The God And Goddess Of Heaven And Earth Have Split Up!!!!!
Hmmmm...At least that's what The National Enquirer is saying, but it's not raining outside. If this was true, God, the angels and the saints above would not stop weeping ever. They would flood the planet with their tears and we'd be forced to live in underwater cities. Actually, that sounds kind of hot. But I digress.
The Enquirer is saying that it's totally and completely over between St. Angie Jo and BENJAMIN BUTTON'S. Some source said that Brad is spending his time in California while Angie finishes that movie about white grains in New York. When she finishes filming, she's going to take her child army to France. A source called it an "OFFICIAL" split. They went on to yap, "Brad and Angelina will make appearances together from time to time, and he'll meet up with the kids when he can. But make no mistake, this is a major split."
The source said that the straw that broke the Angie's back --- Wait, a piece of straw could totally break her back, right? Like literally. Okay, back to the source. They said that Brangie's last moment together at the Cannes Film Festival was completely staged. They acted all lovely for the cameras, but they were both "over it" on the inside. That's when Angie gave Brad his nuts back and send him on his way.
The National Enquirer has been right before, but if this shit was true, they would devote an entire issue to this. Shit, they would change their name to BRANGIE IS DEAD Enquirer.
In other news, a crazed woman wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses and a t-shirt with the words "You Are So Uncool" written on the front was seen buying every copy of The Enquirer and muttering to herself "Take that, Maddox. Take that, Maddox...."
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Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:52pm.
Some Crazy From Celebitchy:
"This is hilarious old hags rubbing their hands together
Waiting on Brad & Angelina to split like bitter old desperate hags. The magazines know about you desperate negative hags that’s why when they really need to make a lot of money they can count on the hags buying this kind of copy. Hags being played so funny."
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is that commenter being paid by the hag? I especially like the line about hags rubbing their hands together like hags.
reminds me of a sentence my jr. high English teacher put on the board as an example of how not to write: He was cast out of society like an outcast.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 3:07pm.
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Hee! I picture candlelight vigils, and sackcloth and ashes.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 3:07pm.
Or plotting to destroy the universe over this breakup.
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
Submitted by No Words on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 3:02pm.
kanderso...
I wonder if it might actually be true...the loons haven't really shown up to call us "jellis h8rz" and "jenhens."
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I bet you're right. They probably have some underground network set up with a newsletter and they're all sitting around in support groups right now.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
kanderso...
I wonder if it might actually be true...the loons haven't really shown up to call us "jellis h8rz" and "jenhens."
Because of the lack of loons commenting here, I'm trying to find some loon comments elsewhere. It feels empty and lonely without a dose or two of good ole' fashioned wackaloon. A BP and AJ thread ain't the same without those crazy bastards *tear*
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
KPS - Are they going to be following the "Battle Royale" movie rules? Exploding collars and they must kill each other until only one survives?
Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:52pm.
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Hahaha, those people are mental. HAG!! :)
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Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
DRAMAQ!!!!
hahahaha, you caught it before i did.
And I do in fact have cupcakes, PMS cupcakes, extra frosting, extra toppings and extra batter left in the bowl for me to enjoy...
So, um, where are the loons? Here loony loony loony...
I feelz like a good loon slap fight.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Hey, I was just sayin' it was really funny. Maybe stefystef is having an off day. I have those every now and then.. on mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays.. pretty much through Saturday. On Sunday I have to rest. I am afterall Southern.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:23pm.
Let's get our LA on.
You fat homemaker hores don't know the first thing about heven because you cant understand Angelina. Your all jellis because you want to be her, but you cant understand her because your not angels. She is. Shes blessed the world with her beautiful babys and her and Brad are wonderful parents, not like you jellis bitches. Don't even talk about her. You dont deserve to have her name come out of your mouthes.
I'll tell all you bitches what- ain't nobody but NOBODY got LA's # Like our LCT here.
You hot skank- I remember the first day I saw you on Dlisted you came out guns blastin' and it was GLORIOUS!!!!
I got to the point I wouldn't even respond to a single word LA would poop out her mouf and you just ROCKED it up in this place when you were spoofing her rants!!!
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Some Crazy From Celebitchy:
"This is hilarious old hags rubbing their hands together
Waiting on Brad & Angelina to split like bitter old desperate hags. The magazines know about you desperate negative hags that’s why when they really need to make a lot of money they can count on the hags buying this kind of copy. Hags being played so funny."
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
Bradi: You're so much nicer than I! (Plus, you make EXCELLENT cupcakes!)
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
Submitted by skinny fat on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:53pm.
If Brangelina did break up, which they won't because as someone said they have the world at their feet just for being together, I wonder who the Brangeloonies would side with?
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Since the majority of the Brangeloonies are women, I'm guessing that they'll side with Pitt & turn on Angelina. Unfortunately, a lot of women are like that, especially the ones that live in delusional fantasy worlds. They're jealous & catty, & will throw another fellow woman under the bus in a heartbeat. Sad, but true.
I was gonna say stefystef plays well with others, she doesn't sit on the Skeletina threads solely.
On Topic: I am praying to Cheesus they are NO MORE!
Then I will pop some popcorn, go to JJ and watch the loon's all pop their taco's at once.
It will be epic.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:34pm.
I thought it was funny. Maybe since you're so confused you should head over and visit Perez.
Wow. stefystef's been here for a while. Maybe you shouldn't be so harsh, newbie. Jus' sayin'
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
I still love Angelina and think she's gorge! That may make me a loonie, but whatevs
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I haven't read the books or anything but is the female lead a robot? Is that what this shit is about? A vampire's love for a robot? If that's the case, then it all makes sense. - Master Blaster reviews Twilight
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:25pm.
A joke? Oh, a joke. I see...
~crickets churping~
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I thought it was funny. Maybe since you're so confused you should head over and visit Perez.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
@peopleperson....
Those pics tell the whole story! Hysterical!
Anyone who doesn't think this relationship is a sham, go look at this link.
I need to get my arsenal of weaponry ready for when the Brangaloonies try to riot.
Wonder what they'll steal.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:22pm.
stefystef on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:20pm
psssst...jazzfish did it on purpose, it's a joke...
ok?
ok.
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A joke? Oh, a joke. I see...
~crickets churping~
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Hee hee. While I am happy there were some people that thought it was funny, this one made my day!
Seriously folks, check out these Brangie at cannes pics. They are hysterical:
http://jmox.yuku.com/topic/462/t/Cannes-2009.html
PLEASE, goddess...let it be true.
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"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than die with the saints" Billy Joel
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:22pm.
stefystef on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:20pm
psssst...jazzfish did it on purpose, it's a joke...
ok?
ok.
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A joke? Oh, a joke. I see...
~crickets churping~
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
stefystef on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:20pm
psssst...jazzfish did it on purpose, it's a joke...
ok?
ok.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:34pm.
Angelina Jolie is so overrated. I mean, seriously, she hasn't done anything of note since Friends.
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Sorry, jazzfish, you are confusing your Hollywood whores.
it was JENNIFER ANISTON who was on Friends, not Angelina Jolie. But I can understand you being confused, since both women made Brad Pitt their bitch one time or another.
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There's no crying in butt sex!- Michael K
Submitted by moomarse on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:46pm.
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Excellent point! But, I kinka liked the dark lezzy crazy chick before she became the humanitarian mother of 100 - at least it was HONEST! She is SO phoney, and I HATE phoney people. Cheaters suck pretty big time too...
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I always thought the dark lezzy chick was totally phoney as well. It was her way of being an attention whore. I never bought it--it seemed so staged and "performed." Why can't people just act normal? Is that really so hard?
I call for a BATTLE ROYALE!!
Holie v Octomom v Batty Boyle v Gossemom v Vadge
Spencer Pratt referees
Kanye commentates (purely in rhyme of course)
Aroidy, Ramirez, Canseco, Vicks, and any pro wrestler as trainers
5 famewhores enter, 1 famewhore leaves, queen of the tabloids
Why, the fight for top billing alone...
nu huh...omg hear that? That's the sound of the brangeloonies coming to their saint's defense....I am outta' here!
As much as I hate to admit it, the Enquirer is usually spot on when it comes to these "big" gossip stories. Meh. This relationship was over long ago. The twins were just band-aid babies...a feeble attempt to get that lovin' feeling back for the cameras. Seriously, though, assuming there is no cheating or beating going on, how long should a couple try to make it work before calling it quits? Particularly when there are kids involved. Obviously in Hollywood, the bar is set really really low and no one is dedicated enough to make positive changes in themselves. Feel bad for that child army of theirs.
Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:46pm.
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Excellent point! But, I kinka liked the dark lezzy crazy chick before she became the humanitarian mother of 100 - at least it was HONEST! She is SO phoney, and I HATE phoney people. Cheaters suck pretty big time too...
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Blast! JJ isn't touching this with a 10-foot dildo. I was sooooo hoping there would be wailing and keening and tearing of hair.
Good point, skinny fat, who would the loonies side with? And if Trampolina plays it low and boo-hoo for a while, that's just what they accused Jennifer Aniston of doing.
If true, when the Brangeloonies hit the fan, there will be nonstop postings here like there was for the Anna Nicole Smith hullballoo.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
If true, thank you sweet Jesus!
I gotta say I don't buy it. Maybe I'm just afraid to hope.
Submitted by Mrs. F. on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 1:01pm.
The real question: how will Octomom top this?
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I have heard with her own fucking show! They're just trying to find a network... why isn't MK on this?!?!?!...
As for Brangalina... Karma's a bitch ain't it! hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Back at you, fuck faces!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
I cant believe i fucking missed this
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You're a rebel? You think you're a rebel? You're not a rebel, you're fucking psychotic! ~ Veronica Sawyer
I've said this before but...I see this on some cover EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. They all take turns. Whores.
♥ ThreadKilla!
TwitterWhore
TwitterWhore2
OH MAH GAH!
OH MAH GAH!
OH MAH GAH!
Fuck! I blinked and low behold a Brangelina Break Up post & a jillion comments on the O.P....
Fuck! I need to catch up!!!!
Well, to this I say, and? Didn't this already kind of show itself, these two have not been very all saintly holy these days. I hope this cunt cow Skeletina gets fucked over by the media, The Brad, her pa & bro! CUNT CUNT CUNT!!!
*blows dust off Bradiful Bitch id in anticipation*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
In other news, a crazed woman wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses and a t-shirt with the words "You Are So Uncool" written on the front was seen buying every copy of The Enquirer and muttering to herself "Take that, Maddox. Take that, Maddox...."
Nice try, MK, but I would recognise you anywhere...
No need to hate on Maddox like that. Surely either AC or The Ginge will decide to adopt, and you'll be snapped right up..
Don't hate. Your time will come!
"Can't the media cover more important shit like Spaghetti Cat or STAINS. Seriously, what are they up to? CNN, get on that!" - MK 5/13/09
Missy- that was the best imitation of a loonie EVAR.
Ps- Hop over to Celeb itchy for the real Angeloonie breaksdowns. Take that, loonies! ha hahahahahah
Oh, this is funny. JA needs to sail in for the finale to make them all check into the loonie bin.
Has it been six months already? Guess it's time for another Pitt/Jolie break up story.
i don't believe it! until they both confirm it.
This can't be true, simply because "professional psychic" Sylvia Browne predicted it (albeit, 3 years ago)...
Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 1:34pm.
people person - great pics...esp the one of him looking away when she has once again clawed him into some embrace or kiss...
PHOTO OP
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I love the one where he is pulling away as she tries to get him with her claw.
Wait, shhh. Do you hear that sound? Listen. It's the sound of the JJ loonies losing their shit over this news. A noise only the truly demented can make.
And Brad somewhere is cursing his baby wipes hygiene idea. If only you'd taken a SHOWER, Brad. Trampolina doesn't want to get with something that smells like baby goo.
Now that her talons have retracted from Brad's nutsack, how long will it be before another child is adopted?
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:46pm.
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Excellent post. ITA with every word.
Also, it is interesting to note that most of Jolie's movies were flops prior to her hooking up with Pitt.
people person - great pics...esp the one of him looking away when she has once again clawed him into some embrace or kiss...
PHOTO OP
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
The only way to know for certain is to ask Pitt's hairdresser. If he told him or her that he wanted to look like someone else then we know for sure it is over.
BTW, if this over (and God, let it be!) then how much you want to bet he drops his humanitarian act quicker than a hot potato?
I believe it. Check out these pictures of Brangie from Cannes...
http://jmox.yuku.com/topic/462/t/Cannes-2009.html
Damn I hope this is true!
I just hope their people set up 24 hour help lines for the loons who will shift between being hysterical and catonic upon hearing the news. What will JJ do without the weekly Brangelina photo ops?