Vh1 Peen
Anybody in the mood for a soggy Snausage? Or how about a mangled egg roll? I've got both of those things here for you! This past week, nekkid pictures of Kate Gosselin's hair twin (aka Shawn from Vh1's Tool Academy) and 6 Gauge from Daisy of Love hit the internets. Don't get all excited. It's not going to make your no-no slobber. Bring your dipping sauce and get yourself a mini-weiner after the jump. And it's totally NSFW. Well, unless you work at Hickory Farms. JUMP!!!!
First up is Shawn from Tool Academy. Here's the goods. I mean, the bads:
HAHAHAHA! I've coughed up bigger things than that! Shawn proves that big douchebag equals little dick. That's the kind of dick that makes your vagina snort. What the hell are you supposed to do with it? I guess you could roll puff pastry around it and serve it up at your next cocktail party? I know some of you whores are thinking that maybe he's a grower, but you're more optimistic than me. That being said, I'd probably soak it in Miracle-Gro for an hour and then have a go.
Now here's 6 Gauge's peen from a Playgirl shoot he did. Bitch even uses a peen pump, but what he really needs is a surgeon.
Okay, did Lorena Bobbitt not finish the job? Did Freddy Krueger give him a hand job! Did Stevie Wonder do his circumcision? For serious. That dick is wrecked! Well, he was on Daisy of Love. That's probably what happens when you do fucky times with Daisy. Your comes out looking like it went through a meat grinder. Which it kind of did. If you can't get enough of 6 Gauge's gimpy dick, Tabloid Prodigy has a video of him using a penis pump. And yes, I'd still hit it even though his butchered foreskin would make my teeth cry.
Source: Tabloid Prodigy
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An excerpt from his interview on Tabloid Prodigy: "It was a conversation piece from day one, of course. I would go around the house and cling it on s***, like, “Ding ding ding! Everybody it’s time to eat!” Or I’d just run around the house and do stupid s*** and just beat it on stuff." Well that solves the mystery of the Frankendick.
@possum: LMAO - "oh how cute, an extra belly button!"
AHAHAHAHAHAH! Why do I keep thinking of that scene in Austin Powers about the "penis pump!!"
Small, boring, uninteresting...meh.
A small cock. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving punkass sonofabitch. No, not 6 Gauge, Shawn. Six Gauge I couldn't really care less about.
I really hate to admit it, but I've been consistently watching Daisy of Love.
I hate the way Daisy gets all indignant over Fox and that other guy having a girlfriend, as though she's the one who got fucked over. She's so selfish...imagine how those girls felt when they realized their boyfriends were going on a reality show to compete for Bret Michaels' fugly sloppy seconds!
I think it's kind of funny how everyone hates her. How many guys have voluntarily left her on her show? You know you're annoying when the men who just want a booty call decide that you aren't even worth it. How does this twat live with herself? Her own family hates her too, from what I understand.
I saw a preview for next week where another one of the guys starts getting peeved off at her. It'll be funny if he leaves too.
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I'd do things to you that were illegal in all 50 states...(but I'm out places to store the bodies.)
First time I've ever seen a dick that made me want to puke. Nasty.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Submitted by yucko on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 11:44pm.
What can I say besides "ew"?
What do you ladies do if you're faced with a first-time encounter with a penis if it's anything like either of these? Fortunately I have eluded that fate, but it could happen someday.
.............................................
It has happened and let's say I wasn't in the mood anymore..Tiny dicks are a HUGH turn off. 1 inch? 2 inches? Eeks!
However, I've run screaming from giant dicks - and we are talking HUGH, as in above 9 inches! I've ever seen a 12 inch one and it wasn't going anyway near me!
Shawn has got one small ass dick.
The other one, um, IDK WTF is wrong with it, but I wouldn't getr within 100 feet of that thing.
I love me some good cock but those are barely enough to fit in my ear.
Submitted by chlyn on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 10:49pm.
The "leprosy" on guy #2 is actually soap suds.
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I wasn't talking bout no damn suds. I've had a dick for 32 years, and I've sucked and fucked a lot of others, and I ain't never seen one that looked like THAT. There's SOMEthing wrong with it, and it sure as hell ain't no Dove residue. :P
~-*+*-~
"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~ Cordelia Chase
WTF is up with Six Gauge's peeeeeen?? ewwwwwwwww
oh and buh bye Foxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Oh, bless his "litttle" heart!
Which is worse for a guy, a vienna sausage or a Vlasic Baby Gherkin?
http://www.maisontherese.co.nz/images/98px-pantry/pickled-cornichons-1kg...
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Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory.
naked men are gross..
rather check this out>>
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
I warn you, this shit is addictive.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 6:46pm.
Or Daisy De La Hoya's.
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I'd do things to you that were illegal in all 50 states...(but I'm out places to store the bodies.)
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 7:38pm.
bahahaha
vienna sausage
this only brings up thoughts for what the dialect is pussy (as in puss oozing from a wound) sausage of käsekrainer (the sausages with cheese in them)
when my belfast cousins were over they got their drank on and harassed the poor blokes at the würstelstands going on about pussy cheesey knobs lol
so many gems in dialects!
Oh gee, the loser from Tool academy takes nude photos with scene whores, why am I not surprised?
He looks like the type who digs scene whores.
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I'd do things to you that were illegal in all 50 states...(but I'm out places to store the bodies.)
♪ I don't like NONE of them!!!!! That one with jizz all over it it fucking 'nasty'!
I really resent the fact that every time I come here to check new comments, I have to scroll past baby carrot dick and his brother cock alfredo sauce.
I love sexy stuff! hook up sexy girls or wealthy singles at _BlackWhiteLoving-com ,It's said that it's easy to find your sexy partners there! Have a try!
Submitted by jennagirl on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 12:02am.
LOLs, I meant to type 'hero' but you can be my herp, too.
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LOL! That was funnay!
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
LOLs, I meant to type 'hero' but you can be my herp, too.
Grapedrinkbaby...BEST username and av EVER! Nothing brings the LOLs for me like that segment! You're my herp.
What can I say besides "ew"?
What do you ladies do if you're faced with a first-time encounter with a penis if it's anything like either of these? Fortunately I have eluded that fate, but it could happen someday.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 6:44pm.
Oh hell no, WHY did I watch that video!?!? I can't believe I just watched this dude pump up his peen. He was all proud of it and shit like he was on Tool Time or some other fuckery.
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LMAO again!!!!!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:05pm.
What the fuck is that guy in pic #1 sportin' atween his legs???? I hope he's plannin' on fuckin' someone in the ear or up the schnoz with that thing because those are the only orafices I can figure that lil' fighty man toothpick peen could satisfy
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LMAO!!!
The "leprosy" on guy #2 is actually soap suds.
And why is #2 wearing underwear in the shower?
Submitted by WipeOutPutOutGetOut on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:24pm.
I 100% agree!
This will be the last time I talk about my boyfriend's dick, guys (well, probably not), but he's 5'11", really lean and is packin' away about 10 inches. It's lovely. Most bigger built guys I've been with are always on the smaller side.
snausages are all good but the second idiot is sportin a "beggin' strip "
I'm just glad you invoked Snausages, which I reference all the time, though I haven't seen a commercial for them in 10+ years. Please delight in their ridic e-cards: http://www.snausages.com/send_ecard.htm
Oh, that is beyond horrifying. Query: could that be a result of steroid use? Isn't the peen the first thing to shrivel up? I don't know about the Daisy of Love guy, but Shawn from Tool Academy seemed to have lots and lots and lots of 'roid rage.
Love to love ya baby!
These guys make Fred Durst look like John Holmes!
(I always thought Durst had a nice cock anyway. It was just attached to a douchebag.)
Don't want no short dick man...
i can't even tell what i'm looking at...either that or i forgot what a penis looks like....
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a wet pussy and a dry purse don't match....
GAAAAHHHRAAATE!!! Now i gotta remember these two assholes names for the next time there's a tic tac in a 'caption this' contest
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"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
Why does this man have so many scars around his penile region...?
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
EWWW! ICK!
"Jesus and God really need to file a joint lawsuit against bitches for dragging their good names into unadulterated fuckery!" MK 2/15/09
Submitted by WipeOutPutOutGetOut on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:24pm.
It's funny, I've found men with overbuilt bodies tend to have this sort of deficiency when it comes to the penis department. God does indeed have a sense of humor. Usually the tall, thin guys are the ones with the big wangs, though there's no clear cut penis philosophy I go with.
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you know what, i've found the exact opposite to be true with one super built guy who kept talking about how big his dick was, when guys say that i usually think "psssssshhh pinky dick!' but in his case, he was NOT kidding. he was HUGE.
on another occasion, this tall, thin guy i thought would be sporting a nice member ended up coming up short reallll bad. total letdown!
its like gump should have said, cocks are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.
Well, that was disappointing.
now I know what everyone on "Tool Academy" was laughing at when Shawn flashed everyone on one episode. It was small peen jokes aplenty after that..
They weren't kidding, yikes!
That chick is holding that iPhone like, 'yup, I got naked with you for this...snap!'
Two things:
1. 6 Gauge's dick looks like it's been in a fire. A small fire.
2. If he did steroids and came out looking like that, well that's just a damn shame.
WTF is going on with Door Number Two? That shower isn't going to cure his leprosy of the cock.
Fuck, that's almost enough to make me quit dick. *sigh* But then I watch Rocco Siffredi and I'm jonesing for jizz like Wonky on a fleet ship.
Curse you, cock! Your nefarious powers have thwarted me once more.
~-*+*-~
"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." ~ Cordelia Chase
Submitted by WipeOutPutOutGetOut on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:24pm.
It's funny, I've found men with overbuilt bodies tend to have this sort of deficiency when it comes to the penis department. God does indeed have a sense of humor. Usually the tall, thin guys are the ones with the big wangs, though there's no clear cut penis philosophy I go with.
6 Gauge looks to me like he's indulging a bit in steroids. His body isn't natural, JMHO.
NaNoop!
I know! I have a gift!
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It's funny, I've found men with overbuilt bodies tend to have this sort of deficiency when it comes to the penis department. God does indeed have a sense of humor. Usually the tall, thin guys are the ones with the big wangs, though there's no clear cut penis philosophy I go with.
And maybe there is soap suds on that dick (six gauge), but I feel like something is on his penis...
Submitted by sugardaddy on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:09pm.
come 2 me
Check this out, guys! This is what TOTALLY came to mind with that opening line....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTIDB5jFkQY
come 2 me
sexy ++ rich ++ hot ++ celebrity singles +++ sugar daddies and babies====
~~~SugarBabyMeet.com~~~
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 8:05pm.
What the fuck is that guy in pic #1 sportin' atween his legs???? I hope he's plannin' on fuckin' someone in the ear or up the schnoz with that thing because those are the only orafices I can figure that lil' fighty man toothpick peen could satisfy (and I'm being kind to both parties there...)...Sersly, dude ain't got NUFFIN' on Chyna Doll's man clit, and I KNOW Chaz Boner is SOOO gonna out peen this dude with her fake rod of woman pleasure....
LOL, you funny-ass skank tiger
Submitted by Clarisse on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 7:52pm.
I know it’s stereotyping, but when I see a man that obsesses THAT much on his appearance ( exercise freaks, tanners, douche hair cut ) I automatically assume they have teenie peenie issues.
I’d pass before they even said “Hey baby!”
Well, your theory's 2 for 2 here....
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 7:38pm.
Okay, I dated (ahem) a guy who had a small weiner. My friend and I referred to him as "Vienna Sausage".
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Veenie Weenies!!
That's all I got. I have nothing to contribute to the peen talk because the kiddos are here.