The New Sarah Larson
I know we all got part-times jobs as a cocktail waitresses/models hoping that one day George Clooney will sweep in, see that we serve alcoholic beverages, fall madly in love with us and then whisk us off to Italy where we'll spend our days licking his taint. Well, the dream came true for one bitch, but it wasn't us. George's latest cocktail waitress love is some ho named Lucy Wolvert who he met while filming a movie in Miami.
UsWeekly (via Parade) says that George and Lucy have been bumping nipples for a few weeks, but he wants to keep the whole thing hush hush. Lucy, who is also a model (give me that eye roll), couldn't keep her pie hole shut and is telling all her friends that she's doing The Clooney. A source said, "Her crush may have gotten the best of her. George asked Lucy to be discreet, but she's told friends and they've started talking."
Why are these whores so dumb dumb in the brains?! Why oh why?! When a peen that shoots loads of money comes into your life, you have to play it cool. Especially if the peen belongs to George. One little peep and George is out the door. Didn't these slags learn anything from that dumbass call girl Sarah Larson?!
With George, you gotta put on a Benjamin Button's mask, pretend you're Brad Pitt, hop on that dick and then get knocked up! And you keep your lips shut until the fetus is comfortably ready to pop. Then you start blabbing and collect your check. I swear. Someone should really teach a class to cocktail waitresses/models at the Learning Annex called How To Catch The Clooney in 5 Easy Steps.
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Submitted by MizRo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 8:07pm.
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HAPPY WEEKEND MIZRO!!! *packs bowl and raises it* C U Soon!
Freebird and all the great regs I got to hear from tonight: it's "4:20" my time, gotta go, love ya!
*muah* all!
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
Submitted by MizRo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:55pm.
No cellphone for me Freebird, watch for the bic! (and smoke)
*giggle*
I'm on the other Coast, sweets - NY.
No solid rumours just that he goes through women like napkins and has very deep bonds with certain men.
Frankly, the Industry likes to hide such things a la Rock Hudson.
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It's about bic & giggle time for me, too!
Woohoo!
If I were a guy and I was George Clooney and I were straight I would have a harem of high end hookers on my pay roll, and I would even give them health insurance just to show off. "Oh, a yacht, huh? These are my personal whores. No, you can't borrow any of them."
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
This is a Rockapade all up and down the Hollywood and VIne. I'm just saying. George is one of those "special bachelors" that pick that same type of girl to date knowing that he would never take her seriously enough to wife her. She's just fem and slutty enough for him to get the a Tad the Cad pat on his shoulders from his straight friends while he, Will, Tom, and John dial those 1-900-BEEFCAKE hotlines on the sly.
George probably gets so drunk that he can't tell who he's doin' anymore huh?
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
MK!!
I honestly LOL'd and fell off the couch (I'm drunk) that was so fucking funny!!!!
My friends and I are hootin' and a hollerin' with the "uh aughh"'s and vodka, taking turns reading this shit out loud and vomiting. TGIF!
"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"
No cellphone for me Freebird, watch for the bic! (and smoke)
*giggle*
I'm on the other Coast, sweets - NY.
No solid rumours just that he goes through women like napkins and has very deep bonds with certain men.
Frankly, the Industry likes to hide such things a la Rock Hudson.
There really should be a rule book for these broads so that they understand that when the old dude tells you not to speak on nasty time...you keep quiet. They should, however, get a "pic or it didn't happen" picture to sell once their sell by date passes; tit upgrades and headshots don't pay for themselves.
Miz :) nice to see you..
did patty stranger write the marry the millionaire rules? teehee. someone really should take mk's advice.
Submitted by zomay on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:35pm.
Come on! George sets them up to fail. He picks the not so bright on purpose.
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Hey Zomay! I think he likes them not-so-bright so they won't figure out that he's not really into women.
Might as well get top class call girls all the time. Why bother even dating these barmaids?
xxyxz! *muah* ciao darling...
Submitted by MizRo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:42pm.
*waving*
*shouting "FREEBIRD!"*
*not at concert*
Ahem, sorry... Hi, Freebird! Oddly, I've heard MANY rumours throughout the years, MANY.
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*looking for lighter in the air* Thought someone was calling me, but I don't see a lighter in the air - oh it's cellphones now. Damn the man!
Hey MizRo! Are you an Angelino, too? I don't know how I've missed his - ANY GOOD ONES? Did he and Brad ever have a thing? Every once in awhile a bi rumor will pop up about Brad & I've always wondered about those two.
ILPS ♥
I miss you too :)... hope to see you horz tomorrow
"Submitted by xxyxz on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:47pm.
*drive by kisses for everyone*"
OMG! I miss you! I thought of your the other day when I was watching "Clean House." *muah*
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Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
*drive by kisses for everyone*
zomay! Hi love! So good you're here - miss commenting and the great people that comment here, to this day! Hope you're fantastic!
"Submitted by TiredofthisCrap on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:36pm.
Well she's young, like 23, Clooney's old enough to be her daddy. Maybe that is why she bragging. You don't brag about George until you are married to his ass. I woner when her hoe shots will be in the Internet.
How come my responses are posted twice? I only hit post comment once?"
Because DListed loves you!
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Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
*waving*
*shouting "FREEBIRD!"*
*not at concert*
Ahem, sorry... Hi, Freebird! Oddly, I've heard MANY rumours throughout the years, MANY.
Mizro, HI!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Submitted by MizRo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:37pm.
I'm with mike: I think these "relationships" or whatever are staged to obscure the real Clooney, which would send his worldwide female audience tumbling into despair and denial.
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I agree. And it's not that I hear many rumors about it but somehow I just think he is gay and covering it better than Will 'I really really really love to have sex with my wife' Smith.
I'm with mike: I think these "relationships" or whatever are staged to obscure the real Clooney, which would send his worldwide female audience tumbling into despair and denial.
Yes, agreed. He picks on the "not so bright" ones because he knows they wont stick around for long. And he has said before that he doesn't plan on getting married again EVER. Good call!
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Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
Well she's young, like 23, Clooney's old enough to be her daddy. Maybe that is why she bragging. You don't brag about George until you are married to his ass. I woner when her hoe shots will be in the Internet.
How come my responses are posted twice? I only hit post comment once?
Come on! George sets them up to fail. He picks the not so bright on purpose.
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Well she's young, like 23, Clooney's old enough to be her daddy. Maybe that is why she bragging. You don't brag about George until you are married to his ass.
Manimal5: I really don't think Georgie here goes for "brains" so much as "enough functioning gray matter as to be able to perform daily non-intricate actions, and salacious acts on command without having a single, fleeting GLIMPSE of a thought regarding permanency of relationship."
*chuckle*
"Avoid swearing, drinking, drugs, laughing loudly, aggressive behavior, and flashy outfits. Don't smoke even if they do."
Jesus, no wonder I never scored a millionaire.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I still think he's gay (not that I think there's anything wrong with that).
Submitted by MizRo on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:20pm.
Hahaha.
I can't believe all the steps and warnings,too!
[edit] Things You'll Need! Brains, looks and loads of charm.
Youth.
A good plan
Gourmet cooking classes, tennis, riding, and golf lessons, membership to a gym.
Books on all the arts, history, politics and finance.
A good college education.
Some sort of achievement.
"Some sort of achievement" LOL
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:15pm.
George's girls cant read or didnt get that memo. Couldnt he find a decent beard?
Manimal5: professional gold-digger coach?
Seriously, you KNOW what you're taking about, flipping brilliant!
Evaluate and be realistic on your looks, brains and personality. If you are average looking, slow-witted with a dull personality, forget about it. Write down a list of what needs to be improved, then do it. You need to be a 10 in almost all areas, and maybe a 9 in one or two.
Manimal, rule #2, forget about it. Funny!
"Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 05/22/2009 - 7:15pm.
Interesting site for whores looking to bag a millionaire:
Rule #6. Avoid swearing, drinking, drugs, laughing loudly, aggressive behavior, and flashy outfits. Don't smoke even if they do. Work on a more elegant style. Think classy and understated, not "labels". You want to be the girlfriend then wife. Not the mistress.
"Classy" LMAO!!!"
So this is basically saying that it takes someone with no brain to bag a millionaire? Hmmmmm.
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Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
This is probably MK's best post of the week!
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Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
George's girlfriends get sluttier and harder looking as he gets older!! I'm sure he can do better. Maybe he's lazy and just points at the one with the biggest tatas and nicest tongue and takes it home.
Interesting site for whores looking to bag a millionaire:
Rule #6. Avoid swearing, drinking, drugs, laughing loudly, aggressive behavior, and flashy outfits. Don't smoke even if they do. Work on a more elegant style. Think classy and understated, not "labels". You want to be the girlfriend then wife. Not the mistress.
"Classy" LMAO!!!
http://www.wikihow.com/Marry-a-Millionaire
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
He looks beat in that picture. This dude has the worst taste in women. Can't he buy some high-class piece with all that money?
Is Randy George's boyfriend?
I Kid
Bitches never learn. Can't you hit it quietly and cash your damn check like the rest of us?
Randy Gerber is going to be pissed.