The New Sarah Larson
I know we all got part-times jobs as a cocktail waitresses/models hoping that one day George Clooney will sweep in, see that we serve alcoholic beverages, fall madly in love with us and then whisk us off to Italy where we'll spend our days licking his taint. Well, the dream came true for one bitch, but it wasn't us. George's latest cocktail waitress love is some ho named Lucy Wolvert who he met while filming a movie in Miami.
UsWeekly (via Parade) says that George and Lucy have been bumping nipples for a few weeks, but he wants to keep the whole thing hush hush. Lucy, who is also a model (give me that eye roll), couldn't keep her pie hole shut and is telling all her friends that she's doing The Clooney. A source said, "Her crush may have gotten the best of her. George asked Lucy to be discreet, but she's told friends and they've started talking."
Why are these whores so dumb dumb in the brains?! Why oh why?! When a peen that shoots loads of money comes into your life, you have to play it cool. Especially if the peen belongs to George. One little peep and George is out the door. Didn't these slags learn anything from that dumbass call girl Sarah Larson?!
With George, you gotta put on a Benjamin Button's mask, pretend you're Brad Pitt, hop on that dick and then get knocked up! And you keep your lips shut until the fetus is comfortably ready to pop. Then you start blabbing and collect your check. I swear. Someone should really teach a class to cocktail waitresses/models at the Learning Annex called How To Catch The Clooney in 5 Easy Steps.
Mira, GC must be one of the most insecure people to date all of these useless human condoms. What gives? Me thinks he must have the tiniest, limpest dick in Hollywood.
Doesnt this ho look like that hooker from Staten Island that was doing Eliot Spitzer??
I never could see what the appeal is with George Clooney?
Hes sort of an OK actor but this business of never getting with an apropriate woman is not at all appealing....
Tedious...
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"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
I think I know that bitch! I went to middle and high school with a girl named Lucy Wolvert. And yes, I know there could be more than one, but I pulled out an old yearbook when I saw this and it's gotta be her. Bitch graduated from Reynold High School in Troutdale, OR in 2004 which would make her 22-23.
My friend in LA says George is always aiming low. The sluttier the better. He's the guy going to STK dreaming about a Big Mac.
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Submitted by kitten666 on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:11pm.
I'm sorry, but can you translate that to English?
I don't know whether your post was directed at me partially, but George Clooney deserves the humiliation. He can fuck as many 20 year old high maintenance gold diggers and strippers as he wants, but to expect some kind of respect coming from it all? Not from me.
As many of the others have commented: George Clooney takes advantage of these pitifully braindead, low-profile, drunken, wannabe skanks to escape the backlash he would receive from his female fans as he would in a high-profile relationship with whom everyone was familiar with and liked.
And...no it's not "normal" of George Clooney to be in his forties and not have the partying and crazy sex out of his system, ESPECIALLY when he's fucking famous and had the opportunity to party for a large part of his life. Marriage isn't for some people, but you don't see ANYTHING wrong with this picture?
He dates naive women 20-25 years his junior and doesn't want *anyone* finding out who he's screwing around with? Why? Doesn't that seem a little odd to you? And, please, don't get me started on how he's so reluctant to begin a long-term relationship but insists upon "dating" these women with no promise of a future with them? Are you fucking serious?
It appears to me that George Clooney goes out of his way to meet star-struck, money hungry *whores* who strive for their 15 minutes of fame by simply being involved with GC, while GC has all the wild and crazy sex he wants without the commitment. They're using EACH OTHER.
Why *can't* George Clooney find a nice classy woman who's in her forties, or even thirties? Don't even tell me that there aren't any older women whose beauty matches his own, or these skanks' for that matter. Because he likes them slutty and stupid. His blatant aversion toward women his own age and an IQ higher than 2 digits speaks volumes.
He's oh so fucking brilliant, then why hasn't he gotten with anyone with half a brain or dignity? Is it because he's a manipulative bastard? <---Rhetorical question.
But then again I don't sympathize for Sarah Larson or this twat either. If any of these sorry little girls were remotely intelligent, they would've achieved more. I hope it's worth it for these dumbasses as it is for GC, which it isn't. They're living a sad, sad lie of self-delusion that their publicity tour and luxuries of fucking an arrogant A-list celebutwit would be endless.
However, I find it a little bit hypocritical that kitten666 sympathizes for George Clooney for being used for his "money" when he OBVIOUSLY uses dumb sluts to fuck until he wears them out and ditches them when it's no longer convenient.
Poor George Clooney. Poor whores. Boofuckinghoo. I hope he gets one of these skanks knocked up.
Rotten peach of scrotum
Georgey you have come a long way from The Golden Girls why fuck that up and get that fucked up in public. What are you all on Crack? Have you been fucking Brittney? I know this bimbo is a distraction. Train wrecks all look the same don't they?
*sigh*. Just one flaw to the plan. I believe George has had the chop. He may be a slut but at least he has forsight, how many bar whores do you think have already tried that one to no success.
kitten 666 How pathetic ! Sarah Larson at least had some CLASS ! I bet this ho went to the tabloids herself ......I bet he's on to the next ! he should be able to be a discusting dirty old man in private . why should he get married ? At least he dosn't have some sobbing old bitch at home wondering where his dick has been . Right on George ! If you like coctail waitresses and strippers cool ! next time can get one who is not a fame seeking tramp ? i hate reading this crap ! he has done so much for the world and so much to discredit himself ! she looks like the type who would snap a pic or two of his peen while he was passed out and covered in puke ! she also looks like the type of ho who would tell ALL to TMZ ! poor guy ....
Why does George always looking for that kind of people to relate?
His ego, i think, will not hold an intelligent woman, with opinion and with some class.
He seems so smart in some things and so stupid for others, we can only regret.
These limousine liberals are always mysoginistic scum, which is amusing, considering how they like to hear themselves publicly covering the moral high ground, going to charity events and shit to have their pictures taken while they aren't even fucking diplomatic with the people in their lives.
I hate saying it, but it's true. Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Penn, and George Clooney turn on their fucking diatribes about how materialistic western culture has become while they cheat on their wives and/or date naive and "struggling" 23 year old bar-wenches without a promise of commitment anywhere in sight.
Yeah, you all keep fucking around with your supermodels in your private jets and continue convincing yourselves how much you're doing for the world.
Fuck them all. WTF is George Clooney's problem anyway? He's in his late 40s and *still* too much an overindulgent, selfish pussy to grow the fuck up and enter a meaningful and serious relationship? What a goddamned asshole. How weak these men are.
Rotten peach of scrotum
she looks like the late Nicole Simpson
That girl looks like Gina Gershon a little.
When is Clooney going to date someone who is NOT young enough to be his daughter?
Lucy Wolvert? that can't be a real name
.
how TMZ of you to use that pic of him blinking. Thats evolution in reverse. Fuck tmz.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 11:14pm.
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Of the kind he could marry in Mass.?
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
Man, he isn't aging well at all... Looks old and ugly... Won't be able to get any chicks here soon... even the 80 year old ones! LOL!
That class should be called:
"How To Catch The Clap in 5 Horrifying Seconds".
Truth in advertising!
And "doing The Clooney" is now my polite way of saying "skanky ho".
"I can't believe she's with that dweeb!"
"Oh yeah! She's always doing the Clooney."
var. "doing the Looney"; "doing the looney"; "getting her Clooney face on" (a drunk ho wearing too much makeup and going in for the kill)...
Jonas Brothers live the dream!
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
God, next to that thing Sarah Larson was classy! BTW Giorgio should eat more pasta, looks better heavier, this thin look doesn't become him, makes him look... er... gay...
MK you are so right. These girls do not know how to be a proper gold digger. All they have to do is stand there and look pretty, and they cant even do that! Look what happened to old girl Sarah, everyone thought she would go the distance but she fucked it up.
NGL, even though he is a seasoned man whore, I would still get with George.
George Clooney is like Satan if Satan was an ignorant bitch.
http://www.AlistZ.net
I assure you, I have had sex with Lucy the same number of times Georgie has. Yes, I mean zero.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:38am.
she is from my country!
she is a victory for the Argentinians gold diggers!
actually I can fucking stand her, but good for her.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
I want him to grow old with Lisa Snowdon!
What's his problem, man!?
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Didn't he basically pay off Sarah Larson? I remember a bit where he sets them up, makes them financially secure so they won't blab all about him. He probably looks for the cocktail waitress chicks figuring they'll be happy wtih some paltry sum of money unlike the hollywood celebs that probably require a much bigger payout.
Personally, I think he's overrated. I don't even think he's aging well.
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That picture of Clooney is hysterical. I didn't pay any attention to it until today! Those eyes! Hahahahahahaha!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
George is an over the hill alcoholic who likes to pretend he's a cool cat. He is just pathetic and doesn't seem to get the joke.
George is a proven homosexual.
Why all these photos with fish??!!!!!
it's sickening how celebs change partners all the time. no fucking standards at all! no brains, no common sense. no nothing! i pity the hos who sucked/suck georgey's old dick. all they see is $.
Matt Damon's wife is just about the only bar tender/waitress that I can think of (out of today's generation), who actually married a substantial celeb. Don't think anyone called her a gold digger, they dated a couple years, she got a bun in the oven, 3 mo's later they were married.
She kept her mouth shut, got the ring, the dude, the $$ and the baybeh, JIC things go south, he's got to pay alimony AND child support now.
If they do divorce, she could have the next big VH1 Ho Show: Gold Digger Academy.
That's how it's done, bitches.
I actually like this couple and this was surprisingly hard for me to write this. Fuck! I need another shot, the numbness is wearing off.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
He likes non-famous, moronic hos so he can be in charge. So if he mistreats them they won't have legions of outraged fans out for his blood.
I agree that he's had a vasectomy or someone would've had his moneymaker by now.
I see George for what he is-- a high school grad who got lucky, became an actor, and made a lot of money. I don't think he has much talent and he's certainly not a Mensa candidate. IMO he looks like a drunk who sells used cars.
George C. wants a career in politics. He'll marry a teacher. Some teacher of little kids. Little deaf kids. Little deaf ghetto kids. Not a bar-hop.
why does georgey like his beards so skanky...we can see right through the farce...
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Some people fight fire with fire. Professionals use water.
hello all drive by (I cannot stay away from you horz for long stretches..sick) and Clooney is not good looking enough to justify his tomcatting ways. And he's gay, he has to be. It's a good give away the ones who are self proclaimed man whores are always running some distraction game. Maybe that's why he looks so old.. he'll get younger looking when he hops on the pole like he really wants to. I mean, look at what happened to Kelly mcGillis? BEAT! That stress doesn't help anyone. Now look at Rojo Caliente's piece- now that she's on the team of preference she looks better than ever. I rest my case.
Anyway I *did* roll my eyes at model. I had one viper loudly talking about her 'modeling' and finally I turned around and asked what agency. 'Storm? Ford? Which one?' When she paused for ten beats too long it was clear that she was a liar and i must say it was funny to embarrass her like that after she made fun of some nice people at the next table.
Off to sleep I have to get up and drive early tomorrow. Have a safe memorial day all!
Submitted by tojo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:42pm.
Everything's probably over now that she's spilled the "beans"...Or maybe he wants the bimbos to leak (ewww) to squelch the gay rumors for a bit longer...
Sarah Larson's screwup was trying to outstage George, instead of staying in the background. I doubt George is upset that this girl is bragging about doing him. It's obvious to anyone who sees them together and, as you say, it shows he's a womanizah.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:43pm.
George was getting a little worried when she started wearing her, "I fucked George Clooney"
t-shirt.
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Yeah, but you can get those on ebay now too...the guy with the 3 wolf shirts sells 'em...
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George was getting a little worried when she started wearing her, "I fucked George Clooney"
t-shirt.
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:05pm.
Submitted by tojo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:01pm.
I guess three weeks makes it a long-term relationship for George. Wonder when the filming's over?
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Everything's probably over now that she's spilled the "beans"...Or maybe he wants the bimbos to leak (ewww) to squelch the gay rumors for a bit longer...
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the end...
@moomarse
And they ain't gettin' any smarter are they? All of them look the same = Just Jared Chicks
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Hell, I'll bimboify myself for George if I get a villa in the south of France out of it. And if I can keep up the act of looking this stupid I want an Academy Award.
George's eyes are telling me it's 420.
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
She looks like the hooker who had sex with Elliot Spitzer.
Submitted by cheetahstripes on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 8:37pm.
George needs to boot his own ass out of the closet already. What is this, bimbo number 5204?
And they ain't gettin' any smarter are they? All of them look the same = Just Jared Chicks
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Submitted by tojo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 9:01pm.
I guess three weeks makes it a long-term relationship for George. Wonder when the filming's over?
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 8:38pm.
That's the girl in the SUV on May 2d:
http://dlisted.com/node/31870/images/spl97452_014.jpg
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I wondered about that but was waaay too busy (lazy) to look it up myself...thanks Sheeps!!
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George seems to have a scintilla of intelligence and yet he's not dating Harvard alums is he? There's a pattern to all this use-em-up and spit-em-out stuff that lowers my opinion of him. For a guy trying to get involved in world affairs, why wouldn't you date someone you could discuss this with? No disrespect meant to cocktail waitresses which, of course, is an honest living. But George...really...
That's the girl in the SUV on May 2d:
http://dlisted.com/node/31870/images/spl97452_014.jpg
George needs to boot his own ass out of the closet already. What is this, bimbo number 5204?
George must really have had a vasectomy. Otherwise, by now someone would have saved, implanted, or frozen some spermies.