And It Starts!
The jolly cat lady with a heart made of rainbows and hummingbird juice is beginning to turn.... Or at least that's what The Sun says anyway. Susan Boyle, the voice of this generation (don't tell Kanye), flipped her brows twice in one day. TWICE! Apparently, the happy teddy bear knows the fuck word well and isn't afraid to launch it at people. And this is the time where I really start loving Susan.
Yesterday at a hotel in North London, a police officer had to step in when Susan started going off at two strangers. Susan was not serenading them with a version of "I Dream a Dream." No, she was telling them to fuck off! Susan apparently screamed, "How fucking dare you! You can't fucking talk to me like that." When the cop asked if there was a problem, Susan responded, "Of course there's a fucking problem." According to Susan, the haters were poking fun at her in the hotel lobby, so she dropped the "Oh gee" smile and destroyed them. Bitch got so mad that she probably popped her cherry again!
The second flip out courtesy of Susan came while she was watching Britain's Got Talent in the lobby of a hotel. Susan's biggest competition for the top prize is a 12-year-old boy named Shaheen. On Tuesday's show, judge Piers Morgan basically got on the ground and worshiped Shaheen. Piers told Shaheen it was the greatest singing performance they had seen so far. And that's when Susan screamed "fuck off" and stormed off!
A witness added, "She got up, did one of those strange wiggling dances that she does, and then stuck two fingers up at the TV. Then she marched off. We didn't see her again."
One source is saying that the pressure is way too much for Susan and it's starting to get to her.
YES!!!! This is the Susan Boyle I was waiting to see! I love it when cute harmless old ladies get all cunty and shit! They all have it in them.
If Susan doesn't win BGT, she's going to go nuts! HOOD RAT STUFF! Susan is going to shave her head, flash her apple fritter, run over the paparazzi, elope in Vegas, dangle Shaheen over a balcony, get three DUIs, go to rehab and get knocked up by KFed. Susan is going to do all of this in one night. Hold your breath, brace yourself and put Daddy Spears on-call, because the second coming of Brit Brit is almost here. FINALLY!
• 
I knew she was bitch. She's obviously in cahoots with Satan.
***********************************************************************
"Today could be the day I'm mistaken for someone important."
HI，My friend recommended me a very good community
---- www-InterracialChats-c o m ----
People from all over the world gather together.
Go to have a try, you may find your love or friendship there.
Fuck Off = California Howdy
I'm sorry, but that last paragraph is a sheer work of literary genius MK. If I had nuts I would have just laughed them right off!
Susan, I love you...I came across an online community for individual seeking interracial love. It is blackwhitemeet.com All singles there are seeking interracial relationships. Interracial is not a problem there, but a great merit to cherish!
Susan's going to "get knocked up by KFed"
hahahahaha!!
...............................................
"Like snakes, tarantulas, and Spencer Pratt, they can't help how they look." Sugaroo
Shaheen Jafargholi is soo much better than Susan Boyleonmyass!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kLbWY2S2TQ
Come on MK give him a hot nickname like only you can! :D
GET EM SUSAN!
Fuck yeah. I guess we all assumed she was a pious old lady because um, because she uh - because she looked fugly? I dunno. I hope she punches a paparazi in the cock.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 12:38pm.
I hope SuBo belts out a cover of a Sex Pistols song on the next round of BGT.
"My Way"? (I know that's Sid Vicious, but it fits. With handgun ending.)
I hope SuBo belts out a cover of a Sex Pistols song on the next round of BGT. Also, British cops are fucking HOT.
What is she supposed to do? Smile and laugh while people insult her?
And I heard that the hotel bar story was completely fabricated and she wasnt even in a bar that night...
On another note, that guy in the pic above looks suspiciously similar to shaun from shaun of the dead if u ask me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, then you are truly....
*gives migraine giant wedgie and runs off laughing*
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I knew the bitch had it inner..
Reminds me of a poem
There was a man named Skinner
He took a girl out to dinner
By a quarter to nine
They were sipping some wine
By a quarter to ten it was inner
No not the dinner
Skinner
He was no beginner
He was inner before dinner
And so Susan Boyle has prolly had a cock or two (she was brown bagged first) Susan wash that filthy mouth out with some cock, you whore!
:D
Meh. If people were heckling her they deserved to be told to fuck off. Go Susan!
Stoney, Charlie, WTFOMGLOL, Stockbroker, et al.
Happy Thursday Horz!!!!
*buys six pack for EEG and WTF*
Thanks yall!
I live for that shit.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
CHARLES MANSON
I WROTE A FUCKING SONG. ITS CALLED ALL GODS BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS
OH THE BABY BUFFALO NEXT TO MOMMA
OH THE LITTLE SPRING CHICK THATS
AS YELLOW AS THE MAJIC MARKER
IT JUST GOT DONE SNIFFING
OH THE TURTLE SITTING ON A LOG
THAT THE ALLIGATOR IS SWIMMING AROUND
OH THE HUMMBIRD I THOUGHT WAS A FYING ROACH
IF ALL THESE THINGS COULD ALWAYS BE AROUND
MABY WE WOULDNT HAVE HALF THE PROBLEMS
IN THE WORLD.
Stoney you owe me a beer for taking three minutes to find this.
Submitted by luckycharms on Wed, 05/27/2009 - 11:42am.
CHARLES MANSON
I WROTE A FUCKING SONG. ITS CALLED ALL GODS BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS
OH THE BABY BUFFALO NEXT TO MOMMA
OH THE LITTLE SPRING CHICK THATS
AS YELLOW AS THE MAJIC MARKER
IT JUST GOT DONE SNIFFING
OH THE TURTLE SITTING ON A LOG
THAT THE ALLIGATOR IS SWIMMING AROUND
OH THE HUMMBIRD I THOUGHT WAS A FYING ROACH
IF ALL THESE THINGS COULD ALWAYS BE AROUND
MABY WE WOULDNT HAVE HALF THE PROBLEMS
IN THE WORLD.
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 10:08am.
CHARLIE!!!!
Would you please post your poem from yesterday about the humbird that was a fying roach and the little chickadee that sniffs markers? I can't find it. I'm saving your songs in a collection, lol.
In case you guys missed the new song that was posted in the caption this:
I CANT FUCKING REMEMBER IT. BUT I THINK IT WENT SOMETHING ABOUT A MOMMA AND BADY BUFFALO AND A BIRD IN THE FUCKING BUSH. I PICKED UP THIS HOMELESS BLACK GUY SITTING ON THE FUCKING CURB ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO AND ALL HE IS STILL SITTING ON MY FRONT PORCH WITH A COLT 45. HES SMART AS A WHIP THOUGH A PLAYS A REALLY MEAN GAME OF HEARTS.
Susan Boyle = overrated nut job who one day will go postal on her 57 cats.
CHARLIE!!!!
Would you please post your poem from yesterday about the humbird that was a fying roach and the little chickadee that sniffs markers? I can't find it. I'm saving your songs in a collection, lol.
In case you guys missed the new song that was posted in the caption this:
WELL I WROTE ANOTHER SONG BUT THE ASSHOLES HAVE MY GUITAR AND TAMBORINE.
OH I SEE THE HIBICUS OUT THE WINDOW
AND THEY ARE STARTING TO OPEN UP
OH I SEE A CRACKHEAD ROAMING AROUND AND I
THNK ITS TIME TO PLUCK HIM OFF
WINNIE TO POO IS IN THE CORNER AND CANT
FIGURE WHY THE HELL THATS IN MY BEDROOM
OH TELEPHONE, WHY DO YOU KEEP ON RINGING
ONCE UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY WHILE I PONDERED
WEAK AND WEARY
OF FUCKING WAIT.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
SuBo.... heh heh heh...
-Einah
I'm pretty sure Chuck got confused because the page was f'ed up. At first I thought his wife looked like Susan Boyle when she wears white pants...LOL
****************************
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Charlie,
Are you drinking in the morning again? Was your post supposed to be in the Shitters thread?
ETA...I always heard of it as The St. Marys Kiss.
Indeed, the Glasga welcome. Google/Youtube Rab C. Nesbit for a sample of Susan when she gets gangster.
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by luckycharms on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:27am.
=================================
that's beautiful LOL
I'd be like whatsa matter people. aincha never seen a little blood before ? that steak on your plate is bloodier than I am.
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:40am.
I believe it's the aforementioned head butt.
Nice! From the country that brought us Boswell? Learned it from sheeps, I bet.
Sheeps, I believe it's the aforementioned head butt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Submitted by justice on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:38am.
Bitches are indeed fortunate that she didn't give them the "Glasgow Handshake"!
I have to ask....?
She is Scottish! Scots take nonsense from nobody. Bitches are indeed fortunate that she didn't give them the "Glasgow Handshake"!
MK: "flash her apple fritter"... too late at night for that.
--thanks awfully--
Submitted by Laurel on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:27am.
Glad you enjoyed! Come to think of it, we should all have a morning dose of Python. Life would be much funnier!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL: "Never, ever fuck with the mentally challenged. They usually have a LOT of bottled up rage. Add to that a little empowerment, and BLAMMO!! I'm surprised she didn't blow up sooner."
Exactly what I was going to post. She's not eqipped.
WELL THAT CAN HAPPEN TO ANY CHICK. LANDWHALE AND I WERE AT APPLEBEE'S COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AS SHE HAD ON THESE WHITE PANTS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK AND WRAPPED BY JACKET AROUND HER WAIST. ISNT WASNT TOO MUCH OF A LOSE WE STILL HAD OUR RIBS AND MASHED POTATOES.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:18am.
A morning dose of Monty Python, perfect!
Thanks, Deb!
Jonas Brothers live the dream!
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
Kool & The Gang - Get Down On It
Maybe Susan can join this group.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CStfT8gCrjM
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
those are some fab shoes with that sharp pant suit she has on :P
Sounds like The Race Is On!
The Race Is On
Lyrics: Don Rollins
Music: Don Rollins
I feel tears welling up cold and deep inside
Like my heart's got a big break
And a stab of loneliness sharp and painful
That I may never shake
You might think I'm taking it hard
Since she broke me off with a call
But don't wager that I'll hide the sorrow
I may break right down and bawl
Chorus
Now the race is on and here comes pride up the back stretch
Heartaches are going to the inside
My tears are holding back, trying not to fall
My heart's out of the running
True love's scratched for another's sake
The race is on and it looks like heartaches
And the winner loses all
One day I ventured in love never once suspecting
What the final result would be
Now I live in fear of waking up each morning
And finding that you're gone from me
There's an aching pain in my heart for the name
Of the one that I hated to face
Someone else came out to win her
And I came out in second place
[chorus]
And here's a Stray Cats version, just for Susan...
Jonas Brothers live the dream!
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
Kool & The Gang - Get Down On It
Submitted by mommy2kai on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:12am.
'Fuck' in Scotland is much like 'Aloha' in Hawaii. It can mean, hello, goodbye, I love you, will you marry me?, almost anything. Nobody should be surprised that Susan Boyle is a pro at dropping the f-bomb!
****
So 'why do you like fucking hippos' really meant 'why do you like saying hello and/or goodbye to hippos.' Makes sense now.
'Fuck' in Scotland is much like 'Aloha' in Hawaii. It can mean, hello, goodbye, I love you, will you marry me?, almost anything. Nobody should be surprised that Susan Boyle is a pro at dropping the f-bomb!
*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*-----*
I'd consider following Jesus Christ if he were on Twitter.
I love giving people the two fingered salute. They almost never know I am telling them to fuck right off.
As far as Susan goes I think we have been hoodwinked from the beginning.
LMFAO Jazzy and freebird!
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:07am.
Looks like she might even give it the shoulder bump as she's walking away. 'Come at me bitch! You will dream a little nightmare - Boil style.'
hahahahaha
" flash her apple fritter " I am sooooooooooo turned on right now!
Why do people think that just because she has a nice voice and is ugly, she must be nice and then if she isnt, they're all surprised?
--------------------------------
"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:01am.
When the singing work dries up, she'll design leggings and DJ to support her stout habit.
I read that Susan was deprived oxygen as an infant and has learning disabilities; they called her Simple Susan in school. I feel bad for her. She obviously wasn't prepared for world scrutiny and the snarkiness that comes with celebritydom.
Submitted by freebird on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:04am.
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:00am.
Jazzy: I think I'd like to see Stella McCartney beat Heather with her own leg.
***
I think Stella is one of the few who could actually take her. You know she'd start naming each leg beat: This one's for my mum. This one's for my dad. This one's for dad's lawyer. This one...
===
...this one's for Yoko, this one's for G'N'R covering Live and Let Die, this one's for Ebony and Ivory, this one's...
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:02am.
freebird,
Look at her giving it the angry stare-down in the second photo!
***
So true!!! LOL! Looks like she might even give it the shoulder bump as she's walking away. 'Come at me bitch! You will dream a little nightmare - Boil style.'
CHARLES MANSON
WELL WHO CAN BLAME HER TELLING THEM TO FUCK OFF. THATS LIKE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME THING.
Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 05/28/2009 - 9:00am.
Jazzy: I think I'd like to see Stella McCartney beat Heather with her own leg.
***
I think Stella is one of the few who could actually take her. You know she'd start naming each leg beat: This one's for my mum. This one's for my dad. This one's for dad's lawyer. This one...