UsWeekly Owns Jon & Kate (Or Vice Versa)
UsWeekly should go ahead and change their name to Beaver Hair Weekly, because this is the millionth time in a row that Drunky & Cunty Plus How Many Kids Do We Have Again? are on the cover. TLC should also send UsWeekly a baby or a bride as a thank you, because if it wasn't for them 10 million hos wouldn't have watched the season premiere.
This week's issue, we learn that Kate hoards money, HATES the color burgundy and regularly counsels Satan on how to be more evil. Let's get the details, shall we?
One source tells Us that when Jon used to work at Style Craft Crop, she gave him $5 a day to spend. If Jon asked for more money, Kate would flip her ass lips.
Maybe she kept him on an allowance, so he wouldn't spend all their cash on whores and the sweet sauce? Too bad Jon didn't know me in elementary school. My mom pulled the same shit on me, but I found a way to get absolutely wasted on $3 or less! Take that, Rachael Ray!
The source (aka Aunt Jodi) also says that Jon and Kate lied when they said he quit his job, because they wouldn't provide health insurance for their army of children. Apparently, Jon got pink-slipped after he got caught " misusing company resources." His employers also weren't happy when Typhoolio Cunt would storm in. One time, Jon's father forgot to bring Kate lunch and she took it out on everyone at the office, "She got up out of bed rest to come in and yell at anyone who would listen!"
As for the color burgundy, it is one of Kate's arch rivals. One of Jon's father's friends gave the family a van and Kate never uttered the words "thank you." Instead she traded it in, because the color burgundy reminds her of a real heart. Since she doesn't have one, the color has always made her ANGRYYYYY!!!!
Well, there's your daily dose of Vitamin Cunt! Doesn't it make you want to yell at a bitch for breathing too loud? The feeling is exhilarating, isn't it?
Image VIA CoverAwards
ShareThis
Last week R. Patterson couldn't find love cause he was stinky. Now he has a hot love life?
Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:01pm.
but charley! i don't drink popov! only abosolute and skyy. so i'll take $6 and no bread.
KD- i'm with you. i do not like to spend more than $5 on lunch. gets 'spensive.
-------------------------
'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I know, Mrs. G, it makes me sad, another illusion shattered!
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
@charlesmanson...i promise. is some actress i thought she looked like
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Team criminalize litters!
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 12:01pm.
Some show had video of her when she was 22 and she was hot. Reminded me of the crippled girl in Freddie Got Fingered
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004846/
I WANT TO CLICK ON YOUR LINK BUT FIRST PROMISE ME IT AINT NOTHING SCARY LIKE THAT EXORIST SHIT OR SHINNING BATHTUB BULLSHIT.
Im tired of hearing about these people!!! I would like to go back to my ignorance and watch this show and think they are one cute family please!
____________________________________________
WOA four sacagaweas? Whered you get THAT??!!
...the post office
Just this weekend my bf was saying something about my cousin's husband breathing really loud. I don't usually pay attention to those things unless it is really distracting. I just hate loud talkers. The ones that can't control their voice level even in small rooms, ie, the guy in the office across from me. SHUT UR PIEHOLE.
God I am so over these two. Seriously MK please go on a J&K + 8 posting BAN. So obviously a publicity stunt. I have never and will never watch this stupid ass show. Why a woman having a litter of children is entertainment is beyond me...it should be criminalized not rewarded. Every picture I have ever seen of this clusterfuck, the two older kids look pissed off. I see them going postal as adults.
The only thing I care about is Rob's hot love life. Where do I get in line?? *droooooool*
**************************************************************
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
Kate hates burgundy because it reminds her of a real heart?
I think Love Anderson is on to something... she needs a burgundy mob to meet her at her next "speaking engagement."
Vitamin Cunt! MK is the new Shakespeare.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 11:59am.
And where were YOU yesterday when I was talking out of my ass?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
wow, where' in satan's asshole did this bitch come from????
******************
...so i drank one/it became four/and when i fell on the floor/i drank more..
-morrissey
Kate wears way too much pink. But that is just my opinion.
And that $5 a day was back when they were just starting out on the show and the cash cow hadn't ripened yet, so I can understand it. And it was probably just lunch money. Personally, I don't like spending more than $5 on lunch anyway.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 11:56am.
I saw most of that on the internet clips. I don't even watch the show. I think the producers and US weekly are working together.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It's a conspiracy. They're going to eat our braaaainnnss.
**********************************************
You say potato, I say vodka!
well, it's true about his hair, she made him get plugs, which I'm sure the show paid for....
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
WAIT is Jon picking his belly button in that pic? HAHAHA! Looking for quarters maybe?
__________________________________________________
BTW, I know someone who worked for them as a maid. She said Brad leaves skidmarks the size of a NASCAR track on his shortz - SUGA ROO
5 DOLLARS A DAY CAN BUY A SMALL LOAF OF BREAD AND A HALF PINT OF POPOV. THAT DOESNT SEEM LIKE TOO BAD OF A FUCKING SHAKE UNLESS YOU NEED THE WHOLE BOTTLE.
Some show had video of her when she was 22 and she was hot. Reminded me of the crippled girl in Freddie Got Fingered
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004846/
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"You know, your son looks like a fag to me. You better get re-married soon, or he's gonna have a cock in his mouth faster than you can say Jack Robinson." -Paul Newman in Slapshot
Rachel Ray I hate with passion I HATE HATE HATE HEr
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
well fuck freebird, Heidi, Spencer and LC were on Us Weekly covers for MONTHS! And WHY?
Fucking Whitney Port threw out the first ball at a Dodger game last week........WHY?
*********************************************
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 05/24/2009
Well, if she is perfectly still she can claim she is not sexually active.
MK is this Douchebag day or what?
***********************
Kiefer 1 Christmas Tree 0
TEAM KIEFER!
Wow, that's a long way from the Oprah love-fest that went on a couple of years ago. Like I told a friend, Jon & Kate had issues long before the babies and TV cameras showed up.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 11:56am.
the only thing I am grateful about these 2 existing is it keeps the people from "The Hills" off the cover.
***
I appreciate that reality check, PSL. So true. So true.
And MK was in top form in this post!
Shit, Jon is lucky...I get beaten with a rusty chain if Bey thinks I'M breathing too hard..
____________________________________
I don't let all these jaded hags take my glitters away.....
OctoMom has got to be going crazy here. You know, the other one who was famous 15 minutes ago.
Kate's hair is extra full of possumy goodness in that picture.
*dons complete burgundy outfit*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
An allowance?!
Wow.
Burgundy made her mad? Wow I think we know too much. And it is all worthless info I'm putting into my noggin.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
FROM MSNBC:
Before the season premiere of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” Kate Gosselin’s sister-in-law Julie urged viewers not to watch the episode, which aired May 25. The reason? The Gosselin’s “reality” show is staged.
“When the show first started, Kate made a wish list of things that she wanted, and that became the theme of each episode — the carpet, twins’ room, bunk beds, cow, hair plugs, teeth whitening, trips, etc. EVERYTHING that you see them do or buy is completely paid for out of the budget for the show or traded for free advertising … The episodes are also staged. Here’s how it works ... there is a staff of people reading these blogs and they base the shows around what people are talking about.”
First, there are hours upon hours of footage that need to be culled down into bite-size pieces that have a plot fit to air on television. When you’re working with that much material, the editing process is by nature a manipulative one. A story has to be told, parts will be left out, it is what it is. Move on.
Second, for a mostly unscripted program to be interesting, there needs to be some sort of action. A person who worked on the set of “Newlyweds,” which turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, confirms that sometimes events would be cooked up for the sole purpose of giving the couple something to do worth taping.
“Not everyone does something interesting every single week. You’d sit there with the calendar and figure out what to do,” said the source. “One week there might be an anniversary — easy. The next, there might be nothing, so we dream up a scenario where Nick tries to move furniture in without movers. Suddenly you have television.”
Julie also goes on to say in the blog post that Jon and Kate’s “children are being prompted to say or do certain things.” Yes, this happens, too, but there’s not always cause to be cynical about it. In some instances, a character will say something that’s caught by producers, but doesn’t get picked up on tape, and they’re asked to repeat it so that it’s usable. Point being: not everything that doesn’t seem totally organic stems from something sinister or misleading.
There are plenty of painfully obvious reasons for an individual to not want to watch “Jon & Kate,” as is true with just about any show. But the idea that it’s staged should not be one of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
It's criminal how much I love this shitstorm.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I saw most of that on the internet clips. I don't even watch the show. I think the producers and US weekly are working together.
the only thing I am grateful about these 2 existing is it keeps the people from "The Hills" off the cover.
*********************************************
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 05/24/2009
Well, if she is perfectly still she can claim she is not sexually active.