The God And Goddess Of Heaven And Earth Have Split Up!!!!!
Hmmmm...At least that's what The National Enquirer is saying, but it's not raining outside. If this was true, God, the angels and the saints above would not stop weeping ever. They would flood the planet with their tears and we'd be forced to live in underwater cities. Actually, that sounds kind of hot. But I digress.
The Enquirer is saying that it's totally and completely over between St. Angie Jo and BENJAMIN BUTTON'S. Some source said that Brad is spending his time in California while Angie finishes that movie about white grains in New York. When she finishes filming, she's going to take her child army to France. A source called it an "OFFICIAL" split. They went on to yap, "Brad and Angelina will make appearances together from time to time, and he'll meet up with the kids when he can. But make no mistake, this is a major split."
The source said that the straw that broke the Angie's back --- Wait, a piece of straw could totally break her back, right? Like literally. Okay, back to the source. They said that Brangie's last moment together at the Cannes Film Festival was completely staged. They acted all lovely for the cameras, but they were both "over it" on the inside. That's when Angie gave Brad his nuts back and send him on his way.
The National Enquirer has been right before, but if this shit was true, they would devote an entire issue to this. Shit, they would change their name to BRANGIE IS DEAD Enquirer.
In other news, a crazed woman wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses and a t-shirt with the words "You Are So Uncool" written on the front was seen buying every copy of The Enquirer and muttering to herself "Take that, Maddox. Take that, Maddox...."
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If this is true: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
Get this straight, Brad and Angelina have been inseparable, pregnant, and happy raising their family for 5 years plus.
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5 years together if you include the year he was cheating on his wife while filming! It's 2009 - not trying to split hairs but Jen & Brad announced their separation in Jan. 2005. DO the math. It's 4 years of actually being out as a couple. Who wrote that shit?
The loons are scary. What on earth makes them think all of the years together have been happy ones? Inseparable, yes. So why so separated now? He's jetting off left and right (without the kids mind you) while she's filming. Sounds like these two self centered twats have finally awaken out of their delusion and realize their career is the MOST important thing to them. The ego is so f*cking huge that they both can't stop working to be with the kids (together) even for a year!
Pitt must've been completely vaginatized to think Jolie would ever be domesticated. She never had any intention on settling down with the kids and being a real mother. Brad Pitt's name brought her more fame than she could've hoped for. Seems a bit manipulative on her part. I find it ironic that for 4 years we have watched them prance the children around town where ever they are and yet for the past few months they've been able to keep their private life private. See what happens when you put effort into doing something? It's NOT impossible for them to keep the children out of the limelight they just chose NOT to ! I hope they are done- finally. Maybe now the kids can get some therapy!
Missy:
Why thank you!. Haha!.
-Submitted by Two Drink Min on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:55pm.
Egg - this is true...however she might be more sanctified away from him. Besides...everyone is getting sick of them and it's showing in the BO (box office, not Pitt's odor)."
I agree!. I already said it before, but Angelina Jolie will make her split from Pitt a HUGE circus either by vomiting crap in interviews or by playing it low and boohoo for a while. She will be the ultimate martyr... but that will poof into nothingness if she doesn't reinvent herself.
The "humanitarian mother earth" charade will only get her so far without Pitt's stardom to cushion her. I say the media and the people will get bored of her pretty soon. And I agree that they are sort of box office poison but what is keeping them A-list is their relationship and media coverage, that's why they can't afford to publicly split up.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
I love this story and SO hope it is true.
The Brangeloonies would side w/ Angelina, I'm sure. She's the real loon-attractor.
They probably just want the tab covers back from Jon & Kate - or "Kon" - the poor man's "Brangelina."
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"I RIDE ANYTHING I GET!"
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~cheetos & frapp~
If Brangelina did break up, which they won't because as someone said they have the world at their feet just for being together, I wonder who the Brangeloonies would side with?
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That would be St. Angie, and the Loonies would blame Aniston for her loveless marriage with Pitt.
If true, Anniston must be "over the moon."
The real question: how will Octomom top this?
Dear Lord, please forgive us for laughing at them.
Bwahahahahahaha.....
LMAO. Yeah, that would be major gossip news. It would also put the lie to their sainthood.
TITS - priceless.
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Submitted by Green Is Good on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:44pm.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:34pm.
Angelina Jolie is so overrated. I mean, seriously, she hasn't done anything of note since Friends.
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Ha ha ha ha!!! I'm dying over here!
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LOL. Brilliant!
comment on http://entertainment.oneindia.in/hollywood/top-stories/scoop/2009/pitt-j...
thanks for giving me a reason to tell every fanboard in existence, to block this site and never darken your door again. What ridiculous lies and science fiction you weave - you should be ashamed. I find it hard to believe in this day and age of instant news, where every fan can witness and verify for THEMSELVES via video footage, eyewitness accounts, and stills that are instantaneously posted on the , exactly what occurred and what happened, yet a few stupid trashy rags and blogs think they can get away with telling us are eyes and ears are lying to us. Get this straight, Brad and Angelina have been inseparable, pregnant, and happy raising their family for 5 years plus. If you think that by writing this kind of b.s., there are enough Jolie Pitt haters to sustain your site, you should ask the tabloids how their revenue numbers are faring. Maybe one day, some of you will put your own bitter envy of this beautiful loved up couple aside, and decide to REALLY come out ahead of the game and write the TRUTH, and get the revenue the millions of Jolie Pitt fans could give you. Until then. You and your cookies and links are toasted and blocked for all fcking time. By the way, I think this site has given my pc a virus.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
The Gosselin Hair Video is here! (A My2Cents/Sandbitch/TITS production)
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The only way they could really eat at each other, is if they both have kids with younger partners now. Like Pitt would have to get with a Freda Pinto type. Jolie would have to find a Jesus like Madge.
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Egg - this is true...however she might be more sanctified away from him. Besides...everyone is getting sick of them and it's showing in the BO (box office, not Pitt's odor).
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If Brangelina did break up, which they won't because as someone said they have the world at their feet just for being together, I wonder who the Brangeloonies would side with?
Stan Hooper - I believe that BBT compared her to a couch. She might be the cat's meow at first bite but after that she lames out. Real women get kinkier with time...not lamer.
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Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:46pm.
EGGcellent analysis!!!!
:-p
(I had to)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Where's James Haven? He'll give us the inside scoop.
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEND. Such sadness.
So is JJ shutting down for good?
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:43pm.
GIG, isn't it hilarious how we remember the details of that day? It really was important! I remember more about that day, than any inauguration! lmao
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Shows we got our priorities right in order: shallow and superficial. Works for me. Depth is sooo boring!
The more I think about it, which isnt much, the more I am realizing that we all couldnt possibly be this lucky...They are going to work out whatever is happening because he is a giant pussy & she is a controlling cunt. If he is the wrong one then he will get on his knees & beg & cry & do whatever it takes for the chance to make it up for her & he will drag the kids into it, so she will take him back with certain conditions...If its him that wants to leave her then she will manipulate & connive until she gets what she wants. I dont see either of them backing down & ruining what they have, which is the world & media at their feet just for being a couple. They will probably just spend more & more time working apart, so they dont have to directly deal with each other. I dont see a big break up coming any time soon & that nearly breaks my heart...
I bet what will happen is that she will be making a pregnancy announcement soon. They will have a night of make up sex that will haunt us all for nine plus months.
I don't know if they have split up, but if it's true, I do believe they will keep it "under wraps" due to the loads of media attention they will lose eventually. These two are a media goldmine TOGETHER. With them apart, it will most certainly be a downfall for Angelina Jolie first because quite honestly, she was a sort of a nobody before Brad Pitt. She wasn't worshipped, she wasn't sanctified, she was just that sort of
weird and dark crazy chick who was fucking Billy Bob in the limo and licking that asian model's bits. Her level of stardom actually jumped thousands of notches thanks to her relationsip to Stinky Pitt. The value of their relationship is huge firstly because of the adultery scandal, then because both are considered good looking by many and lastly because of the "humanitarian" PR bullshit they have built over the years (and that includes orphan collecting).
All of this will eventually fade, for Jolie first.. then for Pitt. Even if Pitt manages to come out of this scandal clean (same happened when he broke up with Aniston), he's not getting any younger and his stardom status has always been based on his looks. Jolie on the other hand, depends on her relationship to Pitt to be relevant unless she keeps on buying/breeding little human cockroaches. She could even go back to her old brother-kissing, cutting, lesbian, etc. antics and it will not work the same since the "humanitarian mother of 100" fantasy role is stronger than the "dark lezzy crazy chick", besides the crazy crap are more for the younger crowds. So she could keep up the humanitarian charade, but it will give her NO MORE MEDIA RELEVANCE and she will eventually fade into boredom. Maybe she could recycle the "man stealing" antic and it might actually work, who knows. It's her specialty, it seems.
Anyway, if this is true then she seems to have a pattern. How long has she lasted with each of her most serious partners? 3-4 years?.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
where is teriann and mslewis? did they take a handful of ma's exlax in hope of offing themselves?
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LCT - according to Wiki, he's adopted all 3 bought babies.
"In December 2005, it was confirmed that Pitt was seeking to legally adopt Jolie's two children, Maddox and Zahara.[154] On January 19, 2006, a judge in California approved this request, and the children's legal surnames were formally changed to "Jolie-Pitt".[155]"
"On March 15, 2007, Jolie adopted a three-year-old boy from Vietnam, Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt (originally Pax Thien Jolie). Since the orphanage did not allow unmarried couples to adopt, Jolie adopted Pax as a single parent, and Pitt later adopted him as his son in the United States.[160]"
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:34pm.
Angelina Jolie is so overrated. I mean, seriously, she hasn't done anything of note since Friends.
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Ha ha ha ha!!! I'm dying over here!
GIG, isn't it hilarious how we remember the details of that day? It really was important! I remember more about that day, than any inauguration! lmao
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"Not in a million years. Audrina is moving in a completely different direction than those two ... she's a star."
- Ceiling Eye's Mgr, about the rumor she'd replace Speidi "I'm a Celebrity...."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:27pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:22pm.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:12pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:46am.
"This could rank up there with the day Paris went to jail....."
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NOTHING will ever match Wonky McValtrex crying her cunty, spoiled ass off in the back of that LAPD cruiser.
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that Anniversary is coming up! 2 years ago, June 8th! Best Day EVER.
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I forget which hot slut it was, but somebody wrote "Call the Waaaaaaambulance!" That is an epic win right there.
Well, I am over the moon.
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Submitted by like-wow on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:32pm.
They've been wrong far more times than they've been right. Like all the times they've said Castro is dead. If you keep reporting it (like the Castro is dead thing) eventually it will be true I suppose.
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Puh-leeze. I remember when Pigez was adament that he, and only he, had the inside scoopy about Castro croaking. When proven wrong he never said a word and for weeks afterwards, I had a friend who kept posting in every thread asking him if Castro was dead yet. The little shit finally banned her.
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
hahahahahha jazzfish!
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"Not in a million years. Audrina is moving in a completely different direction than those two ... she's a star."
- Ceiling Eye's Mgr, about the rumor she'd replace Speidi "I'm a Celebrity...."
nowhere near the ocean, can I scream at lake erie?
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Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:34pm.
Angelina Jolie is so overrated. I mean, seriously, she hasn't done anything of note since Friends.
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Hahahahahaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Nice.
Submitted by barburger on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:33pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:27pm.
I lost my appetite when I projectile-sneezed all over my salad but not it's coming back and I wan a burger. le sigh.
C'mon over Rover. I'll fire up the grill. The burger household always ready to serve. Want your bun toasted?
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I just made an "O" face. YUMMY TOASTED BUNS!
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
Angelina Jolie is so overrated. I mean, seriously, she hasn't done anything of note since Friends.
c the hoff - you forgot to whipe the the bon bon choc off the corners of your mouth. Let's go commense at the K-mart blue light for bo bos.
I am sure I can find me a new house dress too. Mind if we stop at the the dentist for my new chops?
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LCT - I'm trying to remember, he has only legally adopted one of them. Pax I think.
Fuck. I need to go google.
Where the fuck is a loon when you have a legitimate question?!?!
Pfft.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:27pm.
I lost my appetite when I projectile-sneezed all over my salad but not it's coming back and I wan a burger. le sigh.
C'mon over Rover. I'll fire up the grill. The burger household always ready to serve. Want your bun toasted?
They've been wrong far more times than they've been right. Like all the times they've said Castro is dead. If you keep reporting it (like the Castro is dead thing) eventually it will be true I suppose.
Awwww, look at the way she is looking at her man. She is saying, with those gorgeous eyes "I am gonna give you some tonight my handsome Missouri Hillbilly!"" and the look on his face says he KNOWS what he is in for later that night! These two are so magical, that Unicorns dance, rainbows bleed gold and fairies faint from the pure raw emotional lust of these two heavy hitting actors!
They needed no Oscar statue to prove to everyone that trhey are indeed Hollywoods NEW and only Golden Couple!
Amnyone who hates on these two Love Doves has no idea wtf they are talking about cuz you obviously are screaming at the ocean and filling your wombs up with drugs since you can't have children and love Chinneston!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
*puts strainer on head and wears blanket as a cape* Brad and Angie suck out loud and they both smell like rancid licorice! NYAH!
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
loon flavored missy:
MK how DARE you print these horrible lies!!!!! I wont believe it until PEOPLE, the only REAL magazine in the WORLD, reports it.
B and angie have the hottest sex EVERY NIGHT and are SO IN LOVE!!! You just want to kill yourself because you know youll always be a mom-jeans wearing soccer mom anniston worshiper and you cant stand seeing anyone so perfect and amazing as angie.
Go scream into the ocean because your dream of splitting up brange just isnt going to happen!!!!!
GOD BLESS THE JOLIE PITTS!
*takes bow*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Shit, I got on this bitch late 188 comments?!?!?!
Did we already start pouring? I see that some of you have your foil hats ready...
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Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:28pm.
GOD BLESS THE JOLIE-PITTS!!!!!
*adjusts tin foil hat*
GOD BLESS THE JOLIE-PITTS!!!!!!!!
"snaps waistband on size eighteen pants, brushes frito crumbs off chin"
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Fucka doodle-do.
It will be interesting to see how Jolie handles a split from a man that she MUST share her children with. Usually she leans on her exes even years after they break up. She's never HAD to remain in contact with them - apparently she chooses to. I wonder if they hate each other (which would suck for the kids) or if they maturely realized they're not right for each other and are okay with the split.
Only time will tell. Maybe now Pitt will stop yammering about how wonderful the family is!!LIAR.
BRANGELINA 4EVER!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:25pm.
Does it taste like the popcorn jelly belly?
*barfs*
uh, I agree. Those are so beyond repulsive.
OT--Can someone take this pic of the Saint and give her possumhead?
fucking classy - but not as sad as the loons I am sure!
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maniston with 2 eyes pushed too close together must be happy....
GOD BLESS THE JOLIE-PITTS!!!!!
*adjusts tin foil hat*
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Submitted by barburger on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:20pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:17pm.
NaNoop, I never thought Brad Pitt was hot. I don't know why but I just never did.
I never did either. I don't dig on the pretty boys, or for ones who spend more time looking in the mirror than I do.
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I hate the pretty ones. BTW, your avvie making my hungry. I lost my appetite when I projectile-sneezed all over my salad but not it's coming back and I wan a burger. le sigh.
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg