Open Post: Hosted By The Comfort Wipe
Right after going caca times, have you ever thought to yourself before wiping, "Ugh. It's too far to reach. Fuckit." Well, the Comfort Wipe is the product your asshole has been praying for! Your chonies will love it too! "Not since the 1880s" (Can I have WTF?) has there been an invention that improves the task of wiping your own ass with "archaic" toilet paper. It's like a squeegee for your butt!
Seeeeriously, how is this any easier? You have to pull out The Shit Stick, attach a piece of toilet paper to it, lift your ass up, aim for the brown eye, wipe and then release. Not to mention that you have to clean it every week when the flies start having a party on it. Well, I guess it gets clean when you use it to scrub your back in the shower.
What's the opposite of making sense? THE COMFORT WIPE!.
That being said, every ho in my family is getting one of these for Christmas! The "big guys" in my family are getting two!
P.S. - The memaw at the 0:45 mark probably can't wipe her ass on her own, because she's too hopped up on pills. Just a guess.
VIA Best Week Ever
• 
I'm just here to comment about MK being so gosh darn pertiful. kbye.
--
heh, dehr, heh!
I knew a woman with severe rheumatory (sp?) arthritis, she had a curved spine, a real mess, not her fault, born with all this. But she had some sort of tool like this in her bathroom to wipe her ass and twat. I was very disgusted by it.
Girl. Once again. I'm in love. "Ugh. It's too far to reach. Fuckit." I've just typed it and I can't stop laughing. Of all the major retard things to come up with... a poop stick? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh girl. It's just so stupid.
I met my perfect one on ----BlackWhiteMeet, C O M---- It is a wonderful dating site for black and white singles to have fun together! And it's free! Hope it can help you find your ideal match!
Whenever I look at a big fat person, I wonder how they wipe their ass? Now I know.
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 4:44pm.
Are things so bad that no one wants to wipe their own asses anymore?
________________________________
ahahaahahaa!
i'm afraid so!
.
.
Arrgggh, I can't take it anymore! DR is making me angry! Her shit is everywhere here! I don't wanna see her flaunt her funbags! ughhh!
*cries*
It'll be over after midnight tonight, right? I love you MK, you need to make money, but my God!
Later whores.
OMG...... I gotta send one of these to my ex-husband!!!! I've allways said "humans are dumb". I guess this product proves me right!
DeeDee....... thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!! for the link. I'm a huge "social history" buff. This almost makes me think of the Hollicost. Innocent people being persicuted for just being who they are.
(sorry, my spelling is worse than usuall. under huge stress, and my brain is not working right)
But I gotta say......... Michael K, you are beautiful!!! You got the sweetest face. You can see a kind, gentle soul in your eyes. But yet have such a wicked funny bone!!! No wonder all us Sluts love you so much!!!!!
Living well is the best revenge.......
Even in the ad, the paper clings to the holder. Can you imagine if it had poop on it and trying to wrestle with it?
And that meemaw moves like she was probably one of Barbizon's earliest graduates. I wonder how much training it took to first point with one shoulder, keep talking, turn and point with the other shoulder.
************
I’m just saying it’s a perception that can be perceived from it.
Are things so bad that no one wants to wipe their own asses anymore?
=========
Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
oh they forgot to mention.. that you can use this shit incase if you lost the spoon for your soup.
--------------------------------
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
Must See!!!
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 1:08am.
Thanks green tea! Hissy mentioned it earlier but forgot to say which clip.
_________________________
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 11:38pm.
i just saw MK!!! he is on a PBS news show about gays in the media/activism!!! holy fuck!!! he is talking about dlisted. you are awesome, MK!
________________________
Submitted by Hysteria on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 12:02am.
You can watch episodes at the website i listed below.
www.inthelifetv.org
_____________________________________________
sorry for not posting the exact link, guys! I was too excited about having just watched the actual show on tv!
It was so weird. I just flipped the channel to PBS for the hell of it, and there was MK!!
That was a co-inky-dink! I love what he said about us liking the cute animal stories best. It's so true.
MK is the boss!
[perez is for light-weights. P]
♥♥
http://www.inthelifetv.org/html/episodes/74.html
[Go to "The Written Word" segment to see MK]
.
.
that looks like it was made for other uses...but anyway, i'm dying over here? really? where do you find these things?
i'm crying...
Thinking of that big guy actually using that comfort wipe kinda made me puke in my mouth a bit.
highlight of my week
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 10:45am.
LMAO!! What about the "Deadliest Snatch" or "Dirty Snatch" or...hmmmm *little sock monkey thinking pose**tapping chin with finger*...let me think about it!
****************************************
Let's see; Jaws, Cujo, Alien, Repulsion, Grindhouse, Freaks, and Misery have all been used. This make take longer than I thought.
_______________________________________________
If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 10:39am.
I can't believe Syd the kid would turn down date night at Ponderosa. He must be gay.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 10:17am.
Paris ties a string & hook to her Comfort Wipe then fishes with it in her vagina. She wanted to make a show about it, but the "Deadliest Catch" was already taken.
~~~~~~~~~
LMAO!! What about the "Deadliest Snatch" or "Dirty Snatch" or...hmmmm *little sock monkey thinking pose**tapping chin with finger*...let me think about it!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Mr. President on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 9:54am.
Since this is an open post, congrats to the Penguins. Just don't dent the cup, the Bruins are going to be getting it next year.
*******
Thank you Mr Prez. I will personally pass on your congrats to Syd the Kid. Of course that pesky probation thingie means I can't get within 100 feet of him, but I'll find a way. Somehow. *focusing hidden camera in Penguin's dressing room*
********
Freelove
Paris ties a string & hook to her Comfort Wipe then fishes with it in her vagina. She wanted to make a show about it, but the "Deadliest Catch" was already taken. _______________________________________________
If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Hilarious video!!!
Instead of paying for a Comfort Wipe, just get a stick and put some toilet paper at the end.
That chick fwho didn't like to shit from the "Obsessed" show needs this.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:08am.
WOW, I seriously agree with everything you said. I couldn't have said it better myself.
**************************************************************
Respect the woman, desire the slut and cherish the little girl. Then You have the mind, the body and the soul.
Since this is an open post, congrats to the Penguins. Just don't dent the cup, the Bruins are going to be getting it next year.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:28am.
I'm very proud to say during my daughter's entire time in high school, she was an active member of the rainbow club, a nationwide group founded for the understanding and peace between gay and straights. it was founded in honor of Matthew Shepherd, the teenager who was beaten to death for being gay.
****************************************
CTH, good for her & for your good parenting skills.
_______________________________________________
If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going on the DL site every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
I don't mind the ads at all. Bills have to be paid somehow.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I had no interest in watching the games at present....I found a hot place, you guys should try it ___Meetrich.Com_____a great place for rich people to meet their soul mates....
Totally not what I was expecting regarding what MK looks like. I was thinking some old hag, 'in your face queen', not some young good looking kid. Unreal...
The ads are funny, I saw that shit and I'm like daaamn MK is getting that money!
I'm still not sure what's so "complicated" about being a crazy eyed, idiot-marrying ex-Hollywood hooker, but whatevs.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
those Denise Richards ads are getting annoying. MK deserves to get paid of course but i feel haunted by Denise's crazy eyes.
I hike my ass up into the bathroom sink a wash it there. Much more sanitary and effective! Just make sure the water isn't too hot.
I loved the video, thanks for posting it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MK on Dlisted:
..and there are animal stories, they like a kitten on a vacuum for some reason…
It's fucking crazy how MK didn't use 10 posts to promote his little video appearance. Ironic how that is why we love MK, and why EVERYBODY hates Perez.
I don't think of Dlisted as a gay blog...Towleroad is a gay blog. Dlisted is just a place for MK to unleash his awesomeness and the site is good because MK has a great personality.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://wethinkyoushould.blogspot.com/
http://bleedingthecorgan.blogspot.com
http://myspace.com/rainbowsrule
Frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I'm very proud to say during my daughter's entire time in high school, she was an active member of the rainbow club, a nationwide group founded for the understanding and peace between gay and straights. it was founded in honor of Matthew Shepherd, the teenager who was beaten to death for being gay.
-------------------------------------------------
Fucka doodle-do.
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 7:25am.
Bumping Green Tea Latte's post You are soooooo friggin cute and stuffs, MK! ♥♥
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 12:49am.
So adorable!
http://www.inthelifetv.org/html/episodes/74.html
For anyone interested you can check out a short (but sweet) MK appearance on ITL. Click above, the whole episode is interesting but if you just want to check out our very own hot slut go to "The Written Word" segment and watch.
*********
Thanks Dee! I found the whole segment interesting. Oscar Wilde is one of my favourite authors and I never really thought about how he must have been an icon to gays who were into lit. And MK is CUTE!!!! Squeeeee!
********
Freelove
and, a hundred years ago, we were shitting in holes in the ground in little shacks..
-------------------------------------------------
Fucka doodle-do.
Mornin' Foxay! I was shocked at the lack of booze, Poptarts, bongs, and Mah Boo's strewn clothing at MK's place!
Oh, thanx green tea latte! I know I should post something deep and profound about gay media right now, but MK is so dagged adorable, I'm just speechless!
As a straight married middle-aged slut, I don't come here for the "gay" view on things but MK's view. It must have sucked balls not to have a place to turn to where the identity matches your own. I could always pick up Seventeen or Glamour or whathaveyou, and it was all about me and boys and fashion and makeup or whatever. It was just there. Its so different now where a mainstream TV show like AI can have gay people on there and it's no big deal.
I knew a flaming homo in grade school in the late 1960s, even then I knew he was but I really didn't care. This boy wore purple velvet vests to school. His name was Timothy. I will never forget. Unfortunately, we still seem to live in a society were boys will hurl the word "gay" at another and then the recipient of this epithet will hang himself. So, even though I hate AI and Kneepads "Yes I'm Gay" covers and all that "it's so trendy to be gay" vibe, if its a way for those who feel marginalized to feel part of something, it's a good thing.
I tend to be conservative politically in all things but gay rights and abortion. I never really discuss politics here because it tends to polarize and devolve into bickering and name calling (not endemic to this site but generally on all boards), but just getting it out there: I'm a proud conservative and I love my gay blogger MK!
Note to MK: More kittenz on vakumes pleez.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Submitted by DeeDee on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 7:25am.
For anyone interested you can check out a short (but sweet) MK appearance on ITL. Click above, the whole episode is interesting but if you just want to check out our very own hot slut go to "The Written Word" segment and watch.
Ya'll probably aren't going to believe this, but I was kind of surprised how gay MK came across. No matter - go MK!!!
good moaning sluts!
-------------------------------------------------
Fucka doodle-do.
I WANT ONE!
WTF!!! Toilet paper is 'archaic', but this device still needs to use it!! I just tried to approximate using this device with a stick of similar length and I couldnt get anywhere near my arse hole. What a load of SHIT!!!!!
Thanks for sharing Dee!
And we do tend to like kittens on vacuums, don't we?
Morning dlisters, morning Denise!
------------------------------------------
It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me.
Bumping Green Tea Latte's post You are soooooo friggin cute and stuffs, MK! ♥♥
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 12:49am.
So adorable!
http://www.inthelifetv.org/html/episodes/74.html
For anyone interested you can check out a short (but sweet) MK appearance on ITL. Click above, the whole episode is interesting but if you just want to check out our very own hot slut go to "The Written Word" segment and watch.
*calls 1-800-ASSTICK to order*
*receives in mail*
*coos with joy*
*Bedazzles and cornifies new gadget*
*spends weekend making decorative holder*
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful -- Seneca
Interesting to read Denise Richard's lifetime aspirations: flaunt her funbags, kiss a rockstar, etc etc. Maybe she could add *being a good parent*.
********
Freelove
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 11:48pm.
It's called "In the Life", an American public television series in a news magazine format that reports on gay and lesbian issues and culture.
They're talking about a 15 year old boy who was shot and killed because he asked another boy to be his valentine.
oh, this is so sad. i'm not sure i can watch it all. it makes me so angry.
the leading cause of death among gay teenagers is suicide
********
I will never fathom a parent who turns their back on a kid because they're gay and kicks them out of their home, at an age when they cannot fend themselves. It happens more then we think. *That* makes me very angry.
********
Freelove
Does that company do an extended nose-picker, ear hair depilator and toe nail clipper too? Blechhhh
America. Land of the Gadget.
_________________________________________________
The New Improved Wyle E
"If you don't have a full-time fuck partner, why not take a few part-time jobs to keep the genital area active in the community.""
Alas, Brad Pitt still recommends the Baby Ass Wipes.
====================================
Bottom-feeder.
Great for morbidly obese shut-ins, trekkies and Rosie O'Donnell.