Can They Be Thrown Off The Planet Already?
A million cheers to the captain of the yacht who threw Parasite Hilton and her latest victim off the boat for endangering passengers with their public displays of infection. He is a fucking hero to us all!
The Mirror says that Elton John's fupa fluffer, David Furnish, invited Wonky and Doug Reinhardt to a party on a friend's yacht in Cannes the other night. Almost immediately after they got on the boat, Wonky and Doug started doing disgustingly gross shit that made stomachs die.
One source who lived to tell the tale said, "As soon as Paris arrived she had her tongue down Doug's throat. Everyone kept saying how inappropriate they were being but Paris didn't care who was looking. They got so worked up she dragged Doug below deck so they could have some private time. But as they were closing the cubicle door so they could tear into each other, they were caught out. David spotted them and the captain was furious. He kicked them off for unsociable behaviour. Everyone congratulated the captain."
I'm guessing Wonky's presence on the boat was a bigger problem than the witness is making it out to be. Wonky's crotch crustaceans probably ate most of the food. And the food they didn't eat, went rotten once Wonky brought her tongue out. Every drop of alcohol evaporated when Wonky opened the gates to HELL. Not to mention the poor sea creatures living in the waters below. They probably committed mass suicide once they spotted Wonky. They knew that if something should happen and Wonky fell in the water, they would die a slow and painful death from being directly exposed to her lethal snatch sludge. It's better to be safe than really, really, really sorry.
ShareThis
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 8:52pm.
hahaha. I liked the spammer's "lol" at the end. Wait till he/she learns the ♥.
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I’m not sure the Giants should give up on this season yet. There are several reasons. One reason is that it’s only May. (SF Chron reader)
Caw-Caw
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 8:47pm.
Does anyone know where I can meet some hot and wealthy Muslims? Can anyone recall if there's a website dedicated to finding some Muslim love?
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Why yes! There are many hot and wealthy Muslims there. I wonder what they are looking for?
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Does anyone know where I can meet some hot and wealthy Muslims? Can anyone recall if there's a website dedicated to finding some Muslim love? ________________________________________________
If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 7:15pm.
If she was just any other gangly big-bird type blonde chick and couldn't get him press he would never fuck her. I mean most guys would not want to risk getting the herp unless they got something more than boring sex out of it.
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Gangly bird type blonde. I love it! I don't think I've run into anyone that actually finds the ostrich that is Paris Hilton to be attractive. And you're right, he's only doing her for the fame. He should have chosen George Clooney to be his stepping stone, at least with the Cloon, his dick won't rot off.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
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The Captain for Hot Slut! I can picture Wonky and Doug being sent adrift in the middle of the ocean in a little dingy...good luck!
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Hahahahahahaha! Take the hint, Wonky - you're not wanted!
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"I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking." --Brian Kinney
I hate that despite the fact that the world has shown their utter dislike for this piece of shit, she still refuses to disappear. We've spelled out for her, people have made fun of her to her face, they've made a mockery of her to her face on live TV and this diseased waste of oxygen still will not go away. She is torturing the entire world with her presence.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by blueangel on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 4:01pm.
What disrespectful pieces of trash they both are. They should have stayed home if they wanted to behave like animals.
You are so right, but methinks their fame-whore libidos don't work without an audience.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
paris should go away.
If she was just any other gangly big-bird type blonde chick and couldn't get him press he would never fuck her. I mean most guys would not want to risk getting the herp unless they got something more than boring sex out of it.
cock & sucker
Only more sickening is Doug's website and bio. He claims he has a knee injury and can't play pro baseball. He is as much a famewore as her.
Adam Lambert new singer of Queen?
http://russjosephs.wordpress.com
Why Adam really got voted off:
http://russjosephs.wordpress.com/2009/05/21/robbed/
Tons of pics of people wasted from Facebook
http://wastebook.wordpress.com
I seriously feel like the caption this mannaquin lady (yeah.. the one w/the hand)
1st son born day b4 st pattys
2nd born day before our anniv. and his gm's birthday
3rd... day b4 memorial? ON Memorial?
????
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/22/09 @ 38w4d
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 5:36pm.
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Hahaha, ok you win.
The best I can come up with is "Orango & Cashingin".
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Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 5:28pm.
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Todger and Hammertoes?
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 5:19pm.
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Dummy and Clod?
Thundervag & Lamefoot?
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À la peanut butter sandwiches!
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 5:14pm.
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OnT: what do we call the new couple...Doris, Poug, Reinis...?
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Dumb and Dumber?
Turner and Cootch?
Gaping Vagina and Meathead?
The possibilities are endless.
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 5:09pm.
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Hahahaha...good point IG. How's the storm?
(Geezus when you looked for a balaclava pic you went all out, dincha?)
OnT: what do we call the new couple...Doris, Poug, Reinis...?
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À la peanut butter sandwiches!
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 5:08pm.
Baklava gave me itchy trigger finger.
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Funny, balaclavas do the same thing to me. :)
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/92/245246209_68791128c3_o.jpg
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Baklava gave me itchy trigger finger.
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À la peanut butter sandwiches!
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 4:47pm.
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...open bar.
(sorry for late reply; had to have a baklava break. ;) )
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À la peanut butter sandwiches!
wonder if she's had a boob job yet. might as well. she's already a big boob
.
Submitted by The C word on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 4:43pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 4:41pm
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Stubborn little guy...must be enjoying himself in there. :)
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Haha! I'm sure he is! It's warm, it's cosy, you're rocked by mama's movements. Who in their right mind would want to leave that?
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With a bit of patience and repetition, you can teach your kitty to sit, lie down and come on command.
Submitted by chefcammi on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 4:36pm.
no baby.
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Wow. I've been reading your updates and actually sigh in sympathy when I see you posting, cuz I know it means...'no baby'. Everytime some smug friend (or doctor) would say to me, "Well now, he/she will come when they're ready" I wanted to claw their eyes out, even though I recognized what they said was true. Man, as you know, you are SO ready at the end to just push that kid out.
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With a bit of patience and repetition, you can teach your kitty to sit, lie down and come on command.
He's a good-looking douchebag. She's just plain disgusting.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 4:41pm
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Stubborn little guy...must be enjoying himself in there. :)
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À la peanut butter sandwiches!
Submitted by chefcammi on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 4:36pm.
no baby.
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Yikes! At this rate, your son is going to be born carrying a lunch box! I feel for you hon, mine was two weeks overdue and he's been late for everything ever since. :)
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
no baby.
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/22/09 @ 38w4d
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
@ charles manson-"SO SHE GOT A LITTLE SQUIRELLY IN HER YOUNGER YEARS AND CAUGHT THE HERP. THAT CAN FUCKING HAPPEN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE."
2 sentances that both summarize her and emote a forgiving attitude. I hate her but Ive gotta say what you wrote is just beautiful
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:52pm.
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Thanks for posting that Louise..a good, juicy read.
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With a bit of patience and repetition, you can teach your kitty to sit, lie down and come on command.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 3:47pm.
No worries at all. My sheep avie is non-gender-specific. Thanks for kind words. *off to therapy*
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I’m not sure the Giants should give up on this season yet. There are several reasons. One reason is that it’s only May. (SF Chron reader)
I mean against my better judgement. Wanted to point out that I'm aware of my error so I dont appear as stupid as Doug n' Paris. God, I hate these two.
Against my beter judgement I clicked on the link to Doug's webpage and shrieked with laughter, although I'm not sure thats what he's going for.
What disrespectful pieces of trash they both are. They should have stayed home if they wanted to behave like animals. Just goes to show that money can't buy class. . . especially if your name is Hilton or Doug Reinhardt!
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:57pm.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:53pm.
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Oh my. Sowwy, my bad... people usually get my gender wrong as well, and think I'm a guy.
Regardless, man, you're on FIYAH today!
OT: What the shit are these dumbfucks doing in Cannes?
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"If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone."
CHARLES MANSON
I KNOW I HAVE TO BE IN THE EXTREME MINORITY BY SAYING THIS AND WILL PROBABLY GET FUCKING SLAUGHTERED FOR IT, BUT I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PARIS HILTON. SHE WENT OUT FUCKING THERE AND MADE A LOT OF HER OWN DOUGH AND IVE NEVER SEEN HER BE RUDE IN PUBLIC AND SHE TRIES FUCKING HARD TO LOOK PUT TOGETHER AND PRESENTABLE UNLIKE FUCKING SKANKS LIKE LOHAN AND SPEARS. SO SHE GOT A LITTLE SQUIRELLY IN HER YOUNGER YEARS AND CAUGHT THE HERP. THAT CAN FUCKING HAPPEN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.
We heard it from a knowledgeable Hollywood sister, Miss Lory
lainey had a very funny capture of hilton (deliberately?) dropping her diamond bracelet with the expectation that her man would gallantly stoop down and pick it up. he didn't; but he did fumble with fastening it back on for her.
he's as much a press whore as she is.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:53pm.
I'm a guy, but no worries. Just hope Sluttsville doesn't see that.... (She's really mean.)
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I’m not sure the Giants should give up on this season yet. There are several reasons. One reason is that it’s only May. (SF Chron reader)
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:39pm.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:23pm.
The toon is classic, huh? I liked this part of his resume:
"Furthermore, Doug works with Entrepreneurial Properties Corporation where he is involved in multi-family real estate investments. Doug conducts extensive research and analysis of various metropolitan areas in the Midwest and Southwest to determine their investment potential."
Translation: Doug has looked online for an apartment in St. Louis or Phoenix.
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Girl, you're on FYAH today!!
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"If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone."
Pity they weren't thrown into the sea where they could've drowned.
'Having a good home base and a good sense of self is really important. To me, that leads to outer beauty. I want to support him to be an individual. When you have that inner confidence and a good center, it makes you beautiful.'~Xtina
Found it! House of Hilton By Jerry Oppenheimer. There is an excerpt giving some info about Rick and Kathy Hilton.
"When Paris and Nicky informed hotel employees who they were, the workers ran the other way. The philosophy was--if you run into Rick and Kathy or their daughters, just keep your head down and your mouth shut. "Kathy was absolutely pushy, arrogant, condescending, and presumptuous, and Paris picked that up from her," observes Yakovlev. "The spotlight always had to be on Kathy. It was always, 'Do you know who we are?' 'Do you know who I am?' Rick was usually like a bump on a log. He had a look on his face like he was taking a bowel movement."
http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307351951&view...
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:38pm.
Here's a tidbit guaranteed to make anyone vomit:
Lady Elton John is said to be a top.
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Where did you get that gem? Do tell!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
I read somewhere that the boat had to be scrapped, no way to disinfectatize the thing.
True Story
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Hey baby! Did heaven lose a star? 'cause you've got niiiiiiice cans...
SHE LOOKS SO FREAKING STUPID WITH THOSE HEAD BANDS ON!!!!!
Mrs PC...wouldn't the sorta crush anyone on the bottom?? just asking
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Sun, 05/24/2009 - 2:23pm.
The toon is classic, huh? I liked this part of his resume:
"Furthermore, Doug works with Entrepreneurial Properties Corporation where he is involved in multi-family real estate investments. Doug conducts extensive research and analysis of various metropolitan areas in the Midwest and Southwest to determine their investment potential."
Translation: Doug has looked online for an apartment in St. Louis or Phoenix.