Twinkle, Twinkle Little Dumbass
You know how sometimes when you're passed out drunk your friends (or in my case, your own mother) will write words like "DRUNK, WHORE, SKANK, PEEN SUCKER" all over your face? Well, 18-year-old Kimberley Vlaminck of Belgium claims that's what happened to her (sort-of). Except the fresh graffiti on her face wasn't from a Sharpie and couldn't be washed off with water or even hot gasoline. This fugness is pretty much permanent!
Kimmy tells the Daily Mail that she paid a Romanian tattoo artist £55 to decorate her face with only three stars. Kimmy, who might have the worst case of narcolepsy ever, says she fell asleep while the dude had a sharp needle on her face and woke up covered in STARZ. 56 stars to be exact.
Kimmy is suing the tattoo artist for £8,500, because that's how much it's going to cost to get them all removed. Kimmy says that she told him she only wanted 3 stars in English and French, but he must have misunderstood her. The tattoo artist says that Kimmy is made of lies, because she specifically asked for 56 stars. He said she was awake and even looked at the mirror a few times. He went on to say, "The trouble all started when she went home and her father and boyfriend threw a fit. They are saying things now like I doped her or hypnotized her. What rubbish!" It's safe to say that he's MADDER THAN FISH GREASE.
I've never had a tattoo, but I'm pretty sure that if you had a sharp ass needle right on your bone you wouldn't be skipping through the clouds in dreamland. The stupid bitch got the tattoo and her father threatened to quit her ass over it, so she played dumb.
It's really not that bad either. It kind of looks like her ear is queefing out stars. It's like Glamberace scooted all over her face. Look on the bright side. Or should I say, the "STARZ" side (GONG!!!!).
Kimmy is moaning that she can't leave the house now, "I am so embarrassed. I just look horrible."
Um. I've got news for Kimmy. The star bukkake on her face is less ridiculous than that SEXY belt buckle she's wearing.
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"He's not just going to fucking freestyle on your ass."
Haha, I found that line very amusing...
Submitted by Kelly Ann on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 2:01pm.
VERY NICE WORK!
are you maybe interested in helping with our next project?
:D
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
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What a stupid ass liar.
First of all that girl is a dumb ho for telling people she fell asleep during a FUCKING FACE TATOO. I think not. Second...Michael K...don't you know that if Glamberace scooted over her face it wouldn't leave black stars...IT WOULD LEAVE GLITTER. Beautiful glitter.
Submitted by Kelly Ann on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 2:01pm.
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 12:43pm.
I'm waiting for someone to photoshopp these stars onto Kate gosselins face and put it as their avatar. You know its going to happen!
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Done and Done :D
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LMAO!!! LOVES IT!
LisaL on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:36pm.
Anyone who's ever gotten a tattoo knows that there is no way in hell you're going to fall asleep, specially in spots where it's bony... that shit hurts!
Plus... tattoo artists use that special paper stuff that leaves an outline on your skin (or draw on you w/ a marker) where the tattoo is going to go so you can look in the mirror and tell them if it's ok or not. He's not just going to fucking freestyle on your ass.
What a dumb fucking idiot.
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exactly!
Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 12:43pm.
I'm waiting for someone to photoshopp these stars onto Kate gosselins face and put it as their avatar. You know its going to happen!
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Done and Done :D
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Holla for a Dolla! Shout for some clout!
You get what you deserve
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http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
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yeah, don't they usually make a pic on tracing paper first? I know this from watching Miami Ink.
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 12:56pm.
One of the few times from the title and picture posted I was completely wrong - I thought for sure she was some "Twilight" movie loonie.
I thought the exact same thing!
He actually heard her, but upon seeing that cosmic canvas, the little voice inside of him said:
"My God! It's full of stars!!!"
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Bottom-feeder.
So he couldn't understand that she only wanted 3 stars, yet he COULD understand that she wanted some to be filled, some to be outlines, some to be small, some to be bigger? Right.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Submitted by El Bastardo on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 12:46pm.
Stupid Belgy. Slept thru it? OK.
When i had 17 geese tattooed on my back, no way did i sleep! I blubbered, wept and near the end....shat myself, its no picnic!
Very embarrassing, but i look good on the beach.
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thanks for my first hearty laugh of the day, you funny fuck you.
so. do you get shat on more or less often now?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
The Gosselin Hair Video is here! (A My2Cents/Sandbitch/TITS production)
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Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/36561337@N05
Michael K would say add a Unicorn and a Rainbow to the other side of the face and she'll be all set.
Wha happened? Sorry for the double post.
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It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me.
Anyone who's ever gotten a tattoo knows that there is no way in hell you're going to fall asleep, specially in spots where it's bony... that shit hurts!
Plus... tattoo artists use that special paper stuff that leaves an outline on your skin (or draw on you w/ a marker) where the tattoo is going to go so you can look in the mirror and tell them if it's ok or not. He's not just going to fucking freestyle on your ass.
What a dumb fucking idiot.
Submitted by The C word on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:33pm.
Submitted by Snarkley on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:28pm.
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And her porn name will be "Trou Noir".
(edit: Black Hole)
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It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me.
Ha Ha HA! She should have remembered the one cardinal rule of getting tats.
If you're drinking... don't be inking !
♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥~*~♥
I just watched the MK interview and I swear to the Goddess' of Lucite and Cutlets the minute he spoke unicorn kittens followed by rainbow glitter shot out my ass!!!
She is so full of it. Do you know how delicate the eye area is, how thin the skin is on the face, and how close the bone structure is to the surface of the skin!? There are few places you could ink that would actually hurt more than the face...
The worst part about those ugly stars is, they're small and thick. They will spread into black blobs by the time she is 30....
Am I going to be the first one to mention porn? OK, I'll be the black sheep of the DListed family/
Submitted by Green Is Good on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:17pm.
She wants the Daily Mail to broadcast it because she wants publicity. If she was really embarrassed and upset about it surely she wouldn't send them a picture for the world to see. This bitch is smart she probably got turned down for Belgium's next top model or something and now she wants to get onto Belgium's version of Dancing with the stars or I'm a celebrity get me out of here.
Think how much hits she'll get on google. She made sure they got her real name and two pictures.
************I've been banned by Perez Hilton for joking that his mother steals shopping carts from malls and I like it.....what will Mario's mother say about it......**************
Submitted by Morrissey on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:12pm.
it's funny that like 4 people have posted the "MADDER THAN FISH" grease explanation without reading others explanations too, first. haha.
I can only speak for myself but I like to go back to the earliest posts and read chronologically. I comment as I read, so a lot of times by the time I read up further it's been addressed. Can't stop me from giving my 2 cents, ho!!!
I have 2 tattoos that took about 5 hours each.
In the first hour or so, I was very relaxed because of the endorphin rush, but there's NO way I would have fallen asleep! Too painful.
I believe the tattoo guy.
I have one tattoo and it hurt like FUCK. I don't believe you can fall asleep during one with a goddamn needle hovering around your fucking EYEBALL.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Instead of having the Daily Mail broadcast her idiocy to entire western world, she should put on her big girl underpants and parade down the streets of the Council Housing Estate she lives on with her head held high!
Another thought occurs: All she had to do was hold up THREE FINGERS to the Tat artist. Three, count 'em, three.
Kat in L.A. Ink and all these other shows on tv are having to much of an effect on the youth!!!!
What a tool!!
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*I really want to give myself a paper cut right about now*
*Never buy anything from someone whos out of breath*
Submitted by leanlovesMK on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:13pm.
SHE'S FROM BELGIUM !!! This says it all !!!!
They are STOOOOOPPPID over there!!
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Have you been to Belgium yourself or how do you judge?
Anyway, I'm not going to contradict you since the EU parliament sits there and to me they're everything else but smart, hehehe :)
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
Dumbshit doesn't get a pass from me. It's called accountability. Pull up your big girl panties and deal with the consequences of your own stupidity.
I'm so sure she fell asleep. I never had a tat either, but I bet it hurts one hell of a lot more than getting a tetanus shot and I know I could never sleep through THAT!
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
Make it stop! Not everyone is a victim! Some people actually make their own choices & take responsibility for their actions.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
she should be more embarrassed about her pre-stars methface. the stars are distracting from her fug.
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
SHE'S FROM BELGIUM !!! This says it all !!!!
They are STOOOOOPPPID over there!!
But seriously girl, come up with a better story no one believes you. I have 3 stars on my inner wrist and it HUUURRT LIKE HELL !! inking the inside of the stars was horrible so you must be on something really strong to fall asleep through 56 stars!
Good luck getting money for that, learn to speak english and let us know when you get your next tat, jackass !!!!
Submitted by NaNoop on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:11pm.
Yeah, Nanoop, that's what I was thinking....
Where was the mum during all this?
Well I saw a little film about the circumstances there and wouldn't be surprised if the four-year-old was the next one in the drain......
Tickle Loris in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLdQ3UhLoD4
it's funny that like 4 people have posted the "MADDER THAN FISH" grease explanation without reading others explanations too, first. haha.
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"You can get it doggy-style or you can get it laying on your side. Those are your only choices. This is my house and I get the say."
(high fiving NaNoop)
Submitted by missy
destined for bike messenger greatness
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Totally. That or she's going to follow Phish around and sell candles and shit. Remember kids, when you pierce and tattoo your face and neck, your job prospects go right in the toilet.
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Boredom is not a burden anyone should bear.
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Submitted by EvilShoe on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:06pm.
I'm on Team Romanian Man!
Duh, most (if not almost all) Romanians speak English, dumbass! I love Romania in case we have any whores from there, beautiful country and nice people. Talk about a romance language!
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Absolutely. Urbanized Romanians are incredibly educated people, most of whom do speak English. Secondly, Romanian is similar to Italian. It's a Latinate language, so I hardly think he wouldn't understand "three" in English and French. And, finally, why would you go to an artist who doesn't understand you??
I call bullshit on this whole story. This kid thought she was doing something cool and it turned out to be a dumb idea. Now she's trying to bail. It's like giving Brett Michaels a handjob and then swearing you only asked to feel his weave but he forced your hand down to his crotch. ...ok. It's not like that at all. Just saying.
Yuck!
Submitted by mmm...kay on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:09pm.
Don't tell me a four year old doesn't know what will happen when flushing a dog. They shouldn't have given the dog back to that devil child. Am I becoming such an asshole that I couldn't give a shit if someone flushed the kid and saved the dog?
As a mom, I'm witcha on this one. Fuck that little Damian bastard.
He SHOULD know because his worthless PARENTS shoulda taught 'is ass a thing or two about living creatures by now.
Damn it, I didn't hear that puppy story. May he get mauled by a pack of wild dogs that take their time chewing his dick off.
Submitted by 2Di4 on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:06pm.
That outfit... FAIL!!!
what is up with the stupid star tattoos? that's like one step away from getting a disney character on your boob. it seems like every truck stop stripper is getting those stupid things on their necks and up their forearms.
stars and skanks forever!
LOL that last line!
Don't tell me a four year old doesn't know what will happen when flushing a dog. They shouldn't have given the dog back to that devil child. Am I becoming such an asshole that I couldn't give a shit if someone flushed the kid and saved the dog?
Ooops.See what happens when you miss a day !?
That outfit... FAIL!!!
what is up with the stupid star tattoos? that's like one step away from getting a disney character on your boob. it seems like every truck stop stripper is getting those stupid things on their necks and up their forearms.
stars and skanks forever!
(if there are any star tattoo lovers out there, can you please help me understand wth that is all about? i really just don't get the significance. if you're inking your body permanently, i hope to god it's for a reason of some sort.)
I'm on Team Romanian Man!
Duh, most (if not almost all) Romanians speak English, dumbass! I love Romania in case we have any whores from there, beautiful country and nice people. Talk about a romance language!
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MK about the whores on Dlisted:
..and there are animal stories, they like a kitten on a vacuum for some reason…
sexy
Submitted by Clarisse on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 1:01pm.
Stoney,
He flushed a week-old puppy. Fuck him.
Stick that little toehead face down there for a few flushes...he'll think twice next time...
Oh, man. I can't even handle knowing about that fuckery right now.
I was looking at rescues this morning and I wish I could help them ALL. To think of the cruel things people do to animals makes me borderline homicidal.
Yeah, I'm sure his parents are highly educated pillars of the community! *snort*
Exactly why were they breeding their fucking pet anyway? It's called spay and neuter! Fucking PEOPLE!
Sorry for the off-topic rant.
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
i only counted 53? perhaps i need to go back to school?
Stoney,
He flushed a week-old puppy. Fuck him.
Stick that little toehead face down there for a few flushes...he'll think twice next time...
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