Justin Gaston Is A Natural Born Comedian
You know Justin Gaston? He's the panty model who gets paid to let Miley Cyrus nibble on his hair and braid his bushy brows with her tongue. Yeah, that one. Well, he had some kind of video interview with Details Magazine and this shit is beyond! This is what I imagine Christopher Guest's dreams look like. I wasn't even making out with my bong while watching this and I walked away feel like my tongue was going to fall out.
But you know Miley thinks he's like the smartest man since Orville Redenbacher. Which he totally is! I mean, here's a few quotes from the video that will make your brain twitch:
On who will play him in a movie:
"If Ashton Kutcher played me. Like, he would be a funnier me. He's a pretty funny guy. But I'm going to say Johnny Depp, just cause I like Johnny Depp and we're just going to get crazy, like. Like Johnny Depp's going to play an older me. Like when I'm older. Cause he's a really cool actor and then I'll seem really cool."
On who he would like to trade lives with:
"I'd like to be one of those lap dogs that just get petted all day. Cause they just have the best life. They wake up, they get fed and they get attention all the time. I like attention. I don't like to be by myself, so I want to be one of those little dogs. Is that weird?"
Um. Isn't he already like one of those little dogs? I bet Miley makes him crawl on all fours around the house with a pink ribbon in his hair. I would! I would also lay in his lap and stroke his brows while he tells me what's hurting his purdy little brain. He'd tell me all about the white shirt he's wearing that was woven by God himself and carried down by the angels.
And it gets better! Justin has Psalm 7:8 tattooed right above his butt cheek. It says: "Judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness." Justin explained it, "I don't want to be judged—so I put it on my body in an attempt to become that bold."
Dude is either as dumb as a butt plug or he is a comic genius! Actually, I'm pretty sure he's both! I think I'm in love....
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This tool wants Johnny Depp to play him in a movie???
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What a delusional turd.
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he looks older than he is but when he opens his mouth it's like hearing a 10 yo.
Wow, this dude IS as dumb as a buttplug. At least a buttplug is just a buttplug, and shouldn't have more be expected of it.
And this is the type of person a gajillionaire prosti'tard is doing underage sexy times with. The bible thumping holier-than-thou dynamic duo are stupider-than-thou, fo' sho!
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Um I'm not like smart either like so I wonder like does the bible approve of tattoos, like?
He sure is purty!!!
The only reason he has ANY paparazzi around him is because he's with an underage tween star.
So if he's that "scared" of them, he could break up with her and go back to obscurity.
Oh I'm sure Johnny Depp would jump at the chance to play him in a movie too! WTF??
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
good luck chefcammi!
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
this where the action is tonight??
ok, so people I'm out until at least Monday.. maybe I can use the laptop in the hospital..?? If so, I'll try to log on to give you guys the baby's stats!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
4D pic of my son taken 5/22/09 @ 38w4d
Hoping that on 5/28 I will get to meet my lil' guy!
Still, I'd keep the Prime Rib of Propecia away from him just to stay on the safe side.
"I'm a merman, *cough,cough* MERMAN!!!!
*miou*
Hah, silly kitty, I was just thinking of Zoolander too after watching this. "Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."
Woah. There is stupid, really stupid, and then there is Justin Gaston.
He's like Derek Zoolander before "Blue Steel". He should go help kids learn to read good.
*miou*
Every time I see his name, I think of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast too. There are some similarities . . .
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 8:35pm.
Gaa, religion fucks everybody up.
Everytime I see the name Gaston I think of Beauty and the Beast.
Sorry, the only thing that's gonna help this child is a stiff one in both openings...Christ...I gotta pay up my disability insurance....THIS is gonna be wiping my ass with "wet one's" when I am in the old drag queen home??? I gotta stock up on Vicodan so I can exit at home with my depends intact......
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
I think he is dumb and full of it.
I tried to watch the video; I really did, but when he said he thought God wove the shirt he wore and that it was sent to him by angels I had to stop. I seriously think my brain is melting...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Ugh, he makes my head hurt
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
He almost has crazy eyes, but I think they are just rattling around in his empty air head.
Totally vapid or smoking crack. He almost makes Chris Brown an intelligent human being.
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"I’m poor, I’m black, I may even be ugly, but Lord I’m here" - Celie
Scary. Can you say ,"I can't believe it's not butter"?
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Shhhhh! I'm not really here.
Reminds me of a skit on SNL where Ellen Cleghorne (remember her?) played some homegirl and say "Stoopit guys can DOOOO it, though...."
That's some Forrest Gump shit right thar'. How is this dude still alive?
It would still be worth fucking him just because he has a verse from the bible tattoed on his ass . . . of all places. But you'd need someone there to keep his mouth too full of cock to actually speak.
Hey those of us 40+ & over RELAX!!
these are the people who are gonna take care of us when we get old !
"You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls
I couldn't watch more than 30 seconds. I can't say I'm impressed by how dumb he is. I didn't expect any different from that kid.
But that video explains why his dating Miley
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Is this real life?
Gaa, religion fucks everybody up.
Everytime I see the name Gaston I think of Beauty and the Beast.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
WOW. I am almost speechless. Now I know why he is dating a 16 year old. Miley is a fucking Rhodes Scholar next to this guy. Dumb as a stump.
Submitted by 2Di4 on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:15pm.
So dumb he couldn't open a car door? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
I have to start writing these dlisted quips down!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
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Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05
So this is what they mean by a "room-temperature IQ."
In a very air-conditioned room.
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"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:26pm.
No Onanism allowed.
Isn't that the Biblical term for spilling seed?
Super Glue his mouf shut and super glue his fly open...Then maybay that purty boy will understand his calling in life....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Beautiful but stupid. Really really stupid.
Jeez, stereotypes exist because they're true I guess.
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The baddest ho in town.
Ashton Kutcher playing him? Looks like an audition tape to play Ashton. FAIL. No global warming crap and less than 10 percent of the Kutcher arrogance.
Umm, yeah. Whatever, Justin - just STFU and get naked, okay?
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"I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking." --Brian Kinney
Only Ashton Doucher knows wtf that pretty boy just babbled.
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:16pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:11pm.
Forsooth. Much begatting.
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No Onanism allowed.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:11pm.
Forsooth. Much begatting.
Oh, la. Who doesn't love a pretty dumb rock now and again? Back in the day, I dated a male model who couldn't open a car door on his own. But he sure had a purty mouth, and that's all that matters.
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"I masturbate ALOT." - Ernest Borgnine
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:04pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:01pm.
I'd like to sit next to Miss CA. We won't be talking politics.
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I presume that you would be imparting other Biblical "knowledge". ;)
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Like, I'm glad he, like, didn't make himself sound like, like, like an idiot, like, 'cause, you know, then he wouldn't be cool, and, like, he, like, wants to be cool 'n stuff, like, who doesn't, right?
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 7:01pm.
I'd like to sit next to Miss CA. We won't be talking politics.
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 6:58pm.
A lot of you may not realize this, but Justin only models grundies to support himself while completing his Masters in Biblical hermeneutics at Claremont.
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He sits next to Miss California 2009, Carrie Prejean.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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He needs to just keep his mouth closed at all times. He is dumb as a box of rocks. No wonder he's dating someone as immature and young as Miley. What girl in their 20s would want to date someone this immature and idiotic?
Um, like, WTF would this movie be about. Lets, like, call it um, like "pretty stupid me"
There are videos of him with Miley on youtube... and this guy is SO dumb - it is NOT even funny. Also, I guess he was on that reality show "Nashville Star", which Billy Ray Virus judged or hosted.. anyway he sounds TERRIBLE in those videos - his voice is awful, but he doesn't sound that bad here.
He's a pervert though - he was dating Miley when she was like 15 - she just turned 16.. and he's 20. That's so gross.
A lot of you may not realize this, but Justin only models grundies to support himself while completing his Masters in Biblical hermeneutics at Claremont.
Submitted by snarkolepsy on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 6:32pm.
She loves him for his mind.
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Miley frequently takes it out of his skull and plays jacks with it.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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