Wednesday, June 10th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By A Chola Makeup Tutorial
Everybody needs to watch this video, take notes and pay close attention to everything Baby Smiley does! Homegirl speaks the truth! She's right when she says that if you don't put your eyeliner on hella thick, nobody will take you seriously! The "bitch eyebrow" test is also a very important. The gorgeous cholita look isn't only for riding around in an Impala while listening to oldies, it's also practical for the office. Think about it. The next time your boss tries to make you stay late, he will take one look at your Sharpie eyebrows and back down. Bitch may even give you a raise.
Baby Smiley covered almost every base, but she forgot to mention to stick razors in your hair and cover your neck with hickeys for the full effect!
(Thanks April)
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DD - I think I'll mark mine with a "JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BMW DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN TAKE UP TWO FUCKING SPOTS"
Submitted by kdracofan on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:53pm.LMAO.. I am soo using the Mickey one lol..
i want to be friends with baby smiley...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:58pm.
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Ok. Good! Get him when he's high, then innocently come out and tell the police the dog is being abused and can you take it to the Humane Society. My understanding is that they do all they can to keep from putting unadopted pets down. If its a Dachsund (right?) it would be adopted pretty quickly.
GOOD LUCK HON!! I'M PRAYING NOW FOR THE DOG. I'll be horrified if you come back and report that he no longer has the dog. He sounds like the type who'll end up on CNN.
Oh my Lord... I just saw the video.. is she for real? I hope not! Viva East LA.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:53pm.
Stupid whore was saying THREE HOURS AGO that she would come back in here in two and tell the damn fucking story.
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And you keep falling for it. Don't yew know a con when yew see one, woman? She be an attention hoor who is milking this for all its worth!
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
Is it bad that now I WANT to find a bad parker in the lot just so I can use my new flyers? Teehee.
Also, it is now officially past the time EH is allowed to post desert story since Migraine is gone and others are leaving. What a stupid fucking funt!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:58pm.
*photocopies parking cards*
*runs to car paper flying everywhere*
*shoves in trunk*
Lalalalala....*whistles*
What's new horz?
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On the list that has the boxes to check, I think in the "OTHER" box I'm gonna hand write in fat sharpie "YOUR CAR IS TOO F'G BIG" and photocopy about 100.
(hope i have not offended ppl here with big cars)
another mean idea in the OTHER box, "You didn't LOOK handicapped when you trotted into Walmart" (but I know that some people have stuff you can't see).
BUT THOSE NOTES ARE GOLD, GOLD!!
Everyone's cute cat stories are making me very sad that I'm extremely allergic to most kitties :(
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
You bitches owe me! lmao!
LMAO @ Stoney's 400 copies
DD
It won't be hard to have the police on his ass because you can get high just by standing on the hallway for 2 minutes. He has tons of the good shit and people go in and out and I think he is growing too because he steals power from the building (he has an extension cord coming out of his door down to the outlet in the hallway).
The only reason we haven't done the SPCA today is because the dog isn't even there. His bitch took the goggie with her because he said he was going on a road trip for a few days.
As I type my husband is talking to the landlady and making all of this known so I think we can expect her here this late afternoon or on Monday if the trick isn't home.
Stoney: when Jamie doesn't pay attention to Osiris as soon as he gets home, he trips him as he walks. And yells a lot A LOT. As soon as he hears the main door downstairs he's meowing at the apt door.
EDIT: Haribo, we know he hurts people..he smacks his bitch around like it's nobody's business. And it isn't really, bitch is just another nutjob. THey are meant for each other.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
*photocopies parking cards*
*runs to car paper flying everywhere*
*shoves in trunk*
Lalalalala....*whistles*
What's new horz?
Pfft. I do my makeup like that everyday! I don't need no tutorial!
♥ ThreadKilla!
TwitterWhore
TwitterWhore2
Well fuckitall, I have to go and now I'm on day 3 of no desert story. Hmmmpft!
OK all, I'll check back with you horz later.
DD: I Am glad to help! LMAO
I sent them to all my friends, they are all laughing
Submitted by kdracofan on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:53pm.
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I wish you could hear me laugh/howl.
I'm finally doing what appears to be werk today - I'M RUNNING PHOTOCOPIES!!!! Everyone wants to know what's so funny about the copier.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:51pm.
You had me at me too. However, that is one good dessert story!
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Yeah, I'm not a dessert story tease like *some* people.
*prints four hundred copies on work printer and shoves in glove box*
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Stoney, well, I let him get on my lap. Fuck it. And at our house doors stay open for pee times, unless we have company over. You never know when a kid is going to lob a remote at the other or throw his brother off the top bunk.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:49pm.
God I sound like such a cat lady now.
*puts on muu muu*
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Well at least you won't be alone. You and M.E. have awesome cats.
Dina, the skinny female, crawled into an open dresser drawer this morning. Had to call the BH over to see it. She's kind of aggressive, though. If I'm asleep and she's hungry, she full on bites my hand, arm, stomach, whatever is exposed. One time she jumped in the shower while I was in it! Kuhrazy. She's a lover.
Ivan meows like a loon over the dog's food. The dog gets turkey and vegetables. The cat wants his turkey. Occassionally (sp) there are growls and pets have to be separated. Absolutely no fighting over food allowed at our house.
Stupid whore was saying THREE HOURS AGO that she would come back in here in two and tell the damn fucking story.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
DD!!!!
http://www.civicforums.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=57478&d=11...
DiamondD: I know its NOT THE ORIGINAL FOLDING ONE but look what I found!
http://www.civicforums.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=57478&d=11...
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:46pm.
You had me at me too. However, that is one good dessert story!
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:42pm.
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:38pm.
Event Horizon said there is some deviant sex story about her and a bunch of guys that takes place in the desert. She says it will "change the opinion" of her.
I don't see how that's really possible, but whatever.
She's been saying all week she will post it, but she keeps stalling
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LOL! i got it! a bunch of guys!? damn! um, i'm sorry EH is making everybody wait so long. i will as well read the story! now that you guys have mentioned it so much i can't miss it! it wouldn't be nice.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:46pm.
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:39pm.
I have a dessert story.
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Me too. I made this awesome cake from The Joy of Cooking that just about sent my entire family to the ER for insulin shots. And they aren't even diabetic.
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DAYUM. BAAAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA. My abs hurt. Er, belly fat.
God I sound like such a cat lady now.
*puts on muu muu*
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
DaimondD: I SO knew you were going to laugh! lmao
I will be looking for the Mickey Mouse one at home
Submitted by kdracofan on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:43pm.
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BAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'M GONNA PAPER THE ENTIRE CITY!!!!
EDited to add: STARTING WITH THE PARKING GARAGE AT 5:30PM. (thx gawd they don't have cameras installed there yet! lol)
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:40pm.
LOL I always try to shut the bathroom door but for some reason it doesn't latch right and my cat can headbutt it open. So there I am, peeing on the pot and he stands on his hind legs and wants a kiss. After that is the foot game where he rolls over on the bathmat, exposes his tummy and expects an obliging rub from my foot while I finish my business. He used to try to jump up in my lap but mama's not down with that shit, lol. There's only so much I can take! *wink*
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by JustJack on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:39pm.
I have a dessert story.
```
Me too. I made this awesome cake from The Joy of Cooking that just about sent my entire family to the ER for insulin shots. And they aren't even diabetic.
It's a variation of the Texas Sheetcake, but I can't remember what it is called. It's chocolate cake, then a layer of mini-marshmallows and pecans. You stick it back in the oven to melt the marshmallows.
Then, frost it with their chocolate satin frosting- which is basically brownie mix without the eggs.
Sooooo good!
oh hey great, I just clicked on the other Baby Smiley you tube videos. It's a veritable story board. This thing needs to host a show but perhaps start out with a cable show first to gauge public response.
I have the song Lean Like a Chola in my ipod.
This shit fascinates me too much then again any subculture does.. it's the Joseph Campbell inside me.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:41pm.
Haribo: La KooKoo/EH has been promising to tell us the world's grossest story for days now, but I'm beginning to think she's taking the piss
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ohhh!! dammit! i should've known 'desert story' had something to do with EH. sometimes i just can't guess! i need to read the posts more carefully.
or
http://youparklikeanasshole.com/notices/notice_2.pdf
LaCuca has 15 MINUTES to tell her effing story before I have to shove off. 3 days is enough of a wait, GD'it!!!
DIAMONDAWG: LMAO
CHECK THIS ONE OUT! Lmao
http://youparklikeanasshole.com/notices/notice_1.pdf
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:38pm.
Event Horizon said there is some deviant sex story about her and a bunch of guys that takes place in the desert. She says it will "change the opinion" of her.
I don't see how that's really possible, but whatever.
She's been saying all week she will post it, but she keeps stalling.
Haribo: La KooKoo/EH has been promising to tell us the world's grossest story for days now, but I'm beginning to think she's taking the piss.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
kdracofan!
That kitty looks like my Kenny as a baby!!!!!!!
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:31pm.
I think it's hysterical when cats get confused by leashes and end up being pullled on their tummies. I'm sorry, but cats are just hysterical in general. I came home yesterday and when straight to the bathroom to put my hair up and my cat was so mad I didn't pay attention to him that he jumped into the bathroom sink and screamed in my face. I LOLed for like five minutes.
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That's an awesome cat!
We had this chihuahua years ago. He had this horrible habit of sniffing other dogs poo and pee for what seemed like HOURS. I'd jangle his leash to make him move along, but he was a stubborn lil bulldog of a chihuahua. One time we were outside a convenience store in New Mexico and I just wanted to get him moving and he wouldn't so I just pulled. Just that moment a beer buying guy came out of the store and looked at us and said, "Taking your dog out for a DRAG?"
Yes, as soon as I get home my cat is all up in my cheerio's. Bitch knows as soon as I get home I change my clothes and go pee. He follows me in and jumps on my lap during pee times. If I ignore him, DAMN! I can hear him yelling at me from outside the door!
I have a dessert story.
what desert story!?? what is it that y'allz talkign about?? dammit! i need to catch up in here.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:15pm.
Ok. I entirely skipped the doggy thing because it makes me sick to death of animal abuse.
I just want to know...are you going to be able to stop it?
I think all you have to do is call Animal Control. They will give the owner a hella time. Can't you also call the police? I know they say they have no jurisdiction. Have someone call and leave an anonymous tip that they're selling drugs. Then when the police come, you take the dog.
I know you probably covered all of that, but if you haven't let me know. I'LL HANDLE IT. WHEREVER you are. All I need is a name and address. I will get every agency in the free world on that monster's azz.
Did you try PETA?? They have a reporting line for animal abuse. And everyone knows about the potential for retaliation toward the pet in question, so let me help you help this dog. It can't wait another day!
Ok so I went to rent He's Just Not That Into You on Friday night (bf was working) and they didn't have it, and I happened to mention it yesterday at the office and just now one of my coworkers handed me a burned copy! How nice is that? And he's a dood!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
DD you are welcome
Migraine: for you
http://abovethelaw.com/funny-pictures-kitten-wants-to-go-to-work-with-yo...
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:30pm
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Bad Speller.Bwahahahahahaha
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:30pm.
@ ME
Nope. No desert story. I don't believe there is one.
Maybe she's just a really bad speller who wanted to tell us about a great creme brulee she had.
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Even then, I'm sure it involved something deviant, like paying for the brulee with a BJ.
*boarding the short bus to hell*
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:31pm.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:14pm.
Alba is getting busted on the shark campaign trail. Her statement:
"Blah blah blah douche queef I misspoke belch it was taken out of context barf verbal diarrhea spooge."
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Does she do anything else everrrrrrr? (gotta run - see y'all later) work ughh!