Jon & Kate's Shitty Marriage Is Ratings Gold
9.8 million hos spent 1 hour of their lives watching Jon & Cunty Beaverhead Plus 8 last night. This was easily TLC's most watch episode ever. Jon & Kate even beat the Lost season finale in the ratings. That has to hurt. Sadly, I was not among the 9.8 million suckahs who watched, because I went to bed at like 8 o'clock after being up for 30 hours straight (don't ask). I wanted to make sure I was fully coherent when I watched, so that I could take precise notes on how to be a bigger and better cunt. Kate is the master at this and she deserves my undivided attention. I watched a bunch of old episodes this past weekend and it really is like a master class in how to be a mega bitch. The reviews from the critics confirm this.
UsWeekly compiled a few:
On Kate saying her life in the media spotlight is so hard: "Is it really, Kate? Tell that to a family in which the breadwinner has just lost her or his job, you silly, self-absorbed fool." - Baltimore SunOn Kate saying the paparazzi following them is creepy: "What's creepy is having your children followed around by a camera crew. Any camera crew. Period. It's exploitation, whatever cutesy name you want to give it." New Jersey's Star Ledger
On Kate saying she's alone 6 times when Jon goes away for the weekend: "You just wanted to say, 'We get it! You feel you're the Wronged Woman! Aren't you savvy enough by now to know you're not winning us over?' This was especially true when she noted that 'all of a sudden, your kids are calling you your babysitter's name.' I could almost hear millions of viewers shouting, 'So stay home!'" - Entertainment Weekly
Beautiful, right? Kate probably came a million times over after reading the reviews.
Just from watching a few clips online, it looks like an episode of Faces of Death. Seriously, it's like witnessing their marriage get hit by a train in slow motion. I mean, in the clip above, you can cut the awkwardness with one of Bai Ling's razor nipples. They should be speaking to a therapist not a fucking producer.
My favorite part has to be when the producers asks them what the future holds. Kate says, "I'm here" and Jon says "I'm here....for the kids." I expected the rabid beaver on Kate's head to pounce on Jon's crotch and bite into it. Obviously, when Kate pulled his nuts out she missed some of the root, because it sounds like they are starting to grow back.
ShareThis
My other heart attack inducment is her incessant
Am I always right? No!
Am I perfect? No! I have never said I have all the answers or do everything better than everyone else!
Then she proceeds to live her life like the sanctimoneous, self-righteous bitch she is. She tries to cover her ass by saying she's not perfect but lives her life like she is.
"Submitted by mike on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:59pm.
Wait, this shit is on The Learning Channel? What is the viewer learning? How to be an execrable human being? Seriously this show and the Duggar show is worse than any reality show on VH1."
I'm learning how not to act toward my future husband.
--------------------------------------
Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
Wait, this shit is on The Learning Channel? What is the viewer learning? How to be an execrable human being? Seriously this show and the Duggar show is worse than any reality show on VH1.
I watched last night's episode with my Mom (Mother/Daughter bonding time - ugh) and she was crying. I'm like, dude, the bitch did this shit to herself. Maybe if she wasn't a fucking cuntrag, her marriage would still be in tact. Maybe if she took Jon's feelings in for once, she'd realize how unhappy the show made him. I mean, the folks film three days out of the week, and half that time, I'm sure, she's out on speaking engagements, etc. etc. Fame has totally went to her Skunk-likehead and it's a shame. Jon seems like a great guy who just needs a break. Fuck Kate and her fucking tears.
--------------------------------------
Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
I'm sure someone else has suggested this, but is it possible all this "marriage trouble" is just something staged to boost ratings?
Do you know what he looks like? Wooly Willy, that toy where you drag the magnetic filings around to create beards, moustaches, etc. on the little face.
Missed it last night becaus emy cable was actingup. Its coming on again tonight at 8
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
HE HAS A RIGHT TO THOSE (oops) children too.. he needs to step up and contact a lawyer and put a stop to it.. but he wont.. he likes the $$
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/22/09 @ 38w4d
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
I've never seen the show, but from the bits and pieces I've seen here... it's clear that she is a raging delusional selfish bitch from hell, but I think it's just as glaring that he is an obnoxious, passive-aggressive, dumbass man-child. Those poor children. No child signs up for shit like this. It should be illegal. Seriously. If you are a consenting adult and want to ruin your life/relationship/reputation/dignity... fine. But it should not be allowed that children are subjected to this lifestyle and stress.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:00pm.
Submitted by Sheeps:"I don't know what the truth is. But I know reality shows are heavily scripted."
And cast aggressively. My SIL is a reality TV producer. She says that they actively seek the most irrational, most outrageous attention whores possible. That, coupled with editing, are the "magic" of reality TV. The producers manufacture crises, too.
Is this because of the writers' strikes? Has Hollywood just gone the cheap route, instead of paying real actors, and decent writers, directors, and others that make a drama or comedy good?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by betterthanyomama on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:34pm.
Midlife crisis? I think he's 33.
Hiya Kate!
:)
He is so FUCKING ugly, how did she ever marry him?
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
I can't believe how stupid they were to put their family on a reality show in the first place. How could they not expect something like this to happen? I get that it must be hard to pay the bills with 8 kids, but come on.
Although they probably would have ended up like this anyway. If I remember what she said from the show correctly, they were married at 23, had twins at 24, and sextuplets at 28. And parents of "multiples" have triple the divorce rate. That's without the strain of being in front of cameras all the time.
During the whole episode I kept thinking of that joke from The Soup: Jon Minus Nine!
1. Jon was drunk/high during the interview segments, I even rewinded to watch again and he definitely slurred his words and had the glow. That man ain't sober.
2. If Kate talks about work or business one more time I might stroke. She has no job, he has no job. 8 kids have a job. What the fuck is "away on business...?" The kids ARE the business. Get and keep your unemployed asses home.
3. Neither parent had any interaction with the other parents at the birthday party - only to direct them to various games and activities and to point out the paps and the cameras to them. Zero family or outside friends present, only kids from school and their parents. Plus nannies and "PA's" as Kate calls them.
4. Kate pointed out so many times that it was just her, like she was single parent yet she travelled ON BUSINESS!! 50 days out of something like 65.
5. The kid busted Jon on living over the garage, telling him she missed him, he acted like it was that he was WORKING but it's actually because he no longer lives in the main house.
6. Kate wanted to dump Jon in it for saying he's home fulltime and Kate is whoring around the country so she had to dump herself in it by saying "yeah but he's not alone, we have help!!" referring to the nannines, housekeepers and cook that she wouldn't admit they have.
6. I annoy myself I know so much but I actually watched this years ago, when it was a once off doc. So I followed it a bit and did douche out and watched it last night.
Scheming liars. They need to stop the cameras about 10 seconds ago and put this shit to bed. Gross. Those poor kids. They sit on the couch and bash each other and then keep yapping about "it's all for the kids!!" including the mansion, highlights, $400 dollar shoes and designer purses and first class air tickets when travelling without the kids. Scumbag heaven.
Watching Jon there...his bullshit PC answers...his standing by his story...his needing "time"...and all that comes to mind is, Jon, Mother Fuck You!!! You are lucky to be the other half of that train wreck because were you my 'other half', I would be carting the other half of your shit up the driveway-you over tanned, hair plugged fuck face of a mid life crisis. You should have been porking 23 year olds when you were trying to create your own colony. NOW you need time-NOW you can't take it-NOW Motherfucker? NOW?!?! No wonder Kate talks to you like a little bitch-who knows what spineless boohooing your shifty ass does behind closed doors? Shit-I hope SHE IS screwing the bodyguard-with a dickless whiny bitch like you for a husband, she was really left with little choice in the matter. And, I hope he kicks your fucking ass for embarrassing HIS woman-Jon, you're the fucking CUNT!!!!!!!!!!! I'd eat Paris Hilton's diseased snatch-SOBER-before I let a sorry weasel mother fucker like that even THINK about mounting my ass.
Nice. So they get a bunch of $$$$$ for acting like idiots on national television? There's talent. I'm sure they're fighting over sponsors right now.
wow the media and the show are trying to destroy this family
unless it's all fake...I've seen alot of reality shows fake shit up...
kind of like the era of rigged game shows
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Eff these two, you know who I wanna see in a no-holds-barred interview?? K8's parents, sister, all the people who work around the Gosselin home and their neighbors! THAT would beat the 9.8 million viewers in the ASS.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
<"9.8 million hos...">
You got that right. Not only is it certain no straight dude would watch ten seconds, that isn't even campy enough for the gays.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 4:59pm.
There is a You Tube series called, "Jon and Kate, The Ugly Moments" that you have to watch! She's horrible and he's only slightly better.
-----------------------
I just checked a few of those out! WOW! She is a harpy/harpie!
************************************************************
Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by Salem13 on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:09pm.
You know, less than a month ago I had no idea who these people were
***************
i think a lot of people didnt know who they were until marriage went into shitter, i thought i was the only watching for a long time, haha nobody else i knew did! but i was hypnotized by the dead carcass on kates head and how she talked to that poor man! i'm tivo'ing this nonsense 7pm cst
***********************************
"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
damn MK!
I mean we all know you like to get down and toke it up but 30 hours straight...
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:09pm.
*tearing up dinner invite to Hekki's house*
Submitted by Sheeps: "...Right, then egg them on to conflict..."
No wonder my SIL is so successful at her job!
You know, less than a month ago I had no idea who these people were.
--------------------------------------
Bitches keep bitchin'
Submitted by applehead on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:06pm.
I used to watch this in the beginning, until my husband asked why would I watch screaming kids on T.V. when I have my own screaming kids
Lol. you sound like my friend thats in and out of jail...always watches those Lockdown shows and then one day it hit him 'i hate jail, why the fuck am i watching this shit'
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
It's nobody else's business but yours, huh?
Shouldn't it have been nobody else's business when your children were being toilet trained on national TV?
Shouldn't it have been nobody else's business when Jon get hair plugs and the bloody surgery was broadcast for all to see?
Face it, your life is nobody else's business, but you decided to put it out there.
I have no sympathy for you two, just for your emotionally damaged children.
STFU, Jon and Kate.
I used to watch this in the beginning, until my husband asked why would I watch screaming kids on T.V. when I have my own screaming kids that I put to bed earlier. I had to think about that one...so I turned to a first 48 hrs or some show like that and have never turned back
Go the fuck away already and give the kids to Angelina...done!
--------------------------------------------
"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
PFIZER MADE JON + KATE PLUS 8!! NOT JON + BRUCE PLUS 8
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Submitted by GazingBeauty on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 4:59pm.
They pauses are not "reflection" pauses. Instead they are..."shit...what is my next line?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU FUCKING NAILED IT!
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:01pm.
They're full of it. Now they are going to boo hoo every chance they get because they know it will get them on magazines, TV and eventually a book deal.
UGH! I don't even watch this show and I could only make it a little past a minute in this clip.
I love the reviews!! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 5:00pm.
Right, then egg them on to conflict, as on Real World. Even the cooking shows have turned that way. :)
I've tried to watch the show, but I find it boring. I'm really only interested in my own kids, and I never seem to tune in when Kate is being a cunt.
I'd rather see the "ugly moments" things on Youtube. (thanks, Louise Brooks!)
I flicked over to this mess during a commercial. Lasted less than 45 seconds of this cunt being well...a CUNT at the b-day party.
Jon looks like he has been tased.
Awww those poor people, boofuckityhoo. Reap what you sow motherfuckers. REAP. WHAT. YOU. SOW.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
..."Everything I do is for my kids..I work for my kids..I work harder because of my kids." Bitch please! Work? Doing what? Being a narcisstic, stuck up bitch with a bad hair cut who pimps out her kids for profit and ratings is not work!
***"At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die." ***
Submitted by Sheeps:"I don't know what the truth is. But I know reality shows are heavily scripted."
And cast aggressively. My SIL is a reality TV producer. She says that they actively seek the most irrational, most outrageous attention whores possible. That, coupled with editing, are the "magic" of reality TV. The producers manufacture crises, too.
Obviously, when Kate pulled his nuts out she missed some of the root, because it sounds like they are starting to grow back.
~~~~~
LOL! That was awesome
There is a You Tube series called, "Jon and Kate, The Ugly Moments" that you have to watch! She's horrible and he's only slightly better.
I don't know why they had one kid together, let alone eight. Neither of them seem very interested in parenting.
Did she really say that??
OMG!!!!
ubmitted by xerquina on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 4:55pm.
Submitted by devilgirl on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 4:53pm.
Like with AI, I feel so out of the loop with Jon and Kate.
*************
LOL me too. i still don't even know what channel TLC is on my comcast.
------------------------
I have the channel, but have never even seen where it is on my Direct Tv either. I have never seen a show on the TLC channel, and don not plan on it.
************************************************************
Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
bitchette, they can live I guess. I'm feeling charitable today.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
They pauses are not "reflection" pauses. Instead they are..."shit...what is my next line?"
Right, cuz the kids are worried about having mansions, fancy cars, name brand clothes, tanning, fanatic hairstyles, yapping on every magazine about their lives or going around the country on speaking engagements.
ITS ALL FOR THE KIDS. Yea right.
Funny, I dont think it's "best" for the kids to ignore each other with awkward silences. That's more scarring than anything else.
These two parents are scum.
sad sad sad. hope that thing on her head has had all of its shots. speaking of shots - nurse jackie is scaring me.
Well, I guess in time the truth will come out...but I don't give a fuck about these selfish assholes...
================================================
the end...
Submitted by devilgirl on Tue, 05/26/2009 - 4:53pm.
Like with AI, I feel so out of the loop with Jon and Kate.
*************
LOL me too. i still don't even know what channel TLC is on my comcast.
------------------------
http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/