Wednesday, June 10th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By A Chola Makeup Tutorial
Everybody needs to watch this video, take notes and pay close attention to everything Baby Smiley does! Homegirl speaks the truth! She's right when she says that if you don't put your eyeliner on hella thick, nobody will take you seriously! The "bitch eyebrow" test is also a very important. The gorgeous cholita look isn't only for riding around in an Impala while listening to oldies, it's also practical for the office. Think about it. The next time your boss tries to make you stay late, he will take one look at your Sharpie eyebrows and back down. Bitch may even give you a raise.
Baby Smiley covered almost every base, but she forgot to mention to stick razors in your hair and cover your neck with hickeys for the full effect!
(Thanks April)
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wow!
this was great, was it serious or intended as comedy?
she is a character, hot slut 4 sure!
now can we finally impose sterilization for those unfit to spawn? baby smiley, kendra wilkinson, octomom, the duggers. i am so against how china treats it's citizens but am down with population control.
you have to take a driving test to get a license, but only pre-requisite for getting preggers is a period!
Stoney
My cat would do the same thing. He DEMANDS a shout-out when I get home.
I think it's hysterical when cats get confused by leashes and end up being pullled on their tummies. I'm sorry, but cats are just hysterical in general. I came home yesterday and when straight to the bathroom to put my hair up and my cat was so mad I didn't pay attention to him that he jumped into the bathroom sink and screamed in my face. I LOLed for like five minutes.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:14pm.
Alba is getting busted on the shark campaign trail. Her statement:
"Blah blah blah douche queef I misspoke belch it was taken out of context barf verbal diarrhea spooge."
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
Submitted by kdracofan on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:27pm.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/56/120102102_3e90b97cd1.jpg
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omg. what kind of maladjusted person wrote that note?? hilarious. thanks for sharing!
@ ME
Nope. No desert story. I don't believe there is one.
Maybe she's just a really bad speller who wanted to tell us about a great creme brulee she had.
DD: I found them in my cousin's car years ago...lol
I will look for them and I will let you know when I post them
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:10pm.
i am right now checking it out! LMAO! thanx!!
ha ha!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwqSmNRXYVU
Submitted by kdracofan on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:19pm.
DD I STILL HAVE ONE of those Mickey Mouse NoTES! lmao
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ZOMG!!! YOu must post it on the internetz so we can copy it. Can you please do that? I want them again!! Photobucket it! And dayum, that's like an artifact or a relic. They're from the 80's!!
The video was funny until the end--then the bitch kind of scared me!
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/56/120102102_3e90b97cd1.jpg
So yesterday someone told me my cat was going to HATE IT if I put him in a harness and on a leash.
I want to say to that person: YOU WERE RIGHT!!
Only, he didn't really hate as much as he was very confused by it. He crawled on his belly - like that spider crawl soldiers do in combat with rifle in hands. Ivan crawled on the grass on his belly not quite knowing what to do. The great thing is that I let him get close to the wall and he actually jumped over it. I was the idiot that allowed that to happen. Had to holler to the BH to go around the back to pick him up cuz I sure wasn't going to try to pull him up like a helicopter. There was one time when he got dragged on the grass. It was entirely SAFE and funny. I brought him back in after 15 minutes and then he wanted to go back out, so we did it again. I think overall he liked it. I'm so happy he can safely go outside.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:15pm.
no probz! and right on! although watch out cos if the asshole beats up his dog he might be capable of hurting people as well.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:14pm.
Fuck that is extremely disappointing. I really REALLY wanted her to call everyone idiots who don't care about endangered animals. Dammit.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
M>E> from Stoney..
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:50pm.
DD:
Bathroom horror stories, errant female stream, passive aggressive note leavers, Ped Eggs, foot hygiene, and ricki popped in and was a random cunt again. No desert story, yet.
DD & Stoney - Funny Parking notes:
http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_430xN.57295585.jpg
*peeks in*
Desert Story?
DD I STILL HAVE ONE of those Mickey Mouse NoTES! lmao
LOL KD, I have a chart, a FLOW chart LMAO ;p
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:11pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:06pm.
Oh, that is so awesome! Never heard of them! Although 5 x 4 isn't quite big enough to be humiliating the way I like it, lol.
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Have you been to FOUNDMAGAZINE.com? Surely you have cuz I heard about it here. Funny found notes.
I used to leave mean notes for my neighbor but I got in trouble for it so I don't do that anymore.
I went to the optometrist yesterday to get my yearly exam (like a pelvic, only worse). So I'm nervous as heck cuz my eyesight is poor and I'm always worried they're going to tell me its gotten worse. So I'm chattin' up the doc who is about 10 years younger than me. I ask him where he matriculated and he starts to tell me about optometry school. All I want to know is where he went UNDERGRAD and he says, "USC." I say, "oh, my sister got her m.a. from there." Then he starts doing the lense flippy thing. I tell him I grew up in So. Cal. He asks me where I went to college. I tell him. He says "wow. that's a good school." I say, "yeah." He say's "What was your major?" I say "English Literature." He says, "Oh, are you a teacher?" I say, "No. I'm a LOSER." He laughs. That was it. He didn't ask me what I really do. I guess he believed me.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:52pm.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:50pm.
Wow. That really made me want to dry heave.
My ex would leave never cut his f-ing toenails and he thought it was really funny to try and touch me with them when we were going to sleep. I would be practically out of the bed trying to avoid his vampire claws.
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LMAO! i am trying to refrain myself from laughing over here (don't want my folks to think i am crazy)but i am failing miserably.
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:02pm.
Why thank you *blushes*
The only reason I'm not scared of this trick is because if he touches me, not only Canadian law will fuck his shit up..Argentina too. Furthermore he will be judge twice as hard for attacking a mentally disabled person. (That's what I am recognized as by Argentine judges, I'm not really crazy, just unable to work according to them due to labor stress or some BS like that).
So he shouldn't try and fuck around much.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Alba is getting busted on the shark campaign trail. Her statement:
"I got involved in something I should have had no part of," Alba said. "I realize that I should have used better judgment, and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident."
As a matter of fact, I left a note on this green mustang in my parking lot the other day who has had parking trouble in the past and it said "Oops you did it again! You still don't know how to park!"
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by KD on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:55pm.
I'm just a little bit in awe that some of you regularly keep tabs on the direction of your "streams".
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We have streams??? A doctor told me to watch my streams...if it's yellow...it's all mellow... *painting on my chola eyebrows*
donn fuck wiff my stream beesh!
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"this fucker doesn't even fit!!" ~Toonkinstein
Submitted by DiamondDawg on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:06pm.
Oh, that is so awesome! Never heard of them! Although 5 x 4 isn't quite big enough to be humiliating the way I like it, lol.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Master Blaster on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:53pm.
I appreciate the foot feedback.
Women will definitely judge you by your shoes, but I had no idea what their thoughts were concerning a dude's feet. You always see hotties walking around with guys in sandals, with webbing in between their toes and nails kicking up sparks on the sidewalk and wonder if all your efforts were futile.
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Oh that's because either those guys are rich or the girls are hookers.
Ok. Dumb story time. brb
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 3:08pm.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:48pm.
yes, menz need to take care of their feetz too, please
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LMAO! i love it when y'allz talk like that...makes me laugh so hard...but then again english is my umm, let's say 3rd language so...i am learning all the time...i hope i won't say 'menz' and 'feetz' while having a formal convo :)
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A good place to pick up new phrases and spellings is LOLCATS.COM
I like the one where the cat says "OH HAI"
Right back at ya, DD! RAD!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:48pm.
yes, menz need to take care of their feetz too, please
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LMAO! i love it when y'allz talk like that...makes me laugh so hard...but then again english is my umm, let's say 3rd language so...i am learning all the time...i hope i won't say 'menz' and 'feetz' while having a formal convo :)
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:47pm.
I'm a serial note leaver when people don't park right. It's a huge pet peeve of mine. The worst is when people insist on backing in their huge fucking SUVs and leave half the car hanging out and the other half over the line. Learn how to park you inconsiderate fckfaced planet killer! Yes, that's a common version of the stoney note.
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Did you ever see those notes with Mickey Mouse on them? This guy I worked with at a music publishing place waaaaaaaay back in the 80's gave me one and what you do is you make a hundred copies of them (they were about 5x4 inches) and leave them in your glove box. You pull one out and leave on offending car when you need to. The note had a big picture of Mickey Mouse on the left side giving a HUGE F-you with his left hand. On the right side it had a picture of a half-opened tuna can and a word bubble that said, "NEXT TIME LEAVE A FCKING CAN OPENER SO I CAN GET OUT A$$HOLE"
(i'm at werk so i can't type it out exactly how it was).
Maybe those notes still exist? If not, WE NEED TO BRING THEM BACK!
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:52pm.
poor pooch :( i am so angry when i hear stories about abused animals, you have no idea! i'd kill mofos if witnessed something like that.
and i gotta say you got balls for doing all this. not everyone would go for it. people usually fear bastards like your neighbor. i hope you get him evicted soon and get his pooch! that poor doggie needs good people to take care of him. he must be one unhappy pooch :(
good luck with it all! i am keeping my fingers and toes crossed.
what a lovely trip down memory lane.... felt like I was right back in Santa Ana, man.... you got dat beesh??? hella right...
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:52pm.
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You're telling me. We went to the beach on our first outing and I was walking through the sand thinking, "how the hell can a man this good looking have feet that look like a gnarled fucking HOBBIT?"
But it turned out to not be a dealbreaker since we've been together ten years.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:50pm.
DD:
Bathroom horror stories, errant female stream, passive aggressive note leavers, Ped Eggs, foot hygiene, and ricki popped in and was a random cunt again. No desert story, yet.
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LOL. You're so bitchin! (as in, awesome!)
I'm just a little bit in awe that some of you regularly keep tabs on the direction of your "streams".
OMG. This video has changed my world. (and now I know why no one takes me seriously!)
Um, looks down at girly parts....I've been shaving since 18 and, well, have no idea if that changed the direction of my stream.
Should I be concerned!?!??
So, BH got off work early today and guess what?!?!? HE PICKED BOTH KIDS UP FROM SCHOOL AND DAYCARE EARLY!!!!
Holy shit! Miracles do happen.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:38pm.
so do i that's why i come on here :) a day without dlisted ain't complete.
I appreciate the foot feedback.
Women will definitely judge you by your shoes, but I had no idea what their thoughts were concerning a dude's feet. You always see hotties walking around with guys in sandals, with webbing in between their toes and nails kicking up sparks on the sidewalk and wonder if all your efforts were futile.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:50pm.
Wow. That really made me want to dry heave.
My ex would leave never cut his f-ing toenails and he thought it was really funny to try and touch me with them when we were going to sleep. I would be practically out of the bed trying to avoid his vampire claws.
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:43pm.
Yes he beat him so hard we were in the room (living room in the middle) and we could hear the thuds against the poor pooch.
We are building our case about the rescue thing. Now the dog is not there, his gf took him. But we have ton of pictures of the doggie alone locked out and I have my camcorder ready so as soon as the doggie is back I'll have video too.
SPCA won't have a choice but to rescue the pup. And THEN I'll do all I can to adopt him. In the meantime bitch is gonna get evicted, for the life of me HE WILL GET FUCKING EVICTED. Asshat.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Submitted by Zanna on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:28pm.
Let's face it. People are disgusting.
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This just in TODAY from my 13 year old neighbor.
"We have people in Tucson, but we do NOT have HUMANS." --P. K.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:47pm.
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AMEN! Don't buy it if you can't drive it, asswipe!
Lol @ "eyebrowns"
DD:
Bathroom horror stories, errant female stream, passive aggressive note leavers, Ped Eggs, foot hygiene, and ricki popped in and was a random cunt again. No desert story, yet.
=D
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
My husband has very smooth feet but other than that, it's WTF City. I can fit my big toe in the space between his big toe and the next one. They're shaped like scuba flippers. He only has 9 toenails- one of his pinky toenails never grew in. And they aren't all on the same plane- some joints are further back than others, giving them a woven-toe look. It's totally bizarre. And when he wears socks, they look almost completely square. Like he has a Kunta Kinte club foot.