Can They Be Thrown Off The Planet Already?
A million cheers to the captain of the yacht who threw Parasite Hilton and her latest victim off the boat for endangering passengers with their public displays of infection. He is a fucking hero to us all!
The Mirror says that Elton John's fupa fluffer, David Furnish, invited Wonky and Doug Reinhardt to a party on a friend's yacht in Cannes the other night. Almost immediately after they got on the boat, Wonky and Doug started doing disgustingly gross shit that made stomachs die.
One source who lived to tell the tale said, "As soon as Paris arrived she had her tongue down Doug's throat. Everyone kept saying how inappropriate they were being but Paris didn't care who was looking. They got so worked up she dragged Doug below deck so they could have some private time. But as they were closing the cubicle door so they could tear into each other, they were caught out. David spotted them and the captain was furious. He kicked them off for unsociable behaviour. Everyone congratulated the captain."
I'm guessing Wonky's presence on the boat was a bigger problem than the witness is making it out to be. Wonky's crotch crustaceans probably ate most of the food. And the food they didn't eat, went rotten once Wonky brought her tongue out. Every drop of alcohol evaporated when Wonky opened the gates to HELL. Not to mention the poor sea creatures living in the waters below. They probably committed mass suicide once they spotted Wonky. They knew that if something should happen and Wonky fell in the water, they would die a slow and painful death from being directly exposed to her lethal snatch sludge. It's better to be safe than really, really, really sorry.
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thats the funniest story i've heard in decades! they appauded?! thats beautiful!
These two getting together and spawning is a sign of the apocalypse.
Why was she invited in the first place?
Must have been a Marri-Yacht!
http://www.AlistZ.net
This is fabulous news....they should of just dumped them off the side of the ship.
Gee, Michael K, why don't you tell us how you *really* feel?:) Fupa fluffer...hysterical.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 2:27am.
awww I think frito needs a makeover!
-0-0-0-0
Why's that, cause I'm not sportin' the Gosslin do?
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:30pm.
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LOL. You must have herpes, too.
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CHARLES MANSON
IVE NEVER HAD A SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE. PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERING ALL THE CHICKS THROUGH THE 60'S AND 70'S. BUT THEN AGAIN I MARRIED THE LAND WHALE IN '75 AND THAT WAS BEFORE THE BIG SHIT LIKE AIDS CLAP AND HERP REALLY HIT THE FAN. UNLESS YOU ARE AN OLD HIPPIE LIKE I AM PREMARITAL SEX WASNT ALL THAT FUCKING COMMON BEFORE THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION IN THE LATE 60'S. IT WAS THAT FUCKERY THAT BROUGHT ON THE LANDSIDE OF DISEASES IN THE LATE 70'S AND THROUGHOUT THE 80'S. LANDWHALE AND I WERE ALREADY MARRIED BY THEN SO IT DIDNT MATTER TO US.
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 1:39am.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:30pm.
Submitted by luckycharms on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 3:40pm.
CHARLES MANSON
I KNOW I HAVE TO BE IN THE EXTREME MINORITY BY SAYING THIS AND WILL PROBABLY GET FUCKING SLAUGHTERED FOR IT, BUT I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PARIS HILTON. SHE WENT OUT FUCKING THERE AND MADE A LOT OF HER OWN DOUGH AND IVE NEVER SEEN HER BE RUDE IN PUBLIC AND SHE TRIES FUCKING HARD TO LOOK PUT TOGETHER AND PRESENTABLE UNLIKE FUCKING SKANKS LIKE LOHAN AND SPEARS. SO SHE GOT A LITTLE SQUIRELLY IN HER YOUNGER YEARS AND CAUGHT THE HERP. THAT CAN FUCKING HAPPEN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.
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You've never seen her be rude in public? How about when she was at a club and a friend of hers caught her saying the "n word" on tape? you don't find that to be rude? How about when She kept getting caught driving under the influence, you don't it rude that she was so selfish that she cared more about driving her ugly car and looking "hot" (no matter how hard she tries, she can never be hot) than the lives of other people?
You don't think it's wrong that when it came time to pay for her actions by doing community service, she didn't do it because she thought she was too good for it, and then acted like a total baby and complete bitch when she had to go to jail for not doing something that she thought she was too good for?
You think this twat is well put together when most of the pictures of her are of her drunk and partying and lifting up her skirt, spreading her legs for multiple sex partners and making sex tapes and taking pictures of herself snorting cocaine off of a friends chest?
If she had it "together" she would care more about herself and not behave that way. She would have used her families plentiful resources and gotten an education, when so many people in this country cannot afford to do so and she would have made something out herself. Not throw fits, whore herself out and refuse to work.
If you think there is nothing wrong with this vile piece of filth, I worry for you
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
reply • report abuse
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 1:27am.
Submitted by z-listed on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 12:12am.
I am so glad somebody finally put Paris in her place, which should have been in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.
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fuck the lifeboat, man. There's a chance she'd survive, get back to shore and continue to make our lives a living hell. She needs to be out in the middle of the ocean with no lifeboat, no life jacket and with something holding her under water.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
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CHARLES MANSON
THANKS FOR WORRYING FOR ME BECAUSE QUIT FRANKLY I FUCKING WORRY FOR MYSELF ENOUGH. I THINK ANYONE WHO HAS LIVED LONG ENOUGH CAN COUNT THE TIMES THEY WISH THEY WOULD HAVE ACTED DIFFERENTLY. IM THE NICEST PERSON IN THE FUCKING WORLD AND SEVERAL MONTHS AGO I HAD ONE TO MANY BEERS AND WAS UNCHARACTERISTICLY RUDE TO A SERVER. I WENT IN THE NEXT DAY AND APOLOGIZED TO HER AND SHE WAS SURPRISING UNDERSTANDING. I GOT A FUCKING DUI ONCE. THANK FUCKING GOD I DIDNT HURT ANYONE AND IT WASNT ONE OF MY SHINNING FUCKING MOMENTS BUT I LEARNED A VERY VALUABLE LESSON. I STAND BY MY COMMENTS. PEOPLE CAN FUCK UP SEVERAL TIMES IN THEIR EARLY 20'S AND MAKE SOME MISTAKES. DOESNT MEAN THEYRE NOT GOOD PEOPLE.
awww I think frito needs a makeover!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
The Gossie Video is here!
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x9dzac_jon-kate...
Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05/
Paris Hilton is an ugly ass bitch, whats up with the fascination of ugly ass blondes, she has a pointy nose, droopy eyes, and looks like skeletor, Fugly ass white trash bitch.
Get a fucking room.
Rotten peach of scrotum
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:30pm.
Submitted by luckycharms on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 3:40pm.
CHARLES MANSON
I KNOW I HAVE TO BE IN THE EXTREME MINORITY BY SAYING THIS AND WILL PROBABLY GET FUCKING SLAUGHTERED FOR IT, BUT I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PARIS HILTON. SHE WENT OUT FUCKING THERE AND MADE A LOT OF HER OWN DOUGH AND IVE NEVER SEEN HER BE RUDE IN PUBLIC AND SHE TRIES FUCKING HARD TO LOOK PUT TOGETHER AND PRESENTABLE UNLIKE FUCKING SKANKS LIKE LOHAN AND SPEARS. SO SHE GOT A LITTLE SQUIRELLY IN HER YOUNGER YEARS AND CAUGHT THE HERP. THAT CAN FUCKING HAPPEN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.
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You've never seen her be rude in public? How about when she was at a club and a friend of hers caught her saying the "n word" on tape? you don't find that to be rude? How about when She kept getting caught driving under the influence, you don't it rude that she was so selfish that she cared more about driving her ugly car and looking "hot" (no matter how hard she tries, she can never be hot) than the lives of other people?
You don't think it's wrong that when it came time to pay for her actions by doing community service, she didn't do it because she thought she was too good for it, and then acted like a total baby and complete bitch when she had to go to jail for not doing something that she thought she was too good for?
You think this twat is well put together when most of the pictures of her are of her drunk and partying and lifting up her skirt, spreading her legs for multiple sex partners and making sex tapes and taking pictures of herself snorting cocaine off of a friends chest?
If she had it "together" she would care more about herself and not behave that way. She would have used her families plentiful resources and gotten an education, when so many people in this country cannot afford to do so and she would have made something out herself. Not throw fits, whore herself out and refuse to work.
If you think there is nothing wrong with this vile piece of filth, I worry for you
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by z-listed on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 12:12am.
I am so glad somebody finally put Paris in her place, which should have been in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.
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fuck the lifeboat, man. There's a chance she'd survive, get back to shore and continue to make our lives a living hell. She needs to be out in the middle of the ocean with no lifeboat, no life jacket and with something holding her under water.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
I am so glad somebody finally put Paris in her place, which should have been in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.
Barring that, at least she was shown that she is NOT the center of the world!
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 12:03am.
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:55pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:49pm.
Ooooh! Well la de daaa... swimming pools, movie stahs and the like and such! I thought you could hit a celeb in BH if you closed your eyes and threw a shoe!
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You can find them a lot faster hanging out near the Burbank Studios.
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Or at rehab or in the case of Phoebe Price or Lindsay Lohan, the welfare office.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:55pm.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:49pm.
Ooooh! Well la de daaa... swimming pools, movie stahs and the like and such! I thought you could hit a celeb in BH if you closed your eyes and threw a shoe!
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You can find them a lot faster hanging out near the Burbank Studios.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:49pm.
Ooooh! Well la de daaa... swimming pools, movie stahs and the like and such! I thought you could hit a celeb in BH if you closed your eyes and threw a shoe!
*reviewing Phoebe Price's 'Where to be seen' manual*
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:47pm.
And to think, Sheeps spent yesterday driving me around Beverly Hills, looking for pseudo-celebs for me to insult. I could've just waited at the airport.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:12pm.
Hehe! Excellent work TV. FFS, someone has to tell them. All those bathroom wall jokes don't seem to be getting through!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:52pm.
Three fingers. *hic*
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I’m not sure the Giants should give up on this season yet. There are several reasons. One reason is that it’s only May. (SF Chron reader)
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 11:05pm.
Yeah, they were standing in line to board first class when the girl behind me start gushing all over them. When she calmed down, I asked her who they were, and she told me. So I said "And we care why? They'll be unknowns again by the time we land". They were both still standing there and heard every word. Best vacation ever!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:54pm.
BRB. IT's almost time for Napoleon Dynamite's dance scene. Summer Wheatly is dancing with the Happy Hands Club! I love that retarded movie!
Me, too.
What can I say?
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:58pm.
In unrelated fake celebrity news, I was just on the same plane out of L.A. as the 2 American Idol finalists. I wanted the pilot to slam the plane into a mountainside, just to eliminate the needless suffering when they release records and rocket right back into obscurity.
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No way! Did you see them? Where was the flight going? I'm sorry you didn't get your wish (of th plane slamming into a mountain, lol - that would have been the awesomest news story of the YEAR!)
In unrelated fake celebrity news, I was just on the same plane out of L.A. as the 2 American Idol finalists. I wanted the pilot to slam the plane into a mountainside, just to eliminate the needless suffering when they release records and rocket right back into obscurity.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
BRB. IT's almost time for Napoleon Dynamite's dance scene. Summer Wheatly is dancing with the Happy Hands Club! I love that retarded movie!
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:49pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:47pm.
I had a solid basis in the fundamentals: 3 parts tequila, one part lime.
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That would be 75/25, am I right? Either that, or drams to pennyweights.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:47pm.
Somebody tell the guy in the pic he has some crap on his face.
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They're BOTH total fuckwits.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:47pm.
I had a solid basis in the fundamentals: 3 parts tequila, one part lime.
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I’m not sure the Giants should give up on this season yet. There are several reasons. One reason is that it’s only May. (SF Chron reader)
Submitted by Rosemary on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:45pm.
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There are only marbles rolling around in her head. She's not thinking about anything except having her picture taken and refilling her Valtrex sripts.
Sheeps, you are a mathematical genius. :)
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Somebody tell the guy in the pic he has some crap on his face.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:42pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:38pm.
If the pic above is any indication, two out of every two people have herpes.
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Can't.stop.laughing!!!!!!!!!!!! Good one, Sheeps!!
You know, Paris might have used men in te past, but she's getting old now and i bet she is scared she will not get married. And i'm not defending her i'm making fun of her. I know benji probably dumped her and I know she really liked him. I think she wants to settle down now and is afraid, like most women her age only, afraid more because she is a slut. lol Wait I mean most unmarried women, and I guess that would go for men too? I dunno....
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:38pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:34pm.
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Yes! IfuckedParisandnowIhavetheherp.com
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AHHHHHHHHH HAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA.
When you look up Herpes in Wikipedia all it says is "In the early 2000's, hotel heiress Paris Hilton began infecting the entire free world with Herpes."
Everyone always beats up Paris, but pictures of her ass cured my chronic masturbation.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:38pm.
OMFG!!!!!! ONE IN 5 PEOPLE HAS HERPES!!!!!!!!!
If the pic above is any indication, two out of every two people have herpes.
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I’m not sure the Giants should give up on this season yet. There are several reasons. One reason is that it’s only May. (SF Chron reader)
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 10:34pm.
And I'd bet my last dollar that he already has herpes, too. Is there a dating site for people with incurable venereal diseases?
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Yes! IfuckedParisandnowIhavetheherp.com
There are many people there. I wonder if there's a cure?
:)
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
OMFG!!!!!! ONE IN 5 PEOPLE HAS HERPES!!!!!!!!!
http://www.globalherbalsupplies.com/herpes/stats.html
Herpes Statistics
One out of five of the total adolescent and adult population is infected with genital herpes.
Infection is more common in women (approximately one out of four women) than in men (almost one out of five).
Male-to-female transmission is more efficient than female-to-male transmission.
One in five Americans have genital herpes (yet at least 80 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it).
About 80 percent of American adults have oral herpes (cold sores).
An estimated 25 percent of American adults have genital herpes.
Genital herpes affects approximately one in six Australian adults
Approximately two-thirds of people who acquire STDs in the United States are younger than 25.1,3
About one in five people in the United States over age 12 (approximately 45 million individuals) are infected with HSV-2, the virus that causes genital herpes.2
According to the A.H.M.F. (Australian Herpes Management Forum) genital herpes is under-diagnosed — of people with genital herpes simplex virus infection only 1 in 5 are diagnosed and, up to 80% of cases of genital herpes are not recognized as such by clinicians.
At least one in four Americans will contract an STD at some point in their lives.
Up to 1 million new HSV-2 infections may be transmitted each year in the United States.1
Costs associated with genital herpes totaled approximately $237 million in 1994.3
Genital herpes infection also is more common among African Americans (45.9%) than among White Caucasian (17.6%).
Since the late 1970s, the number of Americans with genital herpes infection has increased 30%.
The largest increase of genital herpes is among young White teenagers.
Genital herpes infection is now five times more common in 12- to 19-year-old White adolescents.
Genital herpes is twice as common among young adults ages 20 to 29 than it was 20 years ago.
well, since Paris is posted here, I guess what i'm going to say won't look so bad. Lauren Conrad is doing a book tour, you know she is writing or "wrote" three books (or is in the process) and is stopping here in GA at a Barnes and Noble in June. Well I"m a sucker for meeting celebs, pretty much no matter who they are except, I wouldn't want to meet Paris. So, i'm going to stop by and meet her. Well, I wouldn't want to meet quite a few actually, but LC is kinda, well somewhat harmless. I wouldn't go meet someone like Gwenyth or Paris or who else....unless I thought I could get something from them to make money lol. Anyway, I just had to share that lol. I think it's cool in a way, but, I probably won't get to talk to her but two seconds, probably no pictures either.
Submitted by roxie on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 6:19pm.
Only more sickening is Doug's website and bio. He claims he has a knee injury and can't play pro baseball. He is as much a famewore as her
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And I'd bet my last dollar that he already has herpes, too. Is there a dating site for people with incurable venereal diseases?
Submitted by luckycharms on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 3:40pm.
CHARLES MANSON
I KNOW I HAVE TO BE IN THE EXTREME MINORITY BY SAYING THIS AND WILL PROBABLY GET FUCKING SLAUGHTERED FOR IT, BUT I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PARIS HILTON. SHE WENT OUT FUCKING THERE AND MADE A LOT OF HER OWN DOUGH AND IVE NEVER SEEN HER BE RUDE IN PUBLIC AND SHE TRIES FUCKING HARD TO LOOK PUT TOGETHER AND PRESENTABLE UNLIKE FUCKING SKANKS LIKE LOHAN AND SPEARS. SO SHE GOT A LITTLE SQUIRELLY IN HER YOUNGER YEARS AND CAUGHT THE HERP. THAT CAN FUCKING HAPPEN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.
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LOL. You must have herpes, too.
Can't Dougieboy tell when he's being used?? Penis Skankton is a well known user. Can't keep friends and can't keep a man. Doug thinks he's gonna be backing his Brinks truck thang up and he'll do anything to realize that dream, including shanking a world class hobag with his dick. Too bad Peeny is only trying to reclaim a share of the world's spotlight from those who are truly talented at Cannes and she/he is using Doug the Sap to do it with such gross but laughable PDA.
just goes to show ya that all the money in the world cant buy you class.
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/22/09 @ 38w4d
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
She is just doing her thing so I can't blame her for continuing with the stupidity that earns her money.
Old Doug is a different story. The man, like the rest of the planet, is well informed of her status as Queen of the Crabs and High Priestess of the Rotten Labia.
But he still CHOSE to put it on his arm!
Doug, Doug, Doug..
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 9:11pm.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 9:06pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 8:52pm.
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But will they be as hot as the guys over at SeekMormons. com?
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Those Mormons ARE hot, but they don't hold a candle to the guys at SeekRednecks.com
I wonder what their mullets are looking for?
*****
A Bud Light and the perfect huntin rifle. Maybe a banjo to duel with.
When will old Plague Pussay Paris get the hint her party is over?
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 9:06pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 8:52pm.
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But will they be as hot as the guys over at SeekMormons. com?
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Those Mormons ARE hot, but they don't hold a candle to the guys at SeekRednecks.com
I wonder what their mullets are looking for?
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 8:52pm.
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But will they be as hot as the guys over at SeekMormons. com?
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If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.