Wednesday, June 10th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By A Chola Makeup Tutorial
Everybody needs to watch this video, take notes and pay close attention to everything Baby Smiley does! Homegirl speaks the truth! She's right when she says that if you don't put your eyeliner on hella thick, nobody will take you seriously! The "bitch eyebrow" test is also a very important. The gorgeous cholita look isn't only for riding around in an Impala while listening to oldies, it's also practical for the office. Think about it. The next time your boss tries to make you stay late, he will take one look at your Sharpie eyebrows and back down. Bitch may even give you a raise.
Baby Smiley covered almost every base, but she forgot to mention to stick razors in your hair and cover your neck with hickeys for the full effect!
(Thanks April)
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Submitted by Bunny Rabbit on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:20pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:11pm.
I'm sorry but there is nothing worse than walking into a public restroom where a ton of bitches have been squatting over the toilet and the floor and seat is covered in beer piss. If you hover after those bitches then your pee could potentially splash off of theirs and shoot right into your taco slot! Isn't it a lot more sanitary for the first bitch to sit on the clean seat, then the secon bitch gets to sit and so forth?
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I agree with you Stoney. I don't have anything against the hover, but come on bitches, you have no excuse leaving the bathroom filthy like that. Every time i see errant pee in the women's bathroom, I feel very homicidal. You have to watch out to make sure you aren't stepping in piss as well. Fucking whores, clean your filth up. Won't take more than a minute.
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Its due to a lack of consideration for the fact that we live in communitites.
You wont see this in Japan. They are 100% concious of the fact that there are lots and lots of people using the same spaces they are.
You wont even see water on the vanity in bathrooms in Japan. It's just rude and unacceptable to make a mess and not clean it up. They would be embarassed to leave a mess behind.
A little more shame and a little more pride would be helpful. Ok, a lot more.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ZOMG#!@#$!@$#!#!@# TEH DESSERT STORIE@!#!$#!$%@!#@$ WE HAFS TO HEER DA DESSERTEW SOTRIEY!@#!@#@!#!$#@
Ugh.
So in conclusion: Hover when you have to, but wipe up your pee if you spill and the bathroom was clean to begin with. And for God's sake GET A DAMN PEDEGG ALREADY!
Submitted by Trini on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:11pm.
@ Haribo--- I totally questioned my freindship with this chick. But then I realized that was stupid, I shouldn't question, just because she doesn't hover and is okay with sitting on someone else' pee. yeah she still cool, you know even if she's FUCKING DISGUSTING.
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LMAO! of course you shouldn't question the friendship! some people are disgusting but when they're good friends that is all that matters.
You know what kills me..they do that here at WORK. I had to make a sign and tape it to the back of the fucking stall that said:
IF YOU SPRINKLE WHILE YOU TINKLE, PLEASE BE NEAT AND WIPE THE SEAT.
Complete with a picture of grass with dew all over it to make my point. But no.
It's bad when the maintenance people tell you the men's room is SO MUCH cleaner than the ladie's room. You have to wonder what these bitch's bathrooms look like at home.
I love her pudgy face with two lil beady eyes and all that neck meat , enough to make Kimora jealous
Submitted by Mysmichelle on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:21pm.
So Miss California got fired today?
yep. oh ive been waiting for this thread to be posted, O IVE BEEN WAITIN... >: /
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
The chola in the video is la cuca, right?
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:15pm.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:10pm.
lol...sorry about the 3 questions but i had to ask!
It's all good I have more than enough time to read and reply and then some.
Snowy, last night the bitch came to his house and took the dog with her because he claimed to be going on a road trip for a couple days. Needless to say..the asshole is right there right now blasting his ghetto ass vibrating my fucking floor u.u
Sorry if that's offensive to anyone, I hate this trick
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
ISMU, yes to moisturizing after. I use Vaseline Petroleum Jelly Cream (or the WM Equate brand), it's not slippery or smelly & then I wear ped socks while I'm drying my hair.
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She's flat and that's that!
I have had to duck into the men's loo a time or two when the women's was occupied. I was dismayed to find that the men's are often CLEANER than ours! Women can be filthy disgusting pigs in the bathroom I am sad to say.
So Miss California got fired today?
Submitted by AttentionWhore on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:12pm.
"Submitted by lizzieb on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:03pm.
....We don't have Cholas in the UK. Our loss I fear"
Hey lizzieb,
UK Essex Girls are the equivilent of US Cholas :D
Maybe, but I think the chola wins the make up wars. Essex girls might win on the tracky bottoms, bling and assorted baby daddies tho;- hmm tough call.
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Morbidly obese, barren, jellus h8er, jen-hen at your service.
@ Master Blaster...
follow up that Ped-egg routine with Philosophy "Sole Owner" and you will have feet people will want to put in their bu-gina.
we still haven't gotten the desert story yet?
i wonder how elaborate EH wants it to be.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:11pm.
I'm sorry but there is nothing worse than walking into a public restroom where a ton of bitches have been squatting over the toilet and the floor and seat is covered in beer piss. If you hover after those bitches then your pee could potentially splash off of theirs and shoot right into your taco slot! Isn't it a lot more sanitary for the first bitch to sit on the clean seat, then the secon bitch gets to sit and so forth?
------------------------------------------
I agree with you Stoney. I don't have anything against the hover, but come on bitches, you have no excuse leaving the bathroom filthy like that. Every time i see errant pee in the women's bathroom, I feel very homicidal. You have to watch out to make sure you aren't stepping in piss as well. Fucking whores, clean your filth up. Won't take more than a minute.
1. TRINI SPEAKETH THE TRUTH.
2. The gorgeous cholita look isn't only for riding around in an Impala while listening to oldies......
I LOVE YOU MICHAEL K YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!
I know trini, I hover when I have to, but it pisses me off!
=)
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
I have yet to hear of someone dying from sitting on a toilet seat.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:11pm.
I'm sorry but there is nothing worse than walking into a public restroom where a ton of bitches have been squatting over the toilet and the floor and seat is covered in beer piss. If you hover after those bitches then your pee could potentially splash off of theirs and shoot right into your taco slot! Isn't it a lot more sanitary for the first bitch to sit on the clean seat, then the secon bitch gets to sit and so forth? That way we're only sharing butt cheek germs instead of urine soaked splash times? That is way grosser to me. And like I want to walk in and wipe up fifty drunk whores' piss before I hover! Sometimes I can't wait that long when I'm drinking! /end rant
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Lol you make a very valid point. But the problem lies when the first bitch doesn't wipe the seat, then bitches after her aren't gonna wipe her pee and that's when hovering comes into place...it's a cycle.
Submitted by No Words
PedEggs are awesome...they are the only things to fix my husband's gnarly feet...but they are soft enough for mine, too.
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ITA, PedEggs are awesome! As a runner, I get crazy blisters and stuff but I like to wear flip flops in the summer. I don't want to be one of those guys sporting totally busted feet because that shit is gross and says a lot about you (this goes for women too!). But I'm also too much of a dude to go into a salon and let some little asian woman fix me up while I'm sitting in front of this big ass window next to a couple of tween girls talking about boys. That ain't going to happen. It's great for basic foot maintenance so people won't scream when I take off my shoes.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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Submitted by Haribo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:14pm.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:10pm.
'I had to spend 12 days at this ..em..institution and I went poo poo times when they released me. AT HOME.'
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how could you not poo for 12 days!? did you hold it in? you know that ain't healthy?
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Oh I KNOW! It wasn't purely intentional. Most hypnotics/sedatives/antipsychotics will cause constipation, but there is also the fact of mentally disabled/completely out of this planet people opening the door on you, or the fact that they can't aim for the life of them (I feel for them really). I wasn't nearly as fucked, it was just a bad times story. But I bet that in my situation most people would have done the same.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Honestly, studies show that the cleanest place in a publie bathroom is the toilet seat...UNLESS THERE ARE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE HOVERING! Stop it, sluts!
(tee hee)
ISMU: you need those little cotton sox, you know the ones you put on after you moisturize?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Desert Story, yet?
Boob3rries: any news on the puppy next door?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
I think I need to get a PedEgg for my boyfriend. He lets the calluses on his feet build up until he can actually cut them off with a razor blade. It's horrifying.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
I also open doors and flush toilets with my elbows and feet.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
"fuck you up fool"
No circles. They just still look all dry and it's grossing me OUT! But maybe I have to moisturize afterward? I'm one of those gimpy bitches that forgets I have lotion on and almost breaks a damn hip doing a triple toe loop after slipping on the linoleum.
Submitted by AttentionWhore on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:12pm.
"Submitted by lizzieb on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:03pm.
....We don't have Cholas in the UK. Our loss I fear"
Hey lizzieb,
UK Essex Girls are the equivilent of US Cholas :D
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True.
We have Vicky-Pollard-style girls, so we should't complain, hahhaha :D
shredded feet skin and splashing other people's pee into your taco slot....anyone wanna get some lunch?
:P
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:10pm.
lol...sorry about the 3 questions but i had to ask!
I want a PedEgg and hubby want buy me one cause he says I am too obsessed with smooothness and will scrub to the bone if I have to. He a nutty, that ain't true U.U
Public toilets....ew.
My momma taught me the balancing act, however I am SO scared of germs there is not a chance in hell I will use one. Ever. If I know I'm gonna be out for a long time I barely drink anything I will NOT expose myself in any kind of situation that requires a toilet bafroom. And Poo times? Public or not, unless it's at home it ain't happening. I had to spend 12 days at this ..em..institution and I went poo poo times when they released me. AT HOME.
Yeah the crazy not just a cute label.
EDIT hubby does my feet every Saturday afternoon after lunch. Two hours or more each time. Ends up with a nice massage. No I don't have him trained. Some people will say I got him made.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
I own a lot of MAC makeup, including the Fluidline stuff she uses on her eyebrows.
*hangs head in shame*
I swear I NEVER do my makeup like a chola! NEVER!
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
whats the word hookers
_____________________________________________
Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by Boob3rries on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:10pm.
'I had to spend 12 days at this ..em..institution and I went poo poo times when they released me. AT HOME.'
___________________
how could you not poo for 12 days!? did you hold it in? you know that ain't healthy?
Submitted by Migraine Sally on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:05pm
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That sounds like hell.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 1:52pm.
So I'm using a PedEgg for the first time and am afraid I'm going to grate off a bunch of the skin I need.
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PedEggs are heaven sent. I swear, they are the best thing ever, and they've saved me a shitload of cash because I don't have to go the nail place that much anymore. They used to scare me too, until my mother got me one after she went to a nail salon and they were using it on their clients. They only look like a cheese grater, but trust me, they are not sharp or dangerous. If you run your hand over it, you'll see what i mean. Also, I use mine on my feet after I've showered--gives better results. It doesn't hurt at all, there's no chance of blood loss and it gets the job done.
ISMU, I also keep my feet over my small bathroom wastebasket to catch anything (yuck).
Do the trouser sock test. In the winter, my feet are so dry, they snag when I put my socks on. Ever since pedegg, no more snagging. Fuck, I love it.
You're not going in a circular motion are you?
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She's flat and that's that!
"Submitted by lizzieb on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:03pm.
....We don't have Cholas in the UK. Our loss I fear"
Hey lizzieb,
UK Essex Girls are the equivilent of US Cholas :D
I sit on toilet seats too. Unless they are like really nast or look like they haven't been cleaned in quite a while.
I'm sorry but there is nothing worse than walking into a public restroom where a ton of bitches have been squatting over the toilet and the floor and seat is covered in beer piss. If you hover after those bitches then your pee could potentially splash off of theirs and shoot right into your taco slot! Isn't it a lot more sanitary for the first bitch to sit on the clean seat, then the secon bitch gets to sit and so forth? That way we're only sharing butt cheek germs instead of urine soaked splash times? That is way grosser to me. And like I want to walk in and wipe up fifty drunk whores' piss before I hover! Sometimes I can't wait that long when I'm drinking! /end rant
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
@ Haribo--- I totally questioned my freindship with this chick. But then I realized that was stupid, I shouldn't question, just because she doesn't hover and is okay with sitting on someone else' pee. yeah she still cool, you know even if she's FUCKING DISGUSTING.
Ch ch ch ch charmin'!
(suitable for both the vid and your public loo stories)
Hehehheheeee!
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:07pm.
If you are gonna squat or "hover" the trick is to lift up the seat (with your foot) so you don't have to be so exact.
hahahahah FReeee it's so true about the brazilian!!!!! you lose aim, hahahahhaha
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I'm SO glad to know I'm not the only one that happened to. I was fighting with my boyfriend over that - I was blaming him, he was blaming me - IT WAS ME!!! I couldn't believe it.
Submitted by Trini on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:03pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:00pm.
Trini - I don't touch ANYTHING in a public rest room. Walk into stall, get some toilet paper, turn around and close and lock stall door, hover over seat, do my bizness, wipe, flush with foot, use more TP to unlock and open stall door, use paper towell to turn H20 on, wash, dry.
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Lol i do the same shit, i use my foot to flush, then i take toilet paper to open the tap, once that's done, I use my elbow to get paper towels from the dispenser shit (thank jeebus for those sensor ones). i use those same paper towels to open the door.
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LOL! i totally understand that!
Congrats, Stan Hooper! When's the blessed event?
"who cares about that thing they call the ozone layer, i mean we have to like ese 15 more"
bawahahahahahahaaa
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:04pm.
@ Trini - I used to only hover, but when I went brazilian I found that the aim factor changed. I no longer go brazilian so I sometimes hover, but usually I wipe the seat with TP in case there is errant pee, then use a seat cover. That's for clean public bathrooms. Too much smell or anything and I totally hover.
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Hhhmmm interesting. I will NEVER get a Brazilian, so I can't even test this out. Right now my aim is pretty much dead on...unless I'm high or drunk.