The Screams Of Ten Million Tweens Just Made The Angels Go Deaf
If Google kept crashing on you all through last night, that's because zillions of crazed Twitweens were feverishly searching for pictures to print out of that skankwhorecunttrampslutbitchanallover (their words, not mine) Erika Dutra. They gathered around their parents' Weber grill in the backyard and held a chanting ceremony where threw her pictures into the fire (along with a pack of Camels) while wishing that her vagina closes for LIFE. That's because Erika was spotted "canoodling" with a sparkly vampire we all know as Robert Pattinson at a party in Cannes. If I was the President of Hot Topic, I'd send a rush order of "DIE ERIKA DUTRA DIE" t-shirts to all stores. This could save the entire economy.
RPattz is reportedly slapping his glitter wand on his co-star Kristen Stewart, but he didn't seem to have a care in the world when he was licking on Erika. A witness-type told Life & Style, "Erika was introduced to Robert by a mutual friend at the beginning of the night and he was smitten with her from that point on. He took pictures of her, sat with her all night, and the two of them were even seen kissing! There was serious chemistry between them, and they looked like they were having an amazing time. Erika and Robert even left the party together!"
So Skankika (again, their words not mine), rode that unicorn horn all night? To quote a philosopher named Oda Mae Brown: "Erika, you in danger girl."
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She's rather generic in the looks department.
Not that he's any better.
I don't get it.
I do not see what is so appealing about him he always looks like he is in need of a good bath the kind where you are scrubbed down with antibacterial soap.
gia, I totally agree with you about Clive Owen. The hub and I went out with a few people from his work for drinks, and one of the guys with us looked just like him. I spent half the time drooling, and the other half hoping that hub wouldn't notice. :)
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
My husband is a lot younger than me, so I have to admit I love younger guys, but I also completely adore & lust after Clive Owen...Its really no comparison between him & Rob Pattinson, they are too different looking.
I totally separate the lame ass Twilight movie from the actor...I just happen to find him very appealing on looks alone.
To quote a philosopher named Oda Mae Brown: "Erika, you in danger girl."
MK I f'ing love you for genious like this. hahahaha. Amazing.
ps. lucky her if she got to hit that. *jealous*
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And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
LOL @ people thinkin he's trying to be sexy in that pic
he's obviously just very, very drunk
When the stench clears and the BOY turns into a Man he's not going to look pretty. He looks more like LEARCH from the Adam's Family. Come On he's cute but it wont last. TWEENS take a chill pill its just the flavor of the week.
YOU RANG?
Ugggggggggggaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm SOOO over all this Twilight bullshit.
Ugh. I hate Robert Pattison. Here he thinks he is looking all sexy but he just looks like a grease ball. Oh, and Twilight sucks hardcore.
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'Confucius... was one of whom invented confusion... and that's why he... One of the most ancient, he was one of the Chinese... Japanese who were one of the most ancient.'
OMG I've had a few beers but still, I just wet myself laughing. I googled Erika Dutra (I know, I'm sorry) and found the following links - please read for truly inspired translations into English:
http://ready2beat.com/current-news/general-news/robert-pattinson-and-eri... (the best has got to be that they were speckled, not spotted)
http://ready2beat.com/current-news/general-news/robert-pattinson-girlfri... (eh?)
http://ready2beat.com/current-news/general-news/robert-pattinson-s-first... (just confusing)
http://ready2beat.com/entertainment/robert-pattinson-new-haircut-robert-... (here, growing scruff - amazing, and "sex hair" - perfect)
I'm not feeling him as the hot thing du jour. He looks like a Doonesbury character.
Submitted by JaneDoe on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 6:39pm.
I dont know why but I feel like he's making "I'm a sexy bad boy and you know you want me" face in this pic (and other pics) and failed a big time..
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you should check out the last post on this person. the commenters were hypothesizing on what he'd be like in bed. it was HILARIOUS.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"I'm not a victim, I'm a slut" - overheard in a park.
Wow, he looks like such a doucher in that picture. That girl better enjoy the moment because when all the tweens get a hold of her it's over.
I found a hot place, Sign up for FREE on ~~~SugarmommaMeet.Com~~~~to find a rich and sexy woman.Come On!!
I dont know why but I feel like he's making "I'm a sexy bad boy and you know you want me" face in this pic (and other pics) and failed a big time..
Submitted by The New Improve... on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 4:25pm.
As embarrassed as I am to lust after a 22 year old...
I'd hit it again and again.
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Word. Till it limps and cries for its mom. But I don't care who or what he bangs. Good for him for getting some hooch.
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100% DMBAS
He "took pictures of her"?? WTF? What for? Was it to get some new make-up ideas or what? If you're "str8" and meet someone you're "smitten" with, you don't "take pictures of her". What a girl Pattycakes is...
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
As embarrassed as I am to lust after a 22 year old...
I'd hit it again and again.
(Hangs head in shame.)
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The New Improved Wyle E
"Give this ho a Sharpie!"
Oh god, Clive Owen. I met him once, could barely breathe, he was that fine in person.
Keeping on topic, assume Lainey's post has been mentioned? R.Patt always looks "special" to me.
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Well I like Colin. I'd let him jizz on my tattas anyday. - UKer.
Pimpcessa- glad someone else ain't drinking the Kool Aid :) I think he's ugly, looks slow (the eyes! Does he have myesthenia gravis (not checking spelling sorry) like Ari Onassis? FUCK. No. Nunca.
Why are people still saying Robert and Kristen are dating?? She's been dating Michael Angarano for two years, they both confirmed that!!
Starlicious that I wish you saw
lol Clarisse...great sluts think alike!!
Haaaa! What Joan said!!
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I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Hows 'bout 30 something fans?
As fur as "real men", eh, I'll take Jeffrey Dean Morgan over Javier...
Never found Clive attractive...to each their own, non?
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I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Submitted by Miam on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 2:10pm
I so agree with you...the only thing gorgeous about him is the hair. The face is just weird.
I'm not into Bardem, but I'm into his half twin Jeffrey Dean Morgan
" To quote a philosopher named Oda Mae Brown: "Erika, you in danger girl." " LMAO, MK. She speaks the truth!
I bet it is not only the tweens who are slitting their wrists right about now. Its the lame 20 something fans too. They are just as crazy as the kiddies.
She is very pretty. He is not.
I agree with all the people who said Clive Owen is what a real man should look like. THAT is a man! I'm so not into pretty/fragile looking boys. If Clive Owen is unavailable, I will happily take Javier Bardem. I would let him do a million dirty things to me. =)
Dating a beautiful and sexy girl on ------richcupid.com-----
Dating a handsome and rich man on------richcupids.com----
LMAO @ the Oda Mae Brown reference, MK!
I'm not worried. She can only put up with Robert's stank for so long. Luckily, I have bad sinuses and can't smell jack squat!
That kid is about as manly as a twink at a bear party. little bitch
I finally saw Twilight. Well, I fast forwarded parts. The parts I enjoyed were Bella's dorky friends. Not the vampire/fantasy/love parts. But the scenes with the normal people.
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Help me!
Ced,
You needz a nice hot bath and a long nap!!!
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I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Diamond Dawg,
Thank you for clarifying. I can handle a lot of trash talk. You can make fun of my momma, my daddy and my kid... But NO ONE talks crap about Oda Mae Brown. That woman had a gift.
Many a night, I imagine the scene where Molly and Oda Mae fondle each other lovingly as I hum myself softly to sleep.
Submitted by crimzon on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:02pm.
Lainey just posted. Story is a load of shite! Thats Emile Hirsch douchy friend from the night before. Oooh, Lainey sounds pissed!
To borrow Shut the Smurf Up's siggie:
Ella dijo! Caso cerrado!
Submitted by freebird on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:08pm.
Submitted by snarkolepsy on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:03pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 11:54am.
I want a real man, like Clive Owen. A manly man who looks and smells like a man.
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When you get done with Clive Owen, clean him up and send him to me. I will break that man in half.
*****
*raises hand* NEXT IN LINE!!! I will put him back together again and then lick him apart. He is a sexy beast!
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i think we should just clone him.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Sensimina on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:16pm.
Wait a minute...Lainey is Asian!?
And that is wrong WHY exactly? She is of Asian descent, which is EXTREMELY normal in Canada...where she's born and residing >.<
Sorry but your comment was sorta fucked up for my not so long awaken head.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30030756/?GT1=43001
Submitted by DivasGone on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:06pm.
Diamond Dawg,
I take offense to your comment. Oda Mae was NOT the fake psychic from "Ghost". In fact, she actually did communicate with Patrick Swayze from the other side... hence, she was not a fake.
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I said she was fake because in the begining of the movie she was a FAKE PSYCHIC. I didn't want to ruin the movie if she had (somehow, I know this sounds impossible) not seen Ghost.
I am not here to defame the lovely Oda Mae.
That is all.
this is why MK & dlist keep me cumming back for more!
"They gathered around their parents' Weber grill in the backyard and held a chanting ceremony where threw her pictures into the fire (along with a pack of Camels) while wishing that her vagina closes for LIFE."
hahaaa!
.
Submitted by crimzon on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:02pm.
Lainey just posted. Story is a load of shite! Thats Emile Hirsch douchy friend from the night before. Oooh, Lainey sounds pissed!
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Lainey always sounds pissed and bitter.
Submitted by DivasGone on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:06pm.
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i did not mean to offend. I was quoting what someone else said. perhaps we were simply mistaken. And I think I was making a complimentary play on the word/name "Oda"
I have a psychic I ADORE & RESPECT. Her name is Julie Jackson and she works out of the Psychic EYe in Sherman Oaks. Since I'm not in So. Cal, I often get readingss with her by telephone (Fri-Sun only, though). I've known her for about 15 years. I'd say her acccuracy rate has been about 90%.
Wait a minute...Lainey is Asian!? She just claimed that she has been mistaken for Tila Tequila in the past...wtf? And she LOOVES Peaches Geldof? There is something not quite right with that bitch.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
COME AT ME, BITCH!
Submitted by snarkolepsy on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 12:03pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 11:54am.
I want a real man, like Clive Owen. A manly man who looks and smells like a man.
_______________
When you get done with Clive Owen, clean him up and send him to me. I will break that man in half.
*****
*raises hand* NEXT IN LINE!!! I will put him back together again and then lick him apart. He is a sexy beast!
Diamond Dawg,
I take offense to your comment. Oda Mae was NOT the fake psychic from "Ghost". In fact, she actually did communicate with Patrick Swayze from the other side... hence, she was not a fake.
Looks like we all might need to be psychic very soon if we want to talk to Patrick Swayze. I'm just sayin...
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 11:54am.
I want a real man, like Clive Owen. A manly man who looks and smells like a man.
_______________
When you get done with Clive Owen, clean him up and send him to me. I will break that man in half.
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"I took your cat. He lives with me now. The cat no longer likes you and The cat and I have become close friends." Criss Angel
Lainey just posted. Story is a load of shite! Thats Emile Hirsch douchy friend from the night before. Oooh, Lainey sounds pissed!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 11:54am.
He's less twink than Efron, but he still does nothing for me. I want a real man, like Clive Owen. A manly man who looks and smells like a man. Not like some Teen Beat version of a male thing.
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Too right!!! I always use Clive Owen as my description of how a REAL MAN should look.
He's less twink than Efron, but he still does nothing for me. I want a real man, like Clive Owen. A manly man who looks and smells like a man. Not like some Teen Beat version of a male thing.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
I rented Twilight to see what all the teenage hype was about and I was horrified by the awful acting. Ok, well, it at least was unintentionally funny so it wasn't a total waste.
"Hmm I can fuck anything that moves, really.."
"Getting tail in NY was SO hard (pffft)..."
"Not Nikki nor Kristen put out as much as I'm entitled to.."
"EH toss me that ho over there, I need to shine my lustrous peen tonight, some french pussay oh yaaa..." (Although she is "american")
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30030756/?GT1=43001
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sat, 05/23/2009 - 11:34am.
I am the age of an adult (a very OLD adult) but I do not act or claim to be one. Don't like the whole concept the adult thing has going for it.
I bought one of those Pedi~Paws things and when I first approached the cats with it, a few of them were HORRIFIED, so I would literally chase them around the house with the thing turned on just to torment the poor furries! I am pleased to say that all cats have now learned to enjoy a Caticure with the PP. The one thing that cracks me up though, is that after I file their nails with it, they sniff their claws for like tens minutes and have these peculiar look like "WTF is that burning nail smell and why is it on my paws?"
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............