Friday, June 12th 2009
Open Post: Hosted By Betty White
Jimmy Fallon got to play beer ping bong with Betty White last night! Not Benefiber ping pong, BEER ping pong. This just proves that Betty White is seriously the hottest bitch in the game. If my own abuelita wouldn't beat me with her chankla and tie me to a tree, I'd say I wished Betty White was my memaw.
Jimmy ended up winning the game, but that's just because Betty took pity on his ass.
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:28pm.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:24pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:20pm.
I don't think they have community college in the county of Whore in the city of Neurotic Psycopathic Cunt in the state of Delusional.
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No, but there is probably a Learning Annex.
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Does it offer on-line courses?
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You know it! Those things are a goldmine. People pay, but 85% don't finish.
@ISMU
I told my husband to propose to me. Yeah, I'm THAT whore. Or at least I was. *shrugs* Bitch was dragging his motherfuckin' feet!
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Haha! I think that's how most of my besties got propsed to. One got pregnant but he was gonna ask her anyway.
♥ ThreadKilla!
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I wanted to share this with everyone because I thought ,there are no words for the awesome of this....plus it makes me all cheery n stuff..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k
I vote all the folks on the vid as Hot Sluts of the Month..
If it was posted already..sorry.
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"Nothing can kill The Grimace!"
Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:28pm.
I think i'm gonna puke.
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Morning sickness or hungover?
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:26pm.
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:07pm.
I can't help you on this question.
Mr. Momus and I had been living together for about eight months.
One Sunday morning, February 22, 1981, he woke up and asked me if I had to work that day. I told him that I didn't. He asked me if I wanted to get married that day. We got up, got dressed, and drove to Stateline, Nevada, and got married that day.
Not much planning involved.
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Please make a movie about your relationship - - PLEASE! I love it!
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:21pm.
Okay now I want to tell my story too
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No, believe me, that was uber-romantic. Very nice story.
I love hearing everybody's "how we meet" stories. I have been married for almost 30 years, so I barely remember mine. (-:
Miss Jane: may I suggest eharmony??? JUST KIDDING don't do it, despite Boob3rries experience, guys you meet on line all turn out to be PSYCHO!
Guys in NYC have such attitude because they know they are in demand.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Momus, I love it!!!!
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I don't want to stop just because , people walking by or watching us
I don't give a damn what they think, I want you now
- Janet Jackson "Any Time, Any Place"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:27pm.
did you still get her the pretty ring though?
@Momus: AW! *dabs tear* That's so sweet:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
TwitterWhore
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:24pm.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:20pm.
I don't think they have community college in the county of Whore in the city of Neurotic Psycopathic Cunt in the state of Delusional.
```
No, but there is probably a Learning Annex.
========
Does it offer on-line courses?
************************************************
"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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I told my husband to propose to me. Yeah, I'm THAT whore. Or at least I was. *shrugs* Bitch was dragging his motherfuckin' feet!
I think i'm gonna puke.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:24pm.
Oh gosh, pregnant I think would be no problem for me. I have been having maternal feelings for the past few years. I'm making myself wait until I'm in my mid-thirties because of my job, but still...babies make me go all gooshy inside.
Except for celebrity babies, because I don't think celebrities should be allowed to produce offspring.
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Talking about relationships and stuff - here's one for ya - my wife proposed to me! It was the coolest thing that ever happened... took me totally by surprise. just thought i'd share... carry on.
@ kanderso - hahaha, my bestie can be slightly dramatic. Atleast the talking off the ledge included lots of wine drinking.
And absolutely do pre-marriage counseling. you will not regret it. they will ask you things you haven't thought of and could be potential newlywed landmines.
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
No probs, angel! I was feeling pretty sorry for myself there for a minute with all the damn engagement stories. You are not invited to comment on that, EH.
*wide eyes at boob* Wow!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:07pm.
I can't help you on this question.
Mr. Momus and I had been living together for about eight months.
One Sunday morning, February 22, 1981, he woke up and asked me if I had to work that day. I told him that I didn't. He asked me if I wanted to get married that day. We got up, got dressed, and drove to Stateline, Nevada, and got married that day.
Not much planning involved.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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I treasure my alone time too....one awesome thing about hanging with my guy is he can watch sports while I sit online....we are just near each other and don't need to be talking all the time...it is just comfortable.
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I don't want to stop just because , people walking by or watching us
I don't give a damn what they think, I want you now
- Janet Jackson "Any Time, Any Place"
Betty White is the greatest living individual on the planet. Unlike Denise Richards who is staring me in the face as I type this and scaring the shit out of me in the process.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:20pm.
I don't think they have community college in the county of Whore in the city of Neurotic Psycopathic Cunt in the state of Delusional.
```
No, but there is probably a Learning Annex.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:21pm.
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Cyber hooker with a heart of gold! The story is weirdly adorable ;)
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Kanderso - I didn't freak out at all when we got engaged, but then again, almost from the start of our relationship, we both knew, that we were the "one" for eachother. I can't explain it, but it's just a feeling. The getting pregnant part scared me much, much more. LOL
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:17pm.
EH: seriously, do they teach tact at the local community college? you might look into taking a class.
I don't even know if you realize how you come off but it's very offensive, even when you think you are being nice.
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HA! I was voted most tactful in a H.S. ROTC ceremony. I was really? me? These fuckers must really not know who I am!
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*I really want to give myself a paper cut right about now*
*Never buy anything from someone whos out of breath*
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:18pm.
Anybody go to a pre-marital counselor or anything like that? I've had friends recommend this type of thing but I'm worried it is going to be kind of hokey.
I have heard of people being required by their church to get premarriage counseling with the pastor. I can't see it as a BAD thing by any stretch. Hokey, maybe, but with good intentions it will only benefit you. Might be a great idea.
Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:21pm.
(he not a cowboy..but he's from Calgary..but...oh well)
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Hunny, if he's from Calgary, he's a cowboy:)
You guys are cool. I thought *I* had a weird life.
♥ ThreadKilla!
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29! sigh. I don't have the bride gene and am not maternal so I am not rushing anything. I have been single for 2 years but before that was in back to back relationships for 5 years. I now know exactly what I want and so refuse to settle. I am not picky on looks but there has to be physical chemistry. I don't have a type at all..I've dated every possible combination of guy...haha.
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Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
How goes the love fest?
EH, you wouldn't know happiness if it facefucked your gaping maw. You wouldn't be such an attention seeking twit if you WERE happy. And guess what? If you honestly think a man can make you happy, you're just plain wrong. Happy is an inside job. A dick can only make you HAPPIER.
Right, PSL?
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:17pm.
Oh Lord I hope I'm not that bad :)
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
LOL@Stoney!
That soothed my aching womb for a moment. Thanks:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
TwitterWhore
TwitterWhore2
Okay now I want to tell my story too =(
It's not like uber romantic unless you love Pretty Woman and that kinda shit.
I was a cyber whore. A XXX chat hostess. Because I tried to off myself and was battling anorexia all at the same time and when I came out of the hospital they put me on watch, locked me for 3 months at home and judge said OH NO WAY YOU CAN WORK and he decided I was insane and declared me disable. Legally, I cannot work (well couldn't down there) but it's just me and my momma (grandma) so rent and bills were still due.
Got a computer and whored myself out. Just so you have an idea 1 USD = 3.75 ARS right now, back then it was round 3.25. And I was getting paid close to 1.50 USD a minute. SO..yeah.
And hubby came lurking around like a horny teen and when everyone was asking for cooch, T&A, hubby said: May I please see your smile? ANd right then and there I fell like a lured fly to the light.
And he said: WELL AREN'T YOU THE PURDIEST LITTLE THING I EVER DID SEE (he not a cowboy..but he's from Calgary..but...oh well),
And then we continued on MSN and he asked me to quit 'performing' and he took care of bills and rent. He dressed up in his suit and before a crappy webcam he went on one knee and proposed. Met my whole family along the months came down to Argentina..married me..here I am. We got married Oct 23rd 2007.
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"Writing that made my eyeballs fart." MK
Support the cause, save a cunt http://www.fotolog.com/justmemyselfandi/36997877
Ima 'bout to snap.
Fucking laCuntaroachfucker....
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
The single life works for me too. I have always treasured my alone time. I am so set in my ways now that I cannot imagine having someone around all the time, even someone I love. Besides, a roommate or partner would probably not understand my MichaelK/Dlisted shrines throughout the house.
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Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory.
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:04pm.
Love your song/poem.
Just showed it to Mr. Momus.
He's running to the bathroom laughing.
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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I don't think they have community college in the county of Whore in the city of Neurotic Psycopathic Cunt in the state of Delusional.
_____________________________________________
CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
ELB - HAAAAHAAA!! choke her!
Miss Jane: yup, I do now but it took me a long time to find him and now I keep him even when he drives me NUTZ because I know what's out there! LOL
what type of guys do you like? how old are you (if I"m not being too much like EH asking that!)
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Submitted by Boob3rries on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:15pm.
True, true. Thanks :)
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:18pm.
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Be my guest, bubba.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by NaNoop on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:03pm.
I walked by him -- his mouth wide-open -- and said, "Don't ever fuckin' do that again."
That's frickin' classic!
Me. Relationship councilor? All I know is that I was happy with him. Happier then ive ever been with anyone else, happier then I ever thought I could be. I think, once you find that kind of happiness, someone who cracks jokes for hours just to make you laugh, someone who gets you no matter how wierd you are....then that love and thats why i want to move over there to marry him.
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*I really want to give myself a paper cut right about now*
*Never buy anything from someone whos out of breath*
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:16pm.
AAARRRGGHHHH...my puppy was sitting in my lap for the past 10 minutes, and my left leg is totally asleep!!! PINS AND NEEDLES!!!!!!!
{In my best Aaron Tippin yodel} Sounds to me like a real nice problem to haaaaaaaave
Submitted by NaNoop on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:03pm.
I walked by him -- his mouth wide-open -- and said, "Don't ever fuckin' do that again."
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"Oderint dum metuant." Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (aka Caligula)
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Mmmm box wine.
(homer simpson voice)
Submitted by El Bastardo on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:17pm.
Wish i was married. But my girl feels nauseous when she looks at me.I can't see this relationship working, might choke her instead.
LOL
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
"SALUTES"
LMFAO - classic
with permission, may i use as siggie?
Submitted by NaNoop on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:13pm.
Good advice, danka.
I think you're right in that part of this is that I take it VERRRY seriously and while a lot of my friends got hitched right out of college, I knew that wasn't for me. Then another batch of friends got married right after law school and I knew I still wasn't ready. I feel like this is for sure the right man, but this is so permanent and HUGE, you know? I don't ever want to get divorced, so I've always wanted to wait for the right time and guy and I believe this is it so...I dunno.
Anybody go to a pre-marital counselor or anything like that? I've had friends recommend this type of thing but I'm worried it is going to be kind of hokey.
Typing 'hokey' made me think of Danny Gokey. Sad.
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Submitted by Event Horizon on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 1:12pm.
You seriously don't think that was a cunty question? Nevermind. It's like talking to a fucking brick wall.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
ISMU.....heeheehee xoxoxo to you!
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I don't want to stop just because , people walking by or watching us
I don't give a damn what they think, I want you now
- Janet Jackson "Any Time, Any Place"