
-Dina Lohan
Bitch, please. How does it feel now that your fantasy bubble has burst?
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Paris needs to read the book SILLY LITTLE RICH GIRL.
"I always looked up to people like Princess Diana and now I can never be like that."
Because at some point she had a chance of being like Princess Di?
Did I miss something? She's a hwore who's grandpappy owns hotels, how does this get her to Princess Di levels?
And is it really in black & white? Cunt.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Paris looked up to Princess Diana because she was blonde, beautiful, rich and famous.
Not because of any of the worthwhile things she did.
And now she wonders why she turned out to be a vacuous whore?
Bitch please!
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The New Improved Wyle E
"Give this ho a Sharpie!"
I refuse to watch this whore. no way
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Honest to God I had a dream (more like a nightmare) last night about Paris Hilton.
I dreampt I was hired to be her chaperone at an event, and all she kept doing was flashing her cooter at people.
I kept threatening to tell her father about it and one of her friends (in the dream) said "That's OK, everyone has seen her cunt already, he won't care"
For real! I really dreampt that shit!
Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 8:07am.
No, I want to watch and laugh at her, too. She's so fake and so contrived that any sadness she attempts to emote is only a ploy for sympathy.
Submitted by boomsy on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 8:07am.
Am I the only one curious to see how awful she thinks her life is so I can further hate her for being a stupid spoiled whore?
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Parisite makes me violent. If I watch it, I may start throwing things at the t.v. screen, screaming profanity so loud, the neighbors will have my ass arrested.
This will be yet more material for South Park. The "Stupid, Spoiled Whore" episode was delicious.
No freaking way. Really? Is this a 'poor little rich girl' documentary? PUH-LEASE! I would venture to say that IN THIS ECONOMY, this isn't the best documentary to come up with. Millions of people are losing jobs, homes, what have you, and we are supposed to feel sorry for this bitch because she finally realized that people (rightly) think she's a whore?
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
I looked up to smart beautiful women and everyone sees me as a whore
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by Helena on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 8:38am.
Not sure how Paris Hilton as a subject for some thesis on modern pop culture makes you feel sorry for her.
She made millions off of the carefully crafted image she put out there. She wants us to hate her, envy her and buy her crap.
Of all the people to feel sorry for or to have empathy for in this life, Paris Hilton is not one of them.
I've always thought she was a filthy, vacuous cooze, but then I read this the chapter called "One Night in Paris (Hilton): Wealth, Celebrity, and the Politics of Humiliation" from the scholarly book Pop-porn: Pornography in American Culture (eds. Ann C. Hall, Mardia J. Bishop) and now I just feel sorry for her. The article is available on google books, if you're interested (it's just text, so it's SFW): http://tinyurl.com/pjwtal
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Halloween Jack is a real cool cat.
Um..I thought her sex tape WAS her life documentary..??
Submitted by dreadpiratecuervo on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 8:15am.
How does Barbie have a perfect life? Her man has no genitals & never even married her ass.
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LMAO..... even Princess Di was not perfect...
Paris, please pinch your tits so you can wake up.
It's mind-boggling that the media still pays attention to this moron.
I couldn't even make it through the first two minutes. Uneducated, stupid slut.
Repulsive. Utterly repulsive. No One Cares. Fuck MTV.
omg this is going to be a masterpiece and defenitly soul shattering I cannot wait!!! LOVE HER! *rolls eyes*
Haven't heard much from this tramp in a while. Is she growing up or something?
How does Barbie have a perfect life? Her man has no genitals & never even married her ass.
you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop - Patches O'Houlihan
Less baby voice does not an adult make.
Whoever greenlighted this project at MTV needs to be fired asap. In this economy, no one should be able to make to make such a wrong call and expect to keep their job.
I refuse to watch because I know i personally cannot hate this piece of shit more than I do now.
Like, no.
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It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
I always looked up to people like Princess Diana and now I can never be like that.”
Sure you can! Just DIE whore.
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
If she wants to get real about her psych diagnosis and film one of her therapy appointments,let me know.
But footage of her in her car, or putting on her makeup is not intriguing.
Note to Hollyweird.
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
In other news, Princess Diana just shit herself twice and rolled over in her grave.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
So now she's all pissed that everybody bought into her act and think she's dumb, pointless and crawling with six different strains of the same venereal disease?
She really is fucking stupid.
****
100% DMBAS
God, I hate this asshole. And I hate all of her voices, too.
Mmmmm, no.
BORING, not interesting
STUPID, not smart
HIDEOUS, not attractive
TACKY, not charming.
So many better names for this hot mess.
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Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Vile.
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
Am I the only one curious to see how awful she thinks her life is so I can further hate her for being a stupid spoiled whore?
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Great!!!
My day's ruined now. Not a new record at 8:58am but close.
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Only 3% of the US money supply exists as physical currency. The remaining 97% is digital.
Just so you know.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7065205277695921912
So, are we supposed to feel sorry for this odious piece of shit?
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Barf. When will this stupid diseased whore just go away for good?
I thought she's gone away! Why is she back again?!!!
At least the Britney doc was pretty good - not what I'd expected. You actually felt sorry for her.