Fishy Is One Of Those People
In the newest edition of Bowel Movement Weekly, Fishsticks Paltrow writes about a delightful cookie her good friends Katie Lee and William Joel - let's stop there. Yes, she called BILLY Joel "William." Ugh. Fishy totally calls Katie "Lady Katherine Lee," but decided that would be too much for us regular people to understand. Fishy probably calls everyone by their birth name. You know she calls her husband "Christopher Anthony." Christopher Anthony also has to greet her every time by gently kissing her hand while she curtsies. This bitch has been in way too many period pieces. It messed up her head.
And why is Fishsticks writing about cookies anyway? Out of all the things she could fuck with she chooses cookies! Only Fishsticks could make a cookie sound like a major asshole. "I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries – heaven." That cookie is a pretentious snob! If I tried to eat it, it would raise its chip at me. Good going, Fishy. You ruined cookies.
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I can understand calling him Bill instead of Billy, but William?! What the fuck. She defines the word pretentious. I don't "hate" her in any way, but she truly is pretentious & snobby.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 4:32pm.
You are on your game today! Hysterical!
those cookies sound good to me
You know...
I be TRYIN' to stand up for my girl Gwinny and all...I even GET Goop mailed to me...(I'm sorry, I LIKE IT)...
HOWEVA...when I read that "William" shit about "Billy Joel"...I was like...
See...Gwinny...THIS is why folks are always calling you a "cuntess", et al....WILLIAM??!? I mean...COME...THE...FUCK...ON!!!
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 3:58pm.
What do you want to bet that her husband "delights" in constantly shagging completely dumpy chicks who drink beer, eat burgers, buy their clothes at Walmart, and decorate their apartments with those plastic milk crates for bookshelves while he's on tour. I bet he has a spiteful grin on his face the whole time thinking about his Goopy Fishtsticks, picturing her back at home picking out new delightful dining room placemats in fresh summer colors.
I can't stop laughing at this, especially the bit about the 'spiteful grin' on his face. It's what I have always imagined too, that and him shuddering in horror as he reads comments like this on sites like these. I bet he gave up trying to post replies in her defense, using multiple names, long ago. Does anyone else think he married her because he lost a bet? Or does anyone have a better theory?
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Gravity. They even keep it on at the weekends.
Did "William" drive into the pool on his positively entertaining exit from the property?
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"I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries – heaven." That cookie is a pretentious snob! If I tried to eat it, it would raise its chip at me. Good going, Fishy. You ruined cookies.
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Trudat. That "contrast" is what ruins Black Forest Cake for me every time.
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im eating cookies as we speak. mmmmmm
I'm really concerend for her health, because she really puts effort into this pieces of shit articles that she writes and so I'm thinking that she takes it really seriously, being the guru of all thing posh and faux-Euro and all that. She and the other fake Euro bitch Madge should totally get lost in the Bronx. If they tried to enlighten some people up there they would totally get a cap in their noassatalls!
She must be pretentious as a joke, it's her way of making people laugh. She does know she's funny, right?!
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The summer before last? So she's writing about cookies she ate almost 3 years ago? What an idiot. Someone needs to send her some cookies spiked with chunks of dark chocolate ex-lax. However, she's so full of s*** that she needs at least a year's supply and who wants to waste all that money on her.
who really takes her seriously besides her?
Fishsticks would write about a pile of dog crap if she thought it would give her any attention.
Speaking of cookies, today I got some ex-Mother's Keebler circus cookies as a substitute for the kind I bought the last time--some other brand I can't remember the name of, that might also have had a circus theme but without the stupid gorilla.
And, comparatively, they suck. There's not nearly as much sugary coating on these as the others.
really?
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Oh I simply can. NOT.
i see miss greasy gams found that the 'goop' typically slathered all over her legs can also grease her cookie sheets. IN THIS ECONOMY even fishy has to scrimp.
and it's not like she even can eat this crap on that diet, which basically allows grain and raw carrots. she probably leaves it for the help.
What kills me is that you can't leave comments on her stupid site.
Lol @ september libra..I guess I got to live with it..
I bet Billy Joel said "Please... Call me William; all the best people do" as a joke and he secretly laughed at her all night, every time she did.
Bitch needs to die. She gives all good Libras a bad name. Of course, she doesn't really count, she's a September Libra.
'Cause if there's one thing that she don't like, it's getting gang-raped and her hair extensions swiped...in the ghetto.
I swear to dog, every time I read this blog I do it with one of those weird-ass elocution accents from the B/W days...you know, not American but not British either, and kinda long and drawn out...like Katherine Hepburn kinda but not quite so dramatic...
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William Joel is a fucking drunk. He was probably loaded at Fishy's dinner party. Lady Joel is a no-talent, boring cunt. She sucked at the host of Top Chef. Perpetually stoned, Padhma IndianHottie kicks ass as the host of Top CHef. Dark Chocolate & Cherries - ohhhh so avant garde!
Cunt is too nice a word for Fishy. Anyone know a more obnoxious word for her?
Sounds like just another day in my underpants.
@icedcoffee:
LOL. Yeah, bluebloods are like that. Oh, and I meant "Christopher" and not the dead-giveaway commoner-speak "Chris."
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
It gives me the major sads that Billy and Katie Lee are friends with Fishy. Barf. Katie Lee was on Paula Deen's show once and she seems really, really nice. I bought her cook book because of her apearance on Paula (Paula also wrote the forward in her book). The recipes are good. The grilled chipotle three cheese sandwich is the shit.... Dude, who the hell calls Billy Joel 'William'? What a pretentious bitch.
Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 years. I'm no dummy.
Billy, how could you hang out with Goopy??? I just lost all respect (and my lunch) with that info...Lord, will this pretentious turd just disappear...please....someone...bidding starts at .01...that is all she is worth too!
Submitted by fauve on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 4:56pm.
LMAO. But she must merely allude to the pecan lover, because they're very private people, you understand.
"William Joel"
Seriously, who the fuck does she think she is?
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Douchechill!
Cheers, thlayly5!
Can't you just see Billy Joel sneaking swigs off the Pernod, Pimms Cup, and port while the ladies chat about nothing and Chris sulks?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by icedcoffee on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 4:51pm.
I wonder who the "pecan lover" in the house is! Gasp! Blind item! Who in Goopy's house likes to fuck pecans?
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Gotta be Chris. He's been fucking that flat-assed nut for years.
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
Submitted by jim on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 3:51pm.
WHO GIVES A FUCK BITCH..I WENT TO MY BUDDY'S LAST WEEKEND WITH A 30 PACK OF NATURAL LIGHT I GOT FOR 11.99$ AND DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!
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L O fucking L
Seriously, the more I read about this rancid trout, the more I want to bitch-slap her mother for not bringing the dumb ho down to earth during her formative years, instead of building her up as "the next generation's Grace Kelly." They're both fucking out of their minds.
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For the love of all that is hairy, WHY DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THIS TWATWAFFLE??????? --Sugaroo
I wonder who the "pecan lover" in the house is! Gasp! Blind item! Who in Goopy's house likes to fuck pecans?
This woman makes me barf. What an overly pretentious cunt. I am hating all celebrities right now. Probably because they're rich and don't have a care in the world while I am on the brink of getting laid off.
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lol, Deb.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Her pretentious prune lips couldn't bare to utter the word "Billy.
Oh, the sad part is this as interesting as she gets. There's no there there with this one.
I will alwayz defend Gwynnie -- and Goop. I adore her. And she *has* mentioned other recipes -- and restaurants -- in Goop. It's kinda interesting. Face it, Michael K, if the recipe for Mother's Animal Crackers wasn't in the newsletter, you wouldn't be interested anyway. Snob:))
Edited from Fishy's original copy:
"Things were going swimmingly as we nibbled our baked treasures, until William having drunk two bottles of Pernod, decided to tickle the ivories."
"BOTTLE OF RED, BOTTLE OF WHITE,
A BOTTLE OF PILLS,
YOU'LL DIE TONIGHT!"
"We were all aghast as he vomited up the cookies and Pernod, then lost consciousness, knocking over all of our crystal framed family photos.
I may invite Katie Lee over for tea, but William is temporarily off my guest list."
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 4:20pm.
That was hilarious... have you seen the one with Jimmy Fallon when they were in the hot tub...! HAA!
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Yes, Jimmy could not stop laughing. That was funny. And it describes Paltrow so well.
;0
DG ~ COME TO OPEN POST!
At Coachella a few years back, the singer of Fantomas told the crowd that he wished he was backstage so he could fuck Gwyneth Paltrow up the ass like Chris Martin (Coldplay was headlining later in the night.) Everyone cheered like it was their collective birthday/they'd all won Powerball.
Why isn't this breatharian bitch dead already? Like she really ate the cookies. Please.
You know, if they held a lottery and the prize was to get to throw GP a beating, a ton of money could be raised. It could save this dang economy!
I saw that recipe on a cookie bake-off on the Food Network. It didn't win....
Submitted by neofavorr on Thu, 06/11/2009 - 4:15pm.
heeheeheeheehee
you could have just gone to the nestle site and downloaded their recipe eh?
*snicker*
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Gag me with a silver spoon, you pretentious cunt.
I was like "who the hell are Kathy Lee and William Joel?" LOL
bitch please, say BILLY JOEL and her bland gold digger and everyone will get who you're all talking about. I bet Billy HATES when people call him William.
Also, what is she doing eating cookies? I thought she ate no carbs and was stuck on microbiotic shit like feeder guppies, blood worms and shrimp pellets...you know, stuff fish actually eat.
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