Is This The Mother Of Keanu Reeves' Children?
Well, the adorable baby friend in the corner does have Keanu Reeves' mange and overcast eyes, so it's possibly possible!
This is 46-year-old Karen Sala of Barrie, Ontario in Canada. Karen swears on her collection of crack pipes that Keanu Reeves is the father of her four adult children. Karen is asking the courts to force Keanu to submit a sample of his dick butter, so the truth can finally be revealed.
Krazy Karen claims she has known Keanu since she was 9 and he was 7. According to Krazy, she and Keanu busted nuts for years. Krazy and Keanu were even doing sessy times right before she got married to another dude. Krazy admits that she's a huge ho fo sho, so she's not exactly sure which one of her kids is related to Keanu. But she thinks one of her sons kind of looks like Keanu...... if you down a bottle of MD and do the Reeves squint (just imagine him trying to figure out what 17 minus 9 is) before looking at him.
Krazy also adds that when her kids were little, Keanu and his family would buy them gifts.
This is the best part of this whole thing. Krazy's kids are aged 20 to 25 and she's never been married to Keanu, but she still wants child AND spousal support! Krazy is asking for $150,000 per month, retroactive to June 1988, as well as $3 million per month in spousal support retroactive to November 2006. Why do I suspect that this whole plan was born during a 12-hour binge under a bridge somewhere after Krazy watched Johnny Mnemonic in the kitchen of her dealer's house.
Keanu's spokeswhore laughed until her pussy fell off and then released this statement: "Karen Sala's allegations are completely false and absurd. Mr. Reeves has no knowledge of who she is. Before you disparage my client and lend validity to this, there's clearly something wrong with someone who claims child support after all the kids have grown. I'm just pointing that out."
SPOILER ALERT: Maury says....Keanu is not the father, but an 8-ball is. Okay, I need to stop! Is that the face of a woman who would tell a lie? Okay, it is, but you can't hate on Krazy for trying! The price of cigarettes has gone up!
Source: The Star (Thanks Jennifer)
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@millyabella:
So, some pic pops up w/him and a gramma at some party when he was 17 and you equate that w/him banging old broads for $$?
Damn there are some crazy/delusional people out there. Keanu doesn't have sex ever.
Submitted by tecwzrd on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 10:28am.
160,800,000 is the grand total if you factor in May already being over with (close enough)
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And somebody else on the original story site calculated only $93million?!!! This is like billions she's claiming for! Hahahahahahah!
Poor Keanu. He's had enough lousy tragedies and deaths in his life . He doesn't deserve this shit. I hope she gets cited for contempt for wasting the court's time
Sorry, MK, I think you mixed up a pic of Sebastian Bach at home.
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The Nationals' outfield: a metaphor for everything wrong with Washington.
Considering the OLD HAGS Keanu, dates...I believe this creep show is a possibility.
Hangs in dirty alleys with bat sh*t crazy old women.
http://pacificcoastnewsonline.celebuzz.com/2009/01/keanu-reeves-and-his-...
http://www.buzzfoto.com/photos/0704-April-2007/070412_Keanu.jpg
He was screwing old women at 17 for money.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7383661@N08/3166244856/
And really, he is as dirty as they are.
http://www.buzzfoto.com/2006/12/keanu-reeves/keanu-reeves-lunch-at-le-co...
“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”
Keanu's spokeswhore laughed until her pussy fell off and then released this statement
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haha...I'm sure she did. I feel sorry for this bitch's kids
the mother is old...I came across an online community for individual seeking interracial love. It is blackwhitemeet.com All singles there are seeking interracial relationships. Interracial is not a problem there, but a great merit to cherish!
UGH, she is ridden hard and put away wet. All that meth has scrambled her brains. I am going to get really wasted and write a letter to Queefer Sutherland enclosing some fake pics of his love children. Maybe I can get some monthly support so I can sit on my ass, watch my stories and cruise blogs all day.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 3:45pm.
Just for factual purposes, Keanu and Jennifer Syme were never married.
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Allegedly never married. Rumor has it, they were, but secretly.
wow, were the same age, and thank God I am not a hot mess like that...even if Keanu was desperate, I truly doubt he would lower his standards that much to hit that...yech! Poor puppy has to post with that asshat.
I <3 you Michael K.
Wha'?!
@snuffy LMAO! Oshawa *south side* that is!!
Are u sure she wasn't confused and meant she was Keanu's *mother*??
Hollister, that was long before my internet/blog/blind item days. So I have no idea.
If I remember right, when Jennifer Syme lost the baby, Ted Casablancas dropped veiled hints that drug use may have been to blame for her miscarriage. Heroin maybe?
Just for factual purposes, Keanu and Jennifer Syme were never married.
Keanu doesn't strike me as the type of man who would father four children and not acknowledge/provide for them.
He had a wife, who passed away. Also a child who passed away. Was abandoned by his own father. And also has a sister whom has struggled with cancer for many years, that he is trying to save.
Why on earth would he forsake the possibility of having more family around him to love.
The entire story is stupid. The poor woman's just delusional and very hard on the eyes, Oy!
Oh Gawd!! BARRIE!! I hate that town, I had the worst relationship of my life there. Just the mention of it here sent me into convulsions. Ugh...
BTW Toronto Star is a piece of shit for even mentioning this asinine bullshit! Look this crazy bitch up, or better yet put her on house arrest for life in BARRIE. Fucking stupid ass 400!
Submitted by Talkdirty2me on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 1:21pm.
I just find it impossible that he would have slept with this woman. You can say he is a horrible actor but he has always been an attractive man. I would like to think he has standards.
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I don't believe this story either but I don't think he has a history of beautiful women. Not ugly but not beautiful... sometimes more masculine than him IMO. I'm thinking he might always be the prettier one in his relationships. He's totally hot anyway. Viva Keanu.
I just find it impossible that he would have slept with this woman. You can say he is a horrible actor but he has always been an attractive man. I would like to think he has standards. He lived in Toronto but to drive an hour north to bang this mess on a consistent basis and to continue to AFTER he gained Hollywood notoriety and moved is just not plausible. This woman needs to get off the meth..or the crack, it's making a comeback in Barrie.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
She looks like she is 64 not 46. He wouldn't touch that thing with a stick. Please.
Where did all the Oly go?
Submitted by Talkdirty2me on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 12:36pm.
I was born in Barrie and my parents still live there. It is enough of a small town that if Keanu Reeves was there on a regular basis the whole population would have known.
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Yeah - I do believe he was working in a restaurant up on Yonge and Eglington in Toronto at that time...and being an "actor", obviously - I can't remember what it's called just now but I remember what it looks like! :)
♥ ThreadKilla!
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He must have been wasted to tap that hag.
Hekki - It's devistating, something that can either make you stronger or tear you down.
I can not explain how horrible it is to go through labor and give birth to a dead child.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 11:21am.
Submitted by SeH on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 10:41am.
Re: Keanu Reeves' stillborn daughter
I was under the impression that this rarely happens any more, at least in industrialized nations with prenatal care. In ye olde days women gave birth in barns and shit where no one knew the gender or relative health of the fetus. Why couldn't doctors have caught whatever pathology existed before labor? Did the fetus just suddenly die?
Inquiring, stoned minds want to know.
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It still happens. And at an alarming number."
I know of TWO women (both friends of a friend) who had stillbirths. The only thing more devastating would be losing a child you already know and love.
Sometimes modern medicine can't do a thing about it.
Gotta love the loonies though.
I was born in Barrie and my parents still live there. It is enough of a small town that if Keanu Reeves was there on a regular basis the whole population would have known. Plus my Keanu senses would have been tingling, I had the Hugest crush on him when he was Johnny Utah.
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"If you're going through hell, keep going" ~ Winston Churchill
Oh, and FUCK YOU Krazy Karen!
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Ghandi body with the two cowhide canteens swinging from her ribcage. Ahhaha. Um... NO.
- madam s. on Tori Spelling's body
Well, if Keanu ever decides to procreate again, mah womb will be available. Even if it's 20 years from now and I'm barren. We can still try. Over and over again. ;D
BTW I was a huge fan of him back in the day and I was extremely jealous of Jennifer, not that I wanted her to die or anything. I got the impression that she was normal and a genuinely cool person. SO NOT like the famewhores trying to get with actors for the moolah. The whole ordeal was and is still sad. RIP Baby Ava & Jenny Syme.
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Ghandi body with the two cowhide canteens swinging from her ribcage. Ahhaha. Um... NO.
- by madam s. on Tori Spelling's body
I'm tellin' ya..Joan Van Ark
http://plasticsergeant.com/celebrity/joan-van-ark-face
Putas - here is the link to her story:
http://www.findadeath.com/
Look under the Directory for Jennifer Syme
I love the Pre-Matrix nose job Keanu. Now he's all pastey and gray.
Sheeps that's hilarious..yes acting as your own lawyer is a bad sign. It's a sign that someone is riding the crazy train full speed ahead.
GOd poor Keanu I had no idea. Wow. I would be in rehab 8 times over with that trail of misfortune. His baby then his girlfriend? I never saw pictures of them together. And she must have been doing drugs with MM (from what someone posted) she was found intoxicated with rolled up bills, etc. She probably was so destroyed from losing a child she went off the rails. That fucker MM was probably too out of it to notice/care not to let her drive.
This hag should be ashamed of herself leave the poor guy alone.
This was a blind item on CDAN maybe a year ago. A lot of people guessed Keanu. Something about a foreign-born actor having a baby mama who didn't know that he was rich and famous. Guess she knows now.
Submitted by SeH on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 10:41am.
Re: Keanu Reeves' stillborn daughter
I was under the impression that this rarely happens any more, at least in industrialized nations with prenatal care. In ye olde days women gave birth in barns and shit where no one knew the gender or relative health of the fetus. Why couldn't doctors have caught whatever pathology existed before labor? Did the fetus just suddenly die?
Inquiring, stoned minds want to know.
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It still happens. And at an alarming number.
*edited because I realized that I just got WAY too personal.
I don't think Keanu will ever have another child. I believe he's too traumatized from losing his daughter and girlfriend to go down that route again.
I don't think any details were ever given about his stillborn baby, rightfully so. I do remember when it happened because I was in JHS and my best friend at the time looooved Keanu Reeves and wished Jennifer Syme would die (in a jealous 7th grade way) and then SHE DID. We went to LA for a drama club trip and at LAX it was all over the newsstands that she had died in a car accident. It was like a year after the baby was stillborn.
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http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
COME AT ME, BITCH!
At first it looked like Joan Van Ark after she let out the pleats in her face lift and deflated her botox injections.
Whoa Keanu - hot piece ya got there!
Kneau should have children, many children. ;) (not with Krazy though :)
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Only 46? Dang... this bitch looks breaded and fried.
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
Submitted by SeH on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 10:41am.
It is very rare. I worked for an ob/gyn for 4 years in college and it only happened once. The one time it happened the baby had gotten wrapped up in the umbilical cord and suffocated. The woman was only 3 weeks away from delivery...so she had to give birth the same way she would have had it been alive. It was so very sad.
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And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
You mean to tell me that Keanu Reeves boinked that coyote prune?
Must have been one hell of a weekend bender.
Keanus gfriend Jennifer Symes death.
In tribute to Syme's memory, David Lynch dedicated the 2001 film Mulholland Drive to her in the closing credits of the film.[1]
In April 2002, Syme's mother, Maria St. John, sued Marilyn Manson for wrongful death for giving Syme "various quantities of an illegal controlled substance"[4] and for "instructing [Syme] to operate a motor vehicle in her incapacitated condition".[5][6]
Shortly after the lawsuit was filed, Manson issued a statement denying responsibility for Syme's death, stating that the lawsuit was "without merit".[6]
An investigation into the accident concluded that Syme, who was not wearing a seatbelt, was inebriated at the time of the accident. Reports also stated that police found two rolled up dollar bills that contained a white, powdery substance and two bottles of prescription drugs, a muscle relaxant and an anticonvulsant.[6][3]Syme's mother told police her daughter was seeking treatment for back pain and depression just a few days prior to her death.[6]
Re: Keanu Reeves' stillborn daughter
I was under the impression that this rarely happens any more, at least in industrialized nations with prenatal care. In ye olde days women gave birth in barns and shit where no one knew the gender or relative health of the fetus. Why couldn't doctors have caught whatever pathology existed before labor? Did the fetus just suddenly die?
Inquiring, stoned minds want to know.
I really find it hard to believe that someone had FOUR "opps"'s. This woman is a straight up loon.
LOL @ tec (yer just showing off)
Hmmm..seems that Kanu..Keanye..who is this story about? OH..OH! Seems that Keanu can pay it back in hmmm according to my (brain without a calculator) calculations...can be paid off in ..hmm..approximately 127 years..give or take ..
Submitted by mademoiselle on Fri, 05/29/2009 - 10:29am.
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*snicker*
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"Care for another schnitzelgruben?"
I didn't know Michael Douglas even wore a wig.
Well haters, we'll see after the DNA results. I believe he is the father to this womans kids. Just you wait.
Judging people crazy before the truth comes out is wrong. Keep on eating your cheetos and dont forget to feed ya cats. WHATEVER LOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSEEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Shes HOT jellyheads!!!
160,800,000 is the grand total if you factor in May already being over with (close enough)
Yes I was bored, it only took 1 minute anyways :P
150,000 x 12 = 1,800,000 x 21 (years) = 37,800,000
3,000,000 x 12 = 36,000,000 x 3 (years) = 108,000,000 + 15,000,000 (for the 5 months x 3 million)
15,000,000
37,800,000
108,000,000
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160,800,000