The Question Everyone Has Been Asking (Not Really)
That picture of the twin messiahs! HA! If the "second coming of Jesus" job doesn't work out for them, they should really star in old timey silent-movies. They have the "SHOCK! WHA?! WHO? BAM!" face down. Mary Pickford wishes! Now on to business.
Ever since a chorus of angels carried the twin chosen ones down from heaven on a bed made from God's beard, we haven't seen much of them. I figured they were too busy finding the cure for cancer in their own saliva or writing the sequel to War & Peace. Life & Style says this isn't the case. According to some sources, Knox is bulimic and Vivi is allergic to peons. Basically.
The source said, "They’re both hypersensitive. Knox has trouble holding down his food. He spits up nearly every meal." As for Vivi, she has food and environmental allergies, "Right now, she’s on a lactose and gluten-free diet, and she’s still underweight. Because of their delicate state, Knox and Vivienne need to be kept away from anything they could possibly be allergic to. That’s a lot easier to do when they’re home and in a controlled environment.”
Yeah, some of this is hard to believe. Messiahs don't eat food. They just lick themselves for sustenance. You know, the whole "body of Christ" thing. However, I do believe that they are allergic to us "normal" people. It probably stings their holy eyes when they have to look at commoners who don't have glowing halos over their heads.
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Submitted by Carrie D on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:44am.
This is a lie, the twins are fine and Brad and Angie are just trying to protect them from the paparazzi. The twins are lovely.
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If by lovely you mean looking like they'll bumble through life with the intelligence of dental dams, then YES.
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Team Enthusiastic Wizard Broomstick Meets Thrusthole!
Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:33am.
I love the sidebar: I need to protect my kids from Jon.
Yeah? Well, who will protect them from your hair?
No one is safe from that hair! NO ONE!
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Someone ping me when TerriAnn shows up. I see Carrie D is already in residence but she's a non-starter compared to Terri.
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
This is a lie, the twins are fine and Brad and Angie are just trying to protect them from the paparazzi. The twins are lovely.
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"I met the right person. I don't like being without him." - Angelina Jolie talking about life partner Brad Pitt.
Those babies are totally adorable.
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"It's hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock!"-Trish Suhr of Clean House
Submitted by dreamhypnotique on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:31am.
Okay I'll be the one to say it. When the magazine said "Why Angelina is Hiding the Twins" I had a middle school moment and snickered at the thought of her showing us all her breasts.
LOL!
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:41am.
Awww...Knox = Mickey Rooney and Vivienne = Mother Theresa and AJolie=Dumbass
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*golf clap*
That was awesome.
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Team Enthusiastic Wizard Broomstick Meets Thrusthole!
Submitted by cuntygolightly on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:20am
*nod*
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Awww...Knox = Mickey Rooney and Vivienne = Mother Theresa and AJolie=Dumbass
The twins are mouth breathers like Shiloh...She isnt hiding them, she just doesnt care about them because they are actually hers & she didnt "save" them by adopting them...They dont add to the image she is trying to portray, so, why lug around dead weight when you can leave them at home.
they have Shiloh's lips and Susan Boyles face.
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
People come up to me and they try to talk shit, man
I was making records when you were sucking your mothers DICK!
Submitted by chefcammi on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:35am.
i can safely say that AJ now looks spent. Her days as a sex goddess are OVA!
AJ needs to call up Kate Gosselin to get some MILF beauty tips! More jean skirts HOLIE!
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"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
Maybe she let someone from Ethiopia adopt her little saintly tard-looking spawn.
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Team Enthusiastic Wizard Broomstick Meets Thrusthole!
i can safely say that AJ now looks spent. Her days as a sex goddess are OVA!
~ <3 ~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
People come up to me and they try to talk shit, man
I was making records when you were sucking your mothers DICK!
Well if those kids have major food allergies or one of the eosinophilic diseases, little Ms. Angelina will be one busy bitch coordinating all the twin Messiah's care.
I wouldn't wish that horse shit one anyone, but at least she's got the $$$ to visit the best doctors.
~*Everybody's Doing the Gosselin!*~
Her eyes have always been blue
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:33am.
LMAO @ LCT but it's EYEBROWNS
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EYECATERPILLARFACEABOVEEYEFUZZIES!
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Team Enthusiastic Wizard Broomstick Meets Thrusthole!
Oh yeah, one more thing...those babies are not that cute!
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
I love the sidebar: I need to protect my kids from Jon.
Yeah? Well, who will protect them from your hair?
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If a kid tells you he is going to throw up......believe it.
LMAO @ LCT but it's EYEBROWNS
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
Heeere, Loonie Loon...come out, come out!
The HEND convention is underway!
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"Why would Brad leave such a beautiful woman to hold orphans for Angelina?" - Michael Douglas
Oh Lord, just wait til whenever Brad's movie comes out than you'll be sorry you "asked". And WTF is wrong with her chin?
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If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?
When did Angiejo's eyes become blue.........before or after the second coming?
Those kids are going to need Botox by the time they're 5. PUT YOUR GD EYEBROWS DOWN!
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Team Enthusiastic Wizard Broomstick Meets Thrusthole!
Okay I'll be the one to say it. When the magazine said "Why Angelina is Hiding the Twins" I had a middle school moment and snickered at the thought of her showing us all her breasts.
Carry on...
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Work it, baby.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
They probably sparkle in the sunlight anyway.
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Bottom-feeder.
Puking and food sensitivities are normal for babies...all four of my kids puked until they were a year old. Big fucking deal....
"How do you fuck a fat chick? Flip through the folds and when you smell shit...go back one."
LMAO @ their old timey movie faces!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"When you see crazy coming....cross the street." John Salley
"I just begun too" Teresa Giudice
Just keepin' em hid from Madge and her roidy clit.
"(We're) special..so special.. I gotta have some of your attention.. GIVE IT TO ME!"
~~ <3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~~<3 ~
People come up to me and they try to talk shit, man
I was making records when you were sucking your mothers DICK!
LMAO @ Stoney
Agreed.
These mofos are hiding the twins until they have a new movie to promote.
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
If she brought them out for photo ops more often, then the Brangeloonies wouldn't be clamoring for sightings. And Brangelina wouldn't be scoring magazine covers like this one, and Angie and Brad would be fighting to be relevent.
It's all marketing (aka famewhoring).
They kept Shiloh indoors for a while too, didn't they?. Couldn't it be because they already have 1000 kids and it would be really HARD to use them ALL in photo ops?. Remember they don't have nannies, right?.
I don't think they are sick, I think they're waiting for them to be a little bit older to start whoring them around. Just wait maybe a year more and you'll see. Or keeping them at home would cause a media frenzy, asking everywhere "where are the twins?? drool". I'm waiting for all the magazines and tabloids to start a media speculation over the children.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:18am.
Well they do look a bit special!
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hahahahahahahaha! :D
hmm it's hard to give a fuck about any of this
Munchausen(sp?) syndrome anyone?!?!
Stop putting Pine-Sol in your kids formula you zombie cunt.
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"I've met Janeane Garofalo and she's a cunt"-Artie Lange
Well they do look a bit special!
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CLICK ME www.theanimalrescuesite.com
How strange, I had kinda forgotten they had twins. Yawn. I like Angelina (not Brad) but this whole Brangelina machine has gotten so tired, I think I could go the rest of my life without seeing them ever again. I kinda hope she dumps him, that would be amazing.