Dancing With The Has-Beens: Take That, CHERYL BURKE!!!!!
Wasn't it a truly magical night? The moon was shining, the sky was clear, the stars twinkled, the angels hummed ever so softly into my ears and a dozen baby bunnies cuddled around me. Okay, none of that really happened, but it felt like it after my arch rival CHERYL BURKE lost Dancing with the Has-Beens. AHAHAHAHAHAH! BLEHEHEHEHEHE! EHEHEHEHEHEH! AHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!! OHOHOHOHOHO! Victory is sweeeet!
After all the bones she broke from working her black voodoo magic while stirring her cauldron filled with Mop 'N 'Glo, the moppy head FAILED!
CHERYL BURKE could taste the win too. In her mind, she poured chocolate sauce, extra whipped cream, three servings of nuts, a dozen cherries, a cup of crumbled Ho Hos and a whole devil's food cake on top of that trophy, because she was about to eat it up! And then it happened, Tom Bergererereron or whatever his name is read that the winner was that little mouse WHO CAN, Shawn Johnson! When that happened, my Swiffer jumped out of the closet and danced around me. It bowed before me, I took its handle and we waltzed with our no-hearts filled with GLEEEEEEEE. While CHERYL BURKE died inside, we became alive! Dreams really do come true!!!!
And you know that right after the cameras stopped rolling, Mop Head tore off her stupid costume, put on her eatin' dress, stormed into a Food 4 Less and completely ravaged the frozen dessert section. Not one Breyer's tub made it out alive!
Gilles Marini might have lost that Dollar Tree trophy, but he's the real winner last night, because he doesn't have to see Mop Head's fugly butt face ever again! When she said to him, "You are my friend for life." You know he was thinking, "Um. I don't really enjoy spending my Friday nights franchise restaurant hopping, but I'll send you a pound cake at Christmastimes if I must." Frenchie also went home and torched all his mop heads. Just like me, he can never look at a mop again without filling with rage.
And that's that! Congratulations, to Shawn Johnson! In all honestly, Lil' Kim and her geisha cat face should've won, but at least moppy evil did not prevail this time!
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For singles .... I found a hot place where you can find your rich and sexy partner...
Try your best to enjoy life..
****SugarBabyMeet.com *****
HOPE YOU CAN FIND YOUR LOVE
I love you MK. I too find glee in the defeat of my enemies both real and imagined. Glad old Mop Head finally crashed and burned.
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Give the glitter ball trophy to MK and his swifter!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 11:12am
bahahaha i had to google that. thats too funny. fuk mi bahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 11:12am.
Heck Ricki, you know your stuff.
ITA, The Woz was having fun and made people happy giving it the old college try. He always had a great attitude, and was never rude or making excuses for himself. People liked him and I doubt even I, thin and more in shape than the Woz, could have done the worm as well.
She reminds me of some desperate woman, always sucking up to men in an attempt to get attention and a date, because she is such a bitch, no one really could stand to be around her for any length of time, other than when she is kissing someone's ass to gain brownie points. If I were Les, I'd bitch slap both her and Bruno daily!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Gilles would have won, IMO, if Cheryl hadn't choreographed their freestyle to be all about her. When the 'What a Feelin' music started, I knew the damned dance would be "All eyes on Cheryl" instead of showcasing Gilles talent. She screwed them out of the win.
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And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
Get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
I agree about Carrie. She is quite unnecessarily bitch sometimes. Steve Wozniak clearly went on the show to have fun, with no illusions about being a good dancer, wanting to win money or hoping to win or anything like that, and she just cut him down week after week, when frankly, he was far better than I expected. He did the fucking worm, people! Carrie Anne is a bitch who thinks she's all that 'cause she pole-danced topless for Madonna way back in '92 and played one of Austin Powers' 'Fuk Mi' twins. Woo-fuckin-hoo, lady. Cunt.
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 11:01am.
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 10:16am
i totally agree abotu carrie ann. she is very very biased. these people arent professionals and she is very rude to some of them sometimes.
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Exactly. For the most part, these celebs are not dancers. Some are more schooled than others, but she critiques them like they are actual pro's. I also hate, hate, hate when she does that "Wooo Hooo" and swirls around her head. That really pisses me off!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 10:16am
i totally agree abotu carrie ann. she is very very biased. these people arent professionals and she is very rude to some of them sometimes.
really wanted melissa to win. but am so glad cheryl didn't. really don't see what the dramz is all about w/gilles. just knew mary lou retton's cousin was going to win after they danced last nite. wonder if she & mark will start 'dating' now?
I thought Shawn deserved the win - especially after her freestyle. For a short tank body she moves very gracefully, and she can move from one complex move to another making it look easy. I DVR the show and cut through all the crap too - if they insist on padding this show out to absurd proportions AND keep that pain in the arse Samantha (after 8 seasons she STILL can't host - I FF all her scenes)I'm gonna rethink watching next season. I thought Gefforey's roast was frickin hilarious - Dancing with the Vaguely Familiar? Lil Kim's bullet proof vest line? Refering tot he Judges as Smokin, Croakin and Flamin? C'mon - that was funny.
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 10:16am.
Well, she will be one of the ones that dances. She will be a regular dancer, like Lacey, Kym, etc..
I agree, she was all bent out of shape and annoyed when the comments were not even directed at her. She annoys me.
I am anxious to see who they get for next season. I thought they had great diversity this season, as far as celebs from different walks of life.
I hope they tone down Bruno for next year, he is really starting to grate on my nerves with his over the top commentary. Les is my fave judge, cannot stand Carrie Ann, cuz she is always so obvious with who she prefers. She is not very subtle in her likes or dislikes of contestants. I thought she was horrible to The Woz and then to Coris last season. She forgets that the show is about what the fans and general public wants and not who SHE wants. It is also based on the idea of improvement over the entire season. Carrie Ann is not very nice IMO.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
The only reason I watched the show last night was because my mother, like every other middle-aged woman in America, has the hots for Gilles Marini and wouldn't stop talking about him all season. I figured he was a lock to win, especially after Melissa came in third.
Right before they announced Shawn won, I was thinking, "Oh god, I hope Shawn wins, because Michael K's post on Dlisted will be EPIC tomorrow."
And it was. Just the simple fact that he writes Cheryl Burke in caps cracks me up. I wonder why he grew to hate her so much. And of all people to call your arch nemesis, why a bitch from a reality show? Hahaha I love it.
Well the best joke of the roast was "I though this was Dancing with the Stars (hasbeens), not Dancing with the vaguely familiar"
Submitted by devilgirl on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 9:58am.
aye, i agree, hes not funny at all. but i always thought a roast was to say those sort of things...
but really what do i know lol.
i just found it funny how annoyed she had her nose soout of joint when he wasnt even talking about her. im nto sure if he made any comments about her before that cause i was flipping back and forth btw that and rich bride poor bride. (short attention span)
thats good that they arent replacing anyone. i kinda like the pro's they have. i just thougth cause tehy were having them teach they would be having her as a regular not just for the extra dances.
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 10:03am.
From what I have gathered, they are just adding a pro. I have heard that because of injuries, they are trying to beef up the dance staff so the ones that are in the competition don't have to participate too much in the non competition dance routines (aka:time fillers) but how much of that is accurate, I have no idea.
I agree regarding roast, but that guy did say a few things that were, IMO, way out of line. I never have really liked him and was thrilled when he was sent packing! I think one should have a sense of humor, but he was really disrespectful to people, and some of his schtick was no funny.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by devilgirl on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 9:58am.
this is true, not her fault on costumes. she is really tall! perhaps they will get a basketball player to be her partner on next season. i wonder which pro wont return then..hmmm
ooooo did you see the look on densie richards face when that homer simpson look alike was doing the roast. she seemed so offended by the remarks he was making hahahah oh... man. no sense of humour on that woman..and you'd think she'd have a wee bit after all shes done/been through hahahah
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 9:46am.
Yeah, I like Kym too, she also seems like she would be a nice person! I loved Springer though, he was funny and I loved how he BEGGED to get voted off.
I did think that the new dancer they chose was very good though, but she is WAAAAY tall, so they are going to have to find her a partner whose very tall. Mayo was a good dancer as well, but he didn't have the finesse that the woman had. ITA about her cheesy costumes, but I have to blame the costume dept. for that.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 9:34am.
I think having Melissa, the Bachelor ho and Dallas Cowboy cheerleader on, was more "cheating" than having a gymnast on.
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I think she was a ringer too. I think they both came into it with skills that none of the other contestants had (flexibility, experience with routines, physical conditioning, etc), but I pegged Shawn to take it from jump. I just tried not to think too much about the buck-toothed Dallas cowboys ho. She irked me so damn much.
Submitted by devilgirl on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 9:38am.
i always thought the same about kym, they kept giving her crapola partners like jerry springer, then she had a couple of good ones where they got to later rounds, perhaps next season lacey will have a better partner.
i sometimes wonder how they dole out the partners. like do the pro's draw names from a hat?
im not sure how i feel about that new girl that will beon next season that was dancing with maks. she looks to trailer park for my liking..perhaps it was those cheap sateen gloves and shite dress they had her in.
Yeah I can't stand that Cheryl Burke either. Honestly, I stopped watching after Lil Kim got sent home. I also DVR this show, and I finish it usually in less than 20 minutes. They run those commercials in between results like people really care all that much. Every year I say I won't watch it again, and they book someone like Lil Kim who peaks my interest. The show is pretty lame though. However, Cheryl, writhing around like a female gorilla in heat is probably the worst.
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 9:09am.
I didn't mind Melissa really. I thought she was a graceful dancer and was very good considering her late start. You are right about what a fab teacher Tony is, and he seems like a genuinely nice person. You'd have to be, to get stuck with Susan Lucci and not go mad from her inability to dance. Thank God they gave him Melissa, who had a fighting chance at winning.
The pro I really like is Lacey Schwimmer. I think she is a fantastic dancer and wish she would have gone farther than she did. They always stick her with people who you know cannot make it very far.
I could do without all of the filler type stuff they do on the show, but over all, I like it.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
why isnt anyone calling Shawn a troll?
she's short and stumpy like Hayden- so...WTF?
Yall's a bunch of Hayden Haters!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
4D pic of my son taken 5/7/09 @ 36w3d
I dont watch this show ever, but I am kind of surprised Cheryl hasnt tried to ban pro athletes from getting on the show to begin with...With their althletic bodies they automatically start out with a massive edge on her.
I think having Melissa, the Bachelor ho and Dallas Cowboy cheerleader on, was more "cheating" than having a gymnast on. Most of the gymnasts I know were terrible dancers. Gymnastics is all about speed and force and hitting/blocking things hard. Having done both, gymnastics is really not similar to dancing at all. Dancing requires grace and fluidity, which is much more in line with someone with experience like Melissa's dance background. I don't think it's really "cheating" either way, as America votes for their favorite (who is not necessarily "the best") and the judges really don't critique and judge it as 'accurately' as they could. They know it's a "pop ballroom" competition and not a rigorously-codified "real" dance championship.
Wow, that's a lot of opinion for someone who doesn't really even watch the show lol. But yeah.
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 9:03am.
I like watching the dancing, but all the cheese and filler fluff realy make Dancing With the Stars unwatchable for me.
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Agreed. I dvr it and fast forward through all the filler. I cant watch anything except the very end of the results show. This program reallllllly doesnt need the extra hour long results show. Its so bad.
Anyway, I always knew that the damn gymnast would win -- I still say thats cheating -- and I kinda lost interest after they booted Lil Kim and kept the robot cowboy.
i wante little kim to win, but shawn is good!
****~..~*****
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."- Bob Wiley
Submitted by devilgirl on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:59am.
i agree, shawn did improve the most overall. she was fab. i did love the mj routine for sure.
i didnt like the bachelore chick, but it jsut goes to show what a great teacher tony was. cause i mean he got her ready in just two days and taught her alot.
in my opinion its always the same pro's that do well, casue they are better teachers than some of the other ones. just cause they are good dancers doesnt always mean tehy can teach someone to dance just as well. they do however sometimes get stuck with duds hahaha. but like derek, fab teacher in my opinion.
i like watching it too..i hate the fluff, so i flip back and forth alot btw other things. i hardly ever watch the results shows, but i do love watching the dancing.
I like watching the dancing, but all the cheese and filler fluff realy make Dancing With the Stars unwatchable for me. If I hear particularly good things about someone's dance one week I might YouTube it, but otherwise I just can't bring myself to care. (I did watch all of Mario Lopez's routines though, LOL. *Purr*)
I LOVE So You Think You Can Dance though. I can't wait for it to start on Thursday!!!
Submitted by greenfinch on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:53am.
I never really liked Gilles to be honest. He seemed really arrogant and way too sure of himself. I think he lost because people thought that Shawn had improved the most and had a better Freestyle routine.
I don't know, just my opinion, but like you, I don't care what people think of DWTS, it's a wholesome show and I do like to watch the dancing. I have learned a lot about ballroom dance and I find it interesting.
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by devilgirl on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:51am.
i watch it too. dont care what anyone thinks. although i would hve preferred if Gilles won...not that i like cheryl, i just thoguht he was the better dancer. but i do realize that a frenchie would have had nothing against the american girl...
YAY! I was thrilled that Gilles Moroni and Mop Head lost!
Yeah, I watch DWTS, SO WHAT!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
The best part of this post is MK laughing like Dr. Demento in They're Coming To Take Me Away!
I have never seen this show, nor do I care who won; however, the thought of MK dancing with his Swiffer is priceless.
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Dick happens! - MK
I wanted Gilles to win, but am happy that Shawn won. I guessed the 3 finalists early on into the show. I;m proud of myself. GO SHAWN AND CONGRATULATIONS! Looking forward to September.
...
Proudly, I have never seen this show. Shawn Johnson...the same olympic gymnast chipmunk?
Is that a bad picture or did she bulk up?
Submitted by Snoogle on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:10am.
Am I the only person left on the face of the earth that would rather pluck my ass hairs with pliers than watch reality tv??
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God no! I'm right there with you! I cannot STAND reality TV! The only thing I watch that comes close (and jumped the shark, BTW) is Deadliest Catch.
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Whoa!! Wait. I thought tossing salad meant throwing up. WTH does it mean?? - DiamondDawg
Submitted by Raul Duke on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:32am.
Submitted by Snoogle on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:10am.
Am I the only person left on the face of the earth that would rather pluck my ass hairs with pliers than watch reality tv?
***** No, I would rather pluck your ass hairs with pliers too.
_________ Ha!! HA !!! Freak ;)
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
SNOOGLE for HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR!!!
xo
Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:14am.
I was channel surfing and caught the part where Apollo Anton Ono was telling Shawn Johnson that no Olympic medalist has ever lost DWTS. I think she is a good kid but when I saw that part I knew the fix was in
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Agree 100%
The French guy never had a chance against the All American Olympian girl. :-)
Loved Gilles, he was awesome. So was the bachelor chick.
Submitted by Snoogle on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 8:10am.
Am I the only person left on the face of the earth that would rather pluck my ass hairs with pliers than watch reality tv?
***** No, I would rather pluck your ass hairs with pliers too.
I forgot this show was still on...
"Canta y Encanta a tu Pueblo Tigresa"
Snoogle, I am with you.
The only show I watch considered Reality is Amazing Race. I'd rather have a root canal than watch American Idol. No Dancin' with the boring stars either. I was a faithful viewer of Dance Fever back in the day, but the term "Reality TV" had not been invented.
http://www.tciartists.com/graphics/photos/deney_terrio_s.jpg
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Maybe you'll get a replacement
There's plenty like me to be found
Mongrels who ain't got a penny
Sniffing for tidbits like you on the ground
I was channel surfing and caught the part where Apollo Anton Ono was telling Shawn Johnson that no Olympic medalist has ever lost DWTS. I think she is a good kid but when I saw that part I knew the fix was in.
People that win at everything annoy me.
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"You can lead a whore to culture,
But you can't stop her from throwing a glass of vodka at it." -DEB
Next season with her is going to be like the scene in "Predator" when the Mack (the black guy) mows down the rain forest with the mini-gun.
Dancing with the Stars Season 9: "The Mop Strikes Back"
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Only 3% of the US money supply exists as physical currency. The remaining 97% is digital.
Just so you know.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7065205277695921912
Am I the only person left on the face of the earth that would rather pluck my ass hairs with pliers than watch reality tv??
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
SNOOGLE for HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR!!!
xo
Submitted by NativeNYker on Wed, 05/20/2009 - 7:58am.
you had to know that the sweet little all american girl would win after just coming from the olympics and everyone in america voting for her..
Blah blahdy blah. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
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Whoa!! Wait. I thought tossing salad meant throwing up. WTH does it mean?? - DiamondDawg
Geisha cat face? ahahahhaahahahahhahahahahah
I heart Dlisted.
~Zoe
http://www.myspace.com/misszoesimone