UsWeekly Owns Jon & Kate (Or Vice Versa)
UsWeekly should go ahead and change their name to Beaver Hair Weekly, because this is the millionth time in a row that Drunky & Cunty Plus How Many Kids Do We Have Again? are on the cover. TLC should also send UsWeekly a baby or a bride as a thank you, because if it wasn't for them 10 million hos wouldn't have watched the season premiere.
This week's issue, we learn that Kate hoards money, HATES the color burgundy and regularly counsels Satan on how to be more evil. Let's get the details, shall we?
One source tells Us that when Jon used to work at Style Craft Crop, she gave him $5 a day to spend. If Jon asked for more money, Kate would flip her ass lips.
Maybe she kept him on an allowance, so he wouldn't spend all their cash on whores and the sweet sauce? Too bad Jon didn't know me in elementary school. My mom pulled the same shit on me, but I found a way to get absolutely wasted on $3 or less! Take that, Rachael Ray!
The source (aka Aunt Jodi) also says that Jon and Kate lied when they said he quit his job, because they wouldn't provide health insurance for their army of children. Apparently, Jon got pink-slipped after he got caught " misusing company resources." His employers also weren't happy when Typhoolio Cunt would storm in. One time, Jon's father forgot to bring Kate lunch and she took it out on everyone at the office, "She got up out of bed rest to come in and yell at anyone who would listen!"
As for the color burgundy, it is one of Kate's arch rivals. One of Jon's father's friends gave the family a van and Kate never uttered the words "thank you." Instead she traded it in, because the color burgundy reminds her of a real heart. Since she doesn't have one, the color has always made her ANGRYYYYY!!!!
Well, there's your daily dose of Vitamin Cunt! Doesn't it make you want to yell at a bitch for breathing too loud? The feeling is exhilarating, isn't it?
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"Drunky & Cunty Plus How Many Kids Do We Have Again?"
You are the funniest human alive. Have I told you how much I enjoy this fucking blog??
Submitted by Bda on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:43pm.
Unbelievable people believe this. A pregnant woman with sextuplets getting up off of bed rest to storm to her husbands job over lunch.
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Clearly you've never known a pregnant woman. The hormones make you capable of some seriously crazy shit. And Kate is fucking nuts anyway, sooooo....yeah, I believe it.
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 4:50pm.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:26pm.-------------------------
If you value that waterslide, you won't even think about touching Clive.
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You're trying way too hard.
Rumor has it Kate is going to have a signature perfume.
Too bad it won't be called Eau'De Cunt.
DeeDee- You silly goose.
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Imma have cake and Imma eat it, too... and I don' even like cake!
sick.of.it.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 3:26pm.
Oh and RPatz's love life ain't hot until I'm in it! hahahahaahaha *crickets*
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DeeDeeMcGee, I just don't see you with RPatz...he's pale, he's as hairless as a baby's bum; He probably weeps when he comes and calls out his Mama's name..(Plus, isn't he a vampire?) How about Javier? (I'm willing to share) or Clive (I think you can pry him away from C Word)or even Huge?
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With a bit of patience and repetition, you can teach your kitty to sit, lie down and come on command.
Oh and RPatz's love life ain't hot until I'm in it! hahahahaahaha *crickets*
Jon is a nutless wonder. Grow a pair, man!
I saw a woman with that Haircut and I laughed in her face.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:26pm.
Off topic:(seeing as there's no Open Post yet): How would you explain 'panty pudding' to someone? I just used it at work, unwisely as it turns out,
*
I just want to know what you were talking about at work that made you use that term! Budget meeting? Someone bringing in a free lunch?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
The Gosselin Hair Video is here! (A My2cents/Sandbitch/TITS production)
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x9dzac_jon-kate...
Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05
I HATE THE COLOR BURGUNDY BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF USELESS CUNTS WHO HATE THE COLOR BURGUNDY AND WHORE OUT THEIR CHILDREN.
y sparkle586 on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:25pm.
TRUE! He would look...slower I think. Ooops! Maybe kjeep those plugs.
And stoney- years ago my old roomie would order pizza so much from the same place (we hated cooking) that the young delivery guy started to know us. And he sort of had a thing for her i think (would stammer and act nervous) so she once asked him if he could make a beer run - grab a 6 pack - on his next delivery and we'd pay him. He remembered and we gave him a good tip and it was awesome. We were pissed when he eventually quit, LOL
Unbelievable people believe this. A pregnant woman with sextuplets getting up off of bed rest to storm to her husbands job over lunch. Oh please and Jon taunts over her hair too.
Submitted by chefcammi on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:37pm.
Tomorrow @ 1230!
!!!WOW!!! That's fabulous!!! I'll keep the udders crossed for good luck! xoxoxox
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Tomorrow @ 1230!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/22/09 @ 38w4d
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
Submitted by chefcammi on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 2:29pm.
I think ALL reality shows suck! This one, especially so. Those poor kids... I wonder if any of the people they film could have a better chance at "normalcy" if cameras weren't in their faces every day.
Off topic: when you gonna pop that boy, Chef?
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
TLC could always rename the show 'Jon & Kate: Seperate'
Show the world (barf) how to raise 8 kids as parents and not a couple. Let Jon leave, let's see the "Struggle", the "Guilt", the "Pain" of not being with your kids...
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/22/09 @ 38w4d
If youre reading this, I havent given birth yet....dammit all!!
Submitted by putas on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:16pm.
I have some advice for this ugly man- SHAVE YO HEAD!
Cue ball that shit. Plugs are unsexy. Weak. Ugly.
Shaved head is muuuch better.
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I agree with you on GP but are we sure this would hold true in his case? Dude's head kinda looks like a triangle.
Aunt Jodi was part of the show also, i didn't
see or hear her object to anything when she
was being wined and dined and flown around the
country when she was acting as a babysitter
when they went on trips with all the kids.
SC/MO
Stopped Caring / Moving On
MK, enough already with the Beaver analogies...it's an insult to Beavers everywhere.
Jon and Kate Plus Hate
Hey Stoney
Excuse me, but please fucking MOVE & I thank you! Now that's being polite, right? ha
Ground Zero was Berks County, Pa. Former blogger Dana Hoffman was the first one to call them out, way before their TLC show.
http://readingeagle.com/blog.aspx?bid=8&id=983&t=Count-your-blessings-be...
Now fellow Berks Countian Al Walentis picks up where she left off ...
http://www.greaterreadingonline.com/pimp-my-sextuplets/
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 1:41pm.
My parents used to make me thank the parents for inviting my at every birthday party growing up. Since when are the kids being "sweet" if they say thank you? They're supposed to be polite and trained to do that shit. Fucking kids these days.
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I make my kids say thank you to the kid and their parent for inviting him/her to their party too.
Kate's own kid said thanks to Kate for throwing her the party, but she ignored her daughter until the other parent standing their had to point out to Kate that
1) your kid is talking to you &
2) that was a sweet thing your kid said to you
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 1:50pm.
Joe, you are such a weenie! Lol let me at them!
******
I know!! I totally am a weenie *assuming weenie position* *tofu weenie*
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With a bit of patience and repetition, you can teach your kitty to sit, lie down and come on command.
yepyepyep, I watched that video. They looked so cute and happy. Really sad to see how they are now.
MK had me at drunk and cunty. lol.
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Fucka doodle-do.
Joe, you are such a weenie! Lol let me at them!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I totally say MOVE when I'm trying to exit the elevator and retards are trying to enter without waiting for me to get out. Fucking MOVE you fucking dipshits!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
y Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 1:41pm.
My parents used to make me thank the parents for inviting my at every birthday party growing up. Since when are the kids being "sweet" if they say thank you? They're supposed to be polite and trained to do that shit. Fucking kids these days.
No one says thank you, excuse or anything like that anymore
I didnt say excuse me the other day because when I got out of the train a bunch of idiots surrounded the door so I said "MOVE!" instead because obviously they have no manners someone got mad at me, but Im tired of saying excuse me when people dont know what it means, obviosly if they had manners they would had moved away
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:37pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:26pm.
If they are that fucking retarded that they are actual WOMEN and can't comprehend panty pudding, look them straight in the face and say "DISCHARGE YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!"
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I work with an office full of Susan Boyles. Could you come here and do it for me? (hahahaha: look them straight in the face? You really need to come and do it for me, Stoney)
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With a bit of patience and repetition, you can teach your kitty to sit, lie down and come on command.
My parents used to make me thank the parents for inviting my at every birthday party growing up. Since when are the kids being "sweet" if they say thank you? They're supposed to be polite and trained to do that shit. Fucking kids these days.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
All kid pimps are scum, whether it be these two, Disney execs, pageant moms, Octopussy or White Oprah. They're all absolute selfish, amoral, kid pimpin' trash!!!!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
I've said it before and I'll say it again.... RUN JON RUN!
Did anyone else notice at the end of the party, one of the little girls tell Kate "thanks for the party" and she totally ignores her until another parent points out how sweet that was of the little girl to say that? Kate then RUNS with that and says in her sit down...ahhh you don't need to thank me and a bunch of other bullshit...totally trying to be the martryr (sp)
"Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:49pm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU-R0R9PZR8
she blacked out her FATHER in her wedding video!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hahaha. I watched that the other day and her yelling at Jon about the camera made me laugh. I'm like, she's exactly the same as she is now and YOU STILL MARRIED HER?!
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Kiss and tell as you take me on a Disco Fantasy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6f-qyuEV90
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoKm9nvP-D0
There really needs to be an update of child labor laws. Child actors are only allowed to work a certain number of hours per day. Somehow the parents on reality TV shows circumvent these laws and exploit their children 24/7. Without the exploitation of these kids there would be no Jon and Kate Circus Show.
I would never watch even one episode. TLC should be ashamed of themselves for what they're promoting. I hope Congress steps in and passes legislation banning the practice of filming children in their homes for financial gain. This is ridiculous. Gee, what would the Gosselins do without their $100,000/per episode?? They might have to get real jobs to support these kids, instead of cashing in on them.
I never watched this show, but after all the hoopla, I watched the season premiere. I didn't really find her to be the bitch everyone says she is, I guess since I didn't ever watch it before. She seemed to be genuinely hurt. While I felt bad for the both of them, they asked for it by playing their lives out in the public forum.
As for Jon, he has totally checked out of this marriage. He is done, you can tell by his body language. That being said, he looked so lost at the picnic.
Sad for the kids, they will have this all recorded for posterity.
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
SNOOGLE for HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR!!!
xo
Submitted by I am just pretend on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 1:07pm.
Yeah CM, but when there is one person in the entire place & nobody in the drive thru, thats where my panties get in all sorts of fucking wads. And the bitch behind the counter is just standing there fucking with her nails and looking at me like I'm ruining her fucking day!
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. IM MY OPINION IF YOU ARE WORKING FOR THE BUSINESS AND NOT SIGNING YOUR OWN PAYCHECK YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU ARE HIRED TO DO AND WITH 100% ENTHUSIASM AND INTEGRITY. YOU SHOULD DO THAT ANYWAY EVEN IF YOURE WORKING FOR YOURSELF. IM THE NICEST PERSON IN THE FUCKING WORLD IF YOU MAKE AN HONEST MISTAKE. BUT ZERO PATIENCE FOR A JACKASS MORON BEHIND A REGISTER WHO CANT EVEN BE BOTHERED TO STRAIGHTEN UP THEIR FUCKING SHOULDERS AND PUT A SMILE ON THEIR FACE WHEN THEIR EMPLOYERS CUSTOMERS (THE EMPLOYER WHO WAS NICE ENOUGH BY THE WAY TO HIRE YOU AND ENTRUST YOU WITH THE JOB) WALK THROUGH THE FUCKING DOOR.
Submitted by Romai on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 1:22pm.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:37pm. I'm sticking with PSL's positive outlook - no Speidi. It's a blessing.
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YET! Don't jinx us!
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I know, right? I didn't see that Secret movie, but I think I'm doing it wrong. Gak!
I'm picturing a post about Coco's boobies and butt implants...
Another of Cunty's arch rivals is a good hair stylist. Bitch needs to stop cutting her possum's nest with a flobee in the dark.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:37pm. I'm sticking with PSL's positive outlook - no Speidi. It's a blessing.
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YET! Don't jinx us!
Isn't daddy-o blacked out by the producers, so they wouldn't have to pay him?
Plus, the mic in the middle of their vows, really says it all.
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I’m just saying it’s a perception that can be perceived from it.
I hate to admit this, but since the scandal broke and since watching the episode on Monday, I think I'm hooked! I feel so ashamed...
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Waiting for Britney's next meltdown
Can we please put all these assholes (Beaverheaded Cunt, her BitchBoy Husband and their 8 little science experiments) in a space shuttle and shoot them off into space?
Every fucking place I look they are there being stupid. If I never ever see or hear a anything else about them it won't be too soon.
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Is this real life? Why is this happening to me? Is this gonna be forever?
the advertisement for the dating site matches kate...coincidence?
Oh wait guys, I do have french fries! I have 2!! Sorry for the confusion!