Wednesday, June 10th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By A Chola Makeup Tutorial
Everybody needs to watch this video, take notes and pay close attention to everything Baby Smiley does! Homegirl speaks the truth! She's right when she says that if you don't put your eyeliner on hella thick, nobody will take you seriously! The "bitch eyebrow" test is also a very important. The gorgeous cholita look isn't only for riding around in an Impala while listening to oldies, it's also practical for the office. Think about it. The next time your boss tries to make you stay late, he will take one look at your Sharpie eyebrows and back down. Bitch may even give you a raise.
Baby Smiley covered almost every base, but she forgot to mention to stick razors in your hair and cover your neck with hickeys for the full effect!
(Thanks April)
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Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:06pm.
freebird: I got a new bra last night, too! Mr. Hekki stopped at Victoria's Secret and brought home a bra that was too small with armor cups. (He knows that I don't like my erect nips on display). I'm BFing and my boobs are abundant now.
Bless him for trying, though.
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He went sensible bra shopping without you??? That man is a saint! Did he pick up tamps and maxis, too???? Srsly, I need my armor cups too, girl!!
she totally effs up one of her eyebrowns.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Flatsy- I'm using the shit out of it but I don't feel like they're smoothing out. I just feel like I have a bunch of fucking foot ash all over myself.
hahahaha The bitch just poke her Eye with the sharpie! LOLOLOLOLO
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
You know, esse, if you want people to take you all for serious and shit, you gots to be a stereotype. I bullshit you not, holmes. You gots to live down to your gansta roots, fo' sho'. All that speaking proper english and shit is for suckas. I know I'm keeping real when I can't even get a job at Kinkos.
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Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
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If you are gonna squat or "hover" the trick is to lift up the seat (with your foot) so you don't have to be so exact.
hahahahah FReeee it's so true about the brazilian!!!!! you lose aim, hahahahhaha
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
oops, before somebody gets offended...i didn't mean to offend anybody with what i said (about sitting on a public toilet).
ISMU, I LOVE my pedegg. It doesn't hurt your feet at all, but sometimes my hands hurt from the repetive motion.
BTW - I always use it after showering and then lots of moisturizer. Love it!!
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She's flat and that's that!
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:02pm.
Trini: I always put a liner of toilet paper on it and sit down.
If there's pee on the seat, I wipe it off and then put my layer of paper down.
If I hover, I don't feel relaxed enough to get all the pee out.
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I know what you mean, but I don't wanna be wiping someone else' pee. Plus i always think hovering is helping my thighs, that's how I justify my hover.
LOL! This chola almost made me fart with laughter when the stupid bitch hit her eye with the eye pencil. hahaha.
Hey, I'm preggo. I'm full of gas..
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
freebird: I got a new bra last night, too! Mr. Hekki stopped at Victoria's Secret and brought home a bra that was too small with armor cups. (He knows that I don't like my erect nips on display). I'm BFing and my boobs are abundant now.
Bless him for trying, though.
OK, here was MY morning. I had to go to an "event". First thing in the morning. Ugghh!!
Kiss his ass
Kiss her ass
Kiss my ass
Kiss their ass
Stand in line for coffee
Kiss his ass, then hers, then theirs
Kiss my ass
Speaker
Golf claps
Turn around and kiss the ass of the person to your left
Speaker
Golf claps
Fan self with program
Kiss ass of person to my right
Speaker
Kiss ass of the mayor and city council peeps
Speaker
Ribbon cutting
I use my baked clay coral-reefy-textured thing. If I've been lazy about taking care of my feet, though, it can take some 'elbow grease.'
Submitted by Trini on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 1:58pm.
nobody in their right mind sits on a public toilet IMHO.
is that the same chick from the open post from last week with the twilight release?
Excuse MY BEAUTY!
BEYOND hot.
take note A list celebs , THIS is how its done!
"You ARE a whore,darlin"- Cristal Conners, Showgirls
@ Trini - I used to only hover, but when I went brazilian I found that the aim factor changed. I no longer go brazilian so I sometimes hover, but usually I wipe the seat with TP in case there is errant pee, then use a seat cover. That's for clean public bathrooms. Too much smell or anything and I totally hover.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:00pm.
Trini - I don't touch ANYTHING in a public rest room. Walk into stall, get some toilet paper, turn around and close and lock stall door, hover over seat, do my bizness, wipe, flush with foot, use more TP to unlock and open stall door, use paper towell to turn H20 on, wash, dry.
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Lol i do the same shit, i use my foot to flush, then i take toilet paper to open the tap, once that's done, I use my elbow to get paper towels from the dispenser shit (thank jeebus for those sensor ones). i use those same paper towels to open the door.
I have a generic pedegg. *hides*
Yes, I will sit on a public toilet if it looks clean enough. It's just a couple butt cheeks, it's not like I'm grinding my vadge on the lid.
EDITED: WHY CAN'T I TYPE TODAY?
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Interesting. Eye browns? I assume that she would say 'eye yellows' if she was blonde. We don't have Cholas in the UK. Our loss I fear.
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Morbidly obese, barren, jellus h8er, jen-hen at your service.
I'm telling you they are not sharp enuf to cut your feet, I swear!
the shavings are NAST! but satisfying!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
Submitted by girl_cheese on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:01pm.
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Thanks for the tip. The Walmart where I shop just remodeled and a bitch can't find shit in there. Not that they had what I was looking for in the first place.
NAWWWWWH MY INTEERWEBZ CRASHED AAAARGH
there.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
There was a girl in high school that cut her foot on the toilet while trying to flush it with her foot in flip flops. Imagine that horror.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
Trini: I always put a liner of toilet paper on it and sit down.
If there's pee on the seat, I wipe it off and then put my layer of paper down.
If I hover, I don't feel relaxed enough to get all the pee out.
LMFAO JIM! ♥
snowy - she WAS saying eye BROWNs!
Baby Smiley -wtf.
That's the wrongest nick she could have!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 1:52pm.
So I'm using a PedEgg for the first time and am afraid I'm going to grate off a bunch of the skin I need.
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for real, that thing is just a mini-cheese grater.
Submitted by Trini on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 2:00pm.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 1:55pm.
I got a new bra last night. I love a good bra. My girls are so happy!
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Good bras are awesome! bad bras are the worst thing ever, i will take my bra off at work to relieve the annoyance of a bad bra...then I go home and set it aflame. i don't give a shit
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I've heard they're made to only last for a few months. I can see that. With the kind I like, they are never the same after one wash, but wearable for about 10. I have Ds so I need some support dammit!
baby smiley could play a psycho. hell, she wouldn't have to act at all!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 1:52pm.
So I'm using a PedEgg for the first time and am afraid I'm going to grate off a bunch of the skin I need.
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Those things scare me!
I've never used one, but you can't just grate away, I'd imagine. They look like they could shred off a few too many layers of skin if you get too excited.
Scrubby things, ISMU - try Target. That's where I go for all my gnarly feet needs.
On topic: I luvs dis beesh
There's a loon int he Angie and Brad post.
Y'all are kindly invited to join.
Trini - I don't touch ANYTHING in a public rest room. Walk into stall, get some toilet paper, turn around and close and lock stall door, hover over seat, do my bizness, wipe, flush with foot, use more TP to unlock and open stall door, use paper towell to turn H20 on, wash, dry.
If there is no discernable waste on a public toilet seat, I sit. If there is, I'll fucking hold it.
Submitted by freebird on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 1:55pm.
I got a new bra last night. I love a good bra. My girls are so happy!
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Good bras are awesome! bad bras are the worst thing ever, i will take my bra off at work to relieve the annoyance of a bad bra...then I go home and set it aflame. i don't give a shit
IS THERE ANY POSSIBLE WAY THAT 'BABY SMILELY' FUCKING FACE CAN GET ANY FATTER????
Grabbing a seat and waiting. Passing the flask to Stoney.
Trini: Team No Sitting on Public Toilets!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
*waits patiently*
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
ISMU: I want a PedEgg, too! Tell us if it's as good as the commercial says it is.
And speaking of the commercial, when they empty the PedEgg of its dead skin shavings, I gag. And I'm not even squeamish normally.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 1:57pm.
I always think my microplane looks like a pedegg. I haven't gotten drunk enough to try it on my feet.
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And then bake cookies with the heel zest? Mmmmmm.
Hahah thanks M.E
k so here my thing: Do bitches actually sit on public toilet seats?!?! I know I don't. But I was chilling with this chick over the weekend and we were in the bathroom together and she fucking sits on the gross ass toilet seat. i was like, do you do that all the time, and she says Yes. i thought it was widely known not to sit on toilet seats, you hover when you have to pee and you place toilet paper strategically, if god forbid you have to poo in a public bathroom. I'm not saying all toilet seats are horrible, but certainly the ones at clubs or tattoo shops lol. Am I right?? i was horrified, but then I got over it.
PedEggs are awesome...they are the only things to fix my husband's gnarly feet...but they are soft enough for mine, too.
I want one of the scrubby things my nail salon uses since I'm too poor a ho these days for their services but don't know where to find them.
I always think my microplane looks like a pedegg. I haven't gotten drunk enough to try it on my feet.
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You say potato, I say vodka!
ISMU: it's not that sharp.. I like the other part, the part that's like a nail file.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
*runs up panting*
WHERE'S EH? Where's the story?
LMAO that was awesome, I swear she was saying "eyebrown"
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"let me tell you something about my family WE ARE AS TIK AS TIEVES"
"its 1492!! Come on people!!!" provolone
I got a new bra last night. I love a good bra. My girls are so happy!