It's Not A Party Until Someone Ends Up In The Emergency Room
Sometimes when you're out boozing, one cocktail leads to another, which leads to a dozen more, which leads to you needing to go to the emergency room. You can't say you've really partied until you've walked out of an ER with dried up vomit all over your clothes and one less vital organ in your body. This is what happened to John Mayer's friend, Rob from MTV's Rob & Big, this past Saturday in L.A. That's what you get when you mix douchewater and Henny.
John had to drag Rob out of club MyHouse and shuttle his ass to the emergency room, because dude got the drunks in a serious way. A few hours later, John announced on his Twatter that Rob was going to live: "In triage at Cedars with @robdyrdek. When the contents of his stomach hit that silicon bag and we all saw it, we just broke into appluse."
Appluse is douchetardian for "applause." In case you were wondering.
John is really a true friend for taking his drunk as fuck friend to the emergency room and then clapping when Rob's Alize and ribs-scented barf hit the bag. That's what any good friend would do, but not every good drunk would agree to go. The last time a friend wanted to make to the hospital, I responded with, "Fuck that! I don't have insurance, bitch! Take me to McDonald's instead." Eating a Filet-O-Fish while suffering from the drunk dry heaves is the quickest way to induce vomiting. Tried and tested. Trust this!
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Urgh, Alize...I don't know if it went off or what (that sounds weird, but it tasted weird that night) but I got SO ill on that stuff once. So. Ill. I was throwing up the whole of the next day. It was horrid.
I don't know why but I've always had a crush on Rob. I'll be his nurse.
This is gross. Even Drama doesn't want part of this hot mess. Hanging out with John Mayer? Drinking like you're 15 with the house to yourself? He's already like 5'2'' but seeing him being carried out of a club drunk makes him look 4'11''. That's all I can say. I was disgusted by this until I read MK synopsis.. He always lightens my mood.
**Social trends are social engineering.**
Whovever the little fart is he needs to learn how to handle his liquor. Maybe he was drinking to forget he was hanging out with miss douche mayer?
That Rob Guy is a dick!!!!! what a fucktard! Who the fuck is he anyway? another reality show, loser. God Bless him....and all of us too!
Cheers!
Thanks Snowy! Cool beans!
stoney: it's not till the end but it's worth it! sigh.....LOLOLOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Stoney, it's near the end.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:07am.
WTF? Dude's that old (late 20s/30s) and doesn't know his limits with liquor? I learned that by the time I was out of high school. Seriously.
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Robs like 37, but he acts like a 14 year old dickwipe on that show of his. I wonder what ever happened to big though..
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*I really want to give myself a paper cut right about now*
*Never buy anything from someone whos out of breath*
And John Mayer is an asshole anyway.
Such lightweights! Back in the old days we pumped our own stomaches by lying naked on a tile floor, doing situps real fast while putting a fist to your lower ribcage in short bursts of Heimlichess maneuvers and if that didn't bring up the booze and bile from the lower regions, stick yer fingers down yer throat and yer good for another few rounds of 151 rum. I call it the Zappy Maneuver.
Having your stomach pumped is NOT fun. At all. Nice way to respect your friends privacy Mayer. Yeah, post it all over twatter.
Asshole.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 06/15/2009
I really don't like Perez. He's so hatefull it's boring. If I gotta work and answer all these dumb bitches who call in, I want to be entertained, not politicized.
Show of hands: Who's at work right now?
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"Ick. Nast."
elmo533 OMG yes! I noticed that too! awesome
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Mon, 06/15/2009 -
I was expecting liters of vodka, mother's circus animal cookies strewn about, and shrines for the holy trinity (Rojo, Lucite, and cutlets).
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I would have liked to see at least one circus cookie or a Stains poster, but no such luck. So cute though!
How glad are y'all that they didn't use Perez (or if they did I fast forwarded through him).
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"Ick. Nast."
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 10:11am.
You're welcome sluts! nothing but love for MK, don't you just want to pinch his cheeks?
And yes, I guess he cleaned the place up for the interview. I was expecting liters of vodka, mother's circus animal cookies strewn about, and shrines of the holy trinity (Rojo, Lucite, and cutlets). lol
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LMAO that's exactly how I pictured it!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
My BF loves this show. I tolerate it only because I love Meaty and Beefy so much.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Has nobody commented on the look on that bodyguard's face? Somebody told him who he was carrying out and he said, "Who?", and they snapped the picture.
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"Ick. Nast."
Missy: I know, how adorable can he be? did you notice how clean his house is? LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Snowpiece?? Do you have a link to the MK interview?? Please say you do... I wanna seeeee!
Sorry about the OT thing.
Never Mind..... I found it. Thanks Greentea and Snow!
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Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 11/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
SNOOGLE for HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR!!!
xo
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:25am.
omg!! thank you for posting that link!! and I thought I couldnt love MK any more! awww!!!
LOVE YOU MK!!!
"potpourri" ahahahhahahahahaaa!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
why have i always found rob hot? ..why?
in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please don't breed or buy while homeless animals die! and support animal shelters<3
snowpiece: haha. i dont have a no-no hole, i have a never EVAH hole
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"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
What is the appeal of John Mayer. Seriously?
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Third test today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it. --- Rainn Wilson in Juno
Expecting my third in October.
My boyfriend always watches his stupid show. Maybe it's because I'm an old fart, but I just don't find any of the shit he does funny. It just looks forced & juvenile, & I find it to be highly annoying. And it doesn't suprise me one bit that this guy O.D.'ed on alcohol. He may be 30ish, but he has the mind & body of a 15 year old.
Just last night my boyfriend was watching a rerun of that epi of Fantasy Factory where Rob picks up one of his dog's turds & pretends to smoke it like a cigar. This was like the 3rd fucking time I was forced to watch that episode. And the more times I see it the more I want to hurl. I hate my boyfriend sometimes.
Provy: don't even try and front and tell me that when you watched MK speaking you didn't get a little tingle in your no no hole? LMAO!!!!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:36am.
Green Tea Latte that shit was HAWT, thanks. I heard MK speak! I can die happy now, LOL
his apt is so clean! LMAO
i watched that also. MK is gay?!?!?! thanks for the avvie compliment.
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"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
Douchebags.
Yeah, great "friend" you have there, Rob...
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
Welcome To Dlisted, Son!
My Son, born 5/28 @ 10lbs 15oz.
Rob and Big was an awesome show. I love both of them.
Green Tea Latte that shit was HAWT, thanks. I heard MK speak! I can die happy now, LOL
his apt is so clean! LMAO
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Submitted by missy on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:25am.
I LOVE YOU.
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*Faints*
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Must See!!!
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
I warn you, this shit is addictive.
Douches doing douchy things...I haven't seen MTV since it died years ago.
Idiot...
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:25am.
yeah sort of, i mean i think there are plans of what stupid things he'll do, but id say its not scripted.
i like how in rob's fantasy factory theres always the one dude who's face is blurred out
i also lked when he brought the blob into the factory to jump peopleinto the foam pit with!
hi~you still can not find your other half of the right.you can log on __ClassyMingle.com___. a professional dating place for all the single people.go and meet your own classy single!!
Submitted by captainhash on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:24am.
who is John Mayer?
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I LOVE YOU.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
greenfinch: is it a reality show?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:21am.
i do! guess im lame and boring too :(
who is John Mayer?
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Must See!!!
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
I warn you, this shit is addictive.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 06/15/2009 - 9:19am.
well rob and big were about him and his best friend/body guard living together and doing stupid shit. liek they got meaty the bulldog, and they got hte mini horse and he would get big black to skateboard (and dude is lke 400lbs) hmm doesnt sound so funny when i explain it. but the shows are really good.
and rob's fantasy factory is about him doing stupid shit. but timmy the testy..(test dummy) makes me laugh so hard. its mostly about him running his businesses and then doing stuff on teh side like getting bitten by a shark on purpose..
i dunno. i just like it hahaha
hahaha those photos are hilarious!
I ended up in the ER a few times when good samaritan bitches would call the cops on me thinking I was overdosed. Nosy cunts! I was always fine! Ruin my high with narcan! Assholes!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Maybe he got so drunk because he finally realized how LAME AND BORING his friggin show is! Seriuosly who watches that crap.
i have never watched this. what's is the show about?
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
How old is John Mayer and why would he consider all that detail twitter worthy. Really juvenile.
i like watching rob's show, cause it makes me laugh, but really, mature is not a word i would use to describe him, so yes at 35 im not surprised he has alcohol poisining ...my only question is where's drama?
LMAO@ provy's new avie
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Submitted by mike: "WTF? Dude's that old (late 20s/30s) and doesn't know his limits with liquor? I learned that by the time I was out of high school. Seriously."
Exactly! I was wondering that, too. No one wants to hang out with that person, either. It's a real buzzkill to have to call the EMTs or rush someone to the ER because they can't handle their liquor.
Mayer also needs to grow the fuck up. I hate these douche bags.
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
If I were friends with that douche, I'd drink and drug it up too!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston