The God And Goddess Of Heaven And Earth Have Split Up!!!!!
Hmmmm...At least that's what The National Enquirer is saying, but it's not raining outside. If this was true, God, the angels and the saints above would not stop weeping ever. They would flood the planet with their tears and we'd be forced to live in underwater cities. Actually, that sounds kind of hot. But I digress.
The Enquirer is saying that it's totally and completely over between St. Angie Jo and BENJAMIN BUTTON'S. Some source said that Brad is spending his time in California while Angie finishes that movie about white grains in New York. When she finishes filming, she's going to take her child army to France. A source called it an "OFFICIAL" split. They went on to yap, "Brad and Angelina will make appearances together from time to time, and he'll meet up with the kids when he can. But make no mistake, this is a major split."
The source said that the straw that broke the Angie's back --- Wait, a piece of straw could totally break her back, right? Like literally. Okay, back to the source. They said that Brangie's last moment together at the Cannes Film Festival was completely staged. They acted all lovely for the cameras, but they were both "over it" on the inside. That's when Angie gave Brad his nuts back and send him on his way.
The National Enquirer has been right before, but if this shit was true, they would devote an entire issue to this. Shit, they would change their name to BRANGIE IS DEAD Enquirer.
In other news, a crazed woman wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses and a t-shirt with the words "You Are So Uncool" written on the front was seen buying every copy of The Enquirer and muttering to herself "Take that, Maddox. Take that, Maddox...."
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Submitted by freebird on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:03pm.
How about me? Do you think I am a cute kitty?
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
boooo. they're moderating my comment. :(
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
This had better be true because cunt just made me burn brekkie.
I agree that the kids would probably be miles better off with a split.
Except Pax. Poor little Pham Quang Sang.
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:04pm.
OMG!! I just read that Brad left for Jon Goss!!!
You know, I can TOTALLY see Brad rockin' the Possum Head 'do.
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
I would love for him to go back to Aniston just so she could have the last laugh. Too bad Skankalina and Armpit were never married. I think Zahara is behind this somehow.
Oh shit. Migraine. My bad. I am in insensitive asshole.
I totally didn't think before I posted.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:04pm.
EDIT: Hey, Jazzy ;p I missed your earlier one. You really need to warn me of these things. I was out making the popcorn!
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Popcorn as in the vodka plus tonic popcorn??
I called this shit. As soon as I saw them 'together' at Cannes I knew this shit was FINISHED. Those poor kids, 2 selfish and inconsiderate people as parents. Glad they were in such a rush to have a big family, these 2 are quite possibly the biggest assholes on the plant. They are right up there with Octomom. Fuckin shameless piles of shit is all I can come up with to sum them up. Poor fuckin kids.
The two cheaters are just trying to be like the Gosselins. I heard Angie has booked an appointment with Supercuts of Redding, PA for her very own reverse mullet.
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"I masturbate ALOT." - Ernest Borgnine
edit* Damn...bunch of h8trs!
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Submitted by joggydusk on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:01pm.
seriously?
they both look good in my opinion.
my friend i were just talking about that:
http://thebirdinmymouth.com/2009/06/03/aging/
they're great people and deserve respect.
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Ahhh the first to arrive!
Welcome, we have been waiting for you.........
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:02pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:57am.
Well *I* heard he's leaving the family because he never could bond properly with Zahara because he's a closet racist!!
ITS TRUE!! Isnt he from Kentucky or some shit? I mean its obviously not gonna work. Especially when he would give the side eye to zahara when the crows from Dumbo came on the tv...
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OH SHIT!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
*gets on bus to hell*
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:03pm.
Submitted by NaNoop on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:56am.
Did you survive without any paper cuts?!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I did but the poor FedEx man won't be eating any Cheez Wiz sammiches for a while!
I don't know why, but I could dig on a Cheez Wiz sammich right about now...
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Hey peeps. You know I truly love you all, but if I could just be completly real here.....may I ask that we not make suicide jokes? Some peeps we all know (including myself) are survivors and it just is not funny to us.
Since we always have to bring JA into this mess. I think she would be more dissapointed if they don't work out..
why did he leave her for? was is worth it? maybe I'm the Minority here but If my non-existent husband is going to cheat on me, it better be worth it, I wish he'll do it with "The one" you know? . I don't know, I'm ovulating.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:01pm.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:58am.
I also heard she's been banging John and Kate ain't about to sit still for that shit. Angie and Kate are going to go to blows over this one.
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Well, I heard that Brad is the real reason behind the breakup of Jon and Kate!
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But which one was he banging?? Jon or Kate?
FREEEEEEEEEEEEBIRD! Brad's theme song: What What in My Butt.
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
they are talking about it on JJ.
"The best part of the Enquirer story is how even they can’t pretend that it’s an actual break-up, so they have to be all, “Um, they’ll still make public appearances together, and it will LOOK like they’re together.” Please. Until a tabloid is willing to man up and seriously claim that these two are DONE and will be living apart and will be admitting to the public that it’s OVER, I can’t even take a word they say seriously. They all want to act like they have scoop, but they give themselves away with their constant a*s covering. It’s always, “They WILL be breaking up soon!” or “They have broken up PRIVATELY!” or “They WERE broken up, but Angelina begged him to come back and he caved.”
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:58am.
LOLOL
Thanks!
Anyone can take one. We consider it a compliment of the highest order.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
The Gosselin Hair Video is here! (A My2Cents/Sandbitch/TITS production)
http://www.dailymotion.com/user/fluffybunnykins666/video/x9dzac_jon-kate...
Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05
Oh for christ sake-the sun came up today so it caaaaaaaaant be possible!!!!!
arghhhhhhhhhhh!
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:58am.
I also heard she's been banging John and Kate ain't about to sit still for that shit. Angie and Kate are going to go to blows over this one.
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Well, I heard that Brad is the real reason behind the breakup of Jon and Kate!
EDIT: Hey, Jazzy ;p I missed your earlier one. You really need to warn me of these things. I was out making the popcorn!
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
PLEEZZZEEE.....There is no way Brad is going to pull away from that trantic vadge.
the man has Angelina vaginosis
He's infected for life.
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:02pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:58am.
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Oh, sign me up! :) And I'm horrible about the avies. Like in my head, CtheH is a barfing mess and Provy's a hot girl. Does. Not. Compute.
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I have that same thing. Snowy as smiling Glambie, Happy Hour is maniacally happy and Sheeps was a sheep until he became a wave.
Don't we already have a loon on this site? Where is she?
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People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.- Daria
Submitted by NaNoop on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:56am.
Did you survive without any paper cuts?!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I did but the poor FedEx man won't be eating any Cheez Wiz sammiches for a while!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg
When they first got together, one would make a movie and the other would wait until that movie was finished and then make "its" movie so the family could stay together.
More and more trips apart - not a good sign for them.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:01pm.
Is there mass suicide happening with the loons? Are they bowing to their shrines, tears streaming down their faces, screaming "WHY GOD, WHY!!!!" as they swollow bottles of Advil and use butter knives to slit their wrists?
I think some of 'em are shrieking their "WHY"'S at Satan, some of them loons are fucking psychotic evil ass cracks!!!
Submitted by devilgirl on 04/07/2009
"how can these blogs and "media" make false statements about my daughter a talente"
I am cornfused?! What exactly is "talente"? Is she Rojo taliente?
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:59am.
It might not be so bad for the kids. Fewer photo ops. And the nannies are raising them anyway. And they might get to stay in one place while Angie Jo searches for their new daddy.
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ITA.
Ah, IMO, Brangelina made those chillans fair game when they sold their dating profiles w/pics to the media.
Ho's Ho's and Ho's!!!
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Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:57am.
Well *I* heard he's leaving the family because he never could bond properly with Zahara because he's a closet racist!!
ITS TRUE!! Isnt he from Kentucky or some shit? I mean its obviously not gonna work. Especially when he would give the side eye to zahara when the crows from Dumbo came on the tv...
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:58am.
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Oh, sign me up! :) And I'm horrible about the avies. Like in my head, CtheH is a barfing mess and Provy's a hot girl. Does. Not. Compute.
Submitted by putsomestankonit on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 12:00pm.
I'm certain that JA could give a shit less if this is true or not.
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LOL!
What PSL says.
It's Suze, like in booze.
seriously?
they both look good in my opinion.
my friend i were just talking about that:
http://thebirdinmymouth.com/2009/06/03/aging/
they're great people and deserve respect.
Whose next for Brad? Back to Aniston or off to Madonna?
It might not be so bad for the kids. Fewer photo ops. And the nannies are raising them anyway. And they might get to stay in one place while Angie Jo searches for their new daddy.
Edit: If the kids had a stable home life where daddy came home at 6:00 every night and then he was suddenly gone, THAT would be traumatic. But they have no consistency anyway. Brad is probably just another transient element of their lives.
Is there mass suicide happening with the loons? Are they bowing to their shrines, tears streaming down their faces, screaming "WHY GOD, WHY!!!!" as they swollow bottles of Advil and use butter knives to slit their wrists?
Where's the Pied Piper of Dlisted? It's time to organize a Just Jared field trip.
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"If you feel down and you put on a tiara or a
cute sparkly headband it like totally brightens
up your day" - Paris Hilton
it WOULD be christmas in june if brangelina really was dunzo. phony media whores with massive egos who are just so ABOVE US ALL!!! but i doubt it. santa angieHo will be pregnant in 2 days or buying a kid (they REALLY do need a black child for Zahara - child will get a complex)
I'm certain that JA could give a shit less if this is true or not.
Submitted by lelu on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:53am.
For the sake of the kids, this is really sad
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Those kids are probably going to be a little weird and messed up as it is. Besides, isn't having "divorced" (because they aren't really married) parents the norm these days?
Did you know Brad Pitt is the male celebrity we have dreamt about the most in over a decade?
http://thedreamzone.com/blog/?cat=54
Oprah Winfrey and Madonna tie for most dreamt about female celebrity.
"I don't do drugs. My dreams are frightening enough." - MC Escher
http://thedreamzone.com/blog/
I think the Enquirer broke the Rock Hudson having AIDS before anyonme else but I could be wrong.
*runs to google info*
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
hahhahahaha......you guys....
JJ won't post this. No way.
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"Not in a million years. Audrina is moving in a completely different direction than those two ... she's a star."
- Ceiling Eye's Mgr, about the rumor she'd replace Speidi "I'm a Celebrity...."
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:54am.
Happy Hour - we had that shit here last night. Sent it to you!
Well, thank you! I couldn't fucking sleep thinking that there will be a Tsunami.
"Ah, takeafuckinpitcha" ` M.E.'s Mom.
::::yawn::::
I also heard she's been banging John and Kate ain't about to sit still for that shit. Angie and Kate are going to go to blows over this one.
Jen is sitting on the floor flicking a lamp on and off a la Glenn Close waiting for his call.
That picture above looks so funny. It goes so well with the story.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/03/2009 - 11:54am.
Roo- Is the FedEx guy hot? Because the thought of you (since I assume you're Jeremy Sisto) getting it on with another guy is WAY more interesting than any Brangelina break up.
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Actually, if you like shirt balding dudes withhairy calves and pot bellies, he's a keeper! My avvie is The Sisto. I'm just his number one fan. Get off him, he's mine.
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Charlie - a "septum" is in your NOSE, not your boobs - DiamondDawg