Alert The CDC! Wonky Is Single Again!
If you've got a penis, hide it in a bomb shelter or stick it in holy water, because Parasite Hilton is back on the prowl! Wonky's mutant vag will be howling for fresh dick tonight, because she is no longer infecting that d-bag who used to be on The Hills. Wonky's spokeswhore told People that the herpytale romance of our time is over!
"In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy."
Your genitals should have trembled after reading that, because they are scared. Hold them and tell them it's going to be alright.
As for Doug, at least he'll always have a piece of Wonky with him. When he looks down at his wart-covered wang and the nest Wonky's crotch crustaceans built in his pube bush, he will be reminded of the beautiful moments they shared together.
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what a perfect couple .if you want to be same as them plese join us sugarscupid.com
Submitted by I am just pretend on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 10:20am.
God this bitch goes through them doesn't she? She's like those girls who cannot live without a man. Sad *shakes head*
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She just cant live without cock...I dont think she gives a crap about the men she "dates".
God this bitch goes through them doesn't she? She's like those girls who cannot live without a man. Sad *shakes head*
The guy is really hot!
I met my perfect one on ----BlackWhiteMeet, C O M---- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
"Sucking the publicity cock" LMFAO!
Submitted by gia on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 8:31am.
She doesnt really date men, she just fucks them, she doesnt have boyfriends, she has fuck mates...I wish she would stop wanting people to think she is having emotional connections with these guys
You're just a jellus h8er, gia. She's so...deep...and that was really mean.
She doesnt really date men, she just fucks them, she doesnt have boyfriends, she has fuck mates...I wish she would stop wanting people to think she is having emotional connections with these guys.
Submitted by chefcammi on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 8:20pm.
anyone hear the story the page 6 writer told howard stern about Parasite?
No, please share.
Submitted by Aunt Bea on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 5:59pm.
I hope he had his shots
Is there anything effective against the virulent strain of Hilton herpes simplex?
Or just her general all around fucktardian nastiness?
I don't think the world is safe. And now there is yet one more known carrier of the plague she spreads from her diseased cavern betwixt her spider legs connected to her sasquatch feets?
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman to have sugar daddy??
It is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services came out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship.
such as ^-^ http://SugarDaddyChat.com/ ^-^
it's the biggest sugar dating site for beautiful woman and rich man!
i hate this fucking cunt. her 15 minutes were up 3 years ago.
TMZ says he only dated her for the publicity. And as an extra special parting gift just for playing, he got a whopping case of Herpamydia! Yes indeed, folks, the newest strain of designer STDs brought to you by Parisite Hilton!
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
Submitted by The C word on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 7:19am.
be sure to pack enough vodka, coffee liqueur and light cream.
pfft... that shit stays with me... "he's" on his own!!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 7:08am.
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Hope you made that express post, ESE...be sure to pack enough vodka, coffee liqueur and light cream.
;)
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Viper in the bosom.
*packing genitalia ever so gently in a box*.... *checking postage*... yep... Antarctica, here i come!!!
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"We play the game,
with the bravery of being out of range."
"As for Doug, at least he'll always have a piece of Wonky with him. When he looks down at his wart-covered wang and the nest Wonky's crotch crustaceans built in his pube bush, he will be reminded of the beautiful moments they shared together."
LMFAO! MK your brilliance has no end to it!!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Peach Pie---that exactly what I was going to post. Bitch please, respect? privacy? Do you think this shit for brains will get it that she is just an easy fuck for already herpes-infested Z listers?
"... and ask that you please respect their privacy."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Their PR folks surely MUST have them mixed up with someone else. "Respect" and "Privacy" are two words I have NEVER seen used in the same paragraph with Paris Hilton.
why she like that ?
Am I the only one that watched her spew her bullshit on the view not too long ago about how he was really "the one?"
Lock up your...well, um, everything. RED ALERT.
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Submitted by Sandbitch on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 8:06pm.
TMZ have a vid of poor Wonky all upset outside the the dumping place... *sniff*
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LOL! Outside the dumping place. Nice.
♥ ThreadKilla!
TwitterWhore
TwitterWhore2
Submitted by Hugh Heffrey on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 6:45pm.
I work for CDC. We've already sent a team to LA.
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Deo Gratias.Benedicite.Pax te.
Don't forget to send off for Lourdes water, and drink it after the team returns from LA. Just in case. Your avie is really cute.
Freak Speely,I was joking about annoyed with you. PLEASE excuse me for being rude. I was not, however,joking about Plague Hilton being Typhoid Mary. Perhaps we should call her Paris Petri Dish.
Another D-Lister(sorry, your screen name has escaped my memory at the moment)posted a warning months ago about a woman who died from a staph infection contracted at a nail salon.THANK YOU. After reading that and countless stories about drug-resistant diseases,it wouldn't surprise me at all if that woman is a carrier of a particularly nasty disease. Call me paranoid, but it is a medical fact that viruses mutate, and herpes is a virus.
In addition to nail salons, I should add that if hospitalized,try to avoid nurses with fingernails longer than the edge of the fingertips,or fingernails which look manicured. Insist that they double glove or get the fuck away. I'm speaking from unpleasant experience, not germ-phobia.
Due to her can't-be-fixed damaged reputation, I think she'll just end up a lonely old spinster with 50 chihuahuas instead of cats.
::And as God as my witness, I will never shampoo your hair again!" - Blanche Devereaux::
[*screams in Britney Internet fan dude voice*] LEAVE WONKY MCVALTREX ALONE!
Crotch crustaceans; that's hilarious. From what I'm reading, one of the reasons they broke up is she thinks he's dating her for the publicity. If that was the case, then this the probably the first time in her life that an attention whore like her was out attention-whored. She's been sucking the publicity cock for too long, and it's turned around & pumped a load onto her face. Maybe the ugly, stupid, self righteous, self centered, entitled brain addled, nasty ass slutty hooker will learn from this. Probably not, though...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
the spooge heimlich money shot
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006718/
Gosh, how many people is this b*tch going to date? Every day it's a new dude!
Submitted by Freak Speely on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 7:28pm.
Boy, she's losing relevance fast. Time to go full lesbo, Paris.
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Well,I'm quite offended, Mr. Freak Speely. Why would you wish Plague Hilton on the Sapphic Sisterhood?YOU ARE SUGGESTING GERM WARFARE!!!!! I'm worried about everyone who was in the nightclub-especially those who are employed to clean up the place after closing time.Plague Hilton is the Typhoid Mary of the 21rst century.
My mother is a public health nurse,and we had a rather funny exchnage when Petri Dish Hilton began dating Stavros Nicharos.(One of my nicknames for her is Big Mama Trojan because USC has been her favorite football team AND college band since she was 16.Luckily,I sat w/ my pals during the main graduation ceremony.Big Mama Trojan would have hit me for falling asleep.)
"Hey Mom, Paris Hilton is dating a Trojan."
"That young man should WEAR three trojans. He'll need them if he has sex with that slut." Pause.
"I hope security calls the county health department and has her removed from campus in a Hazmat bag.Oh my God, please tell me her new boyfriend isn't on the football team!This could ruin the season!"
Great jewelry in the picture. Everyone who said the "request for privacy" line is nonsense is right.Aside from MK's colorful posts, that's the funniest thing I've read about her since that HILARIOUS Vanity fair article.
Was this Paris' shortest relationship to date? IT lasted like a month IF THAT. Geez! Wonky needs a new schtick because her baby talk whorisms just ain't workin' on guys....well like they ever did...LOL!
"Nuzzle your succulent nose in my no-no. It will be safe there. Well, not really, because I had Mexican for lunch. SUCIO! There I go again." - MK
Wow I thought this one was forever.
But....I thought he was her best friend, the love of her life, and they were talking about marriage! *bursts into sobs*
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I don't know what you done to me but I know this much is true
I wanna do bad things with you
TRUE BLOOD starts this Sunday!!! WOO HOO!
Poor wonky mcvaltrex. I feel so bad for her... NOT! She's a disease; a total beatdown with baseball bats is the cure.
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"Uh, what's Walmart? Do they sell, like, wall stuff there?" - Wonky McValtrex
uuggghh...i just caught myself watching (well staring with mouth open at tv and eyes in continous 180 degree roll) her "my new bff" bullshit show...tonight its a sorority/hazing theme. what fucking 8 year old let alone 28 year old needs to beg and "audition" people to be their friend...definition of trash.
fuck using "green" cleaning products ...i'm on my way to the store for clorox and a face mask...this rank thing and that contaminated ex germs are far reaching and i don't want that shit in my house...
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
so many comments here, so little time, so I'll try to be brief...
what, so no more matchy matchy outfits?
"In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt..."--
a. someone actually cared enough to ask? uh huh., right.
b. who works the "paris hilton" journalist beat?
-an aspiring 8th grade writer for the daily spartan?
".. and ask that you please respect their privacy..." yeah, because they both HATE attention. leave them alone.
Submitted by MizRo on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 7:10pm.
LOVE ANDERSON: truer words never written.
Wouldn't it be ironic if he was dating her to stay in the public eye? If he was using HER?
Parisite has evil machinations behind everything SHE does: it would be delicious if he did too...
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Of course he's using her. I think the photo MK chose says it all.
She's going to feel pretty silly when she's 45 and still hitting the clubs and using childish acronyms like "BFF" and texting "I heart you, hugs <3" to every swinging dick within a fifty herpes radius.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Class is knowing when to put the Zima down.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
She's getting a bit long in the tooth to be living out her life in clubs with douchebags. My guess is that for all the gross PDA's, she isn't interested in sex or life without an audience, so the plea for privacy is a laugh and a half.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Doug Reinhardt is going to be busy changing his website, she was all over it. He's like a skeezier Ryan Reynolds.
Why is she still in the news? Is she inventing new STDs for the world?
LMAO @ lady shark
true true
PRIVACY + PARIS HILTON = DOES NOT COMPUTE
Christ, someone put her in quarantine, and alert the CDC cause I'm sure she's breeding some sort of mega strain of herpes or something.
LOL @ Tookin
@ Manimal: Love the avie lol
anyone hear the story the page 6 writer told howard stern about Parasite?
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
Welcome To Dlisted, Son!
My Son, born 5/28 @ 10lbs 15oz.
No kidding. Like this chick has ever wanted privacy. Haha. I can't wait for Brangelina to break up mainly because it will be hilarious to hear Angie "I talk to the media about everything from how I bathe, fuck, self-mutilate, to excruciating details about my poor children and all thoughts that most people consider private but I don't" Jolie ask for "privacy".
"and ask that you please respect their privacy."
And this comes from the couple who were pictured with Doug's fingers up Paris's cooch just last week in a club. Yeah fucking right, these two twats want privacy as much as Heidi and Spencer do.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
I doubt that Paris Hilton will ever get married. She is like public transportation - anyone can ride. and everyone hopes to get a nice new car for themselves, not one that everyone else has had a go with. The same holds true with women. No man wants a ho like Paris who's been with enough men to build a small army. They want a new or gently used car (or woman) to marry.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
Submitted by Tamzin on Wed, 06/10/2009 - 7:53pm.
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My sweet baby girl born 4-15-09
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Welcome Baby Girl.... :)
...Is it me, or is there a bit of a Baby Boom among the D Listers??? Me thinks we are getting fertilized with all the Octo-Mom and Gosselin stories..
M.K. - Time to put a condom on these topics...Woman are birthing all over this place!!!
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"this fucker doesn't even fit!!" ~Toonkinstein