Don't Eat The Cookie Dough!!
If you get the craving to eat cookie dough this weekend, lick this picture and don't eat the real thing or you may doody until you dieeeeeee. Nestle has recalled a bunch of their cookie dough products after 66 people in 28 states got sick with E. coli. This is serious. I just ate Nestle cookie dough a couple of weeks ago. RAW. If my ass starts leaking non-stop, I won't be so quick to blame it on my extra-curricular activities.
Nestle is begging you not to eat their products raw or cooked! Normally, the heat would kill the bacteria, but Nestle isn't fucking around. If you have a bunch of Nestle cookie dough in your freezer, you can return it to your grocery store for a full refund. This weekend the grocery stores are totally going to be full of single depressed ladies trading in their unused cookie dough for SnackWells.
Why do they always recall delicious things? They never recall crap like peas or multi-grain Cheerios. You know, shit I wouldn't even eat if it was laying on Prince Hot Ginge's peen (I'm lying).
I always eat raw cookie dough. I tell myself that I'm going to bake it like a normal person, but then suddenly the bowl is empty and I have the guilties.
And I hope Bradley Cooper doesn't dump Jennifer Aniston this weekend or she is TOTALLY FUCKED.
holy sht i almost freaked out.
but idk for what cuz i haven't eaten cookie dough anything for a while but i love edy's cookie dough ice cream & if that shit has some virus or w/e that would be fckd up.
but fuck nestle.
I am one of the few people out there who has zero interest in raw cookie dough other than to to just bake it. I have never ever been drawn to eating that stuff raw...Its not nearly as good as the finished product to me, so why bother?
I'll stick to homemade. Sheesh, i thought this was goign to be a GOOP post.
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¿donde está machín?
Submitted by Newportjoey on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 10:50am.
So WHO at the Nestle factory took a dump in the cookie batter???
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ahahaahaha!
prolly some escaped Keebler elves
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I had no idea that cookie dough was something that could be bought. I make cookies, but I have to make the dough myself.
Guess we are missing out here in Norway..
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In the US we can also buy:
Hot dogs already in the buns, just stick in the mirowave.
Already made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Bagels with the cream cheese already inside.
Already made pudding.
Already popped popcorn.
This is why we are such lazy, impatient, fat bastards.
Cokkie dough that makes you LOSE WEIGHT?!?! I'm on my way to Wal-Mart now!
I had no idea that cookie dough was something that could be bought. I make cookies, but I have to make the dough myself.
Guess we are missing out here in Norway..
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:33am.
Submitted by dandifiedviolence on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 5:11am.
ATTENTION LAZY SLUTS - make your own, then you won't get sick!
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I was tryna keep myself from saying that: predictability and all that...
But yeah - our secret family recipe for chocolate chip cookies that everyone raves about and is hand-written in several recipe files...?
Nestle Toll-House cookies, taken right off a bag of chocolate chips in the 70s sometime.
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It' true!!
I rarely watched the show Friends, but I did catch an episode where Courtney Cox's character was making choc chip cookies, none of them turned out right and finally the perfect recipe was on the bag all along.
My mom always made the best choc chip cookies and when I asked her for the recipe she said, "Oh I just use the one on the bag!" lol
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the end...
Submitted by PussyCow on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 10:29am.
Cunts from a page or so back: they tell you not to eat raw cookie dough because of the EGG.
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WTF? U crazy, gurl. There's nothing wrong with eating raw eggs. Also, it's not any cookie dough - just Nestle premade.
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
So WHO at the Nestle factory took a dump in the cookie batter???
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Cunts from a page or so back: they tell you not to eat raw cookie dough because of the EGG. Obviously the nasty, gooey shit they got from a chicken's ass was rotten and now people are getting sick. A lot of people even die from e. coli. Fucking awesome! Yeah, let's make some jokes about little kids who die because of stupid, barbaric, out-dated food practices! Egg does nothing in a cookie except act as a binder. Hence, use something else as a binder, you don't even taste the difference, and you protect yourself from e. coli and salmonella, retards.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 10:09am.
Hi Hysteria. I took a dl break for a couple weeks, but I am back! We have had quite a few storms around here, but my place has remained unscathed , to this point. The Summer is still ahead!
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Hey there! the sluts were all missing you! but it is good to take a break now & then. a person needs to get outside and breath.
I've been fine. Mowing the lawn like a banshee, it grows like crazy now. it's a great time of year!
Yes, watch out for those storms! Hope you have a basement or storm room. Have a good day, chica!
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Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 10:04am.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:04am.
Looks like someone had a big birthday night!
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Hi, devilgirl! haven't seen ya in awhile. hope you're dodging all the big storms down south!
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Hi Hysteria. I took a dl break for a couple weeks, but I am back! We have had quite a few storms around here, but my place has remained unscathed , to this point. The Summer is still ahead!
How have you been?
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by devilgirl on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:04am.
Looks like someone had a big birthday night!
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Hi, devilgirl! haven't seen ya in awhile. hope you're dodging all the big storms down south!
@MK - HEY, MK! DO YOU NEED SOME BAIL MONEY?!
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Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:55am.
HAI SOCKY!
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*back flip off top of hamper still holding morning mimosa in hand* *perfect landing* See?! I din't spill a drop!! *little sock monkey hugs & smooches* Hi, angel_i!!
ON T: Me likes to slice my choice of cookie dough & mix it with vanilla ice cream. Uh...not anymore!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:59am.
i shoudl do that. i only eat plain yogurt and that shit aint cheap!
Hey TITS! I forgot one step, see below...
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 06/19/2009 - 10:33pm.
Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 06/19/2009 - 10:19pm.
I will never by store crap again. I got my yogurt maker from an online store.
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I made my own yogurt for years. You actually only need milk, plain yogurt starter and a food thermometer.
There are lots of recipes online. It's easy. You don't need a yogurt maker.
- preheat oven to 200, then turn off
-[ADDED]- heat 2 quarts of milk in saucepan until scalded (skin forms on top) to kill unwanted bacteria
-COOL milk to 110 degrees (it does have to be fairly precise),any hotter and it will kill yogurt culture
- add about a cup of PLAIN yogurt to the warm milk and whisk to mix
- pour milk/yogurt mixture into 2 1-quart jars
- set the jars into a warm water bath in a big soup kettle (water should be deep enough to cover to just below neck of jar)
- put the soup kettle containing milk/ warm water bath into the oven (make sure oven is turned off). close oven door
- let set overnight
- should be yogurt by morning/ refrigerate
Keep enough yogurt to use as starter for next batch. It always worked for me!
[EDITED to add scalding step, thanks for the carmel corn! very excellent]
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Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:55am.
its sooooooooo easy though... esp the recipe i have! turns out so good!
HAI SOCKY!
Submitted by greenfinch
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Guilty! I HATE making pizza dough. So I buy it *shame face*
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
Ugh, jeez, why don't people just make their own instead of buying that refrigerated crap. Try these: http://eatcheapeatwelleatup.com/2009/06/20/cookie-monster/
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:47am.
absolutely not.
i haven ever once bought any of that pre cooked stuff and i get so annoyed eating out of a package and bottles for like stir fry so i always make my own now. it takes a couple minutes more, but god. its so worth it...
you dont like peeling taters leav ehte peel on and eat it geesh. you can have mashed taters with peel in it. as well as roasted, fried, everything..people are so bloody lazy. i even make my own pizza instead of frozen. or store bought. so much better
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:41am.
Socky long time no see! I almost missed your little knit ass up here.
must.make.coffee.
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*jumping off top of hamper holding mimosa is hand into CTH's arms*
Didn't spill a drop! See?! *little sock monkey hugs & smooches* Hi! CTH!!
Been busy playing (okay, I just drive!) golf with my future FIL at the cuntry club. Taking a course during summer at the university cause the BF says to hurry up & finish. Bleah! *sticking out little sock monkey tongue* Hate school. Nice to see you!
ON T: Cookies still warm from the oven..little crispy around the edges...mmmmm....
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
yeah, it frightens me when I see meat on the shelf in a store that does not need to be refrigerated.
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No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here,did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead N****r Storage?
LOL
I thought I was the only one who found those products redick.
and if you don't make your own bacon, you have no bacon grease for german potatos and stuff!
yeah, mashing avacados is a real bitch, huh.
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Fucka doodle-do.
I was going to give you a hard time MK but you are probably still sleeping....Happy Hungover MK!!!
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
@CTH: I'm still tryna get over the guacamole - you don't even have to cook that!
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:40am.
that and the pre cooked bacon...like you cant fry bacon either? i dont get it...bacon is even easier than mashed taters
Socky long time no see! I almost missed your little knit ass up here.
must.make.coffee.
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Fucka doodle-do.
I have never bought pre-made anything, although, I laugh my ass off at the already mashed potatos you can buy.
yeah, cause mashing potatos is sooooo fucking hard.....
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Fucka doodle-do.
*sipping morning mimosa*
Where the fuck is MK? Bitch still canoodling with his yummy pants du jour?
ON T: Me lurves cake batter...gets me through PMS...
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
man, i had the worst food poisioning from them bloody potstickers. and tehy were fried not even steamed...stupid pork potstickers. bah...i cringe just thinking...worse was some dude in elevator this morning coughing up a lung and im like i dnot want to get sick....bah..he was trying to hold it in but didnt work...i cowered in corner lol
@devil girl...
its 1030 am and mk should beup and at em this morning..i dont care if it was his birthday or not lol.
Submitted by dandifiedviolence on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 5:11am.
ATTENTION LAZY SLUTS - make your own, then you won't get sick!
*****************************
I was tryna keep myself from saying that: predictability and all that...
But yeah - our secret family recipe for chocolate chip cookies that everyone raves about and is hand-written in several recipe files...?
Nestle Toll-House cookies, taken right off a bag of chocolate chips in the 70s sometime.
♥ Threadkilla!
Jason Jones: "So why is aged news better than...real news? "Well, I don't think this is AGED news." "Give me one thing in there that happened today." ~ Interviewing Rick Berke, ASM of the NY Times for The Daily Show.
Greenfinch: I'll never be able to eat steamed little juicy buns again. Had a stomach flu recently and the day I started feeling bad we had those things. They weren't what made me sick, but I can't even think about them now.
Submitted by xerquina on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 8:54am.
argh! i hate when places sell old shit to people without any consequences. if they got sued maybe they'd learn that when something is OLD it's no longer good for you.
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'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Submitted by greenfinch on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:15am.
I know, world leaders don't get to sleep in because their birthday's were the night before! Hung over or not, we need some posts!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
Submitted by devilgirl on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 9:04am.
yeah seriously. ppftt the lazy git should beup posting so we have smoething to talk about
Looks like someone had a big birthday night!
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Submitted by Miss Thang on Wed, 04/08/2009 - 10:17am.
I aint no psychiatrist, but I am bipolar ............
i had it once from potstickers...cant even look at them without wretching
Submitted by Haribo on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 8:44am
i hear yah. food poisoning is no joke.stopped eating Chinese food because of food poisoning
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http://redroomflare.blogspot.com/
I bought one of those giant tubs from Costco a couple of weeks ago. I could only make like 8 or 9 spoonfuls and I was done. I just let it sit in my fridge. I'm kind of wishing I hadn't thrown it away so I could take it back and get my $8 back. I don't think I got sick though. I was wondering why Costco was calling me to tell me not to eat the cookie dough, I thought it was a joke.
man...food poisoning is the worst shit ever. last year i had a hot dog that wasn't fresh (i obviously didn't know about it) and DAMN i was in gigantic pain the whole night puking my intestines out. i would never eat something that is uncooked/unbaked. i have to be sure what i eat is cooked. well....sushi is something esle.
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'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
ATTENTION LAZY SLUTS - make your own, then you won't get sick! (Unless you fail at cooking) Look here for a recipe that'll take five minutes to make thick, chewy cookies - http://cake-etc.blogspot.com/2009/05/cookie-saga-continues-and-possibly-...
http://cake-etc.blogspot.com/
For those who like food.
http://utterbemusement.blogspot.com/
For those who like thinking.
Does the NC meet here anymore?
"former NC member"
I had the most delightful poo today!
Gross.
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'Whut-evva! Whaaat-evvva! Y'all don't know me! Ya don't noe mee!! Don't be haytun, don't be haytun!!'
I'd still eat that shit!
I'd still eat that shit!
I'd still eat that shit!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 06/20/2009 - 1:37am.
Good luck with that, I'm pretty sure you can add vinegar to that recipe and make a car battery.
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ahhaha! you have to stop making me laugh or I won't be able to sleep
car battery, haaha
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@ TITS
oh, yeah! carmel popcorn is righteous! you can just use dannon or whatever's in the grocery store, or you can get the fancy hippie stuff too
@ TV
my recipe for hamburgers: drive to Wendys
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nite, nite!
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