The Return Of Susan Boyle
Our current reigning Hot Slut of the Month, Susan Boyle, returned to the Britain's Got Talent stage last night with freshly pruned brows and a new luscious mop on her head. Since Susan is the most famous cat lady in the world, it seemed fitting that she sang "Memory" from Cats! I'm sure that every Sunday afternoon, Susan dresses up as Grizabella using hairballs coughed off from her cat and waltzes around singing this in her home. At least, I should hope so.
At first, Susan sounds like an old car engine trying to start on an ice cold morning, but then she kicks herself in her vocal chords and out comes the dazzling hummingbird voice that everyone on the planet fell in love with. It's no shock that Susan was voted on to the next round. Even if she ate live babies on stage, she would still make it to the finals. Susan can do no wrong and don't you try to say otherwise! If you don't stand or shed a single tear when Susan serenades you, a place card with your name on it will suddenly appear at the grand dining table in HELL.
And that wasn't a strobe light at the end of her performance. That was God himself beaming through her!
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I hate that song from Cats almost as much as I Will always love you.
Do that many vote when they have to pay each time? Fucken hell. Then the dick is saying that they only have 10 mins to vote but calls that come in after that will be charged for anyway. Good to fend off people from voting isn't it?
Submitted by lizzieb on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 6:44am.
Lunch time here. Have made it to work but every bastard seems to be shouting their heads off for some reason! Thanks for not taking the piss.
Nice! Then you're sure to appreciate the marching band I've arranged for after-lunch entertainment.
There are by far better singers out there, but I wish her the best. This is the most excitement the poor gal has probably ever had in her life. That's what makes her appealing I think, to know that someone who never had a spotlight on her is now shining in her own right! Hope she wins on her personal merit alone. Sometimes it's not about what talent you have, but the gumption that is behind it. Lord knows there are talentless twatmuffins running around with only beauty to sustain them.
Go Susan GO!
@sheeps
Lunch time here. Have made it to work but every bastard seems to be shouting their heads off for some reason! Thanks for not taking the piss.
Submitted by cprincess on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 10:41pm.
I dont think that Americans find the hosts hard to understand because of their Geordie( New Castle) accents -which they dont have incidentally -but because they sound thick as planks (morons) and are annoying with it......
Er, what makes you think they don't have Geordie (Newcastle is one word by the way) accents? As for the annoying, they don't annoy me but to each their own.
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
This heifer is SO fucking overrated. The only reason people give a shit is because she is so ugly - which is fairly ironic.
When does the Susan Boyle sex tape hit the internet?
I was cringing a bit for her at the beginning. It took her a moment to warm up but when she did she really nailed it. I got chills and tears in my eye on that last verse which shocked me. She has a dynamic voice but she's just so damn hard to look at.
You constipated turd farts echoing off of each other in a chamber of stinky poo that are dissing Susan need to grow the frick up. This is a dream of a woman who has wanted to be a singer all of her life and now she has the chance to [deservedly] live it. How well would any of *YOU* nay-sayers do if you had that kind of sudden impact and pressure to perform? Her inner soul pulled through. Did you see her grab at her chest to reach within herself? When people sing from their hearts and souls that's what they do.
-And, how come not one person noticed that Susan has good teeth! For an English woman that's HUGE. Do something salubrious for yourselves and brush your teefers and eat some raw honey and goji berries and listen to music that uplifts you or better yet, learn to fucking sing it yourself. ;p
I dont think that Americans find the hosts hard to understand because of their Geordie( New Castle) accents -which they dont have incidentally -but because they sound thick as planks (morons) and are annoying with it......
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
She was okay, but her success is not making me feel any more hopeful or inspired about whats going on in the world, that is going a bit fat Pierce or whatever his name is...I mean far...(I am still unemployed even though she is singing her heart out & warming the hearts of the world)...She is a lot less socially retarded here, she is learning to show more of her personality. All in all good for her, but "whatever" at the same time...
Uh oh. Over the moon watch.
I'm over the moon for her!
haha MK youse funny. SuBo's voice isn't bad at all but I still think there's better out there. Personally and even though I can't sing a fucking note, I thought that performance was mediocre and rough. Completely lacking and who needs a pity clap anyways?
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Yeah she wont win any beauty pagents but talent Susy kicks some ass. I can see her doing broadway but she has to stay away from the homely look.
I'm Happy that Susan made over her Makeover. It was scarey I was losing hope with these so called make up artist and fashion designers. I knew they would clean her up. It just took to long. Knock'em dead Susy.
still the hottest and can sing like a bird with soul! You rawk Susan!
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"There's something wrong with us! Something very, very wrong with us! Something seriously wrong with us!"- John Winger
I loved the audition, because like everyone else (well ok, 'cept Dannysgirl) I was impressed by how most people fell into the trap of sneering at her for being uppity enough to think she could get up there, looking like she did (hmm, interesting sociological experiment there) Now that I'm accustomed to the yin and yang of her dumpy frumpiness versus her angelic voice, the thrill is gone. She has a great voice and so do lots of other people. Plus she's homely as a picket fence.
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Submitted by lizzieb on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 5:56pm.
Think of me at work tomorrow, feeling shite and checking to see if made an arse of self on here!
hahahaha. Will do. No, I thought their names were Ant and Dec, but your explanation makes more sense.
Submitted by Sheeps on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 5:31pm.
Nope, but their names are hard to understand. Carry on with the drinking.
Hmm. Am too drunk to be sure if you want me to say they are Anthony and Declan (many Brits are of Irish descent, my lovely self included) or..do you know what, don't care, Am drunk and going to work tomorrow. This is not good.
On topic, tonight's show was not as good but I am hopelessly invested. Worrying about who to vote for- this person is better but oh dear, don't want to upset this person. I know it's all manipulated but damn, it's compelling. Sorry re spelling and good night UK and Europe. Think of me at work tomorrow, feeling shite and checking to see if made an arse of self on here!
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Submitted by ricki lake on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 3:03pm.
Fuck this fleshbag of fried chicken. She looks like a putrescent, sun-curdled sheep's lining. She deserves to die.
That's a bit harsh. She's just not a stick insect with silicone tits, dyed hair and bulimia breath. Poor woman, not looking like Barbie is not actually a crime- yet.
Again, apols for spelling- been dodging rain at a barbie.
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Submitted by lizzieb on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 7:11am.
Just out of interest,I was told that Americans find the hosts, Ant and Dec, hard to understand due to their Newcastle accents. Is this true?
Nope, but their names are hard to understand. Carry on with the drinking.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 7:13am.
Submitted by lizzieb on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 7:11am.
I had no problem understanding them, but I'm a bit surprised they got jobs hosting a non-regional show.
Interesting. They are very popular and host a lot of stuff- they also were actors together in a hugely popular soap for kids and even pop singers. I don't think the regional, non regional thing applies so much in the UK. Maybe this is becuase we are so small that it can start raining in Scotland at lunch time and be raining in London by tea time. An American bloke I used to work with said that the difference between the US and the UK was we thought 100 miles was a long way and he thought 100 years was a long time. Not sure how relevant that is but wanted to say it. Thanks for replying.
edited to add: sorry about spelling, been drinking! (bank holiday here)
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The streets of hell are paved with good intentions.
~ Twain
Gag~ I didnt have sound so I tried to watch her, and I about puked thinking of all of the fatty rolls on her body.
**HoHan's idea of a bath is putting on more eyeshadow. Devilgirl~ 1/9/09**
her performance sounded robotic - a pretty voice with absolutely NIL interpretative abilities. still, i'd stick her one on a dark, lonely night.
Fuck this fleshbag of fried chicken. She looks like a putrescent, sun-curdled sheep's lining. She deserves to die. I hope someone cuts her throat open and drinks her blood out of some satanic, ritualistic obligation. Goat-faced bitch. Her mediocre voice and maudlin back-story disgust me to the extreme. Someone snipe this bitch, please. When she inevitably wins this show I truly hope someone with common sense will assassinate this untalented heifer and put as all out of our misery.
I wanna hear her "Velma" from "Chicago".
Start the car I know a whoopie spot
Where the eyebrow tweezer's is cold
But the curling iron's hot
It's just an old salon
Over a coffee shop
And
All That JAZZZZZZZZ
Submitted by Tem on Mon, 05/25/2009 - 2:16pm.
Your cat needs to start feeling good about him/herself without the hollow numbers of anonymous voyeurs into it's little life.
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Seriously.
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Your cat needs to start feeling good about him/herself without the hollow numbers of anonymous voyeurs into it's little life.
I want to be full of hatred for her fifteen minutes of fame like you folks but I can't bring myself to care that much.
Nice audio goof when Simon sips his water at the end though. WHAT THE FUCK>?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Easy peasy - that last song she sang every day for the last 20 years - this one is newer, betcha any money. She's a great singer. And she's a lot more pleasant to look at. I don't hate her. I hate the lemming mentality that she (the media) has initiated.
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the princess fiona's nana Vs forrest gump, mashup.
Screw the naysayers. The woman did a wonderful job. It brought a tear to my eye and I felt it. Susan deserves all the attention she's getting.
MK, did you notice that host guy said something along the lines of "You must be OVER THE MOON right now" at the end of the clip?
She sounded HORRIBLE singing Cats and anyone who disagrees is a bloody cunt!
Damn this world is so over processed and fake and devoid of creativity..makes me sick!
She sounded like a sick cat screetching, hurried through her lyrics and smiled like a retard. Yea Susan, I hope your 15 minutes is up!
From someone who can actually carry a tune- you suck!
lol he totally said "over the moon" ah hahahaha
What happened with the over the moon watch? I think MK was too enchanted by her cat lady ways to notice. Oh my!
As for her voice, it started bad but it got pretty damn good at the end. I cannot sing like that, hell, I cannot even humm so I am pretty impressed.
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Yikes, she had a lot of problems with that song. I just resent being played by the producers of the show. Susan is someone who's been trying to break onto the music scene for many years, and it was disingenuous to portray her as a newcomer.
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I’m just saying it’s a perception that can be perceived from it.
He said "over the moon!"
i liked susan's performance better the first time but this one was good as well.
Out of all the talented contestants she wants to sing for the queen the most. She has to win! If she loses then.. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
Damn it, she made me cry AGAIN!!!!! I hope she wins the whole darn thing.
I'm sorry but she's not that great. She's okay but not great.
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She is fan-fucking-tastic. And that song breaks my heart every time I hear it. Some may be "over her," but I'm not. She's blessed with a wonderful voice, and I hope she wins. :)
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she could use a chin(s) tuck
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EMBRACE THE FRUMP!
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I just saved a bunch of money watching this clip, the laser eye surgery that I was planning, I no longer need it after that light show began.
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If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Go Susan! If there are other people out there whose voices are so much better, where are they? Perhaps they don't have the guts to push their frump onstage and do it. Susan did, so she deserves kudos.
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* colossal yawn*
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............