Lance Armstrong Is A Daddy Again
Lance Armstrong's girlfriend, Anna Hansen, popped out a baby and he has already made his internet debut. Last night, Lance's new son Max Twittered about his birth and even posted a picture of himself. Max: "Wassup, world? My name is Max Armstrong and I just arrived. My Mommy is healthy and so am I!"
You know, whenever I go see a friend or relative who has just had a baby it's usually the same thing. They hold up their week old ball of preciousness and say to me, "Isn't he/she the most cutest baby you've ever seen?" I clear my throat, blink several times, think of fluffy kittens frolicking in the fields and then lie my ass off by saying, "DUH! Of course!" For me, most newborns look like they are going to grab you with their claws, climb on your head and eat your brains before retreating to their home planet. Which makes sense since they've been living in another human's body for 9 months! It's all kind of science fiction-like. It takes them a couple of weeks to settle in and get all the womb meat out of their eyes.
And Max is already a genius, because he's not even a week old and he already knows how to Twitter! Blowing my mind.
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Usually, I think all babies are cute, but....WOW! Just wow!
Well, to be fair, Lance is no beauty. I doubt Jr. is ever going to "grow" into his looks.
That's such an ugly kid...
I'm probably barren (at least karmically if not genetically) for all I know, but if I ever have kids I really hope they don't look like that. I might be too judgemental to put on the parental blinders. If they looked like THAT, then you can at least be sure I wouldn't be putting up their picture on stupid Twitter until I thought tey had grown into ther looks. He really should have tried for a better picture...
didnt he dump sheryl crow because she wanted a baby? what an asshole.
Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 6:38pm.
That is one ugly baby.
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Didn't you mean "snuggly"? My all time fave Seinfeld epi.
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
That is one ugly baby.
I really hope that's a bad pic...I would scream for an exorcist if that came out of me
That's the ugliest fucking baby I've ever seen. Is it even human?
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"Today could be the day I'm mistaken for someone important."
Stone me all ya want to, guys, but that is the fugliest kid I have ever seen, and I have seen plenty of newborns!
His hand in that picture looks like a claw and it looks like we have another mouth breather on our hands...Watch out Shiloh!
I know babies are fuggy looking, but this little Armstrong is the fucking ugliest thing I have ever seen!! What a sight, push that back up!!
My lunch has just returned to the mouth area!!
I thought he dumped Sheryl Crow because she wanted kids, and he didn't want any more *scratching head*
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Make way!! Ho lover & Ladee Undercracker sniffer, Dr. Mugshot Ego E Wack comin' thru. And that's Queen JJ Cakes to you!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:58am.
It's all about squashing their natural spirit.
Kidding...
It's consistency. The same message, every time. No, you don't stand on the seat in a restaurant booth. You say please and thank you and excuse me. You want to cry and scream and throw a trantrum? You'll do it on your bed with the door closed because nobody else wants to hear it. Try it in a store or restaurant and I will inconvenience myself to leave immediately at the most and drag your ass outside at the very least so you understand there are consequences to unacceptable behavior.
Some parents are so afraid of hurting their kid's feelings. I don't want my boys to be downtrodden but I don't think that the happiest kids necessarily are the ones that get free reign because they get so much shit and flack and looks from outsiders.
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COSIGN whole-heartedly!
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"I'm an attractive woman, not a sperm covered butt pirate standing on the street for a five dolla holla." - Christine The Hoff on 6/3/2009
Sorry, but 99.99% of newborns look like something out of a Wes Craven film, to me. And I'm not even talking about when they're still covered in placenta and other gross bodily junk. Babies just aren't my thing.
And enough with the name Max already, jesus. That shit is so played out.
Could NOT have said it better about newborns!!! Especially, this pic. Good night!!!!
IMHO that's one cute kid, funny looking little critter!
Can't stand his pop though.
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Auri sacra fames
That is one ugly fucking kid. Looks just like his Daddy.
That evil looking baby looks like it may have horns under that little cap & hooves for feet. I am sorry, I dont like to make fun of babies, because they are so innocent, but that is one wacky looking infant...Probably just a bad pic...Rriiigghhtt....
I dont know all the ins & outs of his cancer/testicle situation, but does he have testicles still & any natural occuring sperm or were they completely removed & this is an IVF baby from his frozen stuff? I dont understand why he would deliberately have another baby with a girlfriend if it didnt happen by "accident". That just seems weird since he seems like a committment phobe type of guy & already has a ton of kids.
Submitted by Sensimina on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 10:08am.
I sent you an email, angel
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Gots it:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:58am.
It's all about squashing their natural spirit.
Kidding...
It's consistency. The same message, every time. No, you don't stand on the seat in a restaurant booth. You say please and thank you and excuse me. You want to cry and scream and throw a trantrum? You'll do it on your bed with the door closed because nobody else wants to hear it. Try it in a store or restaurant and I will inconvenience myself to leave immediately at the most and drag your ass outside at the very least so you understand there are consequences to unacceptable behavior.
Some parents are so afraid of hurting their kid's feelings. I don't want my boys to be downtrodden but I don't think that the happiest kids necessarily are the ones that get free reign because they get so much shit and flack and looks from outsiders.
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A-MEN!
It's work to raise children. You can NOT do the work but that's not ever gonna make anyone any happier.
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Kate's hair would look good on Lance, too.
Don't have the multimedia skillz to do it myself; I can barely post to this board without burning the house down.
Submitted by sparkle586 on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 7:44am.
New baby. Same old asshole. I wish people would rag on THIS mutha fucka the way they do the chicks. I mean, dude left his long-suffering wife and family who supported him through nut cancer and ran off to live the Hollywood lifestyle. He then goes through half the twats in Hollywood and turns around a few years later and knocks up some other ho.
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I totally agree. I can't stand Lance - especially after he just yapped his trap about how he & Sheryl Crow split up because her "clock was ticking & she wanted babies," but he "just wasn't ready." Dude, you're like 40 years old, already have three kids & an ex-wife, and you're going to leave the "love of your life" because she wants a baby... THEN, you go & knock up some other GIRL less than a year later?!
I can't stand this twat (or his arm bands) or Sheryl Crow.
That baby has the major creepy face if I ever saw one.
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the typical Twilight fan.
Fat, awkward and waiting for a fictional prince to forklift them off their feet."
Submitted by sparkle586 on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 7:44am.
New baby. Same old asshole. I wish people would rag on THIS mutha fucka the way they do the chicks. I mean, dude left his long-suffering wife and family who supported him through nut cancer and ran off to live the Hollywood lifestyle. He then goes through half the twats in Hollywood and turns around a few years later and knocks up some other ho.
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Consider this cosigned, Sparkle.
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Just because no one understands you, doesn't mean you're an artist.
I (heart) angel_i.
Most kydz get on my last fucking nerve, and that is usually because of cr8tyv parunting. And kydz usually ramp up the crack monkey polka dance when their paruntal units are around. My nieces and nephews are fine for me, but somehow spin into half-wit mode when moo and dud show up.
You have no clue how many wedding tapes I have watched (okay required by relatives-blah), that have a screaming hatchling, with lungs like Ethel Merman, drowned out unimportant shit, like the vows. Blows my mind how the handler doesn't think to leave.
Could someone who is a parent explain why if your child is going nuclear during a funeral/wedding or something else that screaming isn't part of the festivities, it's okay to let is shriek like a holler monkey? For longer than 5 minutes? I get the new born "quietly fussing", and the squirming toddler/preschooler stuff. But I'm talking about the full bore melt down.
As for Lance, whatever. Glad the sprog is healthy, and his girlfriend should watch her back. He tends to leave after the hatchlings are hatched.
~*Everybody's Doing the Gosselin!*~
Submitted by Mopa on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:22am.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:12am.
Some people can take the adults only wedding to an extreme though.
My daughters are 15 and 13 and very mature. if they aren't invited, I don't think we will go
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I think you will find though that this is because you cant allow the 15 year olds without everyone getting offended that you didnt want their 7 yeara old. Honestly, a kid is a kid and I had a NO kids policy at all because I didnt want to deal with where to cut it off. My wedding was a drinking/dancing affair and it cost about $200 per head for food, venue and booze alone. Its really not fair to the couple for everyone to bring their kids as well. A headcount is a headcount and I'm not trying to do the electric slide drunk with junior at midnight so he doesnt need to add to the tab.
Submitted by sparkle586 on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 7:44am.
New baby. Same old asshole. I wish people would rag on THIS mutha fucka the way they do the chicks. I mean, dude left his long-suffering wife and family who supported him through nut cancer and ran off to live the Hollywood lifestyle. He then goes through half the twats in Hollywood and turns around a few years later and knocks up some other ho.
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I hear that. The guy had cancer, so he gets free pass to be a narcissistic asshole and dump his wife? Pffft.
I sent you an email, angel
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen: "... a lot of times very small children are taken to events they don't belong at: a museum exhibit of Jacqueline Kennedy's clothing, for example. ...lots of times kids are dragged to adult events for the adults' convenience and not the child's experience.
"
AMEN! Tried to take my kids to the Met (we live a few blocks away and we get in for free) and it was an epic fail.
And as far as "enriching" experiences... My mother is always sending me clippings of kids' activities that she sees in the NY Times. She overplans for things to do when we go visit her. Maybe I'm just a lazy parent, but all we ever do is roam the park or play at home. The kids could give a shit less about the Marionette Puppet Theater or the African Dance Troupe. They'd rather beat some playdough to death on my coffee table or makes piles of stones and leaves in the park. I think using their imaginations and playing free is more enriching than trying to force-feed a 3 year old "culture".
Hmmph!
If I decide to do the whole wedding thing when I get married, I would not want children at my wedding. I, like most others, think the majority of children these days are horribly misbehaved and act like brats. I was raised with the fear of god in me, and expect other parents to make their children behave in public. This new passive aggressive parenting I have seen many people adopt makes me stabby. HOWEVER, I would also pay the money to provide childcare. I don't want to prevent my friends from coming.
ISMU - You are a saint. I hope your juicebox is filled with a strong liquor.
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And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun.....
that is the WORST baby picture
he looks like an alien!
www.thatshideous.com
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:58am.
It's consistency. The same message, every time. No, you don't stand on the seat in a restaurant booth. You say please and thank you and excuse me. You want to cry and scream and throw a trantrum? You'll do it on your bed with the door closed because nobody else wants to hear it. Try it in a store or restaurant and I will inconvenience myself to leave immediately at the most and drag your ass outside at the very least so you understand there are consequences to unacceptable behavior.
Some parents are so afraid of hurting their kid's feelings. I don't want my boys to be downtrodden but I don't think that the happiest kids necessarily are the ones that get free reign because they get so much shit and flack and looks from outsiders.
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Damn.. now I want to move there when I have babies so I can get tips from you! Your sons are going to be little princes!
lance's one ball is super spunky...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
Roger!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:49am.
****
It's all about squashing their natural spirit.
Kidding...
It's consistency. The same message, every time. No, you don't stand on the seat in a restaurant booth. You say please and thank you and excuse me. You want to cry and scream and throw a trantrum? You'll do it on your bed with the door closed because nobody else wants to hear it. Try it in a store or restaurant and I will inconvenience myself to leave immediately at the most and drag your ass outside at the very least so you understand there are consequences to unacceptable behavior.
Some parents are so afraid of hurting their kid's feelings. I don't want my boys to be downtrodden but I don't think that the happiest kids necessarily are the ones that get free reign because they get so much shit and flack and looks from outsiders.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:53am.
angel, I think I've got 2 email addies for you. Should I share the live one?
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Yahuh. That's where I go now - the other one is for spam.
♥ ThreadKilla!
TwitterWhore
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ISMU: I agree! That's how my mom was, and Mr. Hekki's, too.
There are things that are negotiable and things that I will not budge from. One thing I didn't like about my mother was that EVERYTHING was absolute and non-negotiable, so I never learned to negotiate. And I'm still afraid to ask for things, because I was conditioned to take what I was given and not ask for any more. I'd like my daughters to have the freedom to ask for (and sometimes get) what they want.
I know it's bad to say mean things about children but that baby looks like a damn gremlin when you've fed it after midnight.
Submitted by Sensimina on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:44am.
Same. I don't get a thrill out of out-cunting people on internet message boards, so I don't really go there.
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LMAO & WORD!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:49am.
angel_i: No offense taken; everyone has a view. They do need practice, but their practice is at someone's else important event: Graduation, wedding.
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And those are the kinds of things I think are ok, when it's their important event too...but the museum? No. You couldn't actually pay me to take squirmy toddlers somewhere they don't belong. It's just such an exercise in futility over all. Why suffer this way? Any of us? Like - if I brought my pittie. LOL! (I laugh, lovingly, at his overly friendly bull-in-a-chinashop personality!)
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angel, I think I've got 2 email addies for you. Should I share the live one?
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:51am.
Submitted by Sensimina on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:44am.
Same. I don't get a thrill out of out-cunting people on internet message boards, so I don't really go there. Plus, I just don't get it.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:46am.
Submitted by Sensimina on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:44am.
LCT, angel_i, other bitches....are any of you guys signed up at the forum? I'd like to send a PM.
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Hey, you can pass that on (I'm not in the forum)...or pass Sensimina my email, even! If you don't mind, that is...:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
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Submitted by Sensimina on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:44am.
LCT, angel_i, other bitches....are any of you guys signed up at the forum? I'd like to send a PM.
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I'm signed up but avoid it; Jizzball scared me out of there.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Right on again, Hekki. I'd rather get dirty looks for making my kids behave in public than getting dirty looks for letting them do whatever they please. Fuck the onlookers...you can't please everyone. I am more concerned with the way my kids are behaving. A parent in public can never win anyway so you might as well do the right thing! I get so effing irritated with screaming kids at the store but just walk on by. WTF is my dirty look going to accomplish anyway, ya know?
P.S. My little ones are home already, last day of school & it was only an hour. My son is jumping for joy & my daughter is crying because she misses her friends & teacher already:( I wish I had loved school that much! lol
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"Sam put drugs in Britney's biscuits"
ISMU, how do you actually teach children to be respectful and not get a free pass because they're kids? I thought they were just programmed to be brats and couldn't comprehend being decent.
angel_i: No offense taken; everyone has a view. They do need practice, but their practice is at someone's else important event: Graduation, wedding. There's restaurants and malls and kids' birthday parties to practice at, right?
I feel a lot of this is due to the fact that the parents don't want to pay a babysitter. I'm not a proponent of the "children should be seen and not heard" philosophy, but that a lot of times very small children are taken to events they don't belong at: a museum exhibit of Jacqueline Kennedy's clothing, for example. In a stroller, squirming. It's not right for the child to be subjected to that because the parent wants to go and not pay a sitter. I had to pay good money to see this exhibit and stand behind someone and their stroller. If it's the main museum or a children's exhibit, great. But lots of times kids are dragged to adult events for the adults' convenience and not the child's experience.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Pleco I loooooooooooooooooooooooooves you! Fanks!
Submitted by Sensimina on Fri, 06/05/2009 - 9:44am.
LCT, angel_i, other bitches....are any of you guys signed up at the forum? I'd like to send a PM.
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Yeppers!